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top 200 commentsshow all 226

[–]Spysix 170 points171 points ago

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I feel sorry for the octopus. He's getting pissed on, cmon japan don't be dicks about your porn :(

[–]Locybe 190 points191 points ago

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Octopi Japan!

[–]shakeshakedown 8 points9 points ago

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This needs more attention.

[–]podjackel 5 points6 points ago

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Mean while in Japan....

[–]i_dno_do_u 0 points1 point ago*

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Meanwhile out of the sea...

[–]insomniasystems 8 points9 points ago

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Well, time to burn down the internet...

[–]heroinhero 22 points23 points ago

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Not sure if its the case here, but some dishes involving squid actually move when soy sauce is added due to sodium causing neurons to fire.

Maybe the octopus in this case is also already dead?

[–]djriley 8 points9 points ago

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I've seen this before and yes, it's definitely dead. Some kind of chemical reaction takes place when the dead octopus comes in contact sodium that makes the muscles contract. It's pretty cool IMO.

[–]faiiq 5 points6 points ago

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More like creepy.

[–]Kerfuffly 2 points3 points ago

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I think you mean that the octopus in the sodium-clip is dead, 'coz the one in the OP's gif is most definitely not dead. The involuntary muscle contractions do not let the octopus move as it appears to.

[–]djriley 0 points1 point ago

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Of course. The octopus in OP's pic is alive obviously, I was talking about the one in the soy sauce clip.

[–]ofNoImportance 2 points3 points ago

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You can very clearly tell by the way that the tentacles are moving that no, it is not dead. Sodium will only cause the muscles to fire in one direction, not making complex motions such as walking as it is clearly doing with the tentacles to the real left of the shot.

[–]djriley 1 point2 points ago

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[–]ofNoImportance 1 point2 points ago

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Exactly. Notice how neither of those "animals" is producing complex movement? Look more closely at the octopus in this video. It's not just flailing randomly. It's actually performing actions with its limbs.

[–]djriley 1 point2 points ago

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The top of its head is chopped off.

[–]ofNoImportance 2 points3 points ago

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No. No it is not. Your powers of observation fail you.

[–]djriley 1 point2 points ago

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The octopus is clearly missing the top of its head.

There's something I didn't think I'd ever say.

[–]ofNoImportance 2 points3 points ago

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It's leaning away from the camera. It doesn't have the strength to keep the thing pointing directly upwards; it slumps over. Octopuses don't have bones remember, there's nothing to keep its head sitting upright.

[–]ziegfried 0 points1 point ago

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The thing is walking -- that requires rather complex nerve coordination between tentacles.

Also, it still has the skin on. The skin protects it from sodium because, well, the sea is full of sodium.

You can't pour sodium on a dead octopus and make it walk any more than you can pour sodium on a dead person and make him walk.

[–]nulledit 2 points3 points ago

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Um, no. That 'pus is clearly still alive.

[–]LymeyBastard 0 points1 point ago

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Good explanation. I certainly hope that's the case. This would be despicable if it were alive.

[–]PFCDoofles 5 points6 points ago

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well, do be dicks about it. Don't be octopi about it.

[–]aaomalley 1 point2 points ago

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Actually, octopuses is e most correct plural of octopus, or oxtopodes if you want to be pedantic. Either way octopi is the least correct, although still technically correct.

[–]number_six 2 points3 points ago

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The BEST kind of correct!

[–]TimofeyPnin 4 points5 points ago

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No, if you want to be pedantic, write:

Actually, octopuses is e most correct plural of octopus, or oxtopodes [sic] if you want to be pedantic. Either way octopi is the least correct, although still technically correct.

[–]PFCDoofles 1 point2 points ago

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I go where firefox's spellcheck takes me.

[–]blue_ddong_gumong 0 points1 point ago

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Don't be "octopi" about it? What words is "octopi" supposed to stand for here?

[–]PFCDoofles 0 points1 point ago

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No, see.. That particular Gif of Japanese porn has entirely too few dicks and entirely too many octopi. So you would want people to be dicks about it.

[–]play3393 -3 points-2 points ago

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Octopussies?

[–]LymeyBastard 0 points1 point ago

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I am legitimately upset by this =[

Octopi are my favorites.

[–]FutureMeme2016 -5 points-4 points ago

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yeah, to be honest I've never been clear as to why people think it's perfectly okay to murder things because they taste good. And even less clear why the Japanese thinks that it's legit to pee on animals for the same of their self-pleasuring.

[–]parasitic_spin 3 points4 points ago

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I am more concerned that they will pee on it before serving it up.

[–]CitizenPremier 0 points1 point ago

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That's how they make takoyuki.

[–]MsChanandalerBong 3 points4 points ago

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I will submit that I don't think it is okay to murder things for food, and I do it anyway. I am comfortable with this.

Is my enjoyment of a hamburger worth a cow's life (or a portion of cow's life)? Apparently.

[–]Nadger02 2 points3 points ago

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Only if you pee on it first

[–]lefthandpisces -2 points-1 points ago

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I think the difference is between killing for food/sustenance in the most humane way possible (which is what i assume you are describing), as opposed to murdering animals or generally being cruel to them. Causing discomfort is a subset of the latter, which is why it irks me that they are literally peeing on that octopus.

[–]trollfessor 1 point2 points ago

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Murder things because they taste good?

Do you eat?

It is obvious that you live in a city. Spend some time in the country on a farm, it will do wonders for your perspective.

[–]guns_mahoney -3 points-2 points ago

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A recent study published by Harvard on the effects of eating meat concluded that vegetarians are faggots.

[–]seyakomo 4 points5 points ago

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+4 for an "X are faggots" post? Is reddit 4chan now, it's now okay to say this?

[–]guns_mahoney 0 points1 point ago

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What do you want me to do about it? It's science!

[–]vtsquire 0 points1 point ago

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you saw the title, right? And you still clicked? There you go.

[–]blue_ddong_gumong -4 points-3 points ago

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The Japanese are ridiculous fetishists. I really hope it wasn't real. I mean I don't think an octopus could move like that on land... right? I've eaten live octopus immediately and I don't think they have that kind of posture on out of water.

[–]cyclefreaksix 75 points76 points ago

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I think it's safe to assume they're Japanese...

[–]fman5k 27 points28 points ago

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Well some redditor is turning Japanese. I really think so.

[–]CussCuss -1 points0 points ago

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[–]dqsl 2 points3 points ago

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[–]ELzed 3 points4 points ago

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I'd give an emoticon...then I'd fuck her.

[–]Astan92 4 points5 points ago

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HOLY FUCK THOSE BOOBS

[–]SpiritZR1 3 points4 points ago

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( . Y . ) that's the emoticon that comes to mind

[–]chris-martin 1 point2 points ago

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Can't exactly tell from the neck down, but they don't look particularly Japanese to me...

[–]omfgnsfw 24 points25 points ago

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The one on the left has pixellation. I'd wager Japanese.

[–]chris-martin 32 points33 points ago

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Good point.

Also, as cyclefreaksix says, you really can't underestimate the importance of the fact that they are pissing on an octopus.

[–]donny0011 1 point2 points ago

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What is this Japanese obsession with pixel porn?

[–]Kerfuffly 3 points4 points ago

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Some legal censorship requirement.

[–]cyclefreaksix 12 points13 points ago

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I'm not going by looks. Naked chicks + octopus=Japanese porn.

[–]drakeypoo 0 points1 point ago

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Tatami mats on the floor.

[–]Matt416 39 points40 points ago

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Poor octopus.

[–]bigroblee 2 points3 points ago

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Poor wet octopus.

[–]kinda_alone 26 points27 points ago

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Kinda curious as to how OP stumbled onto this

[–]dog_dog_dog 22 points23 points ago

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I've seen it on reddit a few times before

[–]kaurnaman 17 points18 points ago

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i see it on wtf every few hours

[–]cartoonape 16 points17 points ago

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im going to see it every time i close my eyes now.

[–]WWHAAAAAT 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]Daemon_of_Mail 0 points1 point ago

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Saw this on 4chan and posted it here, then later found out that it was already posted by OP.

[–]moop64 30 points31 points ago

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It shames me to say I know where this is from. A bizarre Japanese porn site called Genki-Genki, almost entirely NSFL.

[–]Saxifrage_Russell 31 points32 points ago

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Bookmarked. Cheers.

[–]8th_Dynasty 11 points12 points ago

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Damn Japan. You crazy.

[–]fland033 3 points4 points ago

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Decided to test my nerve and went to the site where I proceeded to lose my nerve and not dare watch any of the vids for fear they would haunt me for the rest of my life.

[–]majinjohnny 4 points5 points ago

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I'm dead inside

[–]nulledit 1 point2 points ago

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"Aneros Max For men to stick up behind. Eternal shame awaits if you accidentally die or are hospitalised during use."

[–]SlurmsMackenzie92 0 points1 point ago

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I am too scared to click on that link but am curious. Will a braver man enter it's depths and describe what monstrosities lurk in its darkness?

[–]peachstarfish 1 point2 points ago

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The octopus invades the vagina and it hurts.

That was the name of one of the movies you could order....

[–]eddsworld 1 point2 points ago

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Hurts the vagina or hurts the octopus? I'd imagine it was the latter.

[–]ThrowAway34942 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think an octopus can feel pain. I suppose they're smart enough to have it hurt emotionally.

I prefer the movie "The crayfish is inserted and a cockroach blends"

[–]tireytha 10 points11 points ago

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Poor octopus!

[–]padfoot7 18 points19 points ago

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I think I clicked on this because it said "two naked chicks." I should have read the rest of that sentence.

[–]fetusxfajita 45 points46 points ago

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you guys made me ink!!

[–]melifer78 4 points5 points ago

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Upvote for the Finding Nemo quote. No matter how depraved or rediculous a situation is, a movie quote is always in order.

[–]Irongrip 24 points25 points ago

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Source? ಠ_ಠ

[–]deadmaster123 14 points15 points ago

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Just google 2 girls 1 octopus...

[–]ObeyHypnotoad 2 points3 points ago

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Seems legit...

[–]NakedPancake 20 points21 points ago

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He...... he wasn't even kidding...

[–]Harmswahy 4 points5 points ago

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I thought for sure he was kidding.....

[–]shmalo 11 points12 points ago

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THAT POOR OCTOPUS :(

[–]tylernerd 4 points5 points ago

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It's okay, this is his fetish.

[–]Drunkturtle 11 points12 points ago

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Poor octopus...

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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If it'd been a puppy or a kitten being pissed on instead of an octopus, the hive mind would be demanding a pound of flesh from the people who made this video.

No, it's an octopus so the hive mind makes jokes about it?

That's the only wtf thing about this thread.

[–]Daemon_of_Mail 3 points4 points ago

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You're taking the whole thing out of context. The octopus was about to die from dehydration, and thinking fast, its two owners squatted down and gave it a squirt to let it live a little longer until they could fill the bathtub up.

[–]ohxxsnap 3 points4 points ago

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Let's all wait for PETA's response to this...

[–]jakfischer 42 points43 points ago

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I have had enough internet for today.

[–]Mrubuto 16 points17 points ago

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you forgot the predictable link to Jerry Seinfeld.

how does this still get upvotes?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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i agree with you an unbelievable amount

[–]ObeyHypnotoad -2 points-1 points ago

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Then just UPVOTE.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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HAHA DOING IT AGAIN YOU CAN'T STOP ME

[–]scottyxD 10 points11 points ago

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Only in japan will they film two girls peeing on an octupus and blur out their vaginas.

[–]FrozenBananaStand 6 points7 points ago

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I read the entire caption. Clicked. Regretted. Too bad my words will be of no value to anyone who sees this post.

[–]toy205 11 points12 points ago

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This kills the octopus.

[–]Thorsula12 2 points3 points ago

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Alright, enough internet for today...

[–]lastresort09 2 points3 points ago

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Old... at least by a 6 months

[–]InflamedFlamingo 6 points7 points ago

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The octopus is likely dead. The salt in the urine is probably activating its nerves and causing the muscles to contract and move. How the hell do I know this? A while back in TIL someone posted a link about a dish in asia where a dead octopus is served and sodium rich soy sauce is poured over it, causing it to move. The dish is called "Dancing Octopus." Here's a video

Good god I never thought I'd be talking about this in such a light...

[–]Imissreadthings 4 points5 points ago

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Where's Good Ole Sergeant Pepper Spray when you need him?

[–]bendak 3 points4 points ago

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Congratulations, you have almost reached the end of the Internet.

[–]jessebk 5 points6 points ago

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There's some things you just can't unsee.

[–]punarvasu 1 point2 points ago

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Japan? Japan!!

[–]bassguitarking 1 point2 points ago

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rule 34

[–]Solstiare 1 point2 points ago

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Oh god, why...WHY did I click that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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:(

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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octopee

[–]vingverm 1 point2 points ago

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Wish I was an octopus =(

[–]SwollenPickle 1 point2 points ago

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i'm gonna go out on a limb here, without having seen the video, and say that these women are japanese.

[–]moontattoo 4 points5 points ago

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I think I've been on the internet too long. This is a definite repost. ): But still WTF.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Poor octopus.

[–]embalees 1 point2 points ago

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Poor octopus. :(

[–]DrRedWings 2 points3 points ago

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Wow this is just horrible. If I knew who did this I would piss on their face.

[–]cuddlepanda 3 points4 points ago

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Judging from the content of this specific post, I'd go ahead and assume they wouldn't mind.

[–]Rakarei 3 points4 points ago

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I... I just... I think I need to go outside.

[–]marvelous_molester 2 points3 points ago

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This makes me sad. I really don't give a rats ass about animal cruelty when it comes to dogs, cats, horses, but octopi are too cool and smart to be fucked with.

[–]chicarrones 20 points21 points ago

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Wow, okay, dogs, cats, and horses are awesome and cruelty against them is awful. You profoundly suck, but I'll agree with you that this is horribly cruel to the octopus.

[–]currentlydistracted 7 points8 points ago

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yea i agree, i felt bad for the octopus TBH

[–]iheartinfected 4 points5 points ago

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username noted.

[–]mongster2 1 point2 points ago

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Nope. No, you were not.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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God dammit, now this fucking exists.

[–]EskNerd 1 point2 points ago

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Humans are so fucking weird.

[–]The_Janitors_Mop 1 point2 points ago

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Well, thats enough internet for me this week. gun to head

[–]Pixelatedcow1 1 point2 points ago

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I hate PETA, but I'd love to see their reaction to this.

[–]AlexDeLarge4848 0 points1 point ago

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It's time to write my paper I guess...

[–]captainbasch420 0 points1 point ago

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i think these chicks are just getting revenge.... ill let you guys use your imagination.

[–]tekgnosis 0 points1 point ago

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ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

This is why we can't have nice things.

[–]pinkwaffles 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone please set that gif to dubstep?

[–]OrionH 0 points1 point ago

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Hentia

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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:(

[–]Thementalrapist 0 points1 point ago

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Uhh, you gone eat that?

[–]emocol 0 points1 point ago

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My boner's stranger than all of yours.

[–]likeaBAWSSSSSS 0 points1 point ago

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What the.. I don't even.. I just.. This world scares me.

[–]hayden_evans 0 points1 point ago

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Why does it always seem that the Japanese are on a vendetta against all aquatic life?

[–]jellyfishsandwhich 0 points1 point ago

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Welp. Goodnight internet. Off to scrub my eyeballs

[–]CAFoggy 0 points1 point ago

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WHAT?

[–]elmarko44 0 points1 point ago

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I may need a little extra lube but... I can probably fap to it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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this is why you sohuld always read past 'two naked chicks' and a NSFW tag before clicking a link. BRB gonna go scrub my brain raw.

[–]Cornsplosion 0 points1 point ago

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Five bucks says they're Japanese.

[–]ChaosFireV 0 points1 point ago

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And this is why parents tell their kids to never play with their food.

[–]wrxie 0 points1 point ago

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I feel horrible for that octopus.

[–]Hero17 0 points1 point ago

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Well if that fit any subreddit it was this one.

[–]colorblind252 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know what I expected..

[–]tiny_animals 0 points1 point ago

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Man, what has Reddit done to me? Instead of being appalled, I'm like 'god, how many times has this been reposted?'...

[–]opaco 0 points1 point ago

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repost of the repost of the repost...

[–]KMcCooper 0 points1 point ago

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Not okay

[–]Danez 0 points1 point ago

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I've only seen this reposted 10 times by now for jesus's cock's sake.

[–]TheJack38 0 points1 point ago

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Can I fap to this? ... Challenge accepted.

[–]GlowsticksII 0 points1 point ago

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It's true he wasn't kidding

[–]ss5gogetunks 0 points1 point ago

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This is just horrible... that poor octopus. Those are really intelligent creatures.

[–]MFchimichanga 0 points1 point ago

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ō_ō

[–]ss5gogetunks 0 points1 point ago

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What? They are intelligent creatures. They're called Cephalopods because they have the most advanced invertebrate brains, which are comparable to some of the more intelligent mammals.

[–]assistantpigkeeper 1 point2 points ago

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I have a colleague that used to work at an aquarium. They couldn't figure out why fish kept disappearing from the feeder fish tank at night. Eventually, the staff watched the surveillance footage, and found it was a large old octopus that would sneak out of his tank at night, crawl down the hall to the tank, feast, and then sneak back into his tank at night. Smart octopus.

[–]ss5gogetunks 0 points1 point ago

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I find cephalopods to be some of the most fascinating animals. And I think I've heard a similar story before. Very cool :)

[–]MFchimichanga 0 points1 point ago

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But is it the same as self awareness and sapience? Regardless it still doesn't change the fact that peeing on an octopus for some weird fetish is seriously fucked up. Seriously seriously fucked up. I thought goatse was weird but this has put it in the sesame street level. I should not have clicked in this link ō_ō damn my curiosity.

[–]ss5gogetunks 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know if they are sentient. I don't think so, but I suppose they have a chance, since elephants and dolphins, alongside many apes and monkeys, have a relatively high chance of sentience.

[–]Scrotom 0 points1 point ago

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It's revenge for all the times tentacles penetrated them in past porn vids.

[–]homestargunner 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen enough hentai...

[–]patchsonic 0 points1 point ago

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WTF IS WRONG WITH JAPANESE PR0N

[–]krypton86 0 points1 point ago

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What a dick move — minus the dicks, of course.

[–]Stumpgrinder2009 0 points1 point ago

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AAANNND I clicked it :/

[–]malliox12 0 points1 point ago

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why did i click that?!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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why the fuck are they doing that?

[–]liverpoop 0 points1 point ago

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this is posted every fucking week.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I LOVE the WTF posts that literally make me say out loud "what the fuck!?"

[–]MFchimichanga 0 points1 point ago

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WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE???

[–]mylesboyce 0 points1 point ago

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That poor stream of urine. He's always blamed for smelling fishy when it's not his fault.

[–]haeynous 0 points1 point ago

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I will never eat sushi again!

[–]TheRoboJew 0 points1 point ago

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WELLLLPPPPP, I think it's about time for me to go. Never again. Just. Never...again.

[–]DoubleHawk4Life 0 points1 point ago

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Think about this... There are people who actually fap to this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Charlie_Joe 0 points1 point ago

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Am I the only one that feels a bit sorry for the octopus :(

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What the... fu** ,':(

[–]call_me_lee 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously...WTF!!!

[–]tepppp -1 points0 points ago

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What ... I don't ... why ... fuck.

[–]worff 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen weirder shit done with octopi and other sea creatures in Japanese porn.

[–]theusualuser 0 points1 point ago

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Request an AMA?

[–]Mrubuto 0 points1 point ago

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why would anyone think your kidding?

[–]Trollmastr 0 points1 point ago

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is this what Paul the Octopus wastes his money on? or is this his leaked home made porn?

[–]WarPhalange 0 points1 point ago

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This has been reposted like a million times. I'm not even kidding.

[–]strebalicious 0 points1 point ago

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That's just going to ruin the tatami mat.

[–]blondiee_x17 0 points1 point ago

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why the fuck did i click on that...

[–]warthog15 0 points1 point ago

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.......so this is here..

[–]sanguinalis 0 points1 point ago

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I quit...

[–]Dwight22 0 points1 point ago

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Well, enough internet for a while. See you guys next month.

[–]letroller 0 points1 point ago

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This is why we can't have nice things

[–]sanguinalis 0 points1 point ago

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Interestingly enough, this syncs up perfectly with REM's "It's the End of the World As We Know It."

[–]WhereAreMyMinds 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else think OP was kidding?

[–]Hunt3r_ 0 points1 point ago

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You must be new here.

[–]knumbknuts -1 points0 points ago

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Payback for the ink the octopus squirted?

[–]Zermelo_Fraenkel -1 points0 points ago

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sauce?

[–]Dev1l5Adv0cat3 0 points1 point ago

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SAUCE!!!!

[–]Trakis -1 points0 points ago

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FFFFFFFAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP

[–]BemusedMonkey -1 points0 points ago

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Not only did I read the description and still click the link, I had to stare at it for a good minute to make sure my eyes were not deceiving me. That and spread the cheer to others.

[–]StaRkill3rZ -1 points0 points ago

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internet you never cease to amaze me

[–]goosepoop -1 points0 points ago

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This octopus is dead. I don't know the science behind it, but there was a post a while back showing this crazy phenomena.

[–]terb99 -1 points0 points ago

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i...probably should have expected what that title told me to

[–]cwavrek -1 points0 points ago

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0__0