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top 200 commentsshow all 312

[–]wellactuallyhmm 321 points322 points ago

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By the way, graduating and being poor doesn't feel any different.

[–]OralCulture 51 points52 points ago

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I have a bed now, but the rest are mostly the same.

[–]recneps100 22 points23 points ago

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I've never even been to college...but all of these apply to me :(

[–]whatthehelpp 1 point2 points ago

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Don't worry, YouPorn exercises your wrists.

[–]vectorix108 1 point2 points ago

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Don't worry, you're really not missing out.

[–]Brodelay 7 points8 points ago

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Wait, I graduated too...where'd you get a bed?

[–]adakis 10 points11 points ago

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I'm not that poor, just terrible at being an adult apparently.

[–]willymo 18 points19 points ago

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lol so true... so depressingly true

[–]TheTwatTwiddler 6 points7 points ago

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But at least now you have way more time to "exercise!"

[–]wellactuallyhmm 16 points17 points ago

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Actually, I went back to school. The only difference is now I live by myself rather than with roomates, now there's so much room for activities!

[–]kickassdonkey 3 points4 points ago

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In my case, just graduating doesnt change a thing. My income seems irrelevant to the condition of my life.

[–]bigtacobill 2 points3 points ago

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I have a corporate job and most of those are still true.

[–]k_dubious 2 points3 points ago

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I graduated and got a good job, and I still feel like this.

[–]Jenn215 8 points9 points ago

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Second this!

[–]KanadaKid19 67 points68 points ago

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You mean you got a dish washer?!

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points ago

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Fucking 1% has no shame.

[–]rabbyt 15 points16 points ago

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You mean you got a dish?!

[–]supasta8301 2 points3 points ago

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I stole my dishes from the dining hall right before I moved out of the dorm.

[–]croutonicus 9 points10 points ago

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As if i could afford a double cheeseburger for every meal too. That shit is far more expensive than i can afford, at least where i live.

[–]PShap 22 points23 points ago

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Thats why he made it a fancy dinner.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Mcdoubles are a dollar here

[–]Negoblle2 1 point2 points ago

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I don't even have a fucking sink to be a slob with!

[–]RheagarTargaryen 1 point2 points ago

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I'm in college and I have a dishwasher. A lot of the apartments (maybe all) at my university have them installed.

[–]seanpackage 126 points127 points ago

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Quite a long nutshell...

[–]Didub 54 points55 points ago

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Coconut.

[–]isim16 21 points22 points ago

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Protip: Coconuts are not nuts. The term coconut can refer to the entire coconut palm, the seed, or the fruit, which is not a botanical nut.

[–]wellactuallyhmm 15 points16 points ago

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Actually it's a seed!

Cocoseed doesn't sound as good though. It was a marketing ploy.

[–]ZebracurtainZ 3 points4 points ago

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God damn coconut market. She's a fickle beast

[–]SkaveRat 1 point2 points ago

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TIL

[–]wellactuallyhmm 2 points3 points ago

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I'm a veritable fountain of made up information on coconut marketing.

[–]smellycatjazz 6 points7 points ago

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TIL, that older people in the Bible Belt call Brazil Nuts "Niggertoes". As a black guy, it was too racist for me to even bother getting upset over

[–]namepickingagony 3 points4 points ago

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Protip: A lot of things referred to as nuts aren't botanically defined as nuts. Source

[–]jettrscga 4 points5 points ago

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Maybe it's more of a pod. Like peas. But nobody says "in a pod" unless they're talking about two peas.

Well I apologize, that didn't really get anywhere. I'll think it over.

[–]ZineZ[S] 1 point2 points ago

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someone below suggested that i should have chosen the name "College in a medium large sock drawer" instead. I think i concur :(

[–]fafol 58 points59 points ago

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I am 44 and I still use the dryer instead of an iron

[–]The_Hero_of_Kvatch 13 points14 points ago

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Add a wet cloth to the dryer, and works even better.

[–]forgotpassword 3 points4 points ago

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Or the towel you just dried yourself off with.

[–]frewbright 10 points11 points ago

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I'm 40 and my dryer is 3 floors down. I use Downy Wrinkle Release!

[–]slutface 5 points6 points ago

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The difference being; when you graduate, you learn the secret of misting your clothes with water beforehand.

[–]hayf 3 points4 points ago

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Explain this

[–]NeonCookies 4 points5 points ago

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It's the steam created by the mist and the heat of the dryer that actually releases wrinkles. Depending on the state of your clothes, hanging them in the bathroom while you take a nice hot shower can release wrinkles, as well. If you just throw the clothes in the dryer they will get warm but still be wrinkly.

[–]YungFurl 3 points4 points ago

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what is this off misting your clothes?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago*

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A lot of people use the dryer, I'm sure. It's just so much easier and less work. Now has anyone used an iron instead of a dryer? I misread that part and thought it meant using an iron as a substitute, which I've never done before but makes sense to me. After all, dryers are expensive and if you're poor and have to go to the laundry-mat, I can see people using that.

[–]wolvmatt 5 points6 points ago

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I've never successfully used an iron for its intended purpose. I've been using the dryer since birth.

[–]NikEy 5 points6 points ago

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what did you use an iron for then?

[–]extremethrowaway 5 points6 points ago

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[–]LeCaad9 1 point2 points ago

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was expecting this edit - spelling

[–]tangoshukudai 4 points5 points ago

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I thought we used an iron to make grilled cheese sandwiches in hotels... I never understood why my mom owned one...

[–]Osthato 3 points4 points ago

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Nah, you can just turn the toaster on its side to do that.

[–]wewtaco 28 points29 points ago

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I was not aware that it is traditional for college students to bury their dead inside of vegetables. Huh.

[–]jschem16 8 points9 points ago

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didn't get this one either.

[–]drunkmath 8 points9 points ago

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I interpreted it as a morbid fear of vegetables - avoid eating vegetables at all cost!

[–]adakis 7 points8 points ago

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I think it's saying that the fridge is where vegetables go to die. (At least that's the case in my fridge.)

[–]seagramsextradrygin 3 points4 points ago

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I thought he was implying you put your dead bodies in the vegetable crisper.. Was curious as to what his major was.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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You forgot the garlic powder. I know I'm not alone here.

[–]croutonicus 4 points5 points ago

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I don't understand this one. Real garlic tastes so much better and is actually pretty cheap. Even half a clove of garlic can give a meal so much more flavour, which works out at about 1-2p or 2-3cents a meal.

[–]ZineZ[S] 11 points12 points ago

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yes. but it takes effort -eye twitch-. I have essays to write and internets to browse. I have no time for that.

[–]Goddamn_Batman 4 points5 points ago

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How have you guys not discovered minced garlic in a jar yet, it's also comparatively cheap considering it'll take you a year to get through it!?

[–]YHZ 1 point2 points ago

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Dont forget the the cock sauce

[–]njhCasper 5 points6 points ago

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You have to cut a garlic clove, which is effort, which is abhorrent to the college student.

It's cheaper to buy groceries and make your own food rather than buying the burger and fries (and it tastes better), but a lot of people don't do that either.

[–]awesomedave680 4 points5 points ago

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don't cut, smash dat bitch!

[–]ZineZ[S] 1 point2 points ago

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. The largest extent we go to is sticking something ready made in the over. Most of the time even the kids with good hygiene cant afford to make a full meal between jobs, school work and whatever little time off they can spare.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Cooking isn't exactly rocket science, and to prefer the extremely fast over something like fresh garlic isn't such a bad thing. I usually add it to things that don't require satueing, which is the way used 99% of the time to get real flavor from the garlic. Furthermore, if you have read any recipes, even from legitimate chefs, you will occasionally find the need for garlic powder (many times in addition to fresh garlic). In certain things it is simply a better alternative to the fresh stuff. I'm not sure how your life is if you talk about shopping for groceries and cutting garlic with a snobbish undertone.

[–]whocares123 2 points3 points ago

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I think most people don't buy it because it can go bad. A bottle of garlic powder will last forever and cant go bad.

[–]croutonicus 1 point2 points ago

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Perhaps, but a "bulb" of garlic should still be good after a few months, and as i've said already, a whole one only costs about 20p or 30 cents.

[–]Drawtaru 27 points28 points ago

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What? I don't understand this. It all looks like normal every-day stuff to me, and I'm not even IN college.

[–]2abyssinians 5 points6 points ago

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Majoring in moving in to your parent's house?

[–]gangy86 28 points29 points ago

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Student Loans = Death

[–]ZineZ[S] 10 points11 points ago

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Its why im SO glad to live in Canada. 5k/year without rez (450/mo) and food. And govts lowering the 5k by another 33pct. Feels so good man

[–]carolinax 4 points5 points ago

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What college/university are you going to and what program are you in? Art school at a non-prestigious uni in my hometown was 5k a semester. Now I'm at a technical college and tuition is 13k/year and rent is 650/month :(

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago*

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I go to Lakehead (http://www.lakeheadu.ca) for Environmental Studies/Geography and pay about $6000 in yearly tuition and about another $6000 for residence ($750/mth all-inclusive).

I also spent two years at Loyalist College (http://www.loyalistcollege.com) and have a diploma in Photojournalism. There I spend about $3500 in yearly tuition and about $5000 for residence ($650/mth all-inclusive).

[–]timberbeam 1 point2 points ago

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Lakehead is an underrated university for engineering program. Im speaking as a UBC graduate btw.

[–]lurkeryloo 1 point2 points ago

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I pay under 5k for tuition a year and it's pretty awesome when I hear about my American friends who pay way more. I live in BC and take nursing.

[–]ZineZ[S] 2 points3 points ago

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York U for poli sci/intl development. Chose the uni because of the latter, one of the only Cdn schools to offer the course. But the pay scales the same everywhere in the province for almost every course. http://www40.statcan.ca/l01/cst01/educ50a-eng.htm

[–]crazy8ty8 13 points14 points ago

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I read that as "why I'm significant other glad to live in Canada". Made no sense

[–]mmPete 8 points9 points ago

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he's sorry. he's very, very sorry

[–]Sonic_Bluth 2 points3 points ago

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So, I've been wondering this for a while, but what is the purpose on reddit of using the term "SO?" At first I thought it was because people didn't want to give away the sex of their boyfriend/girlfriend, but then I saw posts where the sex of the poster and his/her significant other were plainly stated, and yet the term SO was still used.

I might be outing myself as profoundly foreveralone here, but I really don't get it. It always sounds so...clinical. Especially when initialized.

[–]BarroomBard 9 points10 points ago

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It's a handy catch-all for situations where either the gender or the exact relationship between the poster and their partner is indeterminate or inconsequential.

For example, saying "OP's SO is awesome!" is quicker and more universal than saying "OP's boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/life-partner/long term live-in fuck-buddy is awesome."

[–]LarrySDonald 2 points3 points ago

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It also predates reddit by a lot (at least popular on pre-web usenet, could easily be pre-internet). Though it sounds a little clinical at first, you get used to it ("wife" or "husband" used to have very icky connotations too at one point). Mostly there as above - there wasn't a good word for "Whomever you're romantically and/or sexually involved with to a fairly serious degree, regardless of gender, sexual preference or legal standing" and no one came up with anything better. It was/is indeed debated, but no one has come up with another catchall and now it's pretty standard.

[–]WillowLeaf 1 point2 points ago

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SO usually used for long term relationships. Something more serious than boyfriend/girlfriend, but with people who aren't actually married yet. Think people who have lived together for at least 2 years.

[–]rowantwig 2 points3 points ago

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Do you mean you get 5k/year or you pay 5k/year?

[–]carolinax 2 points3 points ago

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Definitely not get 5k a year :(

[–]ZineZ[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Pay. Undergrad is heavily subsidized by the govt and inflation is limited to 1 pct a year if i remember right.

[–]rowantwig 1 point2 points ago

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Ok because I get about 27 000 sek/year (about 4 000 usd or cad) for studying in Sweden. I'm actually making a profit, still living at home and all.

[–]DieterVonKunth 2 points3 points ago

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how does socks = shop towels?

[–]weggles 17 points18 points ago

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You've never socked a spill?

Spill something on the floor and just step on it with a sock instead of... actually cleaning?

[–]sigma89 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck no dude. That's unsanitary.

[–]Zubastuy 1 point2 points ago

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it works for me!

[–]fafol 6 points7 points ago

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fapping receptacles

[–]weggles 3 points4 points ago

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washing machine = ironing board?

[–]Fimoreth 3 points4 points ago

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the drier heats up clothes, which in turn removes any unwanted creases.

[–]laxman89er 3 points4 points ago

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Dryer. If you toss wrinkly clothes in the dryer with wet towel it will de-wrinkle in about 5-10 minutes.

[–]Snaphu 3 points4 points ago

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Who has socks that clean in college?

[–]Fimoreth 8 points9 points ago

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which is why all my socks are black

[–]JCoil4 4 points5 points ago

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Seriously. Clean, matched socks are like unicorns in college. So elusive...

[–]bob__loblaw 4 points5 points ago

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That is not a nutshell. That is a long strip of pictures.

[–]fishbowtie 5 points6 points ago

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i don't get half of those. vegetables = coffin?

[–]KarateRobot 8 points9 points ago

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In college I showered and hung up my clothes, AMA

[–]juhache 10 points11 points ago

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Am I the only one who just does not understand why people leave dirty dishes IN the sink?

I mean to actually wash them up you have to EMPTY the sink, then fill the fucking thing back up again.

It's things like this that make me fucking rage at my housemates every single day.

That and instead of emptying and overfull bin, just balancing it on fucking top.

Fuck students.

Edit: I am a student

[–]jschem16 3 points4 points ago

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The whole sink idea started because people are supposed to fill said sink with soapy water to soak the dishes in. This allows you (or them, preferably) to come back and just have to rinse and load.

Of course I still say that having all the dirty dishes in one place is a lot better than having them all over the counters.

But in a perfect world, they should just do the fucking dishes.

[–]MadeForTeaVea 1 point2 points ago

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Because if I took the time to do the dishes and take the trash out then I wouldn't have time to beat Super Mario Brothers 3 for the millionth time. And I don't want to live in a world where there is no time for that.

[–]Tenstone 1 point2 points ago

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This, a thousand times. Not only are the sinks completely full of dirt dishes and pans, but they are also blocked with food. We play buckaroo with the bin, whoever causes the landslide takes the bin out.

[–]alle0441 2 points3 points ago

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Hey now, I'm 5 years out of college, pretty well off.... The dryer still makes for a great anti-wrinkle device. I see nothing wrong with this.

[–]ManBroGuy 2 points3 points ago

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I never wanted it to end.

[–]fernguts 2 points3 points ago

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So true!

Except for the part about salt/pepper substituting for a proper spice collection. Nothing jazzes up a TV-dinner like some good spices.

[–]bobbyfiend 2 points3 points ago

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The colloquial phrase "In a nutshell" commonly refers to a message whose contents are extremely compact, involving very few individual elements. The idea, I think, is to be able to fit the entire message in a single visual glance or in a handful of seconds of audio.

Perhaps you meant to say "College in a medium-large sock drawer."

[–]ZineZ[S] 1 point2 points ago

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-nods-. I'm guessing i did. I quoted you up top namelessly as i was too lazy to scroll down to find your name :(.

[–]iamdanhi 5 points6 points ago

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[–]Captain_Apathy 4 points5 points ago

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As a senior in highschool, I feel like I'm ahead of the curve.

[–]ColonicIrritation 31 points32 points ago

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Sure, if you're an unhygienic disorganized slob with zero personal standards.

[–]Mullinator 91 points92 points ago

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Welcome to college.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]foregoneconclusion 5 points6 points ago

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The other dong is right.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Seems logical. The usual dong is typically left.

[–]laddergoat89 1 point2 points ago

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Agreed fellow cleansman.

[–]ColonicIrritation 10 points11 points ago*

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I went to college and almost none of those things happened! (although I still hang up clothes as soon as they're 90% dried so I don't have to iron them) I became semi-nocturnal and had an absurd amount of empty bottles to recycle and post-party messes to clean up but apart from that everything was as tidy as a showroom, showered daily, made semi-healthy meals etc...

[–]Mullinator 19 points20 points ago

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Hate to tell you this but I have a feeling you are going to be in a minority here.

[–]tnulitabouli 18 points19 points ago

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Hes the 1%. Get him!

[–]ColonicIrritation 2 points3 points ago

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As long as you keep on top of cleaning and have a routine, doing things like tidying, cooking, showering etc... will only use a couple of hours in your entire day, tops. (torturous to do with a hangover but you can save it for later in the day)

[–]laddergoat89 1 point2 points ago

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I was at uni for 3 years and still tried to not be a filthy slob.

I succeeded on most counts.

[–]latticusnon 8 points9 points ago

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  • Some of these are exaggerations.

  • There are not that many people to which every single one applies.

  • Take that stick out of your ass, this is /r/funny.

[–]quizh 1 point2 points ago

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Hey, as long as the mousepad is clean...

[–]Doggiestylze 1 point2 points ago

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I don't understand the cleaning supplies one? Is that guy supposed to be like a sewer worker or somthing? Or a trapped miner? What the eff?

[–]chezygo 3 points4 points ago

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Students see cleaning as being an equal task to coal mining, therefore refrain from doing it.

[–]SubMicron 1 point2 points ago

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Every single fucking thing is correct....

[–]q7q8q9q0 1 point2 points ago

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hit the gym you lazy bastards

[–]Zepode 1 point2 points ago

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If you're lazy, it is. It's not that hard to clean your space, you just have to do it...

[–]Hatsumi__x 1 point2 points ago

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so like, are you guys lacking any common sense when it comes to domestic care? Jesus Christ.

[–]BeMoreLikeMae 1 point2 points ago

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I really dislike how true this is. It's like when you start to identify with Foul Bachelor frog.

[–]mattmcinnis 1 point2 points ago

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This is poorly done.

[–]me135 1 point2 points ago

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You have a dishwasher...?

[–]S_Dub7 1 point2 points ago

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Whoa hold on a second. You have a DISHWASHER?!

[–]Eastern_Eagle 1 point2 points ago

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Can someone explain the relationship between tray of veggies and a coffin?

[–]milfordcubicle 1 point2 points ago

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vegetables = casket?

[–]bigkajamma 1 point2 points ago

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Lol'd at YouPorn

[–]SpacedJ 1 point2 points ago

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How can you compare the disgusting taste of vegetables to the delicious taste of dead people?

[–]neo7 1 point2 points ago

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Can someone explain me the thing between vegetables and a coffin?

[–]KingPharaoh 1 point2 points ago

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I see no nutshell, downvoted for misleading title.

[–]god_this_shit_again 1 point2 points ago

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[–]thinkmac 1 point2 points ago

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Missing one truth

In college, you pay to get tortured (work/exam/sleep deprivation)

After college, you get paid to get tortured (work/deadline/sleep deprivation)

[–]favoritecolor 1 point2 points ago

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I don't use shop towels to masturbate into.

[–]nosurprises76 1 point2 points ago

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RE POST

[–]Rockerdude34[!] 1 point2 points ago

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This is a repost from ~4 months ago. Why can't you people make up OC? Stealing a nameless redditor's creation for internet points? I don't understand.

[–]Franholio 1 point2 points ago

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This = repost

[–]cclementi6 1 point2 points ago

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Towels for socks?

[–]the-nashanator 5 points6 points ago

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Upvote! Just about 100% sums up my life right now...

[–]EgHead 6 points7 points ago

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Repost...

[–]GhostFish 1 point2 points ago

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Poaching clean dishes from the dishwasher is what evil, despicable, puppy murderers do.

Take the 2.5 minutes to actually fucking empty the thing, and then you won't have a sink loaded down with filth that attracts flies and the smell and appearance of your place will improve as well.

There are a million and one things you could do to improve your living situation. This is one of the absolutely easiest ones.

[–]ChubDawg420 6 points7 points ago

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dishwasher

i do not understand

[–]Radejax 1 point2 points ago

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No time for brushing teeth or shower? i always found time to brush teeth and take showers.

Then again i actually care about hygiene.

[–]ALaccountant 0 points1 point ago

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You were that smelly, awkward guy in all of my classes that no one really liked.... weren't you?

[–]fangover86 3 points4 points ago

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Not even close to my college experience.

[–]ButtSack3 0 points1 point ago

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i don't get it.. why aren't there dishes in the right sink? a dishless sink???

[–]Christopherzilla 0 points1 point ago

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umm... that's how I live and I'm not in college

[–]brokencode 0 points1 point ago

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I want to see how a rich college kid lives.

[–]ThePhantomTrollbooth 6 points7 points ago

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The same, but with slightly better food than mcdonalds, nicer clothes, and more beer.

[–]ZineZ[S] 4 points5 points ago

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Eegad. Thats what this chart needs. More beer D:

[–]nicotinedreams 2 points3 points ago

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I want to see an updated report on my desk by Monday morning.

[–]desquibnt 0 points1 point ago

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A bit old but I guess its still funny

[–]citizinpain 0 points1 point ago

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You mean masturbation ISN'T legitimate exercise? I've been living a lie...

[–]onthewayjdmba 0 points1 point ago

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I lost it at shop towels

[–]ListenToNestor 0 points1 point ago

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I was all like oh this is awesome let me show my parents so they can laugh at how I live.... then I saw the last one.

[–]INDEPENDENT505 0 points1 point ago

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PSH! I'm already prepared for this...

[–]notbusyatall 0 points1 point ago

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This is a window into the life that is college.

[–]sumofearth 0 points1 point ago

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Been at uni for 5 weeks and I've eaten healthier than home, fapped less, exercised more, and done more washing up than ever before in my life. This will probably end soon.

[–]darknecross 0 points1 point ago

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You forgot the Sriracha.

[–]mostexcellentben 0 points1 point ago

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You need to replace the salt and pepper with Nature's Seasoning.

[–]Umpalumpa47 0 points1 point ago

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College in a JPG

FTFY

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I felt releieved after seeing the excersize one, thought it was just me.

[–]Andthesuch 0 points1 point ago

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I don't understand the vegetable drawer. Is it because the vegetables die when you buy them and don't eat them?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Montaron87 0 points1 point ago

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You know there's going to be a joke at the end, and it did not dissapoint.

[–]Principincible 0 points1 point ago

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reddit=more important than anything else right now

[–]eagerbeaver1414 0 points1 point ago

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Also, being a permanent bachelor...

[–]HilarityNSuze 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed the whole way through .. thanks! :)

[–]draivaden 0 points1 point ago

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This does not reflect my college experience.

[–]kromosome 0 points1 point ago

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If you read it right to left it's how really rich people live.

Edit: eccentric rich people who worked their way up to the top by coal mining.

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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get s Slow Cooker!!

really!

[–]danintexas 0 points1 point ago

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I am 36 and married and that is more like my life in a nutshell. You know what - nothing wrong with that.

[–]MCdubbz 0 points1 point ago

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WHERE IS THE BOOZE MAN U FORGOT ABOUT THE BOOZE

[–]Droi 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, now I want McDonald's

[–]ClaytontheOssome 0 points1 point ago

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One mistake... You put vegetables in your Natty Light crisper...

[–]pahlmitchell 0 points1 point ago

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Only true if you are a snotty nosed little kid who thinks college is for hooking up, smoking out, and drinking enough to fall down.

[–]aneusoit 0 points1 point ago

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geez, what college do you go to?

[–]BrandoGoCommando 0 points1 point ago

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More like Foul Bachelor frog in a nutshell.

[–]Foxtrot56 0 points1 point ago

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Nope, you are just disgusting.

[–]dont-bother 0 points1 point ago

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why exactly is food = death

[–]CaptainCrunch 0 points1 point ago

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I think that's more like "A bachelor in his 20s in a nutshell".

[–]cookiebox123 0 points1 point ago

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I was confused with the third one

[–]timofo 0 points1 point ago

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You misspelled life

[–]assumetehposition 0 points1 point ago

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Sink = china cabinet

[–]Chronic_The_Hemphog 0 points1 point ago

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You cut to the core of me, Baxter.

[–]perfektstranger 0 points1 point ago

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This is basically a ripoff of the Drunk-O-Vision series from CollegeHumor

http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6590694/drunk-o-vision-legacy

[–]DoctorMouse 0 points1 point ago

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Holy crap I can atone for all of those things.

[–]lkviatkovski 0 points1 point ago

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Tony Chachere's > an entire spice rack

[–]Mass_Impact 0 points1 point ago

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I want to dispute this but I sadly fall into every category

[–]DaMountainDwarf 0 points1 point ago

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College to me was half dicking around, half effort on school stuff... explains my b-/c+ average...

[–]ShitMuncher 0 points1 point ago

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There is clearly not enough room in that vegetable bin for a dead body. You are silly, that is silly.

[–]Vyae 0 points1 point ago

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Most of that is untrue for me.........

Is it because I'm a commuter? I feel left out.