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top 200 commentsshow all 354

[–]Milkthiev 212 points213 points ago

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The best part is when your girlfriend says, "Oh Scumbag? No, he is just a friend. He totally doesn't want to have sex with me."

Two weeks later, he tells her he wants to sleep with her.

[–]000130413 160 points161 points ago

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That literally just happened to me last week. Girls are so naive to the intentions of the guys who "just want to be friends".

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sgtpppr 95 points96 points ago

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She just saved you a bunch of wasted time. It was definitely not the most painless way, but at least you can stop wasting your time with her. It's impossible to trust someone who is so fickle that their emotions flip from pole to pole every other month.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sgtpppr 24 points25 points ago

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I know that pain. I had a gf who had this guy friend who used to be quite overly friendly with her (and that was when I was around; no telling how he was when I wasn't). I used to get jealous about it and make comments every once in a while that I really didn't feel comfortable with her hanging out with him. She would give me these HUGE guilt trips about "if i loved her, I would trust her fully" and that nothing at all was going on or would ever go on between them. We broke up and less than a week later, she was dating that guy. It's one thing to move on, but its another to tell your SO that they have zero feelings for some other guy, make you feel like garbage for being jealous and then dating that guy immediately after you break up. She would never tell me if she cheated on me or not. That was a long time ago and trust me, I can barely remember her. It goes away and you'll move on.

[–]LegoLegume 7 points8 points ago

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I know it was a long time ago and you've moved on, but just to point out the upside at least your gut feelings were validated and knowing you have good instincts is helpful in life.

[–]Salvador204 3 points4 points ago

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Same shit happened to me but it was her ex turned friend and the bitch had the decency to wait three weeks, how nice of her.... anyways I feel your pain.

[–]Desmodaeus 17 points18 points ago

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I have a policy when it comes to relationships. I do not hang out with any female friends alone and I expect the same from my SO in terms of males. Regardless of the fact that both people may totally trust each other, it simply does not sit well with me. Call it old fashioned but the idea of me going out by myself with another female while I am in a serious relationship or that my girl is hanging out with some other guy by herself just doesn't seem right to me. Relationships come with enough trials already without adding extra problems to deal with. And even if you can both totally trust each other, that doesn't mean you can trust the people that they are hanging out with. This may not be for everyone, but it works well for us.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Failsniperrr 3 points4 points ago

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How does this make you feel? Just curious...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]plez 7 points8 points ago

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And anyone that says "Oh what, you don't trust me? If you trusted me you wouldn't have a problem with it" needs to be given the axe immediately. When one goes on the offensive like that, they're up to no good and can not be trusted.

[–]guyiosz 1 point2 points ago

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"It's not you I don't trust, it's him/her."

You gotta learn the go to excuses, son.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]plez 2 points3 points ago

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I agree with you but not necessarily. Those are called "shit tests." Some comedian coined the term some time back and his assessment of the situation was very good advice. Got no time for that.

What you said about "If it's later on," that's half of it. The other, and likely more than half (whatever math), is that there is someone else out there willing to give her the goods, MORE goods, honeymoon phase goods, for what she sees as free. He will promise her the world. You can be the same ol' person - not even slacking. But if she now has some guy that shows interest in her (it doesn't even have to be more interest than what you're showing, it's just new strange interest, and that's intriguing, she now sees herself as a hot commodity of which you need to pay more to have).

[–]Filixx 2 points3 points ago

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Thats crazy,i went threw the EXACT same situation. Girls can be so cruel.

[–]Loaded_09 1 point2 points ago

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She wouldn't tell you if she cheated on you or not? Sorry man but she cheated on you.

[–]naengmyeon 9 points10 points ago

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sgtpppr is totally correct. I went through a similar experience a few years ago. Was dating a girl whom I really liked. After a few months, she told me that a friend recently told her he had feelings for her. She said she was very confused and thought she may have feelings for him too. She breaks up with me, and hooked up with the guy I assume. Two weeks later she tells me she made a mistake and wants to give it another shot with me. She seemed to genuinely want to make it work, and I took her back. A week later she breaks up with me again and went back to the other guy.. She went on to date him for about a year. Turned out that it was one of her male roommates, that she had known for a while.

It hurt really bad for a long time. In the long run it was definitely for the best. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and is dedicated to you and making a relationship work. Someone that treats you as an "option" is not worth your time. People like that have a lot to learn when it comes to relationships and love. You were unfortunately a casualty of that immaturity.

[–]ergocogitosum 2 points3 points ago

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I feel really bad for you, and I'm glad you have moved on. Call me childish, but, as a question to reddit, why would anyone ever forgive someone that cheated? I am far too begrudging for that sort of thing.

[–]naengmyeon 1 point2 points ago

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Well, if you are talking about the first time she dumped me, I didn't have reason to believe that she had done anything physical with the other guy at that point. Then after the two weeks, when she wanted to give it another shot, I basically just cared about her so much that I forgave her for what I thought was just confusion, and being emotionally unstable (I found out she was bulimic at that point in time as well). She never actually "cheated" on me Per se, that I know of, but I guess that's all just semantics. In retrospect, I should never have given her a second chance, but sometimes you have to learn these lessons on your own. I am also a very patient and understanding type of person (INFP for the win), so I guess that I was more apt to forgive her, since I really had strong feelings towards her. No need to feel bad for me though, I have a great girlfriend now :)

[–]ergocogitosum 1 point2 points ago

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good to hear, rock on.

[–]isbelly 5 points6 points ago

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As a representative of the fairer sex I have to say when a girl acts like this you are too good for her. The fact you even took her back in the first place proves what a good person you are... at least now you will have the experience to be able to sniff out ahead of time when you are getting screwed around and kick any future self-centered girls to the curb before they can wreck you further. Not like that will happen however- I'm predicting sensitive babes for you from now on. Karma dictates it.

[–]kev2600 6 points7 points ago

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I never read truer words... Golf clap my friend... Golf clap...

[–]BennyBenassi 97 points98 points ago

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Move on, she clearly was looking for something else. Your turn to find something better.

[–]Zenlawl 59 points60 points ago

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I've found taking a dump in her handbag works wonders.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I was looking for a way to misread this that makes it funnier, I failed.

[–]double-o-awesome 3 points4 points ago

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this is a true story (inspired by the scumbag alcohol meme in r/adviceanimals): last year, summertime, we were having a party at my friend's parent's house. they're cool with all of us over drinking, as long as we give them our keys and we stay in the garage (most of us are legal anyways, but they have really nice booze).

fast forward to the point in the night where you're looking for who is hooking up with whom and oh-shit-eddie-is-eddie-throwing-up-right-now? a buddy of mine is trying to keep away from his ex, who is at the party with a bunch of her obnoxious friends (she was a real bitch after the breakup). next thing we know (cf. 430AM), when people are starting to file inside and claim couches and floorspace to sleep on, i see my friend slowly make it to the backyard.

in his hand, he's not-so-subtly carrying his ex's purse. he then promptly whips out his dick and pees DIRECTLY INTO THE BAG. keep in mind, this isn't some $10 flea market bag, this shit was some designer label. he fills this thing with about 10 beers of piss, zips it up, and sets it gently on the floor where he found it. i laughed it off at the time, and then slipped inside to get some sleep. next thing i remember is being rudely awoken at 8 the next morning to his ex SCREAMING at the top of her lungs and one of her friend throwing up at the piss-stench. i had to muffle my laughter in a pillow, because she was on the war path looking for who pissed in the bag.

TL;DR - my friend drunkenly pissed in his ex's handbag, and it was AWESOME.

[–]dgtlhrt 3 points4 points ago

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NICE Benny!

[–]shiftup72 2 points3 points ago

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Dropping relationship advice like he drops the bass.

[–]pneuma_ex_nihilo 1 point2 points ago

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[–]cloud7 10 points11 points ago

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Hey buddy. Chin up. I got hurt too, and found someone a lot better. Find someone who will truly love you for who you are. The end of a relationship means that there was something wrong with the unit, not with you. You will find someone better, as long as you don't let this thing keep you down for too long.

I watched this video on repeat for months until I was emotionally ready to emotionally reclaim myself and move on. Another redditer gave this to me after I made a post about how upset I was that my first love had gone behind my back and started dating someone else then lied to me about it and broke up with me in a similar manner. Now I'll pass it on to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RstefCPs3kU

You are better than her, and you've already proven that your morals are far better than hers. She was wrong. Let it go, and find someone truly deserving of your character and the love you have to give. Hold your head up, bud, and remember - it is ALWAYS more satisfying to COMPLETELY cut off your ex from your life than it is to lay into her and scream and tell her how much of a cunt she is, even though she deserves it. She already knows it. Be a man, and take some time to forgive everyone involved and let it go. This was best for you. You'll find a sexier fish. There are always sexier fish.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Paper_Mache 6 points7 points ago

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If she can bounce so haphazardly in and out of a relationship with you it means that you don't mean that much to her. Someone who truly wants to be with you could not/would not do this to you.

I'm sorry this happened but hopefully it has opened your eyes to the kind of person she is.

[–]exe0 5 points6 points ago

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My girlfriend of more than 4 years broke up with me recently. Even though I still love her and I wish that things could have been different, I know that the fact that we broke up the way we did and over the things we did means that it wouldn't have worked out anyway.

I feel somewhat relieved by that thought. Your ex sounds like she has no idea what she wants. If she really wants to pursue a relationship with some random guy on the internet, be glad that you dodged a bullet. Give it time and it'll get better.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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i just recently split with my girlfriend of almost 3 years. it sucked splitting but in the long run things will be much better for both of us. we just weren't on the same page in life, and i rather things go to shit now when it did then a year later. i think the only way for me to get past exes is to just completely shut myself off from them. fuck the being friends bullshit it don't work for me.

[–]Fridian 1 point2 points ago

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2 and a half years right here, man. What you said just nailed it. I realized that we weren't on the same page anymore and that I was slowly falling out of love with her. Breaking up was really difficult, but I still don't have any regrets.

[–]plez 5 points6 points ago

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Never take them back. EVER.

[–]Yodwinder 2 points3 points ago

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Just as amazing as promised.

[–]notquitegone 3 points4 points ago

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Do her friend.

[–]Iwearhats 4 points5 points ago

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I can kind of relate.

My sob story from last year:

Dated my ex for nearly 2 years. She ends up moving in with her mom down south while she goes to med school. I'm fine with it, I've dealt with long distance college relationships before. Everything was fine for a while. She got a job at a hospital with her mom while she went to med school. I figured I had nothing to worry about.

Went to go visit her about 3 months after she moved, stayed for a week, had the time of my life. Shortly after my visit, her new co-workers get her to play World Of Warcraft with them. Being a former wow player, i figured it would be an awesome way to spend time with her while shes away. I play with her for a little bit, and then notice scumbag doctor that she works with getting far too friendly with her in game and over vent.

Start getting paranoid, confront her about it. I get the whole "He's just a friend, I'm not even attracted to him, I'd never sleep with the guy." Alright, I take her word on it. Well I start joining her works vent server a little more then before, just to talk to her sometimes, and I notice her and scumbag doctor are talking in binds, and have all these "cute" inside jokes.

I confront her about it again, she flips out, says she needs space. I leave her alone for a few days, she comes back saying I need to work on myself and my jealousy issues before I get into another relationship. Right out of the blue too. She breaks up with me over Skype, then ignores me for about 3 months.

Those 3 months were the worst. I was crushed, I was getting ready to propose to this girl when I was going to visit her again in a few weeks. I had no idea why she was ignoring me, but it drove me absolutely crazy.

Christmas came around. I simply send her a message that says "Merry Christmas" and she finally responds. It took a while for me to get anything out of her, but I finally found out that she dated scumbag doctor shortly after breaking up with me, scumbag doctor says he's shooting blanks, scumbag doctor lied, ex got pregnant, scumbag doctor ran off with another woman.

So who does she need to vent to? The guy whos already torn up about a 3 month break up, and is just now finding out the ex he still cares about was impregnated by some jersey shore wanna be douche.

Funny thing is, it's been nearly a year later. She got an abortion, still talks to me every day, sends me mixed signals while saying she wants everything to be "platonic" between us, still lives 900 some miles away, and I still cant get over this shit.

[–]justasian 2 points3 points ago

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I suggest you stop letting her decide the fate of this whole situation, this situation doesn't just encompass her it encompasses you as well. Lay it down, everything your feeling, don't sit idly by while your emotions are being thrown around as if you have no control over it. Also, I've seen situations such as this many times and every damn time the relationship the ex-girlfriend leaves you for never lasts long; so when the time comes, make sure your mind is in the right place.

[–]publiclibraries 9 points10 points ago

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She sounds like a cunt, you don't need that kind of bullshit.

[–]shorty6049 6 points7 points ago

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and this, my friends is why we still need public libraries

[–]d3f4ult 1 point2 points ago

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I feel your pain man, the same thing's happened to me, and, I suspect, to a lot of us. The lesson to take away is: don't make someone your priority when you're only their option.

Trust me, eventually it will stop hurting, you'll find someone who gives back as much as she receives, and you'll be far happier than you ever could have been with the ex.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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totally know the feeling about this situation.

[–]Dved 1 point2 points ago

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Dude this happens to a lot of guys, don't get too hung up about it. In my experience MOST girls won't break up with their guy unless they have another potential guy to fall back on.

Not that it doesn't hurt like bitch when it happens every single fucking time.

[–]fawker 1 point2 points ago

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I got my heart ripped out once, when I was young. After a year, I was over it. I was never the same, but I was never that weak again.

Still single though.. hrmm..

[–]cclady 18 points19 points ago

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Truth is a lot of the times girls do know (at least I do) or they at least suspect. But it's kind of cocky to just think the guy wants to do us and what are we to do? Stop being friends with someone because of an assumption that may/may not be true? And we're also not going to tell our boyfriend that our male friend wants to do us, would you tell your girlfriend if you suspected one of your female friends wanted you?

[–]000130413 51 points52 points ago

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Yes actually. And thats happend before. I would prefer my girlfriend find out from me rather than someone else and think I was trying to hide it from her. Honesty and openness are how trust is built and maintained in a relationship. I'm not an expert by any means, but it works for us.

[–]cheezy8 9 points10 points ago

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Well true but if you're not even sure, are you rly going to tell your bf? "hey Im not sure but i think this guy wants to sleep with me". It just seems like one is trying to stir the pot

[–]Dubzil 12 points13 points ago

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It's called communication, not "trying to stir the pot" and yes, you should have good communication with your SO, even if it is "hey, I'm not sure but I think this guy wants to sleep with me."

[–]cheezy8 8 points9 points ago

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And if its not true? Then you just sound like a drama-loving twit. Because chances are, a boyfriend isn't going to sit around and do nothing if his gf tells him someone is trying to sleep with her. Id rather avoid a pointless confrontation. If Im SURE of something, thats a different story.

[–]cclady 3 points4 points ago

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Thank you, this is what I was trying to explain but I either said it wrong or people really didn't understand.

[–]Inabit 3 points4 points ago

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Honestly i don't mind if my SO doesn't tell me about every friend she thinks is wants to sleep with her, because if she is stupid enough to cheat than she is too stupid to understand good communication.

So if she is intelligent enough to understand that hanging around someone who wants to fuck you is a bad move in a serious relationship she also won't be likely to sleep around. Therefore i don't need to know it is already handled.

[–]GiggityGiggityGooOO 9 points10 points ago

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Yes, i would. Immediately. Just to make sure there wouldnt be any issues or confusions in the future.

[–]cclady 1 point2 points ago

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Based on an assumption?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Based on his username.

[–]nermid 12 points13 points ago

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You're damn right I would.

I mean, it'd probably be in my most pompous voice, and we'd end up chuckling at the friend's expense like horrible people, but I'm kind of a horrible person, so it fits.

[–]Milkthiev 6 points7 points ago

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I think that while you make a very good point, a guy would be quicker to admit that a girl would want to sleep wit him and then dismiss it to reassure his girlfriend.

If my girlfriend is constantly hanging out with someone I am suspicious of, I would eventually take that as a reflection on how she feels about me. Additionally, I think guys can get away with more than girls can. If a girl is texting me for any reason, my girlfriend would be suspicious. A "platonic" male friend can probably get away with sending random cutesy texts and bunnies and crap like that without a girl acknowledging the creepiness factor.

[–]cheezy8 13 points14 points ago

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Lol i think you have it mixed. Its almost expected of girls to text hearts and emoticons and cutesy shit. Guys dont usually do that so if they DID text some cutesy stuff THEN id be suspicious.

[–]Gonkulator 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah actually I would. Why wouldn't you tell him that? He'll end up finding out and think that you were hiding it from him and that will only cause more problems and distrust. Not the smartest thing to do.

[–]100_points 3 points4 points ago

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an assumption that may/may not be true?

It's true.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]27yearold 11 points12 points ago

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false.

[–]Dubzil 0 points1 point ago

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would you tell your girlfriend if you suspected one of your female friends wanted you?

Yes, and you should tell your boyfriend. Not telling him just shows that you are hiding something.

[–]wisenheimer 4 points5 points ago

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Not necessarily. Throwing out that a friend wants you in someone's face is obnoxious. My remedy is to make it clear to that friend who wants you that it is all about you and your love interest. If they don't get the point, don't want to hear it, denial, what not, then SAY IT LOUDER AND CLEARER and excommunicate that person if they don't respect it.

[–]cclady 1 point2 points ago

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I suppose if he asks and I assume the guy's into me, yes. But if I don't know for sure what's the point of starting a possible argument?

[–]Skimtastic 1 point2 points ago

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Naive....

or they probably do have a notion of what's going on but PUT ON THE MASK OF NAIVETY

[–]hubilation 13 points14 points ago

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Oh baby you, you got what I neeeeeeed

But you say he's just a friend, oh you say he's just a friend

[–]SlightlySlizzed 16 points17 points ago

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All of my girlfriends "guy friends", ended up being secretly in love with her. Ask yourself this guys, when do you ever want to be "just friends" with a pretty girl? Never, you always have some secret motives.

[–]nobodynose 6 points7 points ago

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Eh, I think you're mixing it up.

ALL guys will sleep with their average looking (and sometimes below average) female friends as long as there's 100% no strings attached (no awkwardness, no commitment, nothing changes in the relationship) and no religious or weird angle like that.

That's not quite the same as what you're saying. Though, what you're saying happens frequently (male friends of a girl secretly love the girl and wish she'd fall for them) it's not always like that. You just need to witness them interact a little and you can tell how it is.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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I've found that I would like to be just friends with a lot of my attractive girl friends. Then again, I feel like I have pretty good control over my horniness, even while drunk.

[–]carpeDeezNuts 2 points3 points ago

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..but you say he's just a friend, and you say he's just a friend, oh baby

[–]Wet_Walrus 1 point2 points ago

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"No, he is just a friend"

Hah, tell her to reach for his zipper next time they're drinking together to see if he pushes her hand away. There's the true test.

[–]Chakosa 6 points7 points ago

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"Just a friend" doesn't mean "I won't do anything if you initiate something." Retarded test.

[–]Punishedone 269 points270 points ago

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Pretty fucking spot on

[–]tEnPoInTs 86 points87 points ago

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I came here to say this, he nailed it. My SO has this new friend I haven't met yet, and with no actual ill will intended, this is fucking exactly what he looks like in my head when she talks about him. I never made the Steve connection, but it's permanently there forever now.

[–]confoundedvariable 20 points21 points ago

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The last time my SO had a new male friend I hadn't met yet, she wound up breaking off our engagement and leaving me after four and a half years to be with him. Hopefully your situation turns out better than mine!

[–]d_rok 1 point2 points ago

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It won't. If your lady starts talking a lot about a new male friend, she's fucking him.

[–]djstephaniebell 3 points4 points ago

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not always true. i work in an office that is 90% male, so I talk about my male coworkers a lot, as they are the only people I see all day long. I am not fucking any of them.

[–]Josharuu 34 points35 points ago

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I came in here thinking I'd be the only one thinking "they are all scumbag steves!" Reddit, you didn't let me down.

But on the real, my gf had this friend that looked pretty close to being him. He wanted to hangout with her at a park (originally wanted her to go to his house), and I told her he was going to make a move. She didn't believe me, and told me nothing would happen. Ended up going further than I thought and sexually assaulted her in the middle of the park and she couldn't tell me for weeks. You just kind of know...(before we were going out, too)

[–]Piratiko 27 points28 points ago

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Oh my god, I'd be so fucking mad.

[–]duprass -3 points-2 points ago

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Me too! It's all her fault.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I hope you're joking.

[–]Terravoltaeg 16 points17 points ago

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The jealous boyfriend mentality. I have it too =(

[–]wisenheimer 17 points18 points ago

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"Ohhh you're not Jealous are you?"

/ The manipulation that launched a million affairs.

[–]ziplokk 14 points15 points ago

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"Ohhh you're not Jealous are you?"

RED FLAG

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I have boderline jealous girlfriend mentality =[
it sucks. I'm a good person, really! I swear!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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If you can't trust your girlfriend to hang out with guys, then apparently your trust has already been broken.

[–]abortions_kick_ass 4 points5 points ago

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It's not the girls they necessarily don't trust. It's the guys.

No one goes into friendships planning on having affairs. Well, the majority of the time anyways. And men are snakes.l

[–]xander1026 1 point2 points ago

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Wait, not wanting your girlfriend to have male friends isn't jealousy and paranoia? Maybe you are less trusting than you could be.

[–]d_rok 1 point2 points ago

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It's not about trust/jealousy. It's about what is and is not appropriate to do when you're in a serious relationship with another person. The type of friendships a single person has are not the same type of friendships a married person has. Getting close and watching a movie, or kissing at a bar you're drunk, or doing a little dirty dancing (things you have probably done while single with a platonic friend of the opposite sex)... even if it doesn't lead to sex, is not appropriate conduct for a person in a relationship. Is it "cheating" maybe not, depending on whom you ask, but it's best practice to take that out of the equation. If that means you don't hang out with someone the way you used to, that's part of process we all go through when we grow/change as people. And committing yourself to someone is a big change. It means you're willing to give all that single stuff up.

[–]thrillho666 11 points12 points ago

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This.

However I'll share a story. My GF had a guy friend she'd spend a lot of time with at Uni, studying and what not. Obviously I'm thinking Scumbag-Steve. I'd never met the guy for a year, until I met him at her birthday party, and found out he played drums. Now we're in a band together and are really good friends.

[–]fawker 3 points4 points ago

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eskimo brothers

[–]Laminar 7 points8 points ago

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"Hey; you done with her yet?

[–]Deadpotato 5 points6 points ago

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yep, even after i meet the guy sometimes it's like this

[–]Punishedone 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah, especially when she just takes off running the first time you meet him to give him a hug. Feels bad man.

[–]Pleonidas 135 points136 points ago

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And this is how her male friends imagine you. Great.

[–]theconservativelib 14 points15 points ago

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In my case they imagine me more like this. Add a laptop in there and they're pretty close.

[–]Theolodious 34 points35 points ago

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They imagine you as Brad Pitt? And you ARE Brad Pitt with a laptop? You're living the dream.

[–]theconservativelib 5 points6 points ago

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You too can live the dream!!!!

[–]kayvoon 1 point2 points ago

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what movie is that from?

[–]theconservativelib 7 points8 points ago

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True Romance. He plays a stoner who sits there all day living the dream.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds like r/trees.

[–]K1774B 2 points3 points ago

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True Romance.

The best thing Quentin Tarantino ever had a hand in.

(Don't get me wrong, I like almost every Tarantino film, but True Romance is in a class above the rest IMHO)

[–]shorty6049 1 point2 points ago

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you WISH you could eat that much honey...

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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Yeah, but who's the one that's fucking her?

[–]SirMarkus 15 points16 points ago

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Probably her boyfriend.

[–]Ziplock189 18 points19 points ago

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hopefully her boyfriend. FIFY

[–]nermid 28 points29 points ago

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This is more or less how I imagine any male I don't know when people talk about him.

[–]fswizz 156 points157 points ago

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How they actually are:

http://i.imgur.com/CYfgo.jpg

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points ago

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At this point, I've seen that hat so many times that it even looks 'shopped in the original picture.

[–]marcospolos 5 points6 points ago

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Thank you for freaking me out.

[–]exoendo 1 point2 points ago

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maybe it is O_O

[–][deleted] 63 points64 points ago

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i haven't seen the picture without text in so long

he seriously looks like the worst person on the planet

[–]Reddicator 8 points9 points ago

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He looks like my brother.

It freaks me out sometimes.

[–]philosoraptocopter 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think the real Scumbag Steve will ever be able to make friends, hold down a job, or be happy ever again. Thanks to the internet.

[–]blackhawk465 12 points13 points ago

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[–]thrashhard702 38 points39 points ago

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After meeting a lot of my girl's friends, most are scumbags.

True story

[–]ihatethinkingofnames 14 points15 points ago

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That's what I like to call a red flag.

True story

[–]eyetinerant 2 points3 points ago

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For real. Like, I literally cannot stand some of them. There's like one guy that I like.

[–]andyhite 40 points41 points ago

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My girlfriend actually has some pretty awesome guy friends. That being said, OP's post is pretty much how I imagine all of her ex-boyfriends.

[–]bunit03057 8 points9 points ago

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Hmm funny I think her ex-bf are good guys. Her ex-friends are scumbags. Seeing as they are ex-friends because they professed their love for her after we got engaged.

[–]elmarko44 14 points15 points ago

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I know I'm a little late to the game regarding the "Scumbag Steve" meme, but I gotta say this... That hat looks stupid on that guy.

[–]jasmaree 3 points4 points ago

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That hat would look stupid on just about anyone.

[–]ChunkyChickenSoup 1 point2 points ago

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Nowadays people'd wear to be all like "lol I'm scumbag steve" Like when people "ironically" draw swastikas on shit.

[–]slyguy183 1 point2 points ago

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Sweet, I'm going to wear that hat now because it's not mainstream

[–]VestaDear 7 points8 points ago

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I really wish this was not true.

But I am fairly certain that when I mention talking to a guy friend to my boyfriend he imagines them masturbating furiously whilst texting me.

[–]ryamatsu 23 points24 points ago

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Funny because he looks exactly like the scumbag trying to rob my ex gf everyday in high school. I hated that asshole...

[–]Phapeu 48 points49 points ago

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It's especially annoying when your girlfriend thinks he's completely innocent.

There was this one guy who was friends with a girlfriend that I had when I was in school. When I started going out with her he started wearing the same clothes as me, bought the same school bag and shoes as me. He suddenly became interested in everything that I was interested in but never spoke to me.

Every time I went to meet her around school he'd be talking to her and then leave when he saw me coming. He once threatened me about ever hurting her and I eventually found out that he was always bad-mouthing me to her.

She thought that I was being ridiculous when I said that he liked her. I wasn't pushy or demanding. I told her that I don't care if she hangs out with him, I just wanted to warn her that his feelings will come out one day. She got mad at me for being jealous even though I wasn't in the slightest bit worried about him.

A few days later he told her that he had always loved her and that he'd kill himself if she didn't leave me for him.

She didn't and he didn't, but he did blame me for the fact that she didn't talk to him any more.

[–]Mr_Walter_Sobchak 56 points57 points ago

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"we're part of the same friends group, if we all get drunk we cuddle sometimes it's completely harmless and he lets me sleep on his bed instead of sleeping on the couch, stop being jealous and insecure..."

[–]grimmymac 20 points21 points ago

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fuck you this hit too close to home

[–]whitenoise89 3 points4 points ago

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Dude.

...Dude. Same here.

Not with any chicks I dated, but girls I started getting involved with.

Fuck everything about it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]soniaj87 4 points5 points ago

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Am I the only one who read this as "he was trying to steal things from ryamatsu's ex g/f?"

[–]stdtm 2 points3 points ago

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Yes, I think you are.

[–]Fazaman 2 points3 points ago

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He didn't say that? (looks again) Oooh. I get it now.

[–]AdventureIsland 3 points4 points ago

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me too man, me too....

[–]echopaff 66 points67 points ago

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Posts overused and unfunny meme.

Nails it.

[–]McBurger 4 points5 points ago

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I can't shake the feeling that the hat is photoshopped on there, despite this being the original...

[–]MystischLibelle 9 points10 points ago

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How my boyfriend sees my friends

[–]theetlb 2 points3 points ago

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You lucky girl.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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EXTREMELY true, but funnily enough, think about it: you're probably this same guy to a number of other unfortunate boyfriends out there you don't know.

[–]exe0 10 points11 points ago

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My ex-girlfriend and I changed our relationship to a sort of open relationship (before anyway breaking up a few weeks later) and one of her male friends saw something about it on facebook. After she explained the situation to him the first fucking thing told her was that they should have sex. Straight up, without any hesitation. What a cunt. She luckily told him off.

[–]Jaymaster1 2 points3 points ago

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I know from experience that this is not our imagination, its the truth.

[–]Trvth_Jvstice 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, he's a scumbag, but when she's had a few drinks, she thinks he's totally hot!

[–]brandonkiel27 3 points4 points ago

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haha this is my fav scumbag post

[–]FlyingSalt 5 points6 points ago

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Just so you know, you weren't over reacting. We really do want to fuck her and will try.

[–]pruittmckean 8 points9 points ago

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my gf of a year broke up with me last spring. and recently i found out shes dating one of her guy friends who i will now refer to scumbag ted

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Did he make a move on her while you two were still together? If not then...what's the problem?

[–]d3f4ult 15 points16 points ago

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The problem is that that guy was weakening their bond the whole time.

Think of it in chemistry terms. You've got some stable, happy molecular complex. The bond strengths flux a little bit due to the environment, but in general it's very unlikely that the bonds will break. Now introduce some ion into the solution. The ion attaches to the complex and now everything is super unstable. The tiny fluxes that previously would have been nothing suddenly are enough to break the bonds and off that bitch floats with some piece of shit.

If your girlfriend is blowing up over really small things, it usually means that she's partially invested, emotionally, in someone else. It's hard enough work keeping a relationship strong without one or both of the parties investing energy in other people.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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How do you know he was weakening their relationship? Every person's situation is different. You can't deign to know the intricacies that went into this person's relationship or why it ended.

Do you think women are just these flaky pea-brains flirting with any guy who tries to get with them?

If your girlfriend is blowing up really small things there are any number of things that could be wrong. The idea that if your girlfriend is getting unusually upset lately means she is emotionally invested in another guy is honestly one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

Honestly, you clearly have not a fucking clue what you're talking about. I don't know if you've never had a girlfriend or close female friend, or just had really bad girlfriends or female friends who colored your opinion of people and their relationships, but whatever it is you have been incredibly misinformed.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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All women are secretly whores and everyone else is a scumbag, only I am an awesome, special guy who's probably too good for that bitch anyway!

There you go, the mentality of something like 80% of the people I've seen in this thread.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I wish I could give you more than one upvote. But bravo. This is exactly what is happening here and it's ridiculous.

[–]plez 1 point2 points ago

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Wrong. The way I see it is it's easier to end a relationship that has gone sour. Sure is easy to break up when everyone is miserable, right? So what better way to have things go to shit than by making them go to shit? It's just so she can get out of the relationship and not feel guilty about it. "Things were bad anyway."

Just look at the reality of things: hot girl, numerous lesser males fawning over a chance. Girls love the attention, it's part of their upbringing and/or nature (lacking citation, just personal observations). As very well they have the right to be because they are the choosers for the survival of the race. The female is the one that has the hard time being attracted to a male. Guys can get it up for damn near anything. It's just the way things are. The male struts around and the female picks the best suitor based on uncountable immeasurable values. Things that are deeply written into the subconscious for more years than we even know how to estimate. Who will provide me the most?

Women need to be told they are beautiful, they need to feel wanted. This is what society has sold them. And they believe they deserve it. Now you have a bunch of beta males running around willing to give away the goods for free. Free gifts, free compliments, free emotional support, all with no cost to the female. Just hopes for these "nice guys" to get their chance. These clowns are raising the bar for all other guys out there because they're giving away free goods and inflating the system. It takes a strong willed mature female to see through this bullshit, and in the younger crowd that's hard to come by.

[–]wisenheimer 1 point2 points ago

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I think he's just saying that Ted was a buzzard circling, and hoping.....

[–]AllianceOfLions 11 points12 points ago

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And to this date, I haven't been wrong.

[–]JAlexander32 5 points6 points ago

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Or how a girl views her guy's friends.

[–]BaronVonDinosaur 2 points3 points ago

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I had a crush in high school that ended up dating a friend of mine. They are married now. As soon as they started dating, I lost a lot of interest in her. I respected my friend and the fact that she was in a relationship. This doesn't mean I don't like the idea of sleeping with her, but it does mean my friend needn't worry about us being alone, at least in terms of me initiating things.

I'm not experienced with dating, forever alone, etc, but it seems like worrying about other guys is more likely to reflect worrying about a women leaving you for someone else. Also, guys who lack confidence with women, such as myself, may love the idea of being more than friends but unlikely to ever act on that interest. I've never heard of a real situation where a friend rejects another friend's advances? Is it awkward and friendship ruining like on television?

[–]plez 1 point2 points ago

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Time to man up, pal. If you like a girl you let her know. The sooner the better. A "situation where a friend rejects another friend's advances?" Absolutely all the time. Ask some females you know if they've ever had a situation where they thought they had a really good guy friend and then he made a move on her and it either ended up in a regretful situation for her or the friendship coming to an abrupt halt because she "didn't think he was like that." Just another "nice guy" waiting for his chance. Don't be that guy. Your chances of becoming "just friends" with a girl and then upgrading later are pathetically small. Don't go giving away free goods.

[–]Wubby113 2 points3 points ago

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Something like this just happened to me. Long distance relationship due to going to different colleges. She has this friend i never liked, even before i met her. He goes to a college in the same city. I always said he was a creep and he looks/acts like he's going to take advantage of a friend one day. She always made me feel like i was just being jealous or whatever and i was in the wrong. We broke up about a week ago. 3 days later she went to his college for a party drank a ton and slept in his bed. The next night he goes to a party at her college they get very drunk and start hooking up. 7 month relationship and just 4 days later she's already making out with him. I confronted her about it and she didn't even feel bad/guilty or regret it. I then basically told her off and we haven't talked since.

[–]samisbond 1 point2 points ago

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It's not just what they've done, it's the total lack of guilt that hurts so much. How does she not feel so dirty as a human being? I could never do such a thing. I find it cruel.

[–]Milkthiev 2 points3 points ago

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In high school, my girlfriend had a close guy friend who would talk to her on the phone almost every day. He would say, "Milk is the second best guy for you". obviously referring to the fact that he was the best.

She said she didn't find him attractive and would never be with him. Meanwhile, if the situation was reversed, she would flip her shit.

Fast forward a year (after we had broken up), they had hooked upa bunch of times. Now I know I had no right to be upset but the fact that he was always scumbagging made their hook up that much harder to take.

[–]octoquake 4 points5 points ago

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I would think you had reason to be upset. That would be something that would bother me quite a bit.

[–]TheGreenBackPack 2 points3 points ago

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90% of guys just don't be friends with a girl strictly with the intentions of remaining friends, especially if the girl is good looking. odds are that even if they say its merely a friendship, they are praying you too have break up so they will have a shot, and will sometimes do as much as they can to discreetly make this happen.

[–]azninsect 2 points3 points ago

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ugh yes...

while i was dating my ex, a guy i knew (who was a tactless ass) started befriending her. we had just started dating and he was asking about me, if her and i were dating, etc. getting very personal and eerily nice. i told her that i thought he was hitting on her. she told me he was harmless.

another guy i knew was also being friendly with my ex while we were dating. at one point he wanted her to go to his place. ring the alarm bells, i told her he was making a move. she didnt believe me. thankfully that night her friend came to pick her up early.

about a year later, she breaks up with me. not more than 2 months later (as far as i know), she dates the first of pre-mentioned dudes, after lying to me about having feelings for him when i was talking to her to get some closure. she dumps him a little while later, then starts dating the second dude.

and it still hurts. granted now ive gym'd up and turns out shes crushed the soul of this guy. i ran into her a few weeks ago. she proceeds to check me out, says i look really good and hugs me. all i could think was: "Bitch, you dont touch this"

this isnt to say that all of your girlfriend's male friends are like this. it helps to be wary.

tl;dr: ex dumps me and dates 2 dudes she claimed werent hitting on her, nor had feelings for. 2 from 2 isnt a bad record...

[–]Kiwilolo 5 points6 points ago

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I am quite sure some of my male friends would sleep with me if I let them. I would probably sleep with some of them if I wasn't in a relationship. But I have no interest in cheating. So what's the problem?

I don't think it makes them scumbags to be friends with a girl they would consider sleeping with or dating, as long as they don't try to make a move on me while I'm in a relationship.

[–]27yearold 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for saying this. Just because there is attraction doesn't mean anything is going to happen. Reasonable people think through their choices, and don't just act on a whim, even drunk. Just because a girl is girlfriend material, doesn't mean you're entitled to her just like you're not entitled to your friends TV. In fact, a guy is hardly your friend if he doesn't respect your thought out choices and wishes.

[–]demoncarcass 16 points17 points ago

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Unless you're sane and secure, then you don't give a fuck like myself.

[–]abortions_kick_ass 1 point2 points ago

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Even sane and secure people can get shit on in relationships.

[–]Afterburned 2 points3 points ago*

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Yeah, I dunno why Reddit has such a hard timetrusting people.

[–]TragicOne 13 points14 points ago

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Read some of the examples they have given and maybe you will?

[–]demoncarcass 2 points3 points ago

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Probably because there are a lot of dishonest people. That's why I associate with people I have found to be completely honest, and don't concern myself with people that are the opposite.

[–]Zarfi 4 points5 points ago

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It's been confirmed they do look like that.

[–]FleshyMeatCreature 1 point2 points ago

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I'm quite familiar with Scumbag Steve, but every time I see him, it's as if I've never seen anyone near as trashy as him. Look at the gross fuck.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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After seeing that hat on so many different people, it looks strangely photoshopped in the original.

[–]Joymachine 1 point2 points ago

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I love it when i get to meet the Girlfriends close male friends. I have heard all this great stuff, we all like the same music, movies, and food. What i find?? Pissed off bloaks on the bad side of a friend zone... and I get to be the confirmation of that=(

[–]Ilgarlando 1 point2 points ago

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This is actually refreshingly original!

[–]anon0618 1 point2 points ago

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That statement is only true if you are an insecure bastard who cant trust your girlfriend.

[–]capnchicken 1 point2 points ago

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Wasn't expecting to have to ctrl-F this ...

But, yeah ITT: LOTS of insecurity

[–]DuckTruck 1 point2 points ago

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I don't, because Im a GGG.

[–]MixMixBrad 3 points4 points ago

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Am I the only one here that isn't that possessive?

[–]DoubleHawk4Life 1 point2 points ago

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TROOF

[–]dasfeesh 1 point2 points ago

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He's only her friend because he wanted to sleep with her in the first place

[–]Smoopid 0 points1 point ago

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Girls dont have male friends. They have people who want to fuck them and a boyfriend. No one talks to a girl unless they want to bang them or need a sandwich.

[–]Dbfutral -3 points-2 points ago

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Only if said guy is insecure.

[–]sheldonjp 24 points25 points ago

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-girlfriend's scumbag male friend

[–]tmhot 0 points1 point ago

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accurate.

[–]tyrankh11 0 points1 point ago

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YUP

[–]COCA2113 0 points1 point ago

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True story.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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for some of us, its true.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What a scumbag.

[–]ipoopedthebed 0 points1 point ago

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yup

[–]I_fail_at_memes 0 points1 point ago

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I was expecting a very large penis to be attached.

[–]QuoteOfTheHour 0 points1 point ago

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Amazing

[–]Cal_Q_Later8008 0 points1 point ago

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i lived it, though he didn't look like steve, he had the same qualities...

[–]Natv 0 points1 point ago

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In my case, it isn't just my imagination, all her friends are like this(Except 2).

[–]kentrel 0 points1 point ago

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In this case of some girls, it's been sadly true....