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top 200 commentsshow all 252

[–][deleted] 366 points367 points ago

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In reading that question I felt like I was preparing to solve the most difficult and inane math problem ever.

[–]xhsdf 176 points177 points ago

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Becca is shorter than Amber but taller than Vanessa. Vanessa is taller than Becca, but shorter than Lord Scotland. Lord Scotland is twice the height of Becca and Amber combined but only one-tenth of the height of Ally. Ally is at a constant height of x − y. If Becca stands exactly one nautical mile away from Lord Scotland, how tall is Vanessa?

[–]A_Higher_Porpoise 115 points116 points ago

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i couldnt figure out x at first. but after going back over my notes i realized the answer is grapefruit. i cant explain how i got here. but thats the answer. im 98.3% sure.

[–]Chuck_T_Bone 75 points76 points ago

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I am sorry but you are slightly off as you forgot the most important part you did not carry becca over amber... so clearly that skewed your math just a little bit.

The real answer is drywall

[–]hulk_krogan 49 points50 points ago

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Rookie mistake, really.

[–]4knives[!] 46 points47 points ago

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On second thought, let's not go to camelot. It is a silly place.

[–]DrinksLikeAFish 3 points4 points ago

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carry becca over amber

Photo

[–]Matika7 29 points30 points ago

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wow, a whole grapefruit?

[–]vdgmrpro 21 points22 points ago

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No, 98.3% of a grapefruit.

[–]sir_nigel_powers 1 point2 points ago

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An African or European Grapefruit?

[–]vdgmrpro 1 point2 points ago

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Are you suggesting that grapefruits migrate?

[–]MickiFreeIsNotAGirl 4 points5 points ago

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That's what I said!

[–]icockblock 6 points7 points ago

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are you Trevor ?

[–]Glampire 1 point2 points ago

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I'm sorry, but I got coconut.

[–]MintySocks 29 points30 points ago

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TRICK QUESTION! VANESSA IS INVISIBLE!

[–]Stranghill 12 points13 points ago

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Imhotep is invisible.

[–]rboyce 10 points11 points ago

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Solve using cDonald's Theroem.

[–]bldkis 21 points22 points ago

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Remember: Becca is 15 and Amber is 3 years older than Vanessa. If Vanessa is the oldest and Ally is 17, which is 2 years older than Vanessa then how old is Lord Scotland if he is the age of the inverse of the sum of all the girls' ages combined?

Solve that motherfuckers.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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Impossible, because Vanessa can't be the oldest if Amber is 3 years older than Vanessa ;P

[–]bldkis 19 points20 points ago

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I noticed that after I finished the line about Ally and thought to go back to change it and then I was like "Fuck that shit, the joke will be better if I make it make less sense"

[–]Magnesus 2 points3 points ago

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Time travel.

[–]icockblock 4 points5 points ago

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lets assume if venessa has herpes and ally has crabs...then what are the odds of trevor getting aids ?

[–]themajestic12 2 points3 points ago

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I assumed you couldn't spell Vanessa. I assumed correctly.

[–]Gisbourne 5 points6 points ago

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Doesn't matter. Lord English is bringing about the end of the universe anyway.

[–]Squishtopher 2 points3 points ago

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Not if Captain America has anything to say about it... can't see anything going wrong there...

[–]Raichu2 6 points7 points ago

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If you haven't figured this out, you can solve it using maths.

[–]philip1201 6 points7 points ago

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Becca is shorter than Amber but taller than Vanessa. Vanessa is taller than Becca [...].

Becca is [...] taller than Vanessa. Vanessa is taller than Becca.

Becca is taller than Becca.

ಗ_ಗ

[–]Polychrome59 3 points4 points ago

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Easy. Imhotep is invisible.

[–]jonthesloth 77 points78 points ago

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Seriously I was starting to think I was going to have to write this down

[–]notmynothername 19 points20 points ago

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That's why it took an MS in Analysis to figure it out.

[–]TrevorBradley 8 points9 points ago

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I was kind of hopeful, being a math major who likes logic puzzles, but came away from the post with a really bad feeling.

Also, my username.

[–]Rantingbeerjello 5 points6 points ago

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I found myself thinking, "Okay, so, I put Becca and Amber in the boat and cross the river, then cross back with Amber STILL in the boat to pick up Vanessa..."

[–]trekbette 104 points105 points ago

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The train will arrive in Chicago at 3 p.m.

[–]DrPeacemaker 10 points11 points ago

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And, out of all the men on board, the engineer is most likely to get laid tonight.

[–]Schamus 1 point2 points ago

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I hardly ever find that true...

[–]duncdog10 107 points108 points ago

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"Becca defiantly."

[–]whoops1995 38 points39 points ago

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I don''t know why, but I keep seeing that same typo over and over again, how hard is it to spell "definitely"? There isn't even an "a"

[–]onfia 57 points58 points ago

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Its because people who don't know how to spell it correctly type in "definatly". People see that they typed the word in wrong , and right click the word -> Spell check, and click the first thing on the list, thinking its the correct way. In fact it is not, and changes "definatly" to "defiantly".

[–]Ipinch 47 points48 points ago

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Is it possible that md_of_ho... stated that Trevor should date Becca in a defiant manner?

[–]alsocan 25 points26 points ago

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I thought the same thing, since she's under age it would have to be done in a defiant manner

[–]cookieninjar 6 points7 points ago

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I choose Rebecca defiantly! Screw dem other broads.

[–]OhWhyBother 1 point2 points ago

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I see what you did there. ಠ_ಠ

[–]darkpaladin 2 points3 points ago

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It's not a typo, it's triumphant. Common cause states that he shouldn't date becca so the poster is telling him to defy the haters and date becca.

[–]saveyoursoul 1 point2 points ago

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I kept typing it wrong so many times I started using it as part of a password. Kept wanting to spell it "definetly".

[–]vaizer 1 point2 points ago

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You have to just tell people it's wrong and offer something to make them remember. I used to f that one up all the time until someone told me "d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e, it has 'finite' in it".

[–]seanopedia 1 point2 points ago

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Conversely, if you spell "definitely" with an 'a', you're an asshole.

[–]DrPeacemaker 1 point2 points ago

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Maybe he meant it as "date her defiantly, as in "defy her parents wishes."

[–]CodeMagician 1 point2 points ago

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I am usually a pretty good speller but I always have trouble with that word. I usually try to spell it definately not defiantly.

[–]kadjar 8 points9 points ago

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Spell definite.

Then add -ly.

[–]runonandonandonanon 2 points3 points ago

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Spell priv-lij.

[–]molmu 4 points5 points ago

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well, since Becca is underage'd maybe its an act of rebellion so it might be correct usage

[–]YouHeatedBro 4 points5 points ago

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[–]ceelogreenispeople 38 points39 points ago

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This is like one of those word puzzles where you have to figure out who gets to sit next to whom at the dinner.

[–]ameoba 16 points17 points ago

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Logic problems, bro.

[–]whitemamba83 19 points20 points ago

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http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Al1Z0LSgSY41MGZEpliYzW3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20111101183832AA5jxMD

This.. is amazing. The worst part is, the dumb girl ends up doing "both." Like WTF why were you asking if you can do both?

[–]Scaraban 8 points9 points ago

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That's what I immediately thought, you don't think the information that you can do both is important? Even more important why the fuck are you wasting the goddamn internet's time with your stupid question?

[–]Rick554 3 points4 points ago

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I'm going to recommend to my company that we start making management decisions using the Jot it, Plot it, and Rock it system.

[–]mitchlol7 170 points171 points ago

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Chris Hansen happens, Trevor.

Definitely the best part.

[–]RightBehindYa 102 points103 points ago

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Defiantly the best part.

FTFY

[–]sturmeh 15 points16 points ago

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Hey now, md_of_ho... used the word defiantly correctly!

Adv. 1. defiantly - in a rebellious manner;

[–]I_Am_Chris_Hansen 5 points6 points ago

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This man speaks the truth.

[–]ghilliesaurusrex 50 points51 points ago

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Well damn I wish he'd solve all my problems

[–]tyrantlytamale 49 points50 points ago

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"Posted one second ago."

He is OP.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Cadvin 42 points43 points ago

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Wait a second. He has more.

[–]mspwnsalot 23 points24 points ago

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I know, this is one dedicated dude.

[–]dheisman 11 points12 points ago

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They are all awesome, lol.

[–]chancegold 16 points17 points ago

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[–]Goldberry 4 points5 points ago

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wow dude tell ur dad to buy some higher price * * * * , im also 15, 16 in 2 months 'n' im gettin a mercedez benz E class AMG 2007. If u want a new car u wont find something good for 15 grand, and used try to get a fusion (which will suck * * * ), but i would recomend some american car cause most european cars at that budget are hell used. Maybe Chrysler 300 2008, or Ford Fiesta or as tradition dictates: A Dodge challenger 1974. -_-

This comment made me sad.

[–]Saint947 5 points6 points ago

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" I personally know I live my life a quarter mile at a time, and so should you. Granny shiftin' not double clutchin' like you should."

Oh my fucking God-- I can't breathe--

FIND THIS MAN

[–]agodlyharm 10 points11 points ago

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[–]comment_filibuster 3 points4 points ago

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I... I... work with him... This is weird.

[–]timdiggerm 1 point2 points ago

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"Damn that was a good answer haha"

and the asker even liked it!

[–]omg_itzahaxz 3 points4 points ago

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"you need a real mans car. like a honda civic."

[–]Mastuh 6 points7 points ago

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He needs to do an AMA

[–]Twerty 2 points3 points ago

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74% best answer. 337 answers. Not bad. Not bad at all.

[–]Elkram 9 points10 points ago

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[–]SystemOutPrintln 5 points6 points ago

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[–]tyrantlytamale 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, I see. Well, OP didn't take the screencap then.

[–]alsothewalrus 7 points8 points ago

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So old, but so good.

[–]EpicGoats 26 points27 points ago

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First Reddit post with my name in it, time to find a bitch named Amber

[–]Treevor 13 points14 points ago

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Sorry, she's taken.

[–]CovertAI 10 points11 points ago

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Better luck with Vanessa. Heard she's easy.

[–]Tobislu 6 points7 points ago

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Everyone loves Magical Trevor.

[–]TrevorBradley 1 point2 points ago

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poof!

[–]sporkasaurus 7 points8 points ago

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1 second? I swear I saw this exact same thing about 3 or 4 years ago.

[–]Phalzum 4 points5 points ago

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It's called repost, Trevor. Still funny though.

[–]Bubblebath_expert 9 points10 points ago*

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There are very few places in the world were 16 isn't legal.

In most US states, the legal age is 16. In most of the places where it's not 16, there are exemptions for close age. The exceptions are California where sex is technically illegal until the age of 18 and Arizona where there is no actual exception for close age, just a way to defend yourself in court, meaning you still have a record of being accused of it. Maybe others I don't know by heart. Refer to the Wikipedia page as a guide and confirm with more official documents. I mean, this shit can ruin your life.

If you look at the wording, he's not saying she's 16 to imply she's too young, but to imply that her parents won't let her date boys until 16. This entire story reeks of high school, so I have no doubt that the guy asking is around 16 himself, so realyl except California and Arizona (but check to be sure), there shoudn't be a problem with dating a 16 year-old anywhere.

Therefore the first point doesn't work and Trevor is still available.

EDIT: Wisconsin and Missouri don't have close-age exemption either.

[–]bsddc 12 points13 points ago

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I like how the first couple of answers said go with Becca, even though Trevor said he couldn't chose Becca. I'm just saying.

[–]AFarewellToArms 11 points12 points ago

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It's the Twilight generation. Go for the forbidden fruit. It'll be soooo romantic. Fucking shoot me.

[–]Everydayilearnsumtin 8 points9 points ago

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Bam!

[–]krevency 5 points6 points ago

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What do you expect from Yahoo Answers?

[–]nastyn8k 2 points3 points ago

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Is it bad that I don't understand WTF I just read?

[–]7nights 5 points6 points ago

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This guy's pretty good.

[–]MaddieK09 6 points7 points ago

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I don't want to see Trevor on How to Catch a Predator.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]rhino110 6 points7 points ago

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I'm glad you're enjoying 2011

[–]grantrules 2 points3 points ago

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This makes me think of those puzzles you did in school where you make a grid and are able to fill it in with names or things by using all the clues. I forget what it's called.. oh.. Microsoft Excel.

[–]hal9005 2 points3 points ago

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MikeyJam is my hero and mentor, wish I had him in High School then my penis wouldn't have gone flaccid and unused!

[–]essentialindexical 2 points3 points ago

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Becca, defiantly

[–]tiresfordinner 2 points3 points ago

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seems this jpg is starting to show its age

[–]claymore_kitten 2 points3 points ago

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'posted 1 second ago'. lucky OP happened upon such a clever person so quickly.

[–]TabascoQuesadilla 2 points3 points ago

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Did anyone else hope that this was going to be Trailer Park Boys related?

[–]nanoz122 5 points6 points ago

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This guy is a genius!

[–]emu420 6 points7 points ago

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He should go out with all of them, Ally, Vanessa, and... uh... uhh... oops.

[–]thatrudedude 4 points5 points ago

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EPA?

[–]wrc-wolf 3 points4 points ago

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Shit's so old.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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This is by far the best funny post I've seen all day. Kudos, to you, sir.

[–]LesMisIsRelevant 1 point2 points ago

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One, unnecessary, comma too, many.

[–]kcpwnsgman 5 points6 points ago

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"1 second ago"

you could at least wait 2 whole seconds next time

jeez

[–]LesMisIsRelevant 4 points5 points ago

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3 years ago. I want to hit you with a baseball bat.

EDIT: Not violently, I just want to prod you until you go insane with annoyance.

[–]Jero79 2 points3 points ago

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He made a comment he thought was funny and wanted to share it with us on this site in r/funny. I don't see any problems with that.

Why does it tick redditors off that people post their own submissions from Yahoo answers or Facebook on this site, but the same isn't true for all the memes people make?

[–]njdevs 1 point2 points ago

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win

[–]itsjustballoons 1 point2 points ago

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The biggest douchebag in my undergrad stats class called himself "The Trevor". And spoke in the third person.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It took one second for that guy to post and have a screen shot of his post.

[–]TheIrishToker 1 point2 points ago

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There is not enough upvotes for this.

[–]theFromm 1 point2 points ago

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"Boner, Amanda" - Day[9]

[–]DogiojoeXZ 1 point2 points ago

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MikeyJam is like Yoda except I can understand what he is saying.

[–]daedalus733 1 point2 points ago

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I like how he just assumes this guy is an adult and uses that as a reason not go pick the obvious choice. :/

[–]MickiFreeIsNotAGirl 1 point2 points ago

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I'd go with...
Queen Jane, Approximately.

[–]webr3 1 point2 points ago

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"1 second ago" - how painfully sad.

[–]punstermcpunstein627 1 point2 points ago

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The world's second analrapist?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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So I guess Dennis found Yahoo! Answers, then.

[–]Melnorme 1 point2 points ago

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That's what I call an Amber Alert.

[–]nehalvpatel 3 points4 points ago

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It's weird because there are girls named Vanessa, Becca, Ally, and Amber in my school. And, the personalities match... ಠ_ಠ

[–]luckymcduff 18 points19 points ago

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This is years old, and those are common names.

[–]krevency 7 points8 points ago

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I see you're in the business of bursting bubbles...

[–]HitTheGymAndLawyerUp 1 point2 points ago

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Well now we have someone to blame other than Goldman Sachs.

[–]HobbytheWise 12 points13 points ago

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Ask if they know Trevor!

[–]TrevorBradley 6 points7 points ago

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I don't know any of them...

[–]harpwn 3 points4 points ago

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normally I don't complain about reposts but holy jesus this is the 4th time this has been posted.

[–]donkey12 0 points1 point ago

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This is how I imagined this conversation going down even if Trevor was able to respond to everything this guy was saying. He would have a chance to get a word in.

[–]PugPun 0 points1 point ago

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This guy knows it shit for sure.

[–]MrM00se 0 points1 point ago

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that man is a genius

[–]Punkgoblin 0 points1 point ago

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When it's all said and done, I bet he picks the left AND the right.

[–]nastydru 0 points1 point ago

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MikeyJamJams is some epic master Analyst.. i got faith he will solve all world problems :D

[–]Ragnorok161 0 points1 point ago

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Everytime I see this it weirds me out. My name is Trevor and my girlfriends name is Amber.

[–]swisher_sweet 0 points1 point ago

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this kicks so much ass haha

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I can't believe the other people are actually suggesting Becca. OP clearly states that he starts talking "crazy" around her. The last thing we need is a 16 year old suicide bomber or another school shooting.

[–]PlumberODeth 0 points1 point ago

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It's called punctuation, Trevor.

[–]TomorrowByStorm 0 points1 point ago

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Did anyone else read this in the voice of Van Wilder?

[–]RipTlde 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in a Liam Neeson voice... it twas magical.

[–]Train_Face 0 points1 point ago

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Trevor must be his middle name. This leads to a Nick, who's picture tests out a 99.977% match.

[–]SK00CH 0 points1 point ago

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Looks fake.

[–]Saehwan88 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, this guy is good.

[–]f03nix 0 points1 point ago

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Trick question, the answer is Amber ... isn't it ?

[–]chrisbannex 0 points1 point ago

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I always read these, but never do I so desperately want them to be real.

[–]GrooveCombo 0 points1 point ago

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Well played sir. Well played.

[–]AlmightyTurtleman 0 points1 point ago

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Never lol'ed more at the word Trevor.

[–]sawyer77 0 points1 point ago

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Awesome work TREVOR !!!!

[–]vicschuldiner 0 points1 point ago

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That was genius. I love funny people. Trevor sounds like a fuckface.

[–]Nomtaro 0 points1 point ago

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My name is Trevor and this was really awkward to read.

[–]McFood 0 points1 point ago*

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He calls them Mikey's Miracles, and does them weekly. There's apparently 67 of them now, with another due soon. He's awesome.

Edit: http://answers.yahoo.com/activity?show=E3AKaR2Raa

[–]GravityUnicorn 0 points1 point ago

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This was absolutely amazing.

[–]IM_not_listening 0 points1 point ago

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For some reason I read the reply with Liam Neeson's voice in my head...I have no idea why.

By the way, good God, that's one long question. Give me some "." or something, yeesh.

[–]bigdog6286 0 points1 point ago

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perfect way to answer a retarded post

[–]abbrevia 0 points1 point ago

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Mikeyjamjams is a hero. He does one of these a week, called Mikey's Miracles.

[–]xsammhooverx 0 points1 point ago

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dying.

[–]deesher 0 points1 point ago

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Well I believe this man wins the Internet

[–]CopperKat 0 points1 point ago

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Please tell me someone else read that in the voice of Sterling Archer?

[–]wr08 0 points1 point ago

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"Posted one second ago"? This guy wanted a screenshot STAT

[–]rizukinu 0 points1 point ago

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I feel like i want to use this in a play i'm writing...

[–]AdorableZeppelin 0 points1 point ago

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I read that in Ricky's voice. I expected them to demand smokes once they were done.

[–]jesterkid01 0 points1 point ago

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the internet is always there for you, even in the midst of soul crushing middle school decisions.

[–]koollama 0 points1 point ago

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Nice try, Amber.

[–]jennyroll 0 points1 point ago

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billion upvotes!!!

[–]JustHereToFFFFFFFUUU 0 points1 point ago

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Trevor used "I" as an object pronoun, he deserves to die forever alone.

Sorry, you have to be cruel to be kind sometimes.

[–]Sairili 0 points1 point ago

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Trevor needs to make himself some Velveeta Cheesey Skillets. Yes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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And I am automatically thrown back to grade 9 math. Goddamnit, who knew girl problems all depended on your math skills? This Engineering major will get me mad chicks.

[–]icockblock 0 points1 point ago

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Trevor has AIDS

[–]hypastrophe 0 points1 point ago

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fucking TREVOR. hope he dies.

[–]Dalinair 0 points1 point ago

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Lol awesome stuff and the guys response is golden.

The correct answer was becca anyway, just play skyrim till she's 16

[–]akindablue 0 points1 point ago

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haha "master of analysis" that's business card material right there.

[–]amilie15 0 points1 point ago

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Actually amazing. Analysers just went up a whole bunch in my book. What's Mike's number anyone? Hahaha

[–]Raptorace22 0 points1 point ago

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That is not master analysis. He didn't even extrapolate!

[–]Kyizen 0 points1 point ago

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Bam! See how I upvoted your post KingSparky

[–]tamper 0 points1 point ago

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Emeril gives dating advice now?

[–]ezliconfuzzed 0 points1 point ago

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That was one of the most awesome things I've seen in a long time.

[–]IyamwhatIyam 0 points1 point ago

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That guy must be a consultant for sure.

[–]cjk105 0 points1 point ago

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I would cite that source all day!

[–]JassimH 0 points1 point ago

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This threads reply's is akin to the posts on 4chan, however the OP's post was hilarious.

[–]ElGoorf 0 points1 point ago

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actually, an 18 dating a 16yo isn't illegal...

[–]Anticitizen-Zero 0 points1 point ago

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My brain assploded reading these comments. :( I could only deduce that everyone is a lot shorter than Ally and probably all look like chodes.

[–]egnogg 0 points1 point ago

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I hate this kid. A lot.

[–]The_Commander 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else read this in John Madden's voice?

[–]FidgetyRat 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think the gramatical periods were the only ones missing from the original story!

[–]raverblades 0 points1 point ago

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It seems this question was asked there years ago.... http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081022192835AAcpkPQ

someone find trevor and see how it all worked out....

[–]Baconkitten 0 points1 point ago

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Guy's got a point.

[–]Chelo7 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, I couldn't stop laughing at that. This has been my favorite so far!

[–]maxtheterp 0 points1 point ago

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This is the longest thing I've ever read on the Internet. And it was hilarious!

[–]easyeight 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in Dwight's voice.

[–]averyliteralman 0 points1 point ago

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Robert California?

[–]mugwump10 0 points1 point ago

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I read that entire thing in Archer's voice.

[–]tusocalypse 0 points1 point ago

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He's on a horse.

[–]misternarwhale 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in the voice of Gregor for CBC's wiretap.

[–]FraggotMan 0 points1 point ago

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WHATS GONNA WORK?

[–]SquallLionheart 0 points1 point ago

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I want this guy to make all the major decisions in my life...

[–]jack-tripper 0 points1 point ago

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Hopefully he picked Ally. It's the ugly ducklings that turn out to be the bombshells years later.

[–]BigBeardedMan 0 points1 point ago

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This is brilliant

[–]PastaNinja 0 points1 point ago

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It's interesting that people actually advocated for Becca, even though Trevor said that he heard Becca will try to break him and Amber. A girl so manipulative that she's willing to break up an existing relationship to get what she wants? RED FLAG AHOY!