this post was submitted on
449 points (57% like it)
1,804 up votes 1,355 down votes

funny

subscribe2,234,552 readers

No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 110 comments

[–]t43t34ji23l32l 94 points95 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you sound fat

[–]Nerdtendo 35 points36 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The capitalization of "exactly" was unintended, his pinky just happened to be weighing down the shift key.

[–]I_MOLEST_CHILDREN 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Or his breathing.

[–]Nerdtendo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Perhaps he found his Twinky right after the y?

[–]Scruffy_Gunman 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As a former obese person. Fuck you sir. OP is a genius. I see your jealously.

[–]Nerdtendo 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

OP isn't responsible for the pizza. He's said as much.

Also, as an individual who's never weighed more than 170 lbs, Nutella on banana bread is fucking delicious. Go try it.

[–]Scruffy_Gunman 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I cannot. My metabolism would just pack up and walk out the door.

[–]Nerdtendo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you beat your metabolism to the door, it won't be a problem!

I constantly get annoyed at co-workers... they talk about how they were late to work because they were waiting on the shuttle bus, and I say "I walked passed you while you were waiting, and I was on time." The most annoying part is that they often respond with something like "Well, you can walk up that hill, you're in shape!"

No assholes, I'm not walking up the hill because I'm in shape. I'm in shape because I'm walking up the hill.

/rant

Anyways, go enjoy yourself a slice of banana bread with Nutella, then go for a walk. It's important to pay attention to your health, and to be aware of your metabolism... But it's also important to enjoy life. This is the only one you get.

[–]Ent_angled 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It is indeed amazing, if I don't have nutella I usually go with a thin layer of peanut butter and some chocolate chips.

[–]pero_porque 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes he does sound fat which automatically makes us better than him

[–]Acute_Aneurysm 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Read is Beavis's voice.

[–]zarraha 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you're eating them both anyways, putting one on top of the other doesn't change the amount of calories.

[–]inkandpaperguy 38 points39 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That combination of food items, textures & flavours seems disgusting!

[–]alwc37 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As somebody who has bought that double pack I can tell you even when eaten apart its disgusting. By far some of the worst pizza I have ever had, cookies were so so.

[–]NELyon 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The cookies are the same ones you get in the Nestle tubes of dough, aren't they? Those things are amazing.

[–]homer_3 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can tell you from experience, it is awful.

[–]Pastyourbedtime 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Maybe I'm just really hungry, but that looks kind of good

[–]VoodooPygmy 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this is a perfect example of how 2 rights can make a wrong

[–]TaintedSquirrel 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Holy shit that's an awesome baking tray.

[–]junipe 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's not delivery! It's diabetes.

[–]AudioTekz 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this should be in r/trees

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's exactly what I came here to say. Stoner's dream food.

[–]pittles 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nope, need grapes. The ultimate anti-cotton mouth food.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I stand corrected!

[–]sourgiesel 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I had the exact same thought. Then immediately became enraged that someone thought of it before me...fffffffuuuuuuuuuu

[–]Parkmayn -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

FUCK YES

[–]beamoflaser -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I thought this was trees.

[–]PandemicPlague 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Brb going to puke.

[–]damn_all_names 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You do realize people will put ketchup on that... I'm joining you.

[–]PandemicPlague 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

LOL

[–]SkinnedAlive 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You gonna eat that?

[–]tuxxi 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"it's not DiGiorno, it's DiSgusting

[–]SometimesY 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's not delivery, it's disgusting.

[–]johnegold 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

wackkkyyyy!!!!!

[–]Snookis_BF 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm guessing you're stoned.

[–]Thergal 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

that looks disgusting

[–]Crackillsbaby 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have a feeling r/Trees would enjoy this quite a bit.

[–]zandwich 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. There are adults not in africa that would have made 2 full meals out of that and then played starcraft for 9 hours straight.

[–]RaincloudThursday 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, how was it?

[–]ChrisBarnick[S] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wasn't the one who cooked this, ahem, "masterpiece". I assume it was terrible, considering it was taken out of the oven early at the site of the cookies being burnt, so the pizza probably isn't even cooked all the way.

[–]RaincloudThursday 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I see. Since I'm intolerant to wheat, I am more than happy to have that excuse to use in case someone offered that to me. Unless I was drunk. Drunk me is stupid. Last week I went to a pizza buffet. That was a really bad idea.

Anyway I find the cookie pizza absurdly funny so upvotes for you.

[–]fooler2 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Drunk RaincloudThursday sounds like a pretty cool person.

[–]Corund 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Drunk RaincloudThursday sounds like someone who spends several hours on the toilet/cleaning underwear after/during a drunk night out.

[–]hackedyasack 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Tried it. Terrible. I was crushed.

[–]SyncOne 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know if hackedyasack was the one who did this, but someone else posted a similar picture of the same product (cookies on pizza) and said it tasted pretty bad.

[–]PCLOAD_LETTER -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]Papper 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Heh, one is only the beginning.

Congrats on the thirteenth repost I guess: http://karmadecay.com/i.imgur.com/YMt4r.jpg

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There's actually such a thing as a cookie pizza. You should look it up.

[–]DecimusValorum 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Eeeeew YUK! that can't be a tasty combination?

[–]hosteluser[!] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

been there, done than... when this was new

[–]lookieausername 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It does not look tasty... Is it?

[–]slackinfux 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So how did that taste?

[–]skippyG 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't think it means what you think it means.

[–]authorless 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Turtle power!

[–]idacalledyouwoodyjoe 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh my god. Oh my god. I have the same pan! With the holes!

[–]iesvs 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's not delivery, it's regurgitation!

[–]bigmeech 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

hmm how did i know what it was before i clicked?

oh yeah, repost

[–]luna547 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You ruined it

[–]CruiserHopeful 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This entire package is pretty small, personally I could eat the entire thing with a few glasses of soda and be happy.

The entire package also has 2,780 calories.

for one meal.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS

[–]msmegc 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That should be posted to trees.

[–]gangy86 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How was it?

[–]Jamza 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

WHY.

[–]reeelax 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Someone should post this to r/trees.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My boyfriend and I did this!

...we didn't move for the next three hours

[–]AmericanTourist69 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is it the convenience factor that keeps the frozen pizza industry alive or the laziness to eat healthy?

[–]semper_fly 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

...no stuffed crust?

you get the fuck out of here. GET HIM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!!!

[–]thepico 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are... Are you a wizard?

[–]manicapathy 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Next level cookie/pizza maneuver

[–]SJJ1960 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yuck

[–]sodiumNA11 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

At first I thought your pepperoni was rancid.

[–]gnarlysaurus 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just puked in my mouth.

[–]Axoren 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You should probably not look straight up while puking.

[–]gnarlysaurus 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Unless you're trying to savor it.

[–]Axoren 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think I just puked in your mouth, too.

[–]gnarlysaurus 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

again! again!

[–]Axoren 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Next, we bake pepperoni cookies with a side of breadsticks!

[–]03Titanium 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HEEYYYY. IT'S NOT DELIVERYY!!! IT'S DIGIORNO!!!

[–]03Titanium 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can someone please link the "man yelling at trucks" video.

[–]arghnard 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Shoulda gone with: Your argument is invalid. ftfy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're doing it wrong ... ah fuck it, give me a slice!!!

[–]Rubber_Shit_Monster 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think Shaggy Rogers started this trend.

[–]pordante 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Um, when I saw this ad for pizza and cookies, I immediately thought that the cookies were supposed to go on the pizza because of how fat America has become.

So this picture has reaffirmed my beliefs and ideas. Thank you.

[–]danielvutran -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

kill it with fire

[–]InstaBonch -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

blahblahblah...knowthepersonwhodidthis...blahblahblah....brother...blahblahblah..sorryforwastingyourtime....blahblahblah..justtryingtoimpressyou

[–]iesvs 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If the scrollbar appears under your comment, chances are you're a complete moron. No kindly shut up and go back to your Pokemon.

[–]InstaBonch -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

hurrdurr Tell me something I don't know.

[–]iesvs 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You will never achieve anything in life.

[–]InstaBonch 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Guess what? I already didn't!

[–]hollyt31 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This was on the Tosh.0 blog a long time ago...copy cat.