this post was submitted on
2,030 points (52% like it)
19,194 up votes 17,164 down votes

funny

subscribe2,409,263 readers

7,605 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]flargenhargen 890 points891 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

as the dead bird dries out (it is vegas) and maggots consume the flesh and then leave, the weight of the bird will drastically decrease, while the lifting power of the mylar balloon will remain constant for the short term.

therefore, once the bird has been dead a certain amount of time, it will rise into the heavens like a little angel.

[–]UnnamedPlayer 491 points492 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's disgusting and beautiful at the same time. Good job.

[–]adiagatwo 161 points162 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In that regard, it's like childbirth.

[–]PerogiXW 128 points129 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That bird is going to come out of a girl's butt?

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Babies come out of ladies' bellybuttons, stupid.

[–]Cavenaut 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

well my friend (when she was pregnant) had a dream that she gave birth to her child through osmosis and it just morphed out of her stomach :D

[–]2pacsofgum 33 points34 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well that IS where babies come from...

[–]Wiki_pedo 70 points71 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Front butt.

[–]CaptainTaters 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's what my little one called her privates - "front butt" and "butt butt".

[–]99luftproblems 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cutest thing ever. I suppose the corollary for a boy is "front tail?"

[–]dfinch 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Back-cunt.

[–]FreeDirt 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As a woman, I cannot stop laughing at this.

[–]spirit_spine 190 points191 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The maggots will go with it and just be like "What the fuck is going on!?!?!"

[–]reflion 285 points286 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Or better, they'll fall out of the corpse and tumble down onto pedestrians' heads. Like squirmy snowflakes.

[–]spirit_spine 162 points163 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Kids sticking their tongues out. "Mommy it's snowing! Watch me catch a snowflake!" NO THANKS.

[–]koorbhsal 68 points69 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks for that.

[–]i_overshare_a_lot 38 points39 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My mom left us on the same day I saw my first snowfall. Such a bittersweet moment.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I want to see you come out of someone's butt.

[–]JonSherwell 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I want to see you bloom.

[–]Sleekery 53 points54 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

NOPE!

[–]jutct 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You motherfucker! You've just created a new phobia, and now I have it!

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reminds me of James and the Giant Peach.

[–]KingGorilla 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

or they will rise from the flesh metamorphosized into flies and depart like tiny angels

[–]peter-pickle 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Some of them will say praise maggot jesus and claim it's the rapture

[–]Worlds_Worst_Handjob 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The sad part is that the balloon will deflate long before then, leaving a shriveled up "get well soon" plastic beside a rotting corpse...Not trying to bust your happy bubble or anything.

[–]flargenhargen 24 points25 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

probably before it can get airborne, it'll just get light enough to move around a bit, so as the wind blows the balloon around, it'll be dragging this dead bird along with it down the sidewalk, across the street, etc.

I don't know why, but the thought of a balloon dragging a rotting dead bird makes me laugh at the possibilities of who it might drag it past.

[–]Worlds_Worst_Handjob 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I picture a cat triumphantly carrying this poor poor corpse of a bird clinched in it's jaws of death, down a river, with the balloon slowly floating away towards the skies..

The image is damned hilarious.

[–]christifor 55 points56 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

or just...hover. Which won't be weird at all...

[–]everfalling 28 points29 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Imagine a half decomposed pigeon floating with neutral buoyancy around Vegas...

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'd wave. He seems like a nice enough fellow.

[–]WatchDogx 95 points96 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The helium will probably leak from the balloon faster. Maybe someone more knowledgeable can confirm this, but I belieive it is almost impossible to seal helium in a vessel for extended periods of time.

[–]afungi 92 points93 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Correct. Helium molecules are extremely small in comparison to other gas molecules. It will even leak from a tightly sealed metal tank.

Another fun fact: helium won't even stay on the earth. It's so small and light that it all just leaves the atmosphere. So where do we get helium you ask? From oil and natural gas deposits. Not sure exactly how it got there, but it is the product of radioactive decay.

The limited supply of helium has some disturbing implications for the future of science. Many scientific experiments require helium, one specific instance is superconducting magnets, such as those used in nuclear magnetic resonance imaging.

[–]fancy_pantser 66 points67 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually, as far back as we can find records, the helium abundance has remained constant. As alpha particles "retire" into helium atoms, they also escape into space. It's also the second most abundant element in the universe, making up something like 42% of the mass in the observable universe.

At one gas field in New Mexico, helium is a naturally occurring 7% of the atmosphere at the Earth's surface. All day, every day since time immemorial.

[–]schwab002 116 points117 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks. I was getting panicky about peak helium.

[–]fancy_pantser 81 points82 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

DON'T PANIC

[–]Colton_with_an_o 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Such large, friendly letters.

[–]internet_hobo 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So long and thanks for all the helium!

[–]Ted417 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I need my towel. Where's my towel?

[–]Mr_Smartypants 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It really is running out though.

panic

[–]Horse_Fetish 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

the helium we're using now comes from natural gas, which is about 7% helium. The atmosphere in general is more like 5 ppm helium. we should be conserving our helium because extracting it from the atmosphere is very expensive compared to getting it as a byproduct from limited natural gas reserves.

[–]MrMasterplan 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

While that is all true, the problem of depleting helium resources remains. The reason for that is that no-one has yet found a good way of extracting helium form the atmosphere in the amounts that we need it for the above-mentioned applications.

[–]bino420 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why do we allow helium balloons to exist?! What a waste!

[–]juaquin 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ever see the episode of Mythbusters where they used something like 100 tanks of Helium to fill balloons to lift Adam ten feet off the ground? Yeah.

[–]ghostofandyrooney 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hydrogen balloons!

[–]bobstay 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Renewable!

[–]flargenhargen 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

mylar balloons such as the ones in the picture are pretty good at this. I had one in my office that stayed up for 3 months before.

regular latex balloons are much worse and only last a few days.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sometimes, in a pinch, I'll wrap my dick in Mylar balloons.

[–]BarronVonSnooples 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My first thought when I read this was that you are sometimes unable to get an erection on your own, then I realized you ment using it as a condom

[–]therealjag 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I also thought it was some kind of erectile disfuntion solution...Pele would have been proud

[–]FR4UDUL3NT 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And once the bouyant force of the balloon starts to overpower the force of gravity, there will be a half-decomposed pigeon floating around Vegas.

[–]BrianWulfric 35 points36 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This will still be the cleanest thing in Las Vegas.

[–]flargenhargen 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I, for one, bow to our new zombie pigeon overlords.

[–][deleted] 533 points534 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

IS THAT A DEAD BIRD WITH A BALLOON ATTACHED TO IT? I wonder how many balloons it would take to carry the dead bird and make it fly.

[–]StarryWisdom 498 points499 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In case anyone's curious:

Helium has a lifting force of one gram per liter. An average balloon holds five liters of helium and thus can lift five grams. A pigeon weighs between 10-16 ounces (around 285-455 grams). It would take between 57 and 91 balloons to lift that poor dead pigeon.

(googled all information and then put it together to sound smart)

[–]Lazhward 459 points460 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Knowing how to internet properly is the new smart.

[–]TragicOne 206 points207 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As Einstein said, “Never memorize something that you can look up.”

[–]gunner85 127 points128 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Never memorize what you can look up in a book. -Einstein

-Neil deGrasse Tyson

FTFY

[–]CodeMagician 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, if Einstein lived in the internet age, I am sure he wouldn't have been specific on books.

[–]notLOL 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Never memorize what you can look up in a book. -Einstein

-Neil deGrasse Tyson

FTFY

-Comment owned by Condé Nast

[–]FillInTheBlank 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reddit isn't a subsidiary of Condé Nast anymore.

They moved up to being a subsidiary of Advance Publications along with Condé Nast.

[–]brandaustin 57 points58 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

then why did you memorize this quote?

[–]crinos666 78 points79 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He didn't, he remembered some vague shit about looking things up, and then went and looked it up.

[–]tisti 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He looked it up in his long term memory.

[–]Captain_Redbeard 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He saw it on today's AMA.

[–]Sweddy 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Neil deGrasse Tyson.

[–]O-Face 45 points46 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'd say more than half of all IT jobs are based upon this skill.

[–]hgritchie 99 points100 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A cute girl in my office once wondered out loud how many helium balloons she'd need to lift herself off the ground.

After some intensive Google searching and some rough maths I was quickly able to go back to her and discover that I am never going to touch a boob again.

[–]sonicoliver 39 points40 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

When it comes to females, avoid any conversation even remotely weight related like you would a dead pigeon.

[–]Tak_Galaman 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Well you see i recently did the calculation for a dead bird. I think you look like 140 dead bird so if i extrapolate from there..."

[–]kalmakka 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You look like 140 doves...

soaring through the sky...

attached to helium balloons...

because they're dead.

[–]sartreofthesuburbs 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Excuse me, um, how many dead pigeons do you weigh?

[–]gloworm666 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

welp, there's always the vagina.

[–]kloober 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You should have instead calculated how many balloons it would have taken to carry away her clothes.

It would have been worth the visit to H.R., trust me. You'd never work again, but your reputation with the bros would be fucking solid.

[–]gospelwut 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Until the HP KB gets screwed over or you run across "N/M IT WAS FIXED SORRY" with no explanation.

[–]O-Face 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"N/M IT WAS FIXED SORRY" with no explanation.

All of my hate...

[–]gospelwut 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like the ones where you have to McGuyver and Sherlock Holmes your way through vague clues scattered around various blogs/BBS to eventually come up with a solution to a strange, cryptic problem due to being on minor release 3.02.23 on this exact hardware configuration.

[–]flargenhargen 33 points34 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

that number seems high, but I checked your work and it works out. nice work.

[–]HuruHara 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]flargenhargen 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'll work on that.

[–]ChickenPotPi 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

let's use hydrogen, half the weight and more flaming dead pigeon carcass opportunity

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you for doing the math! Now all I need to do is find some dead pigeons and a lot of balloons and freak everyone out in my city.

[–]TheZeroKarmaGuy 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Frankly, a live pigeon would do too. Phosphene, I love you.

[–]nomnomzplz 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you also have to take into account the string used to tie the balloons together and to the bird. and the more balloons you have, the more string you'll need, and the more string you need, you will need more balloons to carry the weigh from the extra string. that shit would be hard to figure out

[–]SRB 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not really. Just have the same amount of string per balloon, figure out the lift of the balloon minus the string weight for one, then chain them all together, each tied to the top of the string of the previous...so just multiplying, basically.

[–]rainingchainsaws 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Enough of the math is clear, all you have to do is pick a light dead pidgeon and do your test flight on the high side of the equation, I bet the balloons would come in a pack of a hundred so just fill all of them from a helium tank and tie them to the pidgeon in a giant cluster. Pidgeon sky burials: this is what art should look like.

[–]Skwidwerd 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Did you take the mass of the balloon and string into consideration?

[–]joebro123 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Have an upvote, my intelligent superior.

[–]Lyaxe 657 points658 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

African or European balloon?

[–]Stereohead101 242 points243 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are you suggesting that balloons migrate!?!?!

[–][deleted] 96 points97 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well no, if he were suggesting that balloons migrate he wouldn't have mentioned African balloons. Everyone knows they aren't migratory.

[–]TheGizmojo 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It could grab it by the husks!

[–]M1Goblin 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How would they hold it? Perhaps if there was 2 balloons and some string...

[–]Rad2 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

never, ever, ever will this bit get old for me. never.

[–]Eurynom0s 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I...I DON'T KNOW THAT!

[–]the2belo 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......

[–]Vexing 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

African.

[–]SevenFifteen 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But African swallows aren't migratory.

[–]Vexing 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

African Balloons, on the other hand...

[–]TheHorseYouRodeIn 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

... aren't either.

[–]Aihwa 71 points72 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We can rebuild him. We have the technology.

[–]F-Stop 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You rebuilt the alcholic? You were supposed to rebuild the cop.

[–]samisdead666 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think you're the only person who's ever made a winobot reference. I love you.

[–]LordGrey 58 points59 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AND THE BALLOON SAYS "GET WELL SOON" ON IT! AND THE BIRD IS DEAD! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAAAA

[–]Autogrex 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HEY, DID YOU SEE THAT DEAD BIRD WHAT HAD A BALLOON ON IT? BRILLIANT, RIGHT?

[–]TheAncient 41 points42 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AND I WAS LIKE, DUDE, BIRDS CAN'T EVEN READ!

[–]jozlod 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

SOMEONE FOUND THE UNIVERSAL CAPSLOCK KEY AGAIN, HOW AM I MEANT TO TYPE UP EMAILS NOW!!!

[–]Caluss 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

DON'T ASSUME. THE BIRD MAY JUST BE SLEEPING AND THIS MAY BE A LEGITIMATE GESTURE OF CONDOLENCE AND WELL WISHING.

[–]MrKrazybones 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can you imagine, it gets height and then all the balloons pop causing the bird to fall and land in front of a little kid

[–]hereyagoman[S] 159 points160 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A bird we found outside of a CVS in vegas

[–]RedAnarchist 314 points315 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sigh

Every time I get the chance to I like to plug my social media site deadpigeonz.com

It's a site where you can upload pics of dead birds you find.

No one ever says 'wow that's real neat' :-/

edit

Fixed the link.

You guys are more than welcome to make profiles and vote up/down the comments.

[–]nuclear_cheese 66 points67 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's a site where you can upload pics of dead birds you find.

Why?

Why?

Why does it exist.

[–]BrianWulfric 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Gotta put dead pigeon pics somewhere...

[–]Doc_Stu 178 points179 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ಠ_ಠ

What the fuck did I just look at

[–]RedAnarchist 68 points69 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The web's true purpose.

[–]Iggyhopper 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

your flash game sucks, man

[–]OkayGuyGreg 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I didn't make a profile, but I looked at it.

[–]stunt_penguin 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if you make a profile on there the FBI makes a profile on you

[–]Spo8 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, I'm serious. Someone tell me what just occurred on my screen.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]parkher 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Anzei 43 points44 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, uh... this is now in my history.

[–]DELTATKG 53 points54 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You should have used present-buying mode.

[–]birgirpall 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh you mean disturbing-porn mode?

[–]hngryhngryhippo 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hahaha I was just thinking it's websites like these that make me never want to share my computer.

[–]aduck 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

holy shit, this is not only real, it's fairly polished

W T F

[–]BRICKBRICKBRICK 46 points47 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

WHY DOES THIS EXIST? WHY.

[–]hallowedsouls 61 points62 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow, that's really neat!

[–]Acidyo 41 points42 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is it? IS IT??

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Jesus Christ did you ever accidentally that URL.

[–]misart 61 points62 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What the hell is neat about pictures of dead birds, it's sick damn it!

[–]letsRACEturtles 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i, for one, am glad it's birds and not some other cuter, amphibian-er creature

[–]BrendanJB 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Anybody who says birds aren't cute has never owned a bird.

[–]Malfeasant 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

birds in general can be cute, but these are pigeons...

[–]NPHisnotgay 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You must be legit as you started your post with sigh. For that, I will visit the provided link and cry at the sight of dead birds.

[–]Beaver420 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think I'll buy some deadpigeonz.com t-shirts to give out as christmas gifts.

[–]minkorporated 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"no one says this is neat" -- maybe you should re-evaluate how neat it is

[–]qbord 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh my god someone actually made this site? After I saw Final Destination I wanted to create a site called "pigeon death".

[–]stevesonaplane 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You are doing a good thing. Onward and upwards.

[–]whatwasit 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

nice, the pigeonz was nice touch.

[–]LuridTeaParty 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

God bless the Internet for giving me this, and the creator who, is a human being, and a Redditor. And I'm drunk, so give me upvotes, yo.

Hey RealAnarchist, dont worry, whatever's neat to see on the Intenet is illegal anyway. I had an idea to compile whatever band's whole album that can be found on YouTube in a nice, fancy scheme whenever you looked up the band, but luckily DMCA, ACTA, PROTECT-IP et al make that kind of thing illegal. At least your 'free speech' sort of fun is legal, but my music ideas aren't.

[–]solarflow 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm going to buy a t-shirt

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not gonna lie, there's nothing in the world I want more than that iPhone case. I don't even have an iPhone.

[–]seriouslydamaged 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Still no place for my dried out squirrel-picture. Man.

[–]MrPoletski 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

O.......................K...........................

[–]aldld 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Here's a link that works. That is, in case you're actually interested.

[–]NinjaSkillz810 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We are.

[–]hifibry 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HILARIOUS site... it's almost like you made it for this thread. it's grand theft auto-IV-esque in it's design. well done.

[–]rfbandit 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I once found a hobo masturbating, outside of a Walgreens in Vegas. This just goes to show, never go to a drug store in Vegas.

[–]Scarlet- 21 points22 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is the CVS on Paradise Rd. and Harmon Avenue right next to UNLV. You can see Hofbrauhaus in the background and the Ferraro's sign underneath the CVS sign.

This brings up a different point. Did you go to the Gentleman's Club that you were standing in front of?

[–]tiggertiger 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not sure whether to applaud you for knowing where this is, or question how much time you have on your hands for finding it.

[–]vindicated19 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This CVS is pretty well known for Vegas-goers. I go to that one for alcohol restocking since it's cheaper than anywhere on the strip.

That and a lot of people go to Hofbrauhaus!

[–]jpfff 49 points50 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pixar's even more depressing sequel to Up.

[–]soad811 62 points63 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Down?

[–][deleted] 130 points131 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I actually find this kind of sad.

[–]letsRACEturtles 53 points54 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i had to make sure i was in r/funny and not r/picsofdeadbirdswithballoonstiedtothem

[–]rfbandit 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]PsychoticMuffin 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this needs more content, better open up google images

[–]77ScuMBag77 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this needs more content, better alert /b/

Yeah, that should do the trick.

[–]A-punk 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't worry, she probably lived a long and prosperous life.

Her chicks on the other hand who she was frantically rushing food for...

[–]Damaband41 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was surprised this wasn't r/wtf. I didn't think Reddit thought dead birds were funny.

[–]EastenNinja 38 points39 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That is a decent piece of modern art

[–]fritzywiggins 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And it's a fantastic subject/concept. I really want to paint now.

[–]Kruse 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sad =/

[–]featpete 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This should be posted to /r/fuckedup o_o

[–]fatmaynard 160 points161 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know why, but I just spit my drink out laughing so hard

[–]royisabau5 28 points29 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If I would've been drinking at the time, I would have too.

[–]JimJam127 112 points113 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I went and got a drink just to spit it out.

[–]royisabau5 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Close enough

[–]kilgoretrout123123 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

too close for comfort, if you ask me

[–]haley_joel_osteen 169 points170 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Acidyo 100 points101 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

NOW THAT IS NOT FUNNY, YOU DON'T POST DEAD CATS TO REDDIT.

[–]haley_joel_osteen 29 points30 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Whoops - now I've double posted it, which will earn me even more downvotes (got an error message after the first, didn't think it posted).

Also, I asked my two cats if it was ok to post and they didn't object, just continued to live their meaningless existence.

[–]Acidyo 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Their lives aren't meaningless. :(

[–]fuck_pants 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fuck you for making me laugh at a dead cat. This is hilariously bad.

[–]Silentio 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I laughed really hard at this too. Something about a “get well soon” balloon is sad. Juxtaposition with the dead bird reveals the ridiculous nature of a message balloon in the face of sickness and death.

Also, why aren’t there dead birds all over the place?

[–]manunited97 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. -E.B.White

[–]Imreallytrying 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

that's the joke

[–]SpineBuster 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This saddens the SpineBuster :(.

[–]MarketParasite 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is the saddest thing I've seen all day.

[–]due_the_drew 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

poor bird

[–]jjones83_83 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Been awhile since I have laughed that hard at a photo. Fucking great!

[–]lintamacar 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why is this in r/funny?

: (

[–]LordGrey 24 points25 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh wow. I clicked the link, hit back without thinking about it. Clicked on the next link and THEN started laughing as my brain caught up with what I saw.

[–]DrBroFist 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This happens to me far too much on Reddit. People end up walking in on me laughing hysterically at pictures of a hat someone's girlfriend knitted them

[–]wutangclanthug9mm 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actual funny in r/funny. Whowouldathought?!

[–]Warriorlem 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That is so fucked up...But i couldn't stop laughing.

[–]Forever_Trombone 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's funny and sad and poetic all at once...

[–]lilypads23 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

that's sad :(

[–]NoYouFuckingDidnt 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fuck you... that's sad

[–]serendib 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm trying to picture the scenario that lead to this.

Did they find the pigeon and then buy the balloon, or did they have a balloon and go looking for something to put it on?

[–]spudmasher 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Black bird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and get well soon.

[–]MaybeAKitty 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't find it funny, just sad. :(

[–]GitEmSteveDave 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This really hurts me, like, that's so sad. I mean, birds are like, dying. It's like, a sign of our entropy.

[–]s13coupe 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you're a monster.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is so goddamn stupid. People are actually intrigued by this shit?

[–]TheKestrel 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Holy Shit, you're right next to the Hard Rock on Harmon!

[–]UncleDucker 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's cheap

[–]Enfors 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lol. We're all going to hell.

[–]Slurve 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I laughed so hard at this. I think because it is most likely something I would do.

[–]walesmd 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Related note: I'm currently in the hospital with a motherfucker of a pneumonia (8.5cm x 10.3cm mass in my left lung). Girlfriend and kids wants to bring me balloons, so I received 2 normal balloons and the "Get Well" you see here.

When they were shopping, girlfriend's sister thought it would be funny to replace the "Get Well" with a red "We'll Miss You".

I kind of agreed. :)