A few years ago at our Air Traffic Centre we received warning that an undisclosed number of US Air Force B2 Bombers would be crossing our FIR [Flight Information Region] at a particular time on a particular day. They would check in with us as they entered our airspace and check out again as they left. They gave us the callsign to expect, and the route was known, so it was logical to assume that they would contact us at a certain time at a certain place. The callsign and reporting points have been changed to protect the innocent. Being the then famous new 'Stealth' bombers we would know little about it but they would pay us the courtesy of letting us know they were there. Eric, a very capable controller with a keen sense of humour was on position, and heard, "UAE Area, this is USAFB2. This is a courtesy call advising that we are about to enter your airspace." Eric replied, "USAFB2, welcome to UAE Airspace, we have you on radar 200 miles out over LOTUS, hope you enjoy your visit." Without thinking the Stealth Bomber replied, "Thank you UAE, it a pleasure to be... Wait - you got us on Radar? 200 miles out? You shittin' me?" "That's affirmative USAFB2," said Eric, "I'm shittin' you. Enjoy your visit." They laughed together and the Stealth Bomber passed overhead. At the same time a small cesna plane reported in indicating they were 200 miles out over LOTUS. The aircraft controller suddenly in a panick advised the stealth bomber who indicated they could see a small cesna aircraft several feet below them.

On the cesna the two pilots were enjoying a large amount of liquor when the co-pilot looked out and said, do you see that? It’s a huge fucking pyramid streaking across the sky. Afraid for their lives and an alien invasion they began doing tactical maneuvers to avoid being detected by the stealth bomber however they misjudged their altitude and due to mechanical failure started a steep descent in a spiral trajectory.

The bomber at this point radioed to the tower to indicate the cesna seemed to be experiencing some problems. The dispatcher began contacting the Cesna advising of their situation but all he could get out of them was DO A BARREL ROLL JOHNNY! Shoot me down, if you can screamed the pilot, say your prayers Andross.

Meanwhile on the ground 2 guys were having beers on their old truck down a dirt road. One looked up and said, hey, you see that airplane up there? I think it’s doing barell rolls. Really replied the other man? Looks like it’s spazzing out to me. They chuckled and looked beside the cesna and noticed what looks like a pyramid flying across the sky. Johnny who’d been drinking vodka looked down at his drink and wondered if someone put some LSD in there and took another drink. Nope. Pretty sure it’s not LSD he thought. Both men looked at eachother wondering what could be happening up there….

Stay tuned for part 2.