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all 145 comments

[–]yangx 36 points37 points ago

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Jesus is scoring tonight!

[–]RaymondAblack[S] 92 points93 points ago

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[–]squeakyneb 23 points24 points ago

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WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THESE?

[–]grahvity 28 points29 points ago

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r/coffeewithjesus

Subscribed just now.

[–]squeakyneb 11 points12 points ago

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Thank you, my good sir!

[–]RaymondAblack[S] 38 points39 points ago

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[–]squeakyneb 10 points11 points ago

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Noice :3

[–]burnsie 3 points4 points ago

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Subscribed Too! Laughed my ass off!

[–]giantPenus 0 points1 point ago

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subscribed TOO

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]RaymondAblack[S] 8 points9 points ago

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I wonder what Jesus thinks about rape fantasy?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]RaymondAblack[S] 2 points3 points ago

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God and Joseph have dual custody. They switch off.

[–]JasonMacker 0 points1 point ago

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Not for me! I am the 1% (of Redditors)!

[–]inferno719 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit, this stuff is GOLD!

[–]Jugemu 2 points3 points ago

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This was even funnier than the OP in my opinion.

[–]what_eye_see 16 points17 points ago

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This game doesn't make sense, you can't really have fallacies in a work of fiction. I mean that's like going through Harry Potter and drinking every time something magical happens.

Actually never mind that would be a fucking AWESOME drinking game.

[–]RaymondAblack[S] 7 points8 points ago

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I see you see the point. Everyone gets drunk!

[–]Antrikshy 2 points3 points ago

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Drink all the things!

[–]Uneducated_Christian 1 point2 points ago

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The fallicies are there because God talke d through multiple people! There interpritations are innacurate becuase they are full of sin....

[–]aG_Infamous 0 points1 point ago

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Your name is accurate

[–]PinballWizrd 51 points52 points ago

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Genesis 1:1: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

SHOT!

[–]asdfman123 48 points49 points ago*

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That's not a fallacy, friend. That's a claim. Given that there's no argument yet, it can't be fallacious. Besides, if the Bible's logic is internally consistent (which it isn't, given the contradictions in it) then the whole thing can't be fallacious, even you could prove the claims are incorrect. If I said "my head is orange," it's not a fallacy.

A fallacy is an invalid argument that appears valid, or a valid argument with disguised assumptions. First the premises and the conclusion must be statements, capable of being true and false. Secondly it must be asserted that the conclusion follows from the premises

- wikipedia, argument

[–]fdtc_skolar 8 points9 points ago

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The first inconsistency I am aware of is with Genesis chapter 2 differing from chapter 1 on the order of creation. Chapter 1 has animals being created on the fourth day and plants on the 5th. Chapter 2 has the order reversed.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Not a fallacy either.

[–]Devinm84 2 points3 points ago

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"Inconsistancy."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, silly me. Yes.

[–]fedja 6 points7 points ago

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If I said "my head is orange," it's not a fallacy.

Boehner, is that you?

[–]PinballWizrd 0 points1 point ago

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Hmm..so that would be a factual error by definition? Could you give me an example of a fallacy? I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this at the moment..

[–]asdfman123 1 point2 points ago

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No, a fallacy is an incorrect argument given your premises. For instance, I could say:

Premise 1: You're from Boston.
Premise 2: Most people from Boston are criminals.
Conclusion: You're a criminal.

The reasoning there is obviously wrong, because for that conclusion to be true everyone from Boston must be a criminal.

Here's a list of common fallacies.

[–]PinballWizrd 0 points1 point ago

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Makes much more sense to me now, thanks!

[–]PinballWizrd -1 points0 points ago

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Well, the idea that god created heaven and Earth, from the Christian standpoint, is preceded by the notion that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and that the universe was created in 6 days, both of which we know are false. Thus, a fallacy.

[–]asdfman123 0 points1 point ago

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[–]paolog 7 points8 points ago

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In the beginning

If, as some astrophysicists postulate, the universe has always existed, you'll need to take your first swig right here.

[–]joshbike 3 points4 points ago

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The universe has always existed? WTF

[–]xkcdfanboy 8 points9 points ago*

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The universe is above existence. Because we consider the universe to contain everything, nothing could have existed without the universe. Therefore, if the universe didn't always exist, then there was true nothingness but even nothing is something, isn't it?

Nothing=Something - these are the exact kind of equations which require axioms, they can't be proven. Based on whether you choose Nothing=Something to be true or false, different types of science will result.

Which brings us back to the existence of the universe - it's indeterminable whether it always "existed."

[–]something_not_taken 6 points7 points ago

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Or alternatively - there was no time before the Universe had come into existence, and since "always" refers to time, the Universe has been in existence as long as there has been time.

[–]ConstipatedNinja 2 points3 points ago

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I've always hated how people say that time was created in the big bang. Time existed before as the same construct it had always been. The physics surrounding it was a lot more complex due to the energies referred to in the big bang, but that's as far as that goes.

[–]something_not_taken 1 point2 points ago

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That is why I did not use the term "big bang," but rather "the Universe" ;) And since our perception of time only comes from entropy, it's hard to define "time" anywhere where entropy does not happen.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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You're possibly talking about the "multiverse" there, or at the very least the "universe" into which our bubble of local space (local space being the space encompassed by the furthest distance that light has been able to travel since about, oh, 13.7 billion years back) has expanded.

[–]joshbike -1 points0 points ago

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Then the universe is immortal? That's a religious view. Some people view God to be always existing, you view the universe to be always existing.

[–]aidrocsid 2 points3 points ago

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You don't know what a fallacy is either.

[–]paolog 5 points6 points ago

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fallacy an idea or belief that is false but that many people think is true; a mistake in an argument or idea that makes it false

Care to explain what you mean? If the universe has always existed, then it is fallacious to think that it had a beginning.

[–]aidrocsid 0 points1 point ago

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A fallacy isn't just anything that's not true, it's an example of faulty logic. For example, cum hoc ergo propter hoc, or "comes with therefore is caused by", being an argument based on the idea that correlation implies causation. This is considered to be a logical fallacy because though it may seem true, it is not necessarily. In the same way, appeal to emotion and appeal to authority are logical fallacies. They are methods of trying to work things out that aren't based on fact.

[–]paolog 0 points1 point ago

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That's a logical fallacy, the second dictionary definition I gave. Another meaning of "fallacy" is as in the first definition.

[–]MinisterOfTheDog 1 point2 points ago

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That made me remember "In the beginning" and "Let there be light", Songs of Distant Earth by Mike Oldfield. Now I have to listen to it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]fasda 1 point2 points ago

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OH gods there is a novelty account that's trying to kill us.

[–]absentbird -2 points-1 points ago

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How is that PC? Try: This is posing what is widely considered an allegorical text as factual.

[–]InappropriateQueston -2 points-1 points ago

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Was this shot a cum shot?

[–]Antrikshy 0 points1 point ago

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No. It's a drinking game. Not a fapping one.

[–]DARTH9999 4 points5 points ago

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I would love ‫t‬o play!

[–]naker_virus 4 points5 points ago

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There might be things that are wrong in the bible, but that isn't a fallacy is it? :S

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Contradictions would have been a better choice.

[–]Eyshld21sn 2 points3 points ago

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This is possibly the funniest thing I've read all week.

[–]ErechBelmont 3 points4 points ago

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This made me laugh so hard. Thank you

[–]PossiblyTheDoctor 1 point2 points ago

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He'll just turn it into wine.

[–]ballzy 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus walks into a bar and orders a glass of water.

[–]Stupidconspiracies 1 point2 points ago

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I as a "holy crap there are Christians on Reddit!" would love a similar game when you drink when the bible contradicts itself. Irish catholics would have to give everyone the usual handicap.

[–]guntfuddler 1 point2 points ago

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where do I get some of that steaming black Jesus beer?

[–]Capercaillie 0 points1 point ago

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If you haven't been drinking all these excellent new black lagers, you're really missing out--Shiner, Sam Adams, even Guinness. Life is good.

[–]guntfuddler 0 points1 point ago

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TIL Guinness is new, and is served piping hot.

[–]Capercaillie 0 points1 point ago

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This one is new. Regular Guinness is a stout, not a lager. It might be good hot, but it's not too bad cold. Both the Shiner and the Sam Adams are better, though.

[–]Pllatinum 1 point2 points ago

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No capitalization in atheist.

[–]Noodlearmor 1 point2 points ago

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As a Christian I find this joke to be quite offen........... wait i meant hilarious. Oh Jesus what hilarious shenanigans are you going to get into this week?

[–]OverwhelmedAnt 3 points4 points ago

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MOAR

[–]RaymondAblack[S] 2 points3 points ago

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[–]frycicle 2 points3 points ago

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I can't stop laughing. fffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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It's funny because athiests don't have logical fallacies.

[–]Capercaillie 0 points1 point ago

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I downvoted because of your non sequitur, then changed to upvote because of your awesome nic. But you're walking on thin ice, here.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]jedifrog 0 points1 point ago

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go jebus!

[–]RaymondAblack[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Jebus H. Crackers!

[–]ConstipatedNinja 0 points1 point ago

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One of my friends in high school was adamant that the H is Jesus H Christ stood for Hoctavio.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This is very unrelated but I have to say, thank you for this post. I sort of hit a wall today while writing a novel for the NaNoWriMo thingy. Seeing Jesus helped me. I guess I should be thanking Jesus, too, except I'm an atheist.

[–]Saerain 0 points1 point ago

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Excellent double entendre.

[–]ballzy 0 points1 point ago

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fellacious shot

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You'd die of alcohol poisoning before you got through Genesis.

[–]Turok1134 0 points1 point ago

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Women, reading? Now that's hilarious!

[–]feebl 0 points1 point ago

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Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?

He has holes in his feet.

[–]Box-Monkey 0 points1 point ago

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Why does Beer with Jesus have a coffee cup - presumably filled with hot coffee - underneath Jesus in the first panel?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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TIL: Most people here don't know what a fallacy is, apparently.

[–]cumholio 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus looks a bit like Chuck Norris in this one. I'm not sure this is a coincidence.

[–]RaveRaptor 0 points1 point ago

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Haha... 777 karma when I read this.

[–]chilltem 0 points1 point ago

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It's alright, Jesus can just turn the alcohol into water... sneaky bastard

[–]Gustomucho 0 points1 point ago

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What, you are telling me some people didn't follow the god's instruction when they wrote the bible?

[–]technosasquatch 0 points1 point ago

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This belongs on a shirt, Shut Up And Take My Money!

[–]Myflyisbreezy 0 points1 point ago

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Is that Jesus or Keanu Reeves?

[–]anusbomber 0 points1 point ago

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jesus jokes, jesús hoax

[–]kdar -1 points0 points ago

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Did he turn the coffee to alcohol?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Clearly it was a fine porter served in its traditional "porter mug" or as we call them guia gilaeth gilaaado.

[–]Sergeantenjay 0 points1 point ago

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[–]nekrozion 0 points1 point ago

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Where is the joke?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Jesus was against a lot of what was said in the old testament and was killed in part because of that. Also, he loved drinking. This isn't an atheist joke but a joke about the fallacies of the bible. I love reddit but everytime I hear you share those types of jokes I can only think, poor people of the USA who always confuse the philosophical concept of God with the stories of one book...

[–]gaga_ooh_lala 11 points12 points ago

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  1. Explain an obvious joke.
  2. Bash USA.
  3. Profit?

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

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no profit there, just had to say, and it's not about bashing the USA but about a debate which is long over in most nations that have thinkers, but, for some reason (probably because of Dawkins (which isn't american but fuels a debate between scientists and dogmatic christians), which in my mind isn't a scientist, even if I'm an anthropologist), in this nation this debate keeps on existing and I see stupids arguments from both sides, and a kind of melodramatic bashing of the concept of God but always from an angle that is related to such a limited definition of God that it just annoys me...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I have no idea what you're talking about, probably because english isn't my first language...

[–]thatpaulbloke 1 point2 points ago

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What Jesus was for or against depended on who was writing at the time; he had no opinions of his own because there is no "Gospel of Jesus".

[–]Capercaillie 0 points1 point ago

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Poor chromaphone who thinks atheists give a shit about the difference between the philosphical concept of God and the stories of one book.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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fantastic, precisely my point, you guys are just against a certain dogmatic thing and are dogmatic about it, you don't think further then this, so, of course, I don't give a fuck about your opinions!

[–]Capercaillie 0 points1 point ago

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There's no need to think further about it. It's like arguing over when Harry Potter's dad's birthday is.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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I guess my opinion is that instead of being fervent atheist, a more scientific position is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agnosticism and that this section of reddit sounds like the dogmatic religion of atheist, CONVINCED that there is no God, although this clearly is something so hard to KNOW, that it is in my ears as annoying to you as a fervent theist probably is... you guys sound dogmatic, and this isn't about this specific post... can we block a reddit subsection from the main page for us not to see it?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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as as scientist I'm an agnostic, as for my own personal experience through meditation, I tend to think there is 'something', so I don't reject the hypothesis... I guess you could say I'm an agnostic since I'm not sure how to define any of this, what I say is simply that I think atheist are as dogmatic as religious people, so to me, you're the same type of dumb shit... of course, you think I'm religious because I despise atheist, but that's because you see everything in black and white through a very limited mind...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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I'm all for witty or funny comics and pictures, but can we make sure that they're actually witty or funny? This is just incredibly stupid.

[–]glandyover -1 points0 points ago

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But I thought jokes were supposed to be funny.

[–]cinnamonandgravy -2 points-1 points ago

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i wonder how old the word 'fallacy' is.

id love to explain it to the authors.