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top 200 commentsshow all 345

[–]FuneralDirector 119 points120 points ago

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I'd have like negative 15 cents.

[–]Raumschiff 14 points15 points ago

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[–]johnnyquest88 2 points3 points ago

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For those of you who are horrified and need context like one of my friends was: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYKupOsaJmk

[–]ara_p 2 points3 points ago

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YouTube link in a Reddit thread: time sink within a time sink.

[–]cuddlefucker 241 points242 points ago

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I'm impressed in how well immersed he had me in his awful story. Plus one internet to this guy.

[–]letsRACEturtles 53 points54 points ago

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if only m. night shyamalan used 4chan

[–]pseamus 604 points605 points ago

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literally laughed out load

[–]sp00t 828 points829 points ago

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That's what happens when you masturbate and laugh at the same time.

[–]Sleekery 310 points311 points ago

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Didn't notice the typo until I read your comment. Upvote for you.

[–]Drook 212 points213 points ago

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Didn't realize what he was talking about til I read your comment which then caused me to catch the typo. Upvote for both of you.

[–]shadowman424 77 points78 points ago

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Didn't realize what either of you were... Ah you know where this is going. Upvotes all around!

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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Can people decide that my comment is also funny rather than pandering so that I may receive upvotes for posting in a well received comment chain?

[–]rekgreen 8 points9 points ago

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No, this is what happens when you give a BJ and laugh at the same time.

[–]CFChunx 10 points11 points ago

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This hurts the penis.

[–]slurr 29 points30 points ago

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Or when you laugh and you are Canadian

[–]hiima 29 points30 points ago

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that would be laughed oot lood.

[–]SkyeFire 7 points8 points ago

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toot woold boo looghood oot lood. FTFYoooooooooooooo

[–]darkmaninperth 15 points16 points ago

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Australia checking in, Canadians still sound American to us.

[–]AriBBCP 23 points24 points ago

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canadian here, australians still sound british to us

[–]darkmaninperth 7 points8 points ago

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Having lived in England, I can attest that we do sound like British southerners to the untrained ear.

[–]DiamondShreddy 3 points4 points ago

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The Australian accent is easier to pick up if you listen for the twang in the letter "a".

Canadian accent is hard to pick up. At least the close-to-the-border accent. You'd have to be looking for it. The best way to do that is listen to the pronunciation of the words "house" and "about". Canadians pronounce the combination "ou" like saying the letter "O" whereas Americans say it like the "ow" in the word "out".

Most Americans confuse this and think Canadians say Hoose or Aboot.


And any northern Canadian/Albertan/Maritimer/Quebecois have really obvious accents.

[–]Yid 0 points1 point ago

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British southerner here, Australians still sound like kiwis to us. Your all "where the caaar" and they are all "where's the caaar" - Jermaine Clement

[–]Varyter 1 point2 points ago

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Half Australian half Canadian here, Canadians sound Canadian.

[–]searingsky 6 points7 points ago

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reddit: beating dead horses since at least 2009

[–]TheHeavyRocksteady 11 points12 points ago

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Eating nothing but frosting since 1976

[–]AriBBCP 4 points5 points ago

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I've been eating raw cake ingredients for 16 years.

I was raised on frosting, bitch.

[–]Flute_Fly 1 point2 points ago

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i accidentally read it as laughed out toad, to which i laughed out loud

[–]Gleethor 6 points7 points ago

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LLOL

[–]technojamin 1 point2 points ago

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Anybody who didn't read this all the way through is going to think you're a heartless bastard, but I had the exact same reaction.

[–]tsondie21 564 points565 points ago

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LIKE DIS IF U CRY EVERTIM

[–]Kuusou 258 points259 points ago

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5evr

[–]mrfrostbear 164 points165 points ago

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dats more thn 4eva

[–]Reduc 80 points81 points ago

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LIKE DIS IF YOU LAF EVRTIM.

[–]S-gen 60 points61 points ago

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bbz will u luv me 4evr?

[–]donutmancuzco 69 points70 points ago

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No.

5evr

[–]TesticleToe 44 points45 points ago

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Den he takz off hur pntz. An whsprz "If u wnt me 2 cum in u 1 lst tym, dnt sai nethng."

[–]squiggothhunter 30 points31 points ago

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What the fuck am I reading?

[–]ladeb 3 points4 points ago

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Shut up.. just shut up! You had me at 'hur pntz'...

[–]prplhayes 23 points24 points ago

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frows pop trt...

[–]BloodyPancakeSyrup 8 points9 points ago

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O bbz I lab yhouuu 5evr

[–]akwardwhitekid 6 points7 points ago

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thats the 6nd time thats happened to me

[–]studflucker 1 point2 points ago*

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Is this inflationary language?

[–]victor_borge 3 points4 points ago

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Yes. A twoderful example. I hnine that I saw it so lnine after it was writeleven.

[–]Kimokik 54 points55 points ago

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She was ded.

[–]BloodyPancakeSyrup 20 points21 points ago

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O noe bbz

[–]Super_Spud 38 points39 points ago

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but den he donated his ovry's

[–]Metadragon 5 points6 points ago

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[–]T____T 2 points3 points ago

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Where did you find that and who made it?

[–]Caiity 59 points60 points ago

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My cheeks hurt from laughing

[–]brtlblayk 30 points31 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]saywee123 123 points124 points ago

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Some people have the unfortunate tendency to laugh out of their ass. We must not judge them.

[–]ply447 23 points24 points ago

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You mean i was doing it wrong this entire time?!

[–]prplhayes 6 points7 points ago

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i thought i was the only one!

[–]studflucker 2 points3 points ago

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Me too, next thing you know your gonna tell me people don't wash their legs.

[–]steinzor 7 points8 points ago

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...lmao?

[–]stationhollow 2 points3 points ago

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That is from the rape earlier.

[–]ouroborosity 28 points29 points ago

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I'm just glad no spaghetti was involved.

[–]joebro123 24 points25 points ago

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[–]FOR_SClENCE 49 points50 points ago

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I'd like to borrow that time machine you used to post a .gif from AOL in 1997.

[–]ply447 7 points8 points ago

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Well, if its for science, i don't see the harm...

[–]Is_Totally_Gellin 3 points4 points ago

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Ooh, let me know if you find Dancing Baby while you're there

[–]1badls2goat 8 points9 points ago

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Spagooter

[–]bdubaya 1 point2 points ago

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Spaghetti is the key ingredient when it comes to good copypasta

[–]aoeui-dhtns 23 points24 points ago*

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Boom, boom. Akalakalakaboom. Boom, boom. Akalakaboom boom.

[–]DrTrollMD 28 points29 points ago

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[–]101lessons 1 point2 points ago

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I still don't get it. Does that mean I'm old or just stupid?

[–]pokins 4 points5 points ago

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didn't get it at ALL, until i saw this. thank you

[–]brownboy13Delhiting your posts since 2012 6 points7 points ago

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I guess you missed this masterpiece of cinema.

[–]Somehow_Relevant 9 points10 points ago

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Such a timeless classic really. The whole movie is a beautiful metaphor directed towards the quandary that faces our contemporary caste system here in America.

[–]DrMrProfessor 20 points21 points ago

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hardest I've laughed in about 6 months, starting to do it again just thinking about it.

[–]jilsx 10 points11 points ago

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Same here, I'm ashamed I laughed that hard...

[–]Goto10 5 points6 points ago

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That picture just sets it off

[–]Crossfox17 6 points7 points ago

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Have you seen this? http://i.imgur.com/L6Wlo.jpg

[–]DrMrProfessor 2 points3 points ago

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haha classic

[–]icanhazazngrl 1 point2 points ago

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This one is way better than OP's.

"Spaghetti falls out" <--LOST IT

[–]NotActualIrony 8 points9 points ago

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You should go on and check out 4chan sometime. This is pretty routine around those parts. Fucking hilarious, man, I tell ya.

[–]corpsefireNL 1 point2 points ago

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/v/ is the new /b/ and it's much better nowadays.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

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Seriously, I wish I had a nickel for every time my girlfriend got an STD and I beat the crap out of her then she fell into a coma!

[–]demodawid 39 points40 points ago

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At least you got to walk the dinosaur each time.

[–]saywee123 14 points15 points ago

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And then you have to move to Belaire

[–]ArmyMedic[!] 63 points64 points ago

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Hilarious, and better than the original rickroll/belairs!

[–]NoncontributingPost 100 points101 points ago

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yeah

[–]saywee123 38 points39 points ago

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Damn you're good

[–]CallsOutNvltyAccnts 5 points6 points ago

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Seriously now, could you please contribute something? Did you really spend all of that time logging into your account just to say "yeah"?

[–]corpsefireNL 12 points13 points ago

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Reddit Enhancement Suite

you can swap between several accounts with just a dropdown menu.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Did someone say Reddit Enhancement Suite?

Also Amon Amarth. Upvote for you \m/

[–]orange_jooze 1 point2 points ago

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[–]bdubaya 2 points3 points ago

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It's funny because Reddit Enhancement Suite

[–]xyerohour 2 points3 points ago

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[–]NoncontributingPost 1 point2 points ago

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Louis CK

[–]n0rs 0 points1 point ago

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You should throw a few "literally laughed out loud"s in there. They seem to do wonders.

[–]trev595 19 points20 points ago

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Funniest thing I've read all night.

[–]mg440 16 points17 points ago

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Maybe I'm just simple internet folk, but I didn't see that misdirection coming at all.

[–]dragn99 14 points15 points ago

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I've seen this post at least three times before and I didn't see the misdirection coming.

[–]gennarogattuso 3 points4 points ago

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transcendental redditor

[–]kmoz 10 points11 points ago

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I love the bait and switch copypastas. Long drawn out intense story only to be thrown a fresh prince, walk the dinosaur, candlejack, or oth

[–]niggytardust2000 6 points7 points ago

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[–]LesMisIsRelevant 4 points5 points ago

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If I had a nickel for every time this was reposted, I'd have a few dollars' worth by now.

[–]WellTimedBoromir 3 points4 points ago

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Link to music video:

Was (Not Was) - Walk The Dinosaur

[–]Vexal 19 points20 points ago

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I saw on House you have to wait at least a few months before getting tested to show positive.

This is fake.

[–]szchm 17 points18 points ago

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Also, I highly doubt a couple of that many years would be having sex on such a regular basis. This story is dubious at best.

[–]NotMarkus 18 points19 points ago

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No dinosaurs allowed in the hospital.

[–]Aryada 3 points4 points ago

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My defensiveness to this comment was surprising.

[–]Mastuh 29 points30 points ago

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I don't get the dinosaur thing, please explain?

[–]inb4shitstorm 42 points43 points ago

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[–]lurklurklurkPOST 34 points35 points ago

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A Shitstorm hath preceded you. Your link goes to a removed video. (At least in America)

[–]mr_znaeb 44 points45 points ago

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[–]Semi_Chivalrous 20 points21 points ago

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The uploader has not made this video available in your country.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Chobitsu 7 points8 points ago

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[–]fighter4u 11 points12 points ago

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The uploader has not made this video available in your country.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]sirin3 8 points9 points ago

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[–]glassuser 1 point2 points ago

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You need to upgrade your Adobe Flash Player to watch this video.

[–]letsRACEturtles 1 point2 points ago

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any sex appeal those women had went out the door when they did the "dinosaur motion"... good thing i'm into reptiles

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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I've got something 100 times better. www.walkthedinosaur.com

[–]disappointedinmyself 5 points6 points ago

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I have the weirdest boner

[–]skankallnight 7 points8 points ago

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Hahahaaa! I'm glad someone finds humor in this. The votes have been going up and down... kind of like those dinosaurs....

[–]UKwildcat 2 points3 points ago

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Was not expecting that. Not one bit.

[–]pathartl 10 points11 points ago

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Anyone should remember this song. Though I thought of Super Mario Bros first.

[–]EvoEpitaph 1 point2 points ago

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I don't remember the song but I definitely remember seeing that cartoon (that's on the TV in the first minute or two) while it was still playing on TV.

Sigh...

[–]warnerrr 5 points6 points ago

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[–]StraightfromSTL 1 point2 points ago

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you of course, mean this

[–]gbCerberus 5 points6 points ago*

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[–]mp6521 7 points8 points ago

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i don't even....

[–]DollarsforDerek 3 points4 points ago*

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This.....this cannot be a real movie...can it? :0

[–]SgtJoo 3 points4 points ago

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[–]bunnysmalls 1 point2 points ago

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I still dont get it.

[–]Tier4 2 points3 points ago

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the internet is too hard for you

[–]blade2000 0 points1 point ago

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God - posts liker this make me realize how old I am and should not be on reddit! Reddit is no for the 40+ crowd. :(

[–]dugmartsch 0 points1 point ago

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[–]bigplansisay 13 points14 points ago

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The fact that people post shit like that totally anonymously is what makes that site so interesting to me.

[–]shhhhhhhhh 6 points7 points ago

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and the fact that there's so much of it, and that it's gone forever after it falls off the board's page limit, and that there's a number of other imageboards with their own unique cultures.

[–]stationhollow 2 points3 points ago

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There are a ton of 4chan archives.

[–]peynir 8 points9 points ago

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[–]GonzoVeritas 1 point2 points ago

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Why do I feel bad because I know what this is (and watched it live)?

[–]thaiqr 6 points7 points ago

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I tried to introduce my friend to Creepypasta. He starts reading at the bottom of the page and I freak the fuck out, "No, man, you're gonna fucking ruin it." He turns to me, chill as can be (he's black, dontcha know), and says "Brah. Ctfd. I use 4chan."

[–]BloodyPancakeSyrup 4 points5 points ago

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I hate when people introduce 4chan to others.

[–]rudeboyrave 1 point2 points ago

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oh so funny!

[–]EmpressK 1 point2 points ago

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The most disturbing part was how quickly my brain fell in line. Before I recognized the song my brain was singing the lines.

[–]TehDingo 1 point2 points ago

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I'd have 2 nickels.

[–]MjaG 1 point2 points ago

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NOOOOOO now i have this ridiculous song in my head stuck all fucking day, thxalot

[–]devlinfox 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like he gave her the old boom boom akalakalakaboom...

[–]Yoblad 1 point2 points ago

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My brain sung the lyrics immediately upon reading them. Well done.

[–]f03nix 1 point2 points ago

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Point 3 is where I knew this wasn't going anywhere. I mean come on ... you want me to believe a toad's having sex regularly with a girl and still isn't a god-damn prince ?? ... Right !!

[–]ojosdemapache 1 point2 points ago

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Best part: "OP what the hell is wrong with you" hahahahaha

[–]cy0x 1 point2 points ago

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lik dis if u cry evry tim

[–]Darkersun 1 point2 points ago

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Only thing worse than a 4chan post is a 4chan repost.

[–]Crossfox17 1 point2 points ago

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I feel like this needs to be posted.

http://i.imgur.com/L6Wlo.jpg

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Upvote for content, downvote for title. You broke even.

[–]IHateNicolasCage -1 points0 points ago

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Old copypasta is old

[–]kyledouglas521 0 points1 point ago

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It's gotten to the point where I know the bottom is going to be completely off topic, but I read from beginning to end anyway, knowing that it's going to be worth it.

[–]beagio 0 points1 point ago

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Being 4chan, I should have seen that coming. Still, I lol'd.

[–]palpebral 0 points1 point ago

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Tears are streaming down my face.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i cannot figure out why the hell this is so damn funny, but that response to the op was amazing.

[–]imamoonmonster 0 points1 point ago

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I also literally laughed out loud! I have nothing new to contribute, just wanted to be a part of the group. ::shrug::

[–]DaIronchef 0 points1 point ago

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God wish people didn't now I posses my v-card to post this on facebook.......

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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If i had a nickel for every time that happened to me i'd stuff a sock and go beat some street whores.

[–]jedi240 0 points1 point ago

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I DO NOT GET IT :( I know the song, I looked up the lyrics, please Internet, help me, down vote if you must :(

[–]Gramma42ton 0 points1 point ago

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How many has this happened: tl;dr, just read the punchline

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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these anti-stories make me laugh way harder than they should

[–]StarlitEyes 0 points1 point ago

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HAHahahahahhaha

[–]searingsky 0 points1 point ago

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11/05/10

[–]synt4xg3n0c1d3 0 points1 point ago

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Sometimes, just sometimes, I love 4Chan.

[–]ULTRON22 0 points1 point ago

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ROFL's all around

[–]MrNosty 0 points1 point ago

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Just wow. My Firefox browser ended at exactly "get on the floor", so first I thought this was a legitimate story and got quite engrossed in it. Only if the browser extended one more line, I wouldn't have chuckled.

[–]Pop-X- 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, you got me OP, you rascal!

Affectionately ruffles OP's hair.

[–]paranoiaman 0 points1 point ago

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Thats it, I'm never reading reddit at work ever again. After reading the last line I nearly imploded with laughter, and trying to disguise it only made it sound much, much worse

[–]becominghuman 0 points1 point ago

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THAT WAS AMAZING... where can I find more stories like that?

[–]skatiN64 0 points1 point ago

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I've never been so happy.

[–]TheAngryBlueberry 0 points1 point ago

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So, I'm a little young. What is this "wall the dinosaur" thing?

[–]screaming4metal 0 points1 point ago

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I lol'd my socks off

[–]buriednexttoyou 0 points1 point ago

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This made me feel better than James Brown.

[–]blade2000 0 points1 point ago

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4chan - I LOVE YOU!

[–]LOVERBUNS 0 points1 point ago

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id have .45 cents..

[–]Naberius 0 points1 point ago

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Elvis landed in a rock-rock-rocket ship

Healed a couple of lepers

And... and disappeared

[–]sgates92 0 points1 point ago

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"OP what the hell is wrong with you?"

[–]PlumthePancake 0 points1 point ago

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...You'd be broke.

[–]RageOfGandalf 0 points1 point ago

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I had to try hard to not laugh in the middle of history class

[–]PresidentSantos 0 points1 point ago

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BOOM BOOM ACKA LACKA LACKA BOOM

BOOM BOOM ACKA LACKA BOOM BOOM

[–]dclowd9901 0 points1 point ago

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I was kinda hoping he'd take that over to "5eva" territory.

[–]sggrant323 0 points1 point ago

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This is reposted here once a month. I laugh every fucking time.

[–]6OO6LE_Oner 0 points1 point ago

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I think this story originated on Woody's Gamertag's Mail Monday series as a joke mail but Woody read it anyway as a troll of sorts.

[–]mindyisser 0 points1 point ago

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lol

[–]flyingmx5 0 points1 point ago

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Absolutely touching

[–]SmoothWD40 0 points1 point ago

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I would just give that nickel back.

[–]charliezinz 0 points1 point ago

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Currently in class and cant stop laughing.

[–]MeDiggingMyGrave 0 points1 point ago

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Why every time I realy get into reading something from 4chan it's ALWAYS end up like this!?

[–]bongilante 0 points1 point ago

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dammit now I've laughed at domestic abuse.

[–]Herborist 0 points1 point ago

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How is that something so wrong makes me hate myself for being dumb enough to fall for it? Answer: the magic of the internet.

[–]SyluxTheDino 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god I looked like a fool laughing out loud in my class.

[–]bschef 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone explain to me why /b/ writes stories in this format? What is going on?

[–]Badger2qrd 0 points1 point ago

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[–]skyylineddrive 0 points1 point ago

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For the rest of the week, I won't be able to think of dinosaurs without laughing out loud.

[–]p3ngwin 0 points1 point ago

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ladies and gentlemen, joining Rick Astley and The Fresh Prince tonight will be Was Not Was.

[–]TylerNeb 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus Christ, I usually don't actually laugh at anything on reddit... Today, I did.