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all 45 comments

[–]Vanderkill9 10 points11 points ago

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Don't you know i get all gassy and bloated with a foamy latte?

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Midway through the gory birthing scene full of blood and needles through the sternum the little girl in the row behind me gets up.

And barfs.

[–]ssavage[S] 17 points18 points ago

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I've never seen the movie but the commercial was on and my sister has read all the books. She told me that the girl that gets pregnant by the vampire has a baby and the werewolf that liked the girl ends up liking the baby. Sounds like the werewolf is the pedobear.

[–]secretvictory 5 points6 points ago

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WAT?

[–]Shorties 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah I had a coworker explain it to me once. Like vampires have two extra chromosomes or something, and werwolves have one, so because the vampire had a baby with a human, the baby is half her and half him meaning it only has one extra chromosome or something. Thus the baby is born a werewolf and the other werewolf guy falls in love with it. (This could be completely wrong someone correct me who has actually read the books)

[–]SarahGracie 7 points8 points ago

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the baby isn't a werewolf (and technically there aren't werewolves in twilight, they're more like animagi from HP.. but I digress), but when these "werewolves" "imprint" on another person, it's like falling into some sort of love. Nothing to do with chromosomes, just spiritual I guess

PS-Don't try to make sense of it, it's completely mental

[–]Shorties 0 points1 point ago*

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Yeah I definitely agree the series makes no sense to me, and I really don't ever want it to. Though I did find this page about the Chromosomes on the Twilight Wiki (Ugh I need to clear my internet history now). http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Reproduction

And here is imprinting in case anyone is curious: http://twilightsaga.wikia.com/wiki/Imprinting

[–]SarahGracie 6 points7 points ago

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oh wow, I stand corrected... I respect you for looking that up

(twilight is still just some woman's poorly written wet dream)

[–]secretvictory 11 points12 points ago

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[–]lady_lady_LADY 6 points7 points ago

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Here's how it works as explained by Vincent Price.

[–]Shorties 3 points4 points ago

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This is amazing, I must see this movie.

[–]lady_lady_LADY 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't it great? It's a really fun cheesy movie.

There is actually a part in that film where a priest is trying to coax thee truth out of this child (that his father is a vampire) and the child says something like "I shouldn't talk to strangers" and the priest laughs and says "Oh-ho I'm not a stranger; would you like a caramel?"

Also rad musical numbers and strippers who strip their skin off. (silhouetted, but still funny/cheesy.)

[–]ronintetsuro 1 point2 points ago

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Lazy writing ahoy! (the script, not you)

[–]SarahGracie 1 point2 points ago

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I went with my friend to see this movie. I have seen all of them at their midnight premiere, but this movie was just terrible. I can see the appeal of the first 3 maybe, but with this one I felt like the producers sat down and said, "Now how can we make one minute feel like five minutes?" People in my theatre actually laughed at the storyline and acting :/ It was brutal

[–]Spastik_Monkey 1 point2 points ago

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I had vowed to never see these trashy movies, but a girl I am seeing really wanted to see it, so I sucked it up and bought tickets. I never laughed so hard in my life at a movie that wasn't a comedy. The entire theater laughed for a good chunk. I obviously was having too good of a time though, because a guy in a row in front of me told me to shut up after i snort laughed from my date exclaiming "Wow, she is not very pretty at all, she looks horrible!"

[–]SarahGracie 2 points3 points ago

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At first, people were just kind of snickering quietly like, "is it okay if we laugh at this?", but after the first 20 minutes, the whole theatre was laughing at the bad jokes, bad filming and the moments of seriousness hahah

[–]Azhrei -1 points0 points ago

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I hate people who talk at the cinema. Even for bad movies.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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You're missing out :)

[–]Azhrei -1 points0 points ago

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"...you're going to burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater." - Shepherd Book

Laughing at a bad movie is great fun, but not in the goddamned cinema. I freaking hate people who loudly talk and laugh obnoxiously. You're enjoying yourself? Great! Now let other people enjoy it in their way, too!

[–]masturbatingzombie 0 points1 point ago

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lol

[–]jace10 1 point2 points ago

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Ok, my girlfriend didn't ask me to see any of the other ones with her, but she said this one looked really good so she caught me up on the plot and I saw the newest movie last night. ITS NOT THAT BAD. I don't expect everyone to like it but that applies to literally anything. We make fun of people who post on fb about how pathetic they think people obsessed with skyrim are, but we do the same thing with twilight and twilight fans.

I did laugh at some parts of it (that weren't meant to be funny) but on the whole I could think of movies and series that are much, much worse.

[–]zxcv73 4 points5 points ago

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I've seen all of them with my GF. I have also hated all of them. The first one I literally wanted to pull my eyes out. I agree though, this new one wasn't bad. It was actually watchable. Especially the fucked up end part with the corpse sex. I was actually pretty grossed out.

[–]secretvictory 11 points12 points ago

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wat

[–]Shorties 0 points1 point ago

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Did they do the abortion scene that is in the book?, I remember someone telling me about that, and I was just so confused how they were advertising these movies for tweens.

[–]SarahGracie 1 point2 points ago

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the baby lives

[–]Shorties 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, but they attempt an abortion don't they?

[–]SarahGracie 2 points3 points ago

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no. they have to cut the baby out of her because it is killing her from the inside out, but the whole point of her keeping it for so long was so she could let it live

[–]ronintetsuro 3 points4 points ago

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This movie is for tweens. WTF kind of message...

[–]MrKrazybones -1 points0 points ago

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MTV is for teens, have you seen what they put on there lately?

[–]Shorties 0 points1 point ago

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Ahhh ok.

[–]SarahGracie 2 points3 points ago

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haha it's okay, you don't have to say "ahh ok" like it makes sense. This movie was gross

[–]explodingplant 0 points1 point ago

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I read the first 3. I had to put the fourth one down after the girl gets married and knocked up right out of high school. The romance no longer was in worth it in relation to the first draft Mary Sue writing, the creepy morals/motivations, and the terrible terrible plot. I still think there's merit in the bad reactions to Twilight. If you look at the plot and the attitudes of the characters, it's kind of gross and demeaning. Relevant 1 Relevant 2

I will say that the movies aren't as shameful as the books. Melissa Rosenberg writes the screen adaptations does an amazing job at polishing a turd. For examps--in the third movie Bella gives a speech about how she's choosing the vampire world because it's where she truly belongs and she never fit in the human world. Her motivation for wanting to die so soon in her life in the books? The older she gets from 18 the less attractive she feels. FO REALS.

[–]SarahGracie 0 points1 point ago

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I couldn't disagree with your second paragraph more. The movies are terrible. I have seen them all, at midnight, and have read all of the books. First one- awful, terrible acting. Second- Better, but the animation and acting were still really bad. Third- Best yet! (but that's not really saying much, is it?) Fourth, part one- Worst one yet. Made a few chapters into an entire movie. Waste of time and money, imo. Every scene seemed to linger on for a bit too long, and each shot seemed to stay on the character for a ridiculous amount of time. The books, you could say, were not that great either; however, there aren't as many things on which to critique a book. Actors, CGI, and dialogue don't really effect the book. I'm not defending Twilight and saying it's the best book series EVAR, but it definitely isn't the worst.

[–]explodingplant 0 points1 point ago*

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We must agree to disagree. You thought the second one was better than the first?! :O I was amazed that director Catherine Hardwicke managed to do anything mildly respectable and I walked out of the first Twilight movie going "Wow, that wasn't the disaster I was expecting." Given the material, I thought the direction and adaption were great. It was sort of a moody, weird little piece rather than being a teeny bopper gush-a-palooza. And Bella always seems a lot stronger in the movies than the books, but maybe that's because we don't have to hear her inner monologue. The biggest fail of the first movie was the sparkles scene and its dialogue, and well Stephanie Mayer insisted it stay in there. The second one I watched downloaded and I watched about 10 minutes of it. A ladyboner from Robert Pattinson is not enough to sit through that turd. Given, the second book is pretty pathetic in general with the lack of sexual tension (only reason to read the books) and Bella's cutting-herself-danger attempts and comatose losery. There is a lot to critique in books. Ever notice that Edward's eyes are described as 'unfathomable' like 18 times? But what I like most about the movies is they do their best to stray away from Bella's weakness. Bella basically has no identity outside 1) clumsy 2) Edward.

Edit: Oh yeah, and they fired the director Catherine Hardwicke because when they saw it made money they wanted to squeeze as much money as fast as they could. Hardwicke wanted to take more time with it and actually try to do it right, so they chucked her out. I think that's half the reason the quality plummeted but also in general the story, I mean most people admit Breaking Dawn sucked. I skimmed it in case there was a sex scene--nope. It was like the Harry Potter epilogue but 400 pages and without 7 awesome books preceding it anyways.

[–]SarahGracie 0 points1 point ago

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there were several sex scenes in Breaking Dawn. I will not argue with you on your opinion of these movies, in fact, I don't have to because the public has made that decision for me: it's terrible. Books, movies, fan-fic- all terrible, whiny, "teeny bopper gush-a-palooza".

also, please don't even try to compare this to Harry Potter, it's insulting to JK Rowling.. heh

[–]explodingplant 0 points1 point ago

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Were there? I only remember the *** eclipse over the wedding night. I flipped around the book and googled it but only found websites like 'No sex scene??!!!?' Vampire sex scene? I think I looked for that but didn't find it either. I felt like I deserved some pay off for reading up to that point.

Also, I think fanfiction is awesome. It's just like porn, nothing wrong with porn. Although the Mary Sues and some of the submissive fics are questionable, and that's basically what most of Twilight is.

[–]SarahGracie 1 point2 points ago

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After she became a vampire, they fucked for like a week straight..

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What is it ?

[–]Torus2112 0 points1 point ago

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I caught the trailer when it came out; and honestly? What the fuck. If you described the plot to me without saying what it was I would be too scared to watch it; not in a good way, in a way that comes from me thinking it is plain disgusting.

[–]superbum42 0 points1 point ago

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Okay so I'm one of the Twilight BF's suckered in to seeing the movie and reaped the benefits afterwards. That aside, I can see why it's a good movie for it's audience. Because a previous reddit about Robert Pattinson's opinion of the series, I viewed this latest movie in a different light. Twilight is nothing new. It's popular with women the same reason romance novels are popular. As males, we cannot identify with many of the characters because they are unrealistic and transparent projections of Stephanie Meyers personality or what she fantasizes men to act like. However I can't look down on someone for liking these books. It's no different than men reading "manly novels" that may be difficult for females to appreciate. Are the books in my taste? No. But to be fair, I know there are many fictional female characters written in stories/graphic novels aimed at men that many real life women would find humorous or difficult to appreciate.