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617
618

Raccoon Buffet (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by [deleted]

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[–]hoikarnage 82 points83 points ago

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And all this time I have been wasting my time with boring old peanut butter and dogs.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points ago

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This method is brings much more pleasure... and the occasional rabies.

[–]jakfischer 40 points41 points ago

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Coons? When raccoons tried getting on our back porch, Mama just chased them off with a broom.

[–]thmoka 16 points17 points ago

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Not raccoons, you idiot, niggers. And, they want to go to school with us.

[–]BYoungNY 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think many people understand this is the next line in the forrest gump quote...

[–]thmoka 2 points3 points ago

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Meh, doesn't matter.

[–]pork_rinds -2 points-1 points ago

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They do?

[–]thmoka 2 points3 points ago

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Another victim of people not watching Forrest Gump.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]4nonymo 18 points19 points ago

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    This kills the penis.

    [–]uptwolait 0 points1 point ago

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    Lockjaw?

    [–]dweeb_plus_plus 7 points8 points ago

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    They can derelicte my balls.

    [–][deleted] 50 points51 points ago

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    As a big fan of raccoons, this looks awesome. I've always wanted one as a pet.

    As a normal person with common sense, what the hell? These things get pretty vicious around food and they are known to carry diseases.

    [–]diodeforjustice 15 points16 points ago*

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    I was channel surfing and caught part of a educational program that was talking about raccoons. They were describing the parasites that are dormant to raccoons but are deadly to humans. It nearly made me puke. Apparently if you have to clean up raccoon feces or anything like that, you are supposed to burn your clothes afterward. edit: grammar

    [–]pixelharmony 10 points11 points ago

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    clothes

    [–]EwokMan 4 points5 points ago

    sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

    close

    [–]kwansolo 9 points10 points ago

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    penis

    [–]itsdeuce 6 points7 points ago

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    You probably got a tapeworm! That coon meat is lousy with parasites!

    [–]trucekill 4 points5 points ago

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    That was human meat, and I know it!

    [–]d00m3d_d00d 1 point2 points ago

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    Holy shit, burn all the things

    [–]diodeforjustice 0 points1 point ago

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    Literally kill it with fire!

    [–]seditious_commotion 1 point2 points ago

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    As a counter point...

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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    You should post this to r/aww , they would love it.

    [–]diodeforjustice 32 points33 points ago

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    Fun Fact!

    Raccoon feces contains the eggs of parasites that do not harm raccoons, but can easily be inhaled by humans and their pets. If infected the parasites are difficult to get rid of and can cause serious neural damage! If you encounter raccoon feces on your property, I suggest looking up online, or calling an exterminator to find the best method of disposal!

    [–]MC_Shortbus 14 points15 points ago

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    Mosin Nagant.

    [–]itsdeuce 1 point2 points ago

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    Bowl of anti-freeze'll do 'er

    [–]Seventh7Son 0 points1 point ago

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    FUCK YES!!!!

    [–]goldcoinz 2 points3 points ago

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    Neurological damage, eh. How the hell can someone tell the difference between raccoon feces and any other type?!

    [–]MmmVomit 5 points6 points ago

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    By the taste.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    The shape, content and location.

    [–]Linelor 0 points1 point ago

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    I have a hard enough time with spiders, and now I have to deal with this for the rest of my life?! I hate you.

    [–]terapod 50 points51 points ago

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    Why is this not in /r/wtf ?!

    [–][deleted] 82 points83 points ago

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    What's WTF about it? It's some lady with food duct taped to her while raccoons help themselves. Hasn't everyone went through this phase?

    [–]myegoiscontrollingme 16 points17 points ago

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    I wish I knew how to do the rolly eyes thingy. Cause I'd do it here.

    [–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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    ಠ_ಠ

    [–]2thetrees 4 points5 points ago

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    (¬_¬)

    [–]wedgeoflemon 7 points8 points ago

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    Reddit Enhancement Suite

    [–]terapod 6 points7 points ago

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    You mean this one: ಠ_ಠ ?

    [–]masterchef_tears -1 points0 points ago

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    there you go just copy and paste one of the ones in your replies.

    [–]ShearGenius89 -1 points0 points ago

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    ಠ_ಠ

    The look of disapproval.

    [–]AsciiAQuestion 1 point2 points ago

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    You mean initiation?

    [–]blue_ddong_gumong 0 points1 point ago

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    What's WTF about it is that racoons have an insanely strong bite.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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    Actually, I have a healthy fear of them. I used to work next to a feral cat colony. A raccoon would eat a cat and leave just the head by the doorstep on a regular basis.

    [–]tommyfever 0 points1 point ago

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    wut

    [–]supaphly42 -1 points0 points ago

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    I had to go back to see if it was actually a lady. I guess you're right.

    [–]pffftt 22 points23 points ago

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    http://www.vice.com/read/coon-suit-riot-0000040-v18n11

    [–]picu 4 points5 points ago

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    TIL how to protect your junk from raccoon attacks

    [–]al0newestand 5 points6 points ago

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    Do not try this, in case any of you idiots were pondering it. This things are pretty violent and territorial. She's lucky if she didn't get bitten the fuck up all over. Not to mention how these things tend to carry disease because they're always digging through trash, and the bacteria from that trash gets transferred from their saliva to your blood. Not good things happen.

    Bitches be crazy.

    [–]pffftt 7 points8 points ago

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    I met this girl at a house party in Montreal, shes pretty cool, but weird, there is another article she wrote for vice about frying her own vaginal discharge and eating it!!! just kinda fucking wack.

    [–]al0newestand 12 points13 points ago

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    brb, vomiting.

    [–]Alphaeno 4 points5 points ago

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    http://www.vice.com/read/ovum-easy-please-v18n6?Contentpage=2

    [–]nickgrazi 5 points6 points ago

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    I don't know why but i found it for the curious.

    [–]LBORBAH 1 point2 points ago

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    MMMM MMM MMM nothing like fried smegma poutine.

    [–]macwelsh007 0 points1 point ago

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    Now I'm really attracted to her!

    [–]thefifthwit 0 points1 point ago

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    I definitely read that.

    [–]Diffie-Hellman 0 points1 point ago

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    What. The. Fuck.

    [–]clutterbang 0 points1 point ago

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    To be fair, it's only a frying pan away from giving head.

    [–]nomatu18935 -1 points0 points ago

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    Probably a symptom of the neurotoxic parasites that the coons gave to her. Stay away and keep your dick out of crazy.

    [–]ZombieKingKong -2 points-1 points ago

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    i'd pay to see that live

    [–]ZombieKingKong 1 point2 points ago

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    I gave that bitch raccoons, bitches love coons.

    [–]JimJalinsky 4 points5 points ago

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    best comment on that page.. a little coonilingus never hurt anyone?

    [–]sfrazer 1 point2 points ago

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    Just. Wow.

    [–]atomicboy 67 points68 points ago

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    Case of rabies coming right up.

    [–]explodingplant 3 points4 points ago

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    Don't you need to be bitten to get rabies? Or is that rage zombies?

    [–]Kerguidou 0 points1 point ago

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    You have to get bitten, but raccoon very frequently carry it. I think about 40% of rabies cases are caused by raccoon.

    [–]atomicboy 2 points3 points ago

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    I'm pretty sure an infected animal needs only slobber on you.

    [–]jeremyosborne81 1 point2 points ago

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    And squirrels are known for carrying THE PLAGUE!

    [–][deleted] ago

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    [deleted]

    [–]Kerguidou 5 points6 points ago

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    Yeah? I never said nor implied that.

    [–]roffler 2 points3 points ago

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    Rabies.jpg

    [–]Inwardlens 4 points5 points ago

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    Seriously.

    [–]Sucka27 0 points1 point ago

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    Or Dysentery.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    If she gets bitten...she looks like she covered up all parts of her except her face. See the boots? I bet she's wearing gloves too.

    [–]toolittlesunshine 6 points7 points ago

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    Yeah, but she put the food all the way up to her neck, rather than stopping at her chest like a rational person would have

    [–]studiosupport 13 points14 points ago

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    Rational people don't duct tape food to themselves in an attempt to attract and feed a vicious wild animal.

    [–]hogimusPrime 2 points3 points ago

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    Ok good. So I am not the only one wondering why someone would let fur-covered barbed-wire tornadoes that close to their face-skin? Does she not know what your typical wild raccoon acts like? Those fuckers are aggressive, and they have the vicious razor-sharp talons and teeth to prove it.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    Ah, but it's broccoli. No one likes that shit.

    I've fed a few raccoons before, they're more tame than you would expect. You would be able to spot the ones with rabies right away. I think she knows what she's doing.

    [–]sarcastik15 11 points12 points ago

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    I believe that's on Mount Royal in Montréal

    [–]wolfifth 2 points3 points ago

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    Yep. Those fuckers are huge up there.

    [–]lethal_ranger 0 points1 point ago

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    I knew it!

    [–]lisabadcat 9 points10 points ago

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    Coonilingus.

    [–]Time_Paradox 5 points6 points ago

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    They're eating her!

    [–]GoldStar4RobotBoy 0 points1 point ago

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    You can't piss on hospitality.

    [–]ara_p 4 points5 points ago

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    What the... is this an as yet to be documented rabies fetish?

    [–]greyjay 2 points3 points ago

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    This is a Herzog documentary waiting to happen.

    [–]BrutalJones 2 points3 points ago

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    Suddenly rabies

    [–]NorsteinBekkler 2 points3 points ago

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    So is this an art project or just a salad that went awry?

    [–]eternally_average 2 points3 points ago

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    So many rabies!

    [–]Akathos 1 point2 points ago

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    She looks like...like she's having fun...ಠ_ಠ

    [–]yourbrainslug 1 point2 points ago

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    those raccoons are awfully fat. how often does she do this? this unfortunately does not seem far off from a dumpster diving phase which i have been through.

    [–]HittingSmoke 1 point2 points ago

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    That's how raccoons are shaped...

    [–]esquires 1 point2 points ago

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    mount royal lulz

    [–]4nonymo 1 point2 points ago

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    Haha I had to double check...I knew I had been high on mushrooms at that spot...

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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    tip: x-post it to wtf.

    [–]Wurmman 1 point2 points ago

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    Mount Royal?

    [–]snutr 1 point2 points ago

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    Hey Ash, whatcha playin'?

    [–]backintime 1 point2 points ago

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    Looks like somebody lost a serious game of Shithead. This has got to be one of the worst dares I've seen.

    [–]Kain292 1 point2 points ago

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    I have the weirdest boner.

    [–]DevMeister 1 point2 points ago

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    Damn rakins

    [–]fridgetarian 0 points1 point ago

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    That's what those furry little bitches are!

    [–]Bardlar 1 point2 points ago

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    IMO this belongs on /r/wtf Not criticizing, just saying, WTF.

    [–]TheoQ99 1 point2 points ago

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    Holy shit those are fucking huge raccoons. And so many of them.

    [–]Seventh7Son 1 point2 points ago

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    She's pretty cute for a retard.

    [–]Massa1337 4 points5 points ago

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    This is the kind of shit that brought about AIDS...

    [–]redo_drew 6 points7 points ago

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    Hahaha, i have known this girl personally since i was in highschool! i thought this was awesome haha

    [–]Neebat 1 point2 points ago

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    You should tell her that there are much easier ways to get someone to eat her.

    [–]redo_drew 1 point2 points ago

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    i lol'd

    [–][deleted] ago

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    [deleted]

    [–]hogimusPrime 2 points3 points ago

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    Well to be fair, she was probably ripped to shreds by the raccoons, right after the pic was taken.

    [–]williambueti 1 point2 points ago

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    I have the weirdest boner right now...

    [–]Turquoise-Kitty -2 points-1 points ago

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    Damn it! ಠ_ಠ That was my line... u_u

    [–]4nonymo 1 point2 points ago

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    So...have a bigger, weirder boner?

    [–]tronn4 0 points1 point ago

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    I see the logic

    [–]Turquoise-Kitty 0 points1 point ago

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    xD!!!

    [–]Ehryn 0 points1 point ago

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    Congratulations, I actually had to do a double-take on this one... I thought I've seen it all... looks fun though...

    [–]lawt6224 0 points1 point ago

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    Reminds me of this documentary I saw about a prolific mob hitman - The Iceman (or something similar). Dude would take his victims into a cave and tie them up, then rats would basically eat them alive.

    [–]hawk3ye 0 points1 point ago

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    w-t-f?

    [–]ass_herpes 0 points1 point ago

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    HAWP

    [–]dokumentamarble 0 points1 point ago

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    Is this in Birmingham (AL)?

    [–]CarpeNivem 0 points1 point ago

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    Did this person lose a bet?

    Also, while I'm sure there are places just like this all over the world, is there any chance that this particular picture was taken in Utah, not far from (possibly even in) Provo? I ask because, wow, that spot looks very familiar.

    [–]360walkaway 0 points1 point ago

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    What the... did you lose a bet or something?

    [–]boopthat 0 points1 point ago

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    Those are not raccoons, they are bears.

    [–]The-Dragon-Reborn 0 points1 point ago

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    I would love to know the back story to this

    [–]CUNTRY 0 points1 point ago

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    you crazy bitch

    [–]Lootam 0 points1 point ago

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    Kinky.

    [–]jonny_goblin 0 points1 point ago

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    is it just me, or are her legs all kinds of messed up?

    [–]SmoothWD40 0 points1 point ago

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    Natural selection at work.

    [–]sch3ct3r 0 points1 point ago

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    move along, nothing to see here.

    [–]DocDerry 0 points1 point ago

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    and once the feast is done let the raping begin.

    [–]th3greyfox 0 points1 point ago

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    that's a weird fetish but at least she's good with animals. fine wife material if i ever saw one, plus free racoons casserole every Sunday.

    [–]TheCrimsonOrder 0 points1 point ago

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    Enjoy your RABIES! You are lucky that treatment no longer requires the use of a huge needle directly into your abdomen.

    [–]TheTwist 0 points1 point ago

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    Just wait until they get to the carrot.

    [–]PrincessKeona 0 points1 point ago

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    HOW PRECIOUS!!!

    [–]DingDong24 0 points1 point ago

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    Awwww Hell Naw!!

    [–]lil2faded 0 points1 point ago

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    any 1 know the story behind this? can't help to feel like this lady lost some kind of bet, or i guess is currently winning some kind of bet.

    [–]fswizz 0 points1 point ago

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    That's the look of a woman who was told she was being taken for a romantic night out, but instead was duct taped to some rocks, covered in food, and photographed while being swarmed by raccoons.

    I think it's safe to say that after this first date, she won't be returning your calls.

    [–]elesdee 0 points1 point ago

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    I have the rabiest boner right now.

    [–]Doctor_Gravyfist 1 point2 points ago

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    Here's what's weird: Rabies can actually give you a boner. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapism

    [–]rahulverma120 0 points1 point ago

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    is that grizzly peak?

    [–]maibunneh 0 points1 point ago

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    I am the raccoon mother

    [–]kosif 0 points1 point ago

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    Here I am getting all excited about all the raccoons I can eat.

    [–]JimJalinsky 0 points1 point ago

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    It's from a pilot of a non hardcore version of Jackass.

    [–]EnglishBulldog 0 points1 point ago

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    This isn't going to end well.

    [–]piroko05 0 points1 point ago

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    Me Gusta

    [–]Hyperion1144 0 points1 point ago

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    That is not recommended if you would like to stay healthy and alive.

    Not recommended at all.

    [–]shocpherrit 0 points1 point ago

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    Is this a rule 34 thing?

    [–]Ballsin 0 points1 point ago

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    This is in Montreal.

    [–]AnxAlbumxCover 0 points1 point ago

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    The things people do for Karma...

    [–]naftidder 0 points1 point ago

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    Damn id eat that. Oh wait is that yeast?

    [–]Radico87 0 points1 point ago

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    Your friend might have Rabies.

    [–]Rejoyces 0 points1 point ago

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    I AM THE RACCOON KING! All bow down to me now and I shall spare thee.

    [–]beerponglolz 0 points1 point ago

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    That...can't be healthy.

    [–]nomtank 0 points1 point ago

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    I just don't get performance art...

    [–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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    "don't move, their vision is based on movement"

    [–]gonz0 0 points1 point ago

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    This person was confirmed dead hours later.

    [–]Doctor_Gravyfist 0 points1 point ago

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    I only came here to see how many times the word "rabies" would be in the comments. I count 14.

    [–]evil_zombie_monkey 0 points1 point ago

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    wut?

    [–]1mistakecharly 0 points1 point ago

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    Montreal?

    [–]mrpotatoes 0 points1 point ago

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    I wasn't aware of this fetish

    [–]druek 0 points1 point ago

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    You forgot the Brazzers logo.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    You idiot, this is how Outbreak happened!!

    [–]Scarjaka 0 points1 point ago

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    My reaction

    [–]BracedPolecat 0 points1 point ago

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    eww.... 80 percent of racoons carry parasites so as long as they didn't shit on this person but still...

    http://wildlifetrapper.com/home-services/attic-restoration/parasites-and-desease-carried-by-raccoons/

    [–]gweezer 0 points1 point ago

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    I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks thats an incredibly fucked up thing to do to someone.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    Aside from the diseases that have been mentioned, most people don't realize just how fucking vicious raccoons can be.

    [–]LeCoyote 0 points1 point ago

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    I knew girls were made out of some kind of bread material...

    [–]liverpoop 0 points1 point ago

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    this is a terrible idea.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    I want furry things to embrace me.

    [–]TheFeverFrenzy 0 points1 point ago

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    "Wait a second... that's not a carrot! NOOOOOOOOOO~!"

    [–]tronn4 0 points1 point ago

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    Gettin eating out by raccoons... nice bucket list BRAH!

    [–]starsspinningdizzy 0 points1 point ago

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    oh god this picture just gives me the creeps. ::shudders:: I'm all about cute animals and all, and yeah, raccoons are cute, but they also freak me the fuck out. I would never let this happen.

    [–]RaidensReturn 0 points1 point ago

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    WTF. JUST WTF.

    [–]pandemic1444 0 points1 point ago

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    This is an extreme way to commit suicide.

    [–]tubcat 0 points1 point ago

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    I don't put such trust in animals that can rip a dog to absolute shreds in seconds.

    [–]byronotron 0 points1 point ago

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    ... What the fuck is going on here?

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    this girl is amazing

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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    Hipsters...

    [–]canyonkid -2 points-1 points ago

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    Is she freaking nuts rabies with a side of fleas and ticks. What if she gets bitten??? Damn foolish. Oh by the way got to go drown one of those damn things in my trap.

    [–]jpreston2005 -2 points-1 points ago

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    ah just drive em' somewhere and let 'em off. they have it hard enough as it is.

    [–]canyonkid 1 point2 points ago

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    You ever let a mad coon out of a trap???? fuckers come right back at you. Their mean critters. Their not native here and cause all sorts of havoc.

    [–]dirtymoney 0 points1 point ago

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    not around places with dumpsters. They feast like kings. And they get bold as fuck in large numbers.

    [–]canyonkid 0 points1 point ago

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    You ever let a mad coon out of a trap???? fuckers come right back at you. Their mean critters. Their not native here and cause all sorts of havoc.

    [–]jpreston2005 0 points1 point ago*

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    well, yeah. raccoon's always are at my mom's bird feeders at night. I would set out the trap, get a couple, and then release them a couple miles north into a park. me and my parents luagh about it, thinking that if everyone does what we do, eventually raccoon's are going to take over Canada

    edit, i usually use a rake to open the trap, keep 'em at arms length.

    [–]canyonkid 0 points1 point ago

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    I teach them to swim. If they cant there coonskin caps with the lil dangle arms in front. Brain tanned they are.Hell i must be a hillbilly

    [–]Glenners -1 points0 points ago

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    A similar picture was posted several months ago. Hipsters being hipsters.

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