My head exploded with rage.

coprolite_hobbyist · 9 months

This graphic originated on a satirical website (christwire, I think) and is intended as a parody. What blows my mind is that there are christians out there that present it as earnest evidence.

Edit: Since this thread is getting so much interest and I'm getting so many upvotes, I thought I had an obligation to do a little research. Turns out it probably didn't come from christwire but a different satire site, LandoverBaptist. That still doesn't mean it is the original source and that it was intended as satire, but I'm guessing it is.

man_bear_pigs · 9 months

They somehow have managed to assume that the amount of water on the earth is both constant (because they say the amount here today is the amount here at the time the earth formed) and changing (because they say it disappears when it's used by humans) at the same time.

WellHeresMyFourthAcc · 9 months

TIL that creationists don't know about the water cycle.

the_sun_god · 9 months

This reminds me of a guy I barely knew in college claiming that the planet was getting heavier due to overpopulation.

MJtheProphet · 9 months

I think we need to use very simple language to explain things to these people.

kpyle · 9 months

The water goes in, nothing comes out

You can't explain that!

salydra · 9 months

At some point when I was in high school I was thinking about the situation of water on earth, and I thought that maybe there was a pretty good chance that at some point I drank one or more molecules of water that were at some point pissed out by a pharaoh. I thought that was kinda cool. Although apparently drawing that conclusion required more brain power than the average creationist is capable of.

HermesTheMessenger · 9 months

Checkmate atheists!

Stall0ne · 9 months

Math - You are doing it wrong

IOIOOIIOIO · 9 months

If Adam drank 2 liters of water a day, when he was 900 years old his volume would be 657 cubic meters, larger than eight ISO 1AA shipping containers!

strangefolk · 9 months

The human body can destroy matter?

PracticalMedicine · 9 months

Water cycle... Y u no exist in bible?

BrainTroubles · 9 months

As a hydrogeologist, I can assure you that there are only two words needed to completely debunk, and destroy this fundamentally flawed misconception of basic chemical properties: Hydrologic Cycle...if they don't know what "hydrologic" means you can substitute it with "water cycle".

Seriously though, it's ironic that this (which I believe was a joke when it first came out) comic gets used actively by people who don't understand it.

edman007 · 9 months

They missed one thing, that actually should reverse it, humans produce water, about 300ml a day, that means if you drink 2L of water a day then 2.3L will come out of you per day, thus we should all be swimming, because 6Bn people, making 0.3L of water per day for 3Bn years, that is 1.971 * 10¹⁸ m³ of water, which should raise the sea level by ~3.8km!

[deleted] · 9 months

NUMBERS IN MY ARGUMENTS therefore SCIENCE! christian logic.

Ronnoc780 · 9 months

Oh my science! They figured out our only flaw!

Esgobarr · 9 months

Whoever drank all that saltwater is an idiot.

Webster_Has_Wit · 9 months

I don't believe this is true.

It can't be. I... I... I refuse.

It would reflect poorly on me to share the same species as these people if, in fact, they were that ignorant. Luckily they are just some trolls.

Right?

Quazz · 9 months

The ignorance, it's... it's too strong..I can't...keep.....

kdar · 9 months

Atheists think 1 + 1 = 2. But really 1 + 1 = 3. Your move, atheists.

whelp · 9 months

everyone is getting trolled

MargotteL · 9 months

This is troll science.

pseudoanon · 9 months

So, every time I take a piss, I stave off global catastrophe?

I am a hero.

misteryin · 9 months

what about rain...and what about simple reactions such as condensation?...maybe I'm just a bit irritable right now but this person is obviously trying to deface science with 2nd grade science...that's like a little kid trying to fight me...I'd kick that kid through a styrofoam wall...

EDIT I am a fucking moron...I didn't realize this was meant to be a parody...smh I apologize

wildtabeast · 9 months

I like it when christians try to use science, it is like a chimp with a computer. They just don't know what they are doing.

Kabonicus · 9 months

humans drank 9.5 times the water on earth...better drink my own piss

Syphor · 9 months

I really, really hope that this was done as a parody of some sort, but I have this nagging and rather scary suspicion it might not be.

anirbanain · 9 months

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35br3k/

tentativemonkey · 9 months

As an atheist, what I find more frustrating is the fact that fellow atheists are so ignorant as to believe as truth what parody sites are saying. I'm not saying there aren't a lot of blind religious zealots out there, but you're making me think there are just as many blind atheist zealots.

Give your fellow non-atheist human beings some credit and don't just automatically get angry about every Onion article you read.

Goonies_neversay_die · 9 months

EUREKA!

[deleted] · 9 months

Even if it made sense.. It still wouldn't make sense. I'm sorry, but that's the logic i get from this.

inikul · 9 months

The math equations as footnotes made me lose it.

whollo918 · 9 months

I feel like no matter how much faith you have, you MUST be able to come up with a rationalization for "how we could possibly still have water".

I mean, some things are just common sense, and it's disgusting that people believe not only a few things similar to this, but a lot of them.

bruiserman · 9 months

The only rebuttal you need for this: FUCKING RAIN!

[deleted] · 9 months

Guys, I just did the math. There's 1000 million tonnes of oxygen at our disposal and each year we, as humans, consume 6 million tonnes. This means the Earth was created 150 years ago, and we have only another 150 years left. We should all thank God that we were born in these times.

lostinsleeep · 9 months

So let me get this straight. This is a parody made by an atheist, put on an atheist forum by and atheist, and theists are the ones taking the blame for the stupidity of the statement?

selly34 · 9 months

soo much stupid...

theC4K3is4lie · 9 months

SO.

MUCH.

RETARD.

woofdg79 · 9 months

Atheist or not, who the heck thought humans existed ~3 billion years ago? While this may be possible elsewhere in the universe, like near Hoth or something, it certainly didn't happen here on Earth for quite a while after that.

Unless the person who made this misunderstood the reference of what the atheist meant when they said "life existed ~3 billion years ago" as humans.

Edit: wording

JakimusPrime · 9 months

Haha. They don't get they're drinking pee...aw, I made myself disgusted.

Spiderdan · 9 months

So sad. Those that believe this is real have taken satire away from us by the simple assumption that our comedy is religious fact.

Bloranyl · 9 months

Source: Wolfram Alpha - Priceless :b

bruiserman · 9 months

I like to tell my 6 year old nephew he's drinking dinosaur pee.

waffleninja · 9 months

I'm pretty sure that was made to troll atheists. You fell for it. Also repost.

Se-men · 9 months

Anyone else find it ironic that this info-graphic cites wolfram alpha?

[deleted] · 9 months

Source 1: "WOLFRAMALPHA.COM"

loyalone · 9 months

That's so cute. Clearly, the biology of plants and animals, as well as the cycle of water on this planet are not taught in "God's" schools.

SevenNationArmy · 9 months

I guess Christians have yet to hear about the water cycle.

elisa_fdm · 9 months

This is a repost from a Landover Baptist Church page. Always amusing though.

tkrex · 9 months

I opened a lot of tabs, forgot what this one was, saw the water drop, assumed it was Drupal.

Jakeman52 · 9 months

THE FUCKING WATER CYCLE

Oakley-Guy15 · 9 months

Has anyone told these people that it rains?

d_saintsation_b · 9 months

Cause we don't pee or anything, we just retain all that water

Beatneat · 9 months

Lmfao, this was a trolling picture, looks like it worked too, everyone's getting mad

fruxzak · 9 months

hydrological cycle FTW

Moxie1 · 9 months

I guess the carbon cycle would really grind their gears, eh?

Psychonik3 · 9 months

Apparently there is no such thing as "the circle of water" and we drink from the oceans... SCIENCE!

Kill5witcH · 9 months

haha I could have endless amount of fun on this forum!

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=716938#post716938

Tier4 · 9 months

TIL Christians don't pee

Lanrefni · 9 months

My favorite part was actually going to the sight and reading some of the other comments by theists. Some people are truly, TRULY, absurd.

aeyuth · 9 months

he never pees.

[deleted] · 9 months

Trolls^Trolls

Cristal1337 · 9 months

Warning: Long post and wondering if everything said is correct (feel free to correct or add).

Some people don't seem to understand science (Or the scientific approach). Science is about disproving a hypothesis. It is a method to erase all possible mistakes in order to get closer to truth. That is why people try to even disprove well founded scientific findings (e.g. nothing is faster than the speed of light).

Science really doesn't answer questions. Science doesn't prove. Science isn't a person. Science is a tool to broaden your horizon. People try to use science to question everything. People use the scientific method for a reason. This reason you'll discover after reading into "Theory of Knowledge" and "Philosophy of science".

Scientist: "Nothing is faster than the speed of light!" and fires a proton at CERN.

Scientist: "Nothing is faster than the speed of light!" and fires a neutrino at CERN.

Scientist has a nervous breakdown: "OMG WHAT DID I JUST WITNESS? God forgive, Einstein was wrong!"

Scientist edits Einstein's theory: "Nothing is faster than the speed of a neutrino!".

sappercon · 9 months

This has to be a troll. You can't even be mad at this, just shake your head.

KrissAmakaze · 9 months

Water cycle bitches!

Grammaton123 · 9 months

Christians don't pee.

Ecclesiarch · 9 months

Obviously someone has never taken a piss.

c_megalodon · 9 months

By this logic, all the animals we've ever ate should be extinct as well.

Hazlzz · 9 months

Simply put...

wwwhistler · 9 months

as Bill Engval would say " Here's Your Sign"

ellajacobsen · 9 months

I showed this to my boyfriend who's a hydrologist... He didn't think it was funny.

tiyx · 9 months

Ok I am bad at chemistry and what not, but water is never really used, it is returned back to the planet. Also did they calculate all the water that is retained in plants and other animals as well ? Among what I have stated the rest of the comment really sum it all up.

aazarkan · 9 months

I feel dumber for reading that...

Azaryah · 9 months

As a christian, this hurts me

Mighty_Hare · 9 months

I hate the 'let's be generous to the athiests'

max2grand · 9 months

Everyone willing to sign a petition for a second flood, raise your hand.

NervousMcStabby · 9 months

Beyond the logical fallacies, what exactly are they trying to prove? That god recycles water for us?

Tyler2191 · 9 months

Most water is recycled at this point whether through man or nature (evaporation). Argument not entirely valid.

calebgamb · 9 months

Hah, christians using science.

Akronite14 · 9 months

WHY DOES SATIRE KEEP GETTING VOTED TO THE TOP?!?!?!?!?!?!?

This is getting pathetic people.

tushay · 9 months

I can prove you wrong atheist derpidy derp herp jerp herp derp 9.5 times the water on earth herp derp.

Hold on I need to go pee... oh shit!

catfacem3n · 9 months

I can't help but believe. Because of this, there must be a god, specifically Yahweh!

MoriahT · 9 months

"It's called the water cycle, and it happens all the time..." Oh, wait! I forgot that while most elementary schoolers learned this song in like 2nd grade, you were busy buring your nose in your Bible while the priest was buring something of his in you! Fucking lunatics!

DogWhisperer · 9 months

you can't fix stupid

Akraz · 9 months

TIL 7 billion people lived on earth for 3 billion years and has not expanded since

I_CATS · 9 months

The joke is on us, as when we get rid of religion one day, all these idiots will also be atheists. They are not going to get any smarter, you know, so there goes our superiority.

Aavagadrro · 9 months

I think perhaps I will post this to my FB and see how many likes it gets from the fundies.

spdeuce · 9 months

So much for that water cycle eh?

[deleted] · 9 months

Hey! I use wolfram alpha too for all of my mathematical needs.

ChrisSimp · 9 months

Counter arguement, facepalm!

Rigurun · 9 months

Science! twitch

zagreus9 · 9 months

Dr Insano strikes again....

Neilio_Knarf · 9 months

It's sixth grade science! Seeing stuff like this actually just enrages me.

phrank12 · 9 months

In addition to the negligence of the water cycle, did anyone else notice the premise that the earth originated with it's present day human population 3 billion years ago?

StockAL3Xj · 9 months

this kinda pisses me off, but its kinda funny at the same time...

HeDoesntAfraid · 9 months

Wasnt this made as a joke?

Aerodozz · 9 months

If you really raged at this, it was a successful troll.

akshayxyz · 9 months

If I were an atheist 'on a mission', I would make 1000s of such 'facts', pretending to be coming from a theist.

latigre · 9 months

I thought atheism was about rational, logical thought. Your beliefs about theists are clearly skewed by your beliefes about the nonexistence of a Supreme Being. Any logical person could not contest that this argument defending the "young earth" theory is purported by any but the most extreme and dim witted theists. Presenting this as a representative sample of arguments by theists against atheism is analogous to theists presenting the atheist that happens to be a murderer as the prime example of atheism.

AvatarJack · 9 months

I learned about the water cycle in second grade....

bananaskates · 9 months

Please don't forget, kids: Christwire is NOT funny.

ArrowHound · 9 months

howww.....

smokes_degrass · 9 months

because there were always 6 billion humans on the planet using 2 liters per day, amirite?

tattooLand · 9 months

because peeing is a sin?

Hambeggar · 9 months

I read this, became infuriated. People don't really believe this, right, right ?! Just has to be some attempt at trolling.

guardiandevil · 9 months

TIL religious people don't pee.


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