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top 200 commentsshow all 389

[–]battlemetal 779 points780 points ago

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That's nothing to do with the internet. Your grandad would have thought the same thing if he had heard it back in the old 1900's.

[–]Trypanosoma 429 points430 points ago

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My thoughts exactly - I had to read this like 3 times to get my mind out of the gutter...

[–]Alucard_draculA 288 points289 points ago

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I still can't figure out what else she was talking about.

[–]dragon824 273 points274 points ago

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Penis.

[–]loafula 66 points67 points ago

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Getting sex from a penis.

[–]WeekendRager 38 points39 points ago

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Snow-penis

[–]12_Baconed_Narwhals 4 points5 points ago

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[–]virtyy 1 point2 points ago

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it only clicked just now, thank you

[–]sleepwithafryingpan 47 points48 points ago

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new version of duck duck goose? snow....snow....PENIS!!!

[–]GooglesYourUsername 130 points131 points ago

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[–]foreverchamone 38 points39 points ago

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Do me! Do me!

please...some one do me...

[–]GonnaStickItInYou 82 points83 points ago

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Hold still.

[–]GooglesYourUsername 174 points175 points ago

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[–]cupid-stunt 26 points27 points ago

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This is the best picture I've seen you post yet.

[–]GooglesYourUsername 35 points36 points ago

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[–]porh 4 points5 points ago

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I'm still waiting for my turn

[–]Shabutie91 1 point2 points ago

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im scared what mine is....

[–]freeballer 15 points16 points ago

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[–]GooglesYourUsername 22 points23 points ago

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[–]MisterSquidz 13 points14 points ago

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I think I just blue myself.

[–]callipygian_idealist 5 points6 points ago

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This might be the most disturbing image I have ever seen.

[–]rhymeswithgrack 8 points9 points ago

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That's like the essence of reddit.

[–]shadowfreak 1 point2 points ago

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and boobs

[–]tokomini 3 points4 points ago

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That was a split-second shock to the system, followed by an 'aww', then finally an 'alright now get the fuck out of there an find a fucking pillow or something.'

[–]ChiperSoft 82 points83 points ago

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Snow

[–]Iamsanta 4 points5 points ago

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HO! HO! HO! We have a winner!

[–]between0and1 3 points4 points ago

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santa, get your penis outta there!

[–]PurpleSfinx 1 point2 points ago

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As an Australian, thankyou, as I never would have figured this out.

[–]honkytonks 8 points9 points ago

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the joke is she had a grammatical error with "flys" instead of "flies".

[–]jmsprintz 5 points6 points ago

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Yeah, I actually can't think of any other meaning that this could have.

[–]cloudgirl8 7 points8 points ago

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snow

[–]raffytraffy 21 points22 points ago

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snowpenis

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Hearnsb 3 points4 points ago

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Snowman penis

[–]ReynbowHomo 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, I seriously have no idea what she's actually trying to say

[–]iWantedToKnowThat 1 point2 points ago

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She's trying to say that she got ten inches of snow last night and her boy friend had to plow her car out of her driveway and for her parents to have a safe flight.

[–]not_zbygniew 1 point2 points ago

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The ancient Bemba tribe, who inhabit a region not far from the Ngonye Falls, had a ritual of some import. Every full moon they celebrated the moon goddess Kalime, whom they believed to be estrous during this three day festival. Th remarkable celebration featured heroic feats of strength and elaborate dancing. It is from this ancient festival that the name of the medical condition known as hyperkalemia is derived.

[–]phishingeagle 2 points3 points ago

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I am actually Bemba and I used to be told stories similar to what you are stateing

[–]acey365 16 points17 points ago

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My mid is still well and truly wedged in the gutter. I just can't see the innoccence

[–]thaspaam 28 points29 points ago

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She's talking about snow. Oh wait, snow is white, cum is white. Back in the gutter I go.

[–]tsujiku 10 points11 points ago

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So, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was supposed to be about midget bukkake?

[–]thaspaam 6 points7 points ago

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My mind will need a fucking spaceship to get out of the gutter now.

[–]wmurray003 5 points6 points ago

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Maybe it's not us, maybe she is the one who is ruined. I mean she can't even write a normal fb comment without adding words that make you think of innuendos.

[–]tswurve 8 points9 points ago

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Back in my day we would plow all night, no matter how many inches we had. Whole family'd be up plowing 'fore sunrise. Yes sir, those were the good old days. Made us tough.

[–]between0and1 5 points6 points ago

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barefoot, uphill, both ways. the family that plows together...

[–]servohahn 7 points8 points ago

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Seriously. They used to use corporal punishment in schools. I'm sure she would have gotten hit with a ruler for spelling "flies" like that.

[–]Well_Spoken_Token 17 points18 points ago

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You just grandparent sex inceptioned me.

[–]daskrip 1 point2 points ago

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explain?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah, I'm getting a little tired of "the internet has ruined me" referring to overtly sexual things.

[–]boomfarmer 5 points6 points ago

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To be fair, my grandad would've been wondering why your boyfriend was plowing at 2 am as well - you can't see where you've plowed when it's that dark.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Unless you live in a place with outdoor lighting.

[–]boomfarmer 2 points3 points ago

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Who lights their entire field?

[–]Coren14 1 point2 points ago

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Or a full moon.

[–]explodingzebras 1 point2 points ago

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or have lights on your tractor?

[–]HeadBoy 1 point2 points ago

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What? All these comments and not one about the ability to fly in the 1900s? Maybe I'm imagining too early, or maybe "flys" just throws everyone off

[–]Anomander 292 points293 points ago

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It took me a while to realize she was referring to snow.

[–]abledanger 81 points82 points ago

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She's not. It's just a non sequitur.

[–]the_lawyer 239 points240 points ago

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She's a non squirter?

[–]Bored_At_Night 37 points38 points ago

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She just lost points.

[–]leder2hozen 5 points6 points ago

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You have to make it in the hole to score points. ...

But since this is golf, she actually lost points.

[–]unrequested_advice 30 points31 points ago

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If you want to make a girl squirt, try using your fingers to stimulate the G-Spot. Remember, it helps if she's relaxed!

[–]jails 15 points16 points ago

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It's nice that the unrequested advice can still be good advice.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Is that your advice?

[–]punarvasu 10 points11 points ago

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I really thought she wrote "me" instead of "it"

[–]realgenius 1 point2 points ago

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It means the same thing in street parlance.

[–]logifal 7 points8 points ago

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OHHHHHHHHHHHHH, it's snow

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Thank you.

[–]kadmylos 1 point2 points ago

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Had to read this comment to realize she was referring to snow.

[–]takatori 1 point2 points ago

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OOOOOOOOooohhhhh. Now I see the double entendre.

[–]iRideDragons 0 points1 point ago

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Snow's White

[–]sledgehammer7 274 points275 points ago

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The Internet has not ruined you. This chick just has just had a massive Tobias Fünke moment.

[–]BlackestNight21 106 points107 points ago

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Oh Tobias, you blow hard!

[–]timmy2000 61 points62 points ago

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Oh I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth.

[–]imasunbear 31 points32 points ago

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You sir, are a mouthfull!

[–]ecmmyers 17 points18 points ago

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Nope, still sounds fine to me.

[–]a_starfish 6 points7 points ago

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Right, I forgot, here in the states you call it a sausage in the mouth

[–]luciferin 1 point2 points ago

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We just call it a sausage.

[–]Lafali 34 points35 points ago

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I just blue myself!

[–]pseudopseudonym 10 points11 points ago

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There's gotta be a better way to say that...

[–]jjkoletar 11 points12 points ago

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You sir, are a mouthful!

[–]sledgehammer7 16 points17 points ago

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I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run if you will, so I'm afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.

[–]ScottCarmichael 2 points3 points ago

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There is so much wrong in that sentence. Have you ever considered recording what you say in any given day?

[–]sledgehammer7 5 points6 points ago

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Michael, you really are quite the cupid. You can zink your arrow into my buttocks any time

[–]revolverzanbolt 1 point2 points ago

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I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.

[–]sledgehammer7 1 point2 points ago

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Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up!

[–]MacCampbell 110 points111 points ago

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Yeah, that was unintentional. For sure.

[–]thatwasntveryraven 65 points66 points ago

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THE COMMENT ABOVE MINE WAS NOT SARCASTIC!

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]callipygian_idealist 17 points18 points ago

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THE COMMENT BELOW MINE WILL PROBABLY BE SARCASTIC!

[–]evan_ktbd 26 points27 points ago

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"Yeah right!" declared Oedipus.

[–]Snifit 31 points32 points ago

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That motherfucker.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Nice try, Samuel L Jackson.

[–]daskrip 9 points10 points ago

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"To the left" declared Beyonce.

[–]benc1213 15 points16 points ago

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Upvoted just for the user name.

[–]HappyAssassin 1 point2 points ago

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Haha, that's so Ra-...oh.

[–]dvdov 1 point2 points ago

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It was also definitely actually posted by a real person.

[–]Nerdluv 35 points36 points ago

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Sex is like snow, you never know how long its going to last or how much you are going to get.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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And you can pee your name into it.

[–]callipygian_idealist 31 points32 points ago

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Your girlfriend is a lucky woman.

[–]nox_fox 14 points15 points ago

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And it's best when it's a surprise

[–]callipygian_idealist 6 points7 points ago

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Rohypnol's new marketing catch-phrase.

[–]JackassPenguinass 1 point2 points ago

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Surprise butt sex?

[–]lwoodpdowd 1 point2 points ago

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put on your galoshes before you get in it if you stuff it in the freezer to save it for the freezer it will wind up all crunchy if it's yellow, don't eat it

[–]IkananXIII 1 point2 points ago

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Now if only they canceled school for sex days.

[–]realgenius 1 point2 points ago

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Penis is like snow,

FTFY.

[–]IAMAnarrogantbastard 14 points15 points ago

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As a Californian, I had to read the comments section to even think of snow. You can't plow rain very easily..

[–]CaptainTurtle 17 points18 points ago

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Challenge accepted

[–]JackassPenguinass 1 point2 points ago

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You go, bro. Plow Rain all night.

[–]CaptainTurtle 2 points3 points ago

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Am I doing it right?

[–]phasers_to_stun 31 points32 points ago

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That was intentional man

[–]Bored_At_Night 9 points10 points ago

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It had to be. She's way too hot to have never had a boyfriend plowing it at 2 AM or to never have woken up to 10 inches.

[–]Entity420 9 points10 points ago

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Come on...Really? You can't see any part of her face, and her body is about 6 pixels. But you can tell she's super hot?

[–]Magrippinho 22 points23 points ago

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That's just how the brain works, and why a silhouette of a girl will always be more attractive than the girl itself.

Humans default to filling the gaps with hot stuff!

[–]getthefuckoutofhere 2 points3 points ago

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so i guess you look at that one illusion and say "what old lady? i only see a hot young girl"

[–]realgenius 1 point2 points ago

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Turn out the lights, it's all the same.

[–]JackassPenguinass 1 point2 points ago

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The internet has ruined me: "Humans (males) default to filling gaps with hot stuff!" - you pervert!

[–]Bored_At_Night 5 points6 points ago

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Both her bust and the relative size of her body are evident in that picture. You may just have bad vision. In either case, I'm not judging her on her complexion.

[–]InterpolatedTime 13 points14 points ago

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My father is a snowplow driver. I'm use to the surprised looks when I tell people my father was up all night plowing.

[–]kaoticrequiem 11 points12 points ago

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The part that I actually notice is the misspelling of "flies".

[–]MyPetRockDied 8 points9 points ago

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I had to read that 3 times before I got it. I could not think of how that could mean anything other then sex.

[–]Nuplex 9 points10 points ago

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The internet hasn't ruined you. Anyone older than 12 would be like "HUUUUGGGGGUUUUUHHHH????!!!?!??!"

[–]anexanhume 6 points7 points ago

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When there's that much you usually can't get in the back door and have to go around front.

[–]callipygian_idealist 12 points13 points ago

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Tell that to Sasha Grey.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Says the callipygian idealist.

[–]wascurious 1 point2 points ago

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You can find her in an elementary school classroom

[–]Dawsoncy 11 points12 points ago

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Apparently it wasn't from her boyfriend because she would have known what to expect

[–]gistak 3 points4 points ago

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I thought you meant that the Internet ruined you, because instead of thinking about all the sex, you were thinking about how she misspelled "flies."

But that's not the Internet. That's Reddit.

[–]DanielKlavitz 7 points8 points ago

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Not only is this joke ancient but it has been on Reddit before. This exact image has even been posted previously.

[–]waterdevil19 26 points27 points ago

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Reposts like this have ruined Reddit.

[–]Flopsey 21 points22 points ago

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If you wait long enough reposts are new again

[–]saintdog 2 points3 points ago

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Like when you leave dirty laundry long enough and it becomes clean again. Er. No. Not that that happens.

[–]TheWeirdestThing 28 points29 points ago

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Comments like this have ruined reposts.

[–]apocalyptic -1 points0 points ago

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I'm sure your comment is a repost too.

[–]Nerdlinger 2 points3 points ago

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Same here. I am just so damn sick of hearing people complaining about the weather.

[–]moneyor2 2 points3 points ago

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I mean, it still could have meant what you think it means.

[–]kitkatkate13 2 points3 points ago

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this was likely intentional, or she's very oblivious. She also needs to learn how to spell "flies."

[–]SubwayFugitive 14 points15 points ago

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That's what she said?

[–]EkriirkE 1 point2 points ago

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Well... yeah.

[–]xteve 3 points4 points ago

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The internet alerted you to the existence of innuendo?

[–]tylerdurden77 1 point2 points ago

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mmmmmmmmm a 2am plowing...

[–]Deluxx00 1 point2 points ago

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That's bullshit.. that was 100% on purpose... right?

[–]DHumefan 1 point2 points ago

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Was she talking about snow, or a penis?

[–]callipygian_idealist 2 points3 points ago

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Yes

[–]DHumefan 1 point2 points ago

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Just being sarcastic, didn't work out on text.

[–]callipygian_idealist 2 points3 points ago

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If someone doesn't get your joke, fuck 'em.

[–]sandwerm 1 point2 points ago

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Definitely just stared at that for a full 5 minutes before realizing she was talking about snow...

[–]MetalGuitarist 1 point2 points ago

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I know! Flies* dumb bitch.

[–]IWatchWormsHaveSex 1 point2 points ago

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Wait... she's talking about snow? No way.

[–]wandabee 1 point2 points ago

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I was thinking to myself: "Holy shit, that's a raunchy facebook status... And then mentioning her family?? What the actual fuck." Then, I realized that I was just as much of a dirty pervert as anyone. Awesome :P

[–]TempusSpatium 1 point2 points ago

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Hey! Phrasing!

[–]rwingvr6 1 point2 points ago

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thanks for bringing up a year old post, way to keep up with the times!!!

[–]beasto 1 point2 points ago

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Glad you could get some karma out of my image. I grabbed this screenshot from my coworkers Facebook feed. Made it to #2 on the front page. A proud moment. Someone even pointed out a repost on her wall asking if it was her. She was not very happy to see that.

[–]Tminus60years 1 point2 points ago

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This took me about 10 minutes to comprehend she could be talking about anything else. And then I finally realized it was snow.

[–]ScreamingHand 1 point2 points ago

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You know, it would sound way less dirty if she didn't say plowing.

[–]lrony 3 points4 points ago

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thanks for the repost, chump. also, this was done on purpose.

[–]originalcuntscabs 1 point2 points ago

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So it took the internet to understand euphemisms?

[–]orestmercator 0 points1 point ago

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me too, apparently.

[–]DubstepMeGusta 0 points1 point ago

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Oh! snow.. I get it now.

[–]Wordwench 0 points1 point ago

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Not really, if you believe that was a completely unintentional innuendo.

[–]kenshiro1711 0 points1 point ago

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It's funny because she is not talking about sex, even though there are plenty of references that would mislead you and cause you to grow a boner in the pants farm.

[–]randoh12 0 points1 point ago

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I see this...

[–]stephlee2183 0 points1 point ago

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did she purposefully mislead......yea we do that sometimes

[–]l0n3s0ld13r 0 points1 point ago

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thats alot of snow

[–]goletasb 0 points1 point ago

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Public schools are to blame!

...seriously, though. I learned all the perverted stuff I know in high school.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Me too, I can't even believe fb posts like these are real anymore.

[–]poorwegian 0 points1 point ago

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10 inches? Snow big deal.

[–]ohseap 0 points1 point ago

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This just made my life.

[–]RemzeZ 0 points1 point ago

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I still don't know what she's actually talking about?

[–]callipygian_idealist 0 points1 point ago

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I guess her boyfriend invited a friend with a 6" penis over that morning.

[–]shiftace92 0 points1 point ago*

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i saw this post like 2 months ago =B "Reddit"

[–]callipygian_idealist 0 points1 point ago

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This thread is going to kill my chances at a real gift for r/secretsanta.

[–]LetsGetRamblin 0 points1 point ago

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The first time I saw this on reddit it was actually winter, so at least I could pretend it was current.

[–]CTDiesel 0 points1 point ago

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Based on the profile pic, I would be happy to plow however many inches she'll let me plow.

[–]ruinedme 0 points1 point ago

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The internet has also ruinedme...

[–]parkerjallen 0 points1 point ago

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Took me a full 20 seconds to figure out how this could be taken in a non-sexual sense.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That's what the Internet is for. Now you know the answer to that question.

[–]HolyJuan 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else try to write something in the comment box?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fakebook.

[–]asharwood 0 points1 point ago

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Imma be honest till I got to the "snow" comments on reddit, my mind was in the OMFG DIRTY GUTTER. Guess context is important.

[–]bobandgeorge 0 points1 point ago

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BA-ZING!

[–]RFEngineer 0 points1 point ago

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I want to know how she wasn't expecting the 10 inches. She's either cheating or the penis enlargement adds actually are true.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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HAHAHA

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That took me way too long to figure out...

[–]wrongnumber 0 points1 point ago

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Family flying in from Texas..., can we turn this into some meme? Like all I asked for was a rusty trombone, now I hear her family is flying in from Texas

[–]slamberry 0 points1 point ago

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No, no it hasn't. Just 'cause you found it on the internet, doesn't mean the internet ruined you. This kind of finger pointing needs to stop. Take responsibility for you own thoughts.

[–]Epicman 0 points1 point ago

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After contemplating wtf she meant for a good few minutes, I came the conclusion it had something to do with plants. Snow...hm. Fuck it..she meant penis.

[–]needformadness 0 points1 point ago

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The internet has ruined YOU? Lol, I don't think the internet's to blame in this case... How the fuck is this not sexual?

[–]muchachomalo 0 points1 point ago

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In southern California where it doesn't snow this only has one meaning.

[–]RagEMakR 0 points1 point ago

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Ummm

[–]SippinOnaTallBoy 0 points1 point ago

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OH COME ON!

[–]Ben_Jahmin 0 points1 point ago

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Women are clueless.

[–]TurnTheShip 0 points1 point ago

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The double entendre was so strong my brain couldn't work out what she was actually talking about

[–]Carlfm 0 points1 point ago

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She did that on purpose! Come on!

[–]redadidasjumpsuit 0 points1 point ago

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You wanna talk about being ruined? I just masturbated to the blurred out thumbnail of the girl.

[–]ShitTalkWarrior 0 points1 point ago

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Congratulations! You've posted this for the 100th time on reddit!

[–]LbKincaid 0 points1 point ago

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Wait, I don't see... OH, snow. I get it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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How in the world did she NOT mean it the way I reddit?

[–]rudifer_jones 0 points1 point ago

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Nice try, Mr. Facebook Hacking Boyfriend.

[–]blacknwhitelitebrite 0 points1 point ago

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why in gods name was her boyfriend plowing snow @ 2am?

[–]f0rmaldehyde 0 points1 point ago

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yeah... its not your mind, im positive this is all the filthy things it implies.