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all 89 comments

[–]Urectum_2620 162 points163 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

Only 609 years to go before these awful jokes go away.

[–]lefthandpisces 91 points92 points ago

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Thank you, Urectum_2620, for clearing that one up.

[–]sugavan 1 point2 points ago

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I am a left handed pisces too! But I am looney

[–]Radico87 6 points7 points ago

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Oh they'll just go deeper.

[–]sithman25 1 point2 points ago

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what happens?

[–]tad 9 points10 points ago

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War was beginning.

[–]sithman25 1 point2 points ago

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?

[–]tad 5 points6 points ago

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!!

[–]robisodd 6 points7 points ago

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Futurama: A Big Piece of Garbage


Fry: Did you build the Smelloscope?

Professor Farnsworth: No, I remembered that I'd built one last year. Go ahead, try it. You'll find that every heavenly body has its own particular scent. Here, I'll point it at Jupiter.

Fry: Smells like strawberries.

Professor Farnsworth: Exactly. And now, Saturn.

Fry: Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great... hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus.

Leela: I don't get it.

Professor Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.

Fry: Oh. What's it called now?

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Urrectum.

[–]sithman25 0 points1 point ago

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thanks!

[–]NeedsMoreCrazy 0 points1 point ago

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A space laser is deployed on Neptune by the inhabitants of venus, thus showing all those whiny planets who is the BOSS.

[–]RupertDurden 8 points9 points ago

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I hear Uranus is big and gassy.

[–]ScarlettTakesATumble 23 points24 points ago

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Wrong. I am painfully aware when my anus takes a pounding. Even if it's not until the morning after.

[–]Siethron 6 points7 points ago

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yeah but you don't know how many times it took a pounding

[–]ScarlettTakesATumble 11 points12 points ago

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True. Roofies are a hell of a drug.

[–]n27k 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know why they call 'em roofies. You more likely to end up on the floor than the roof! Why don't they call them "floories" or better yet, "rapeys"!

[–]Ansem495 2 points3 points ago

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I see what they did there

[–]seeyourintentions 1 point2 points ago

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It was brutal, they just wouldn't stop.

[–]xblacklabel91 11 points12 points ago

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The reposts, make them stop.

[–]aMANescape 3 points4 points ago

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Pictured: Khloe Kardash

[–]Tendow 3 points4 points ago

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We seriously need to start thinking about renaming that planet.

[–]Journalisto 11 points12 points ago

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At least if it was heranus instead, because uranus stinks.

[–]Jackle13 0 points1 point ago

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My science teacher calls it 'YUR-an-us' instead of 'yur-AY-nus', because apparently Uranus is too funny.

[–]paolog 0 points1 point ago

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Don't worry - serious astronomers pronounce it "YOO-ruh-nuhs".

[–]poisondwarf[!] -1 points0 points ago

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How about 'Urectum'?

[–]chinchilla618 1 point2 points ago

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Wow! What a totally amazing excellent discovery!

[–]olygimp 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks for taking an old post and reducing any redeeming elements from it by removing the actual article.

[–]FluffyPancake 1 point2 points ago

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Just like yo' mama!

[–]dimsedk 4 points5 points ago*

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It's like we turned our clocks back one month.

Edit: Link to article. Not the same article.

[–]Goofychems 3 points4 points ago

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Jupiter not start a pun thread.

[–]tommywantwingies 9 points10 points ago

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Once a pun thread is started you really have to comet yourself to it.

[–]OmegaArcadia 5 points6 points ago

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But they really eclipse the actual content.

[–]Journalisto 5 points6 points ago

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Wait, I was spaced out. Let me put down this Mars bar and Neptune in.

[–]Michichael -4 points-3 points ago

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Shit, hadn't you heard? The found Mercury in the chocolate! Get to the doctor!

[–]MedievalKnieval 19 points20 points ago

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This pun thread sucks.

[–]LettersFromTheSky -1 points0 points ago

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And can get out of hand without some gravity.

[–]dimsedk -3 points-2 points ago

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Maybe you will, but astronaut me.

Sigh.

[–]dimsedk -4 points-3 points ago

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I'll put a man on Uranus if another pun follows.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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When it comes to space puns, universe say never.

[–]Technoslave -5 points-4 points ago

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Not if Pluto what is good for you.

too soon?

[–]hurderpderp 1 point2 points ago

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What do the starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? Both circle Uranus in search of Klingons.

[–]OleDaneBoy 0 points1 point ago

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God dammit I knew something was going on over there.

I love that this schoolhouse joke still gets me

[–]orlin002 0 points1 point ago

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the sad/funny thing is, it took me a few seconds to get it. I was trying to see where Uranus was getting the pounding.

And I wanted to scroll down to read to article.

[–]PandaC 0 points1 point ago

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Omg. In the time that I've been here, this is the first thing that literally made me tear up while laughing historically.

That last one was an autocorrect typo. Left it.

[–]Kevbot36 1 point2 points ago

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I will remember your laughter for a very long time

[–]stupidisawayoflife 0 points1 point ago

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That was excellent. Nice work!

[–]_PartyNerd 0 points1 point ago

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not gonna downvote but the person who made this awesome joke also wrote an informative article. Win win http://dvice.com/archives/2011/10/we-now-know-why.php

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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What's up, Harry? Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?

[–]wolfman1214 0 points1 point ago

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...I'm afraid.

[–]Avlonzero 0 points1 point ago

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I xposted my GF's wall.

[–]BomberJjr 0 points1 point ago

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Bow chicka wow wow!

[–]bunny1979 0 points1 point ago

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Giggity

[–]giggity 0 points1 point ago

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I'll allow it.

[–]mexicutioner124 0 points1 point ago

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[–]madgeniusdamian 0 points1 point ago

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You know you're hipsterish when you've seen it before Reddit.

[–]uglymittens 0 points1 point ago

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So juvenile i know... but i giggle every damn time

[–]Timepotato 0 points1 point ago

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Working in a planetarium has made these jokes forever funny.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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My 8th grade science teacher pronounced it as "Uranis." We would laugh about it all the time.

[–]egamer01 0 points1 point ago

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if your interested link to the original article.

[–]graogrim 0 points1 point ago

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I'm expecting to soon see this linked by George Takei.

[–]unjustifiably_angry 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously, Commander?

[–]woooooh 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Th3_Hegemon 0 points1 point ago

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This joke has been done (by me) before

[–]Brettersson 0 points1 point ago

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should have checked to see if it was coming from r/space or not

[–]7nights 0 points1 point ago

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If only this was true...

Edit: wait... shit...

[–]roberto32 0 points1 point ago

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old repost

[–]wateravenuecoffee[S] 5 points6 points ago

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[–]MedievalKnieval 1 point2 points ago

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DOUBLE IMPACT!

[–]ThreeHolePunch -1 points0 points ago

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Thank you for finally making me realise I need to unsubscribe from this subreddit. This is a dumb joke that should never have passed muster. You guys are retired. Good bye.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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Thank god for my pension!

[–]gadios -3 points-2 points ago

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Insert irrelevant sexual joke [here]

[–]MedievalKnieval 2 points3 points ago

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heh "insert"

[–]TheCons -2 points-1 points ago

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I'm a proponent of the whole "Let's take it easy on the reposters because not all of us spend every waking moment on Reddit" but let's be honest here.

This joke was posted every fucking waking minute for days.

[–]sje46 1 point2 points ago

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I spend every waking minute on reddit, and I haven't seen it yet.

[–]mqduck -1 points0 points ago

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[–]TheCons 0 points1 point ago

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I'm talking about this, genius.

That's just searching for the actual source link. It was reuploaded about a dozen times in a few days to various image hosting sites like imgur/imageshack and under different titles. So using that underdeveloped beta website for a specific image isn't going to give you anywhere near a realistic idea of how much this was posted.

[–]monstereddit -1 points0 points ago

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Haven't lol'd out loud for a while, thanks :D

[–]Luung 0 points1 point ago

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You haven't laughed out loud out loud for a while.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Treebeezy -1 points0 points ago

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I died when I saw that article..a few wewks ago. Shoulda harvested it for karma

[–]Autogrex -1 points0 points ago

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You ever thing astrologists make headlines like that on purpose? Smart trolls, is what them is.

[–]dmanww 0 points1 point ago

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astronomists

[–]Autogrex 0 points1 point ago

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Chrome game me a red squiggle on that word.

[–]phil6260 -1 points0 points ago

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Last week called, they want their front page post back.

[–]bluishvaccine -1 points0 points ago

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haha this post is so funny! almost as funny as this hilarious post! I am deffinatly saving this

[–]Journalisto -2 points-1 points ago

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Sorry, but nobody takes a pounding like the 1man1jar guy. <-- notice I was nice enough not to add a link.

[–]IdTugYourBoat 0 points1 point ago

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notice I was nice enough not to add a link

And those who don't know what it is thank you. Really, though, bless your heart.

[–]54chaos45 -3 points-2 points ago

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bow chicka wow wow