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all 189 comments

[–][deleted] 137 points138 points ago

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Sousaphone!

[–]BigDaddyRos 9 points10 points ago

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Relevant: Sousapwned! Skip to 2:40

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EevMBTQpV4U

[–]jcroucher56 2 points3 points ago

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I wish it sucked the cameraman in.

[–]MedurraObrongata 0 points1 point ago

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someone make a GIF out of this. i lol'd

[–]liveryowl 23 points24 points ago

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I'll call her back!

[–]Howard_Beale 2 points3 points ago

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Are you saying that the guy with the sousaphone isn't a tuba player? A sousaphone is a tuba.

[–]Frekavichk 1 point2 points ago

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You can call a Soudaphone, Contra, oor Tuba player a Tuba player.

[–]ThyZAD 3 points4 points ago

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Phantom Limb?

[–]alexmonstar 2 points3 points ago

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A sousaphone is a type of tuba.

[–]drummererb 4 points5 points ago

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YOU KNOW WHAT?! THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY!

[–]Del_Felesif 0 points1 point ago

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Gonna literally post the exact same word. Crazy.

[–]SolemnPutty 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted for being exactly what I was going to say minus a few expletives.

[–]nonnein -2 points-1 points ago

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[–]M00NINITE -1 points0 points ago

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[–]familyturtle -3 points-2 points ago

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God's weirdest creation.

[–]GT_Wallace -3 points-2 points ago

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[–]ToastIsWoosh 33 points34 points ago

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The video's funnier. The kid hits the ground right when there's a cymbal crash.

[–]stinkinrich88 13 points14 points ago

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...So post the video!

[–]ToastIsWoosh 38 points39 points ago

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[–]timelighter 5 points6 points ago

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Oh my gosh, I've seen the .gif for years and years and never see the actual video. So perfect.

[–]drummererb 4 points5 points ago

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That perfectly timed cymbal crash almost makes me wonder if the audio wasn't doctored. Still fucking hilarious though.

[–]stinkinrich88 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you!!

[–]MarioisKewl 7 points8 points ago

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ask and you shall receive

[–]stinkinrich88 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you!!

[–]jcroucher56 0 points1 point ago

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That was so perfectly timed, I'm half amazed it wasn't staged. And the fact that all the other instruments stop for that split second, too.

[–]msblaster 3 points4 points ago

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Love how the player that tripped him seemed to take a little bow after the kid ran off!

[–]Ikimasen 0 points1 point ago

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"Victory squat" as the comments called it.

[–]smellycatjazz -1 points0 points ago

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He show have never broken the formation. If someone breaks the line you have permission run their ass over, whether it be a random pedestrian or another band-mate going the wrong way. No matter what, don't break formation

[–]OnyxPenguin 75 points76 points ago

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You NEVER cross a parade block. We were told that if someone tried to cut through we could hit them with our instruments and step on them.

[–]animalcule 20 points21 points ago

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That makes sense. At first I was angry that they would just trip a kid like that, but I see that running through their formation would really screw them up.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]cuddlyogre 13 points14 points ago

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It wasn't assault. The kid just didn't stick the landing. The parents deserved an actual assaulting.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]cuddlyogre 13 points14 points ago

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I get along really good with kids and I give them the entire world when it comes to the benefit of the doubt. There is no reason that kid should have been where he was if the parent's were even paying the smallest amount of attention.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sinterfield24 12 points13 points ago

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The kid sorta ran into his foot.

[–]Russz 4 points5 points ago

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That was hardly assaulting a minor.

[–]alexmonstar 3 points4 points ago

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In particularly rowdy areas we usually take out our mouth pieces so we have something to jab at people (the butt end of the piece).

[–]OnyxPenguin 1 point2 points ago

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Haha, nice. I played flute so I was usually first or second row of the parade block right behind the drum majors. Once saw I guy get beaned in the head with the end of one of their maces. He was drunk and trying to cut through the parade block while they were spinning. Not so bright.

[–]Viin -1 points0 points ago

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I've done that...while carrying a contra...the smile on my face was amazing.

[–]BlueHawke 0 points1 point ago

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So much better in the drumline.

I smashed some fucker's fingers with a rimshot when he was all like "yo brah, let me play you some dumbass 'beat'"

[–]Viin 1 point2 points ago

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Idk man smashing someone's head with a quick snap from horns up.

[–]Wind789 75 points76 points ago

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Kid deserved it. If he had hit someone's instrument it could break their teeth or cut their lip open.

[–]sathka 50 points51 points ago

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Or harm the instrument in some way.

[–]dmcnelly 69 points70 points ago

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A good brass sousaphone is about $7k. You can make kids for the cost of a few drinks and a hotel room.

[–]ForgettableUsername 21 points22 points ago

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Who needs good drinks? Or a hotel room, for that matter?

[–]dmcnelly 17 points18 points ago

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Fine, a bottle of blue Hawaiian Punch, a lemon wedge, and a vase.

It's called placebo effect.

[–]sathka 11 points12 points ago

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It comes in blue, now? Go-lly mister, that's some fancy drink.

[–]ForgettableUsername 2 points3 points ago

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I didn't know Hawaiian punch came in blue... Is that a new thing or was it always like that?

[–]dmcnelly 0 points1 point ago

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It's been like that since I can remember. So, at least twenty years or so.

[–]ForgettableUsername 0 points1 point ago

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So it's a new thing?

[–]dmcnelly 3 points4 points ago

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Yes. New for 1993, the Mercury Villager.

It's a minivan that drives like a car!

Coming September 24th, 1992.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It might say Mercury, but under the hood is Nissan Powah and it showed.

[–]db0255 23 points24 points ago

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Second this. Brass instruments' mouthpieces are nothing to fuck around with. If you're playing it, and somebody hits the instrument, it's like taking a hammer to the teeth almost.

[–]BrianAllred 6 points7 points ago

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And when you have braces? shudder

It's like taking sharp teeth to the inside of your lips very slowly and tortuously even to play. Then when your instrument is hit, it's like daggers going "LOOK, INSIDE LIP FLESH, LET'S STAB IT."

I hated my first four years on the trumpet...

[–]db0255 -1 points0 points ago

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This.

[–]schroefoe 1 point2 points ago

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We had a 2x2 two marching block pass-through in one of our shows. It lasted until a head injury when a baritone got his scalp sliced open by a tuba bell and my gums got ripped open and a tooth nearly knocked out when my mouthpiece slammed into my face from someone's shoulder to the bell. You learn pretty quickly when marching tight formations that there is nothing protecting your mouth from that metal lump besides a thin veil of flesh.

[–]db0255 0 points1 point ago

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Exactly. It's like a hammer to an anvil.

[–]HammerJack 30 points31 points ago

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This post always ends the same way,

  • People who were raised by parents that believed that you got what you deserved find it funny
  • Most people in marching bands find it funny, cause you don't fuck with the band
  • and then there are people freaking out that a kid tripped like it's the end of the world.

[–]zeppelinfromled 8 points9 points ago

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I think all three of those things, more or less. I think the kid got what he deserved, he shouldn't have been fucking with the band, and that the guy shouldn't have tripped the kid.

[–]themj12 0 points1 point ago

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"...and that the guy shouldn't have tripped the kid." So, you don't think he got what he deserved then?

[–]zeppelinfromled 9 points10 points ago

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No, I think he got what he deserved and the guy shouldn't have done it. Not every situation has someone who is right and someone who is wrong.

[–]AnEnglishGentleman 2 points3 points ago

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People in the third category clearly haven't seen the video where the kid immediately gets up and carries on running.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The ends justify the means?

[–]Tetha 1 point2 points ago

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The absense of injuries and crying justifies the means.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Have you been in a marching band? Because I have a nice chipped tooth and a scarred lips because some fuckass little kids decided he wanted to run through and no one stopped him. That shit is dangerous and that kids parent should have been watching him.

[–]Vladger 9 points10 points ago

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The kid KNEW what he was doing, he gets close slowly then breaks out in a full run, where the FUCK are his parents?!

[–]DeathBuffalo 31 points32 points ago

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"Who's that faggot with tha TUBA?" "That's our dad..."

[–]confirms_your_post 9 points10 points ago

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fuck salt!

[–]shaft0 13 points14 points ago*

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Aw BOB SAGET!

[–]gopens71 6 points7 points ago

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You can't do SHIT without your BALLS!!

[–]bigsol81 4 points5 points ago

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You're getting downvoted because people don't get the joke.

PISS!

[–]lemonstar 1 point2 points ago

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[–]jasontaylor6035 3 points4 points ago

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Sousaphone*

[–]slumberday 4 points5 points ago

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its what the kid gets for breaking through troop like that

[–]Siffel 16 points17 points ago

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As a six year member of marching bands, I find this to be the best kind of satisfying.

[–]17Hongo 4 points5 points ago

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yeah ... that's a sousaphone. pretty much as badass as a tuba, but built so you can walk around and play it.

[–]loopb 2 points3 points ago

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Video link source original mirror youtube

[–]WartOnTrevor 2 points3 points ago

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Downvoting everything rednekredux posted in this thread is exhausting!

[–]therealpsychx 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, same with: HonTakuan

[–]alexmonstar 4 points5 points ago

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USC tuba here. No one crosses through the band. No one.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]alexmonstar 0 points1 point ago

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Never said the band was tough, that's just a rule. Half of our band is engineering majors, we're well aware of our nerdiness.

[–]pagemaster017 1 point2 points ago

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Win

[–]DJ_Don_Quixote 1 point2 points ago

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he could feign that he thought the band was stepping off, but then again, he walked with his right foot.

[–]grahvity 1 point2 points ago

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Meh, 75% of them won't do a thing.

[–]ls1003 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a tuba player, and that's a Sousaphone.

[–]Punkgoblin 0 points1 point ago

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Foolish child, taste my wrath!

[–]MRMAGOOONTHE5 0 points1 point ago

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Are they wearing spats? A ballsy move unless they have the feet of gods.

[–]JKELL 0 points1 point ago

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Or a sousaphone player

[–]jettbalasko 0 points1 point ago

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Keeping in mind that bruises will heal but lessons will last forever, I give this two thumbs up!

[–]passwordFolds 0 points1 point ago

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Actually, that's a sousaphone.

[–]Kamenosuke 0 points1 point ago

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Too bad it's a Sousaphone.

[–]nquinn91 0 points1 point ago

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NO ONE BREAKS RANK

[–]cippo25 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking repost. >:(

[–]PsychoBugler 0 points1 point ago

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This is horrible and doesn't even do the situation justice. The funniest part of the video was when the kid hits the ground with his face exactly during a cadential cymbal crash. Fricking hilarious.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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and what have we taken away from this: It is OK to hurt small children so long as you are wearing a uniform and in a large group.

[–]carnivoris -1 points0 points ago

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reposted for the fucking billionth time

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]doyoumrjones 4 points5 points ago

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Get off reddit.

[–]reddit932 4 points5 points ago

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Hey it worked, how'd you do that?

[–]Kethol -1 points0 points ago

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People need to realize that video is very fake. I mean he steps off with his right foot.

[–]dontcallitthat 5 points6 points ago

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The Cadets step off with their right foot, so might some other bands.

[–]discretion 2 points3 points ago

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Shoulda bell-dipped his punk ass.

[–]tubabacon 1 point2 points ago

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I don't think people understood your joke

[–]Kethol 1 point2 points ago

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Well at least someone did.

[–]Ryanzors -1 points0 points ago

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I read failblog, too!

[–]koewuzhere -1 points0 points ago

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That's funny but so mean! Upvote for you!

[–]sagradia -5 points-4 points ago

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That is not funny, but it is mean. No upvotes from me.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]JMSicarius 1 point2 points ago

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or possibly the fact that its the most reposted thing i've seen on reddit so far...

[–]snikerpnai[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I've never seen it, but I haven't been here that long. Just thought it was funny, so I thought I would share.

[–]felizfeliz -1 points0 points ago

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Religion lie: It was GOD will not me! Atheist lie: Gavity did it not me!

[–]gloomdoom -1 points0 points ago

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Don't piss off a tuba player in 2001.

It's OK in 2011. Tuba players have had a decade since this was filmed and circulated to get over their anger.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]pobody 27 points28 points ago

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Keep your precious little snowflake out of the fucking band then.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]db0255 10 points11 points ago

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  1. It's not assault. It's battery.
  2. He shouldn't be running through a marching band.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]db0255 6 points7 points ago

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Well. True. But kids falling are not a big deal...it didn't look like he was that hurt either.

[–]Wildtails 1 point2 points ago

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I'll guarantee he won't try it again. The best way to stop a child doing something stupid is when it goes wrong for him.

[–]Russz 2 points3 points ago

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When I was younger I learned not to touch a stove the hard way. My grandma was cooking and I always wanted to touch the heated spiral. My grandma kept telling me not to touch it but I still tried to anyway. Then at one point, she's like "Ok. Touch it" I don't think I need to explain what happens later but I definitely learned my lesson.

[–]cryptorchidism 12 points13 points ago

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You know what else is a fucking felony? Sending some guy to the hospital because you want to teach him a lesson. So the kid thinks he was in the right, thus robbing him of a valuable life lesson, and grows up fatherless to boot.

If all your plans are this good, that explains the kid.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Johnaco 4 points5 points ago

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Are you kidding me? Felony? Citizens arrest? You're pulling some serious shit out of your ass. I would be pissed if someone did something like that to my kid (if I had one) too but my kid also wouldn't be the one running around like a fucking idiot giving people a reason to do something like that.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Russz 0 points1 point ago

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HE RAN THROUGH THE FUCKING PARADE!

What do you not understand about this? What if they started moving? Then the tuba players would either stop and break formation, or run him over and possibly get him badly injured. Personally, I think the parents are to blame for this.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Johnaco 2 points3 points ago

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Please show us where the tuba player assaulted the child or intended harm.

Battery - unlawful attack on a person by beating or wounding (taken from dictionary.com)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TCR_A1 0 points1 point ago

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Which is only a felony if it is a all-out beat-up. This is at most a misdemeanor with extenuating circumstances. Contrast to what could have happened if the kid had collided with any of the players, which could quite quickly have resulted in an ambulance situation.

Yes, at the most basic this is wrong and the tuba player could, lawfully, get a stern talking to and maybe a small fine at most. What the kid did however was on a whole other plane of inexcusable. YOU DON'T FUCKING RUN INTO THE FORMATION - PERIOD.

[–]apex_redditor 3 points4 points ago

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Not a lot of overlap in the marching band and parenting demographics it seems.

[–]OccamsHammer 2 points3 points ago

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kids fall, it happens ALL THE TIME, they're designed to take it. Helping an out of control kid scrape his knee a little and make him reflect on what he was doing, is hardly an event to get worked up about.

[–]Russz 2 points3 points ago

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That doesn't make him right to run through like that. Where has the discipline gone? Think about it. Would you or I have done this when we were younger? Fuck no! If I did this I would get my ass smacked with a belt. This kid has nothing to fear from his parents so he runs through, forgetting that it's wrong, and thinking it's fun. No discipline what so ever!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Russz 5 points6 points ago

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Even if the kid has shitty parents, he still doesn't deserve for some fuck to try and harm him because he doesn't like what he's doing.

Teach him a lesson, not harm him. Kids fall all the fucking time.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Russz 3 points4 points ago

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No but with kids this rude these days, I weep for the future.

[–]sinterfield24 2 points3 points ago

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Oh that little shit got disciplined alright.

[–]Johnaco 1 point2 points ago

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Oh okay. So if someone else's child is doing something that could be harmful to others you're not going to do anything about it. Gotcha.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Johnaco 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That would be disciplining someone else's child.

[–]sinterfield24 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How does it feel to be a little whiny minority?