this post was submitted on
616 points (57% like it)
2,305 up votes 1,689 down votes

funny

subscribe2,434,840 readers

8,369 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 78 comments

[–]googooga_joob 61 points62 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fantastic

reminds me of this

[–]masfenix 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

it kinda makes sense. he wants to have a pitcher of clean water to sell so he grabs a brita and starts pouring out pitchers. But the suit, you cant explain that.

[–]evildoppleganger 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So I'm the only one who breaks out the Vader suit every time it floods? I sincerely doubt that.

[–]Thatchgasm 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

^ My vote for best picture on the interweb.

[–]lifestory 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This one... I still can't make heads or tails of what the fuck might be happening in this one.

[–]Wildtails 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This woman appears to have butt cheeks on her stomach.

[–]mrhorrible 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hi, welcome to the internet. I'd be careful with the word "woman". Try rephrasing:

"This person of inconclusive gender appears to have..."

[–]Wildtails 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ok, this person who I damn hope is a woman by the clothing appears to have butt cheeks on what I hope is HER stomach.

Better? Unless I see a bulge I'm not going to believe this is a man.

[–]humanlvl1 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, THAT is the most bizzare thing out of the picure.

[–]My-Name-Is-Thor 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A fat man has a heart attack while at a costume party.

[–]HostaMahogey 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Isn't that the opening scene of the movie Jack?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

now post the one without the useless black border added by a 4chan user

[–]FinsToTheLeft 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So from what I remember from seeing this a ways back, the situation was as follows: He had a big formal event to go to, and was either getting his suit and/or the sewing machine in the mail. If my memory is correct (may or may not be) he needed them that day, so upon hearing of a UPS truck going off the road, he asked either the driver or the police on scene if he could get his packages from on board the truck. With some proper identification, he was able to go get his packages from the truck.

Anyone have a clearer memory of the scenario of this than I do?

[–]cgarcia805 53 points54 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He was going to a wedding. Had ordered a sewing machine as gift. Gift never got there. On way to wedding sees UPS truck in ditch. Asked ups guy if he could look for package. Finds and signs for it after showing ID. Takes a picture rated 2.5 cuils.

Edit: converted measurement from wtfs/pixel to cuils.

[–]BudMasterSess 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can you convert that to Cuils for me?

[–]fuzzyhatmonster 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'd say 2.5 Cuils.

[–]cgarcia805 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why, thank you.

[–]FinsToTheLeft 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yup, that's the one. Thank you!

[–]epresident1 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why would he take a gift out of its box? Things aren't adding up here!

[–]cgarcia805 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As proof of the cuils measurement of course.

[–]Berbaw06 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He ordered the sewing machine (probably from somewhere online) to be sent to him. He would then wrap the gift and give it to the couple getting married. The box it was in was probably a UPS/Company box, not a gift box.

[–]EwokMan 0 points1 point ago

[–]Capissen38 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cuils are the official SI units, wtf/pixel is deprecated and use is discouraged.

[–]craftkiller 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You have ruined this picture for me

[–]renesisxx 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you, that would make sense. I've always wondered about this photo.

[–]dog_in_the_vent 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]2bass 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I always assumed that he was going to prom, and the sewing machine was his date. The UPS truck was just gravy.

[–]EwokMan 0 points1 point ago

http://youtu.be/CwinnODU0yo people must know

[–]phasers_to_stun 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love his face.

[–]Timthos 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think I saw this in an episode of Seinfeld.

[–]willymo 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Oh the humanity!!"

[–]Ghost-E 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Once, twice, threeee times a Lady.

[–]DZ302 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have no idea what's going on in the picture, but my first though was Newman's truck running over the sewing machine.

[–]BBMcPherson 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

posted a link on the doctors comment before I saw this.

[–]I_Care_Bears 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So many questions.... :o

[–]gkow 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Edward Cullen?

[–]curvy_lady_92 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think he named the sewing machine Bella.

[–]ghostbackwards 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"tell her to sew this"

[–]tgifriday12 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I found this picture years ago by typing 'random' into a google image search. I fell in love with random that day..

[–]TehBigDortyShnakeh 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Context?

[–]Capissen38 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This picture needs some.

[–]writeshittynarrative -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That bloke was happily walking to prom in his new tux when he suddenly stumbled across a sewing machine in middle of the road. Being a man of inquisitive nature, he walked over to the abandoned sewing machine and bent over to pick up the machine. At the same time, Bob, the UPS truck driver was running late for his delivery. He knew he should be going 25 mph because the road was curvy and there was a river next to him. But against his better decision, he decided to go 40 mph, because boobs. Long story short, as Bob made that corner, he saw a dumbass kid in tuxedo bent over in the road and when he realized he had no time to stop, he bravely veered his truck into the river, saving the kid's life. The kid decided to commemorate this day by taking this picture.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In one of the last threads with this pic, someone had a really good possible explanation, can't find it though.

[–]DudeNudem 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'll bring her a sewing machine instead of flowers - bitches love sewing machines.

[–]MrChildren 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

One of my favorites, and possibly the only reaction image you would ever need on the world wide web. My face when

[–]singlewhammy 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Gentleman in the picture is now a fairly well known computational geometer.

[–]dbf1256 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The sewing machine is clearly for his prom date he is about to pick up. He is just starting to domesticate her early.

[–]TheDoctorXI 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I spent a minute or so trying to relate the appliance to the crime... It didn't work.

[–]BBMcPherson 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]upievotie5 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Boy laugh tracks are really annoying.

[–]chiggins89 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Good work, McPherso- I'm sorry, Detective McPherson!

[–]squ33ky 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

that creepy grin on his face will forever make me laugh.

[–]shoziku 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"yeah, I got my fargin sewing machine! screw you guys!"

[–]CalfAssed 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Looks like the guy from marblehornets.

[–]badam104172 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm commander Shepard and this is my favorite picture on the internet.

[–]Gagenwebb 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There is a completely understandable story behind this.

[–]ArrowHound 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You cant explain it.

[–]Miss-anthropic 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

so many questions....

[–]runfromtheraptor 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

many wtf's were had that day.

[–]jamesbarbour 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

SOON

[–]voldemortoutbitches 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Theres just so much happening.

[–]Fignewton5 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So many questions left unanswered...

[–]furtiveraccoon 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Still my favourite picture on the internet

Sew what?

[–]WhatThe____ 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I sew what your doing there

[–]3rdParty2012 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The blender makes it.

[–]Tbau5 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not a blender, sewing machine.

Edit: A sowing machine would have been even more awesome though.

[–]evil_steve 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My brain: '... Cannot compute"

[–]PCsNBaseball 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How the fuck is he holding that sewing machine?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

With his hand.

[–]PCsNBaseball 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Normally, you have to hand your hand underneath something to hold it. And I've never seen a sewing machine with a handle, and if there is one, he's holding it by like his fingertips, the way his hand is. Which is a just plain odd way to hold it.

[–]telegrams 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

my sewing machine has a handle! this one doesn't look like it has one, though...

[–]Realworld 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My sturdy old Singer 301a has a handle and needs it.

[–]alaughinmoose 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wait, are you telling me this photo is shopped?

[–]robotshoelaces 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, the handle is in the back of the upper part of the machine. It's more of a finger ledge.

[–]Musekal 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I used to sell sewing machines. Most of them have flip up handles.

[–]Jaylez -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I laughed so hard I cried for 5 minutes and my friend left the skype call because I was annoying him.

[–]punarvasu -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

noooooooooooooooooo

that's like somebody killing santa or something!