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all 107 comments

[–]frigginwizard 53 points54 points ago

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Things to do with the internet is down: Enable wifi tether on my smart phone.

[–]MisterSquirrel 14 points15 points ago

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Don't be ridiculous, this will not work if the whole internet is down.

[–]frigginwizard 2 points3 points ago

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touche

[–]StructuralHazard 4 points5 points ago

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This feature on my HTC sensation has been really useful these past couple of days. My internet/TV/and phone from Verizon FiOS is out (due to that snow storm that caused snow to pile up on trees and destroy lines everywhere), and they want me to wait a week for a tech to come out and fix it.

Thankfully, I have power, so I keep my phone plugged in, and the whole family has been leeching from my internet access. The speeds are actually pretty decent (~12Mbps).

[–]OmegaVesko 6 points7 points ago

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~12Mbps is considered "decent"? Fuck, I got excited when I upgraded my home connection to 4Mbps.

[–]Dr_Dippy 6 points7 points ago

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I live in northern canada, what's a Mb

[–]OmegaVesko 0 points1 point ago

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Are you telling me your average download rate is slower than 100kBps?

[–]Dr_Dippy 3 points4 points ago

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usually :'(

[–]OmegaVesko 1 point2 points ago

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Welp, I don't think I have the right to complain anymore.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i can get it up to 700kbps at least...which company you are with?

[–]Dr_Dippy 0 points1 point ago

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local company tbtel

[–]StructuralHazard 2 points3 points ago

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To be fair, the only reason I have download rates that high with Tmobile right now is because I live a block up from one of their cell towers.

[–]Drinksalotofjack 3 points4 points ago

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This guy knows how its done..

[–]Schnoofles 1 point2 points ago

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I keep a sim in my old G1 for this so I'll maintain full functionality on my Optimus 2x. Can't risk interrupting the desktop's internet access when I bring the optimus with me to browse reddit while in the bathroom.

[–]dubrey 1 point2 points ago

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This is exactly what I am doing right now because my internet is down. No joke.

[–]bl00min_0ni0n 15 points16 points ago

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fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap

[–]IAmtheHullabaloo 5 points6 points ago

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...eat a donut...fap fap fap...

[–]elmstfreddie 7 points8 points ago

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fap fap fap...eat a glazed doughnut

[–]Jewey 1 point2 points ago

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but how? without the internet...

[–]greggerypeccary 4 points5 points ago

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It's like a Fap 22!

[–]FlameMage 15 points16 points ago

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Take a nap. Organize your hard drive. Play an offline game. Those are usually my solutions.

[–]moose_man 2 points3 points ago

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... Die inside

[–]supergauntlet 4 points5 points ago

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Masturbate while dying inside.

[–]Eclno 0 points1 point ago

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Play Minecraft offline?

[–]STUN_Runner 11 points12 points ago

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Pack up the laptop and go grab a burger at the McWiFi.

[–]jrhoffa 9 points10 points ago

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Protip: The only place to get WiFi past 8 PM in Conway, AR is the Taco Bell on Oak St. by I-40. They are open late.

[–]redpoint13 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't there a McDonalds in the Wal-Mart? It may be closed but I wouldn't think they would shut the WiFi off.

[–]HunterIrked -1 points0 points ago

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I've heard that too, but it wasn't WiFi they were talking about...

[–]jrhoffa 1 point2 points ago

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Title of post: "Things to do When the Internet is Down"

Sounds like it's time to start talking about WiFi hotspots.

[–]MaritMonkey 1 point2 points ago

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I pretty much live at Dunkin' Donuts for the week after any solid hurricane. Bless those folks for having donuts, coffee, wifi and awesome generators ... IN ONE PLACE.

[–]Harodan 8 points9 points ago

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Play video games.

My personal choices are Minecraft (I host a server over lan,) Devil May Cry 4, Just Cause 2...

I don't have to leave the computer once the outside world goes down.

[–]katinahat 1 point2 points ago

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Did this the other day. Local service went down for repairs and after a brief moment of panic at not having internet, I came to the conclusion that I should just play Rock Band instead of TF2 for a few hours until it came back. Ah, life is good.

[–]Kensin 0 points1 point ago

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video games are my first solution to this problem, but it's getting harder as more and more single player games require a connection to the internet. The last time I was without internet I couldn't even play Portal.

[–]DialSquare 8 points9 points ago

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This is no different than the things I do when the internet is working.

[–]katiefrazer92 4 points5 points ago

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What about playing solitaire? Or watch the Matrix? Creativity people, creativity! You don't even have to move.

[–]Jennishness 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote for Solitaire.

[–]NoSandwichOnlyZuul 3 points4 points ago

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sometimes I even read! my internet shorts so often I'm almost done with Great Expectations.

[–]jesus_knows_me 0 points1 point ago

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Is it any good?

[–]NoSandwichOnlyZuul 1 point2 points ago

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Quite good. I was so inspired I even did an impressive character sketch of Miss Havisham. It's a long read though.

[–]DocTentakel 3 points4 points ago

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That is why i have an emergency porn folder

[–]mosesonaquasar 3 points4 points ago

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Things to do when the internet is down: drink.

ftfy

[–]Offensive_Brute 2 points3 points ago

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I recently went two days without internet access, know what i did? I slept for two days.

[–]whatevrmn 2 points3 points ago

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Bring your laptop to the bar.

[–]PokemasterTT 2 points3 points ago

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Play single player video games.

[–]Redditor_State 1 point2 points ago

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Painting your feelings gets an up vote from me

[–]renewest 1 point2 points ago

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F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 F5

[–]mgedmin 2 points3 points ago

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Some of us demand more instant feedback during outages.

Speaking of which, imgur is down?

[–]natek53 1 point2 points ago

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Ask reddit what to do when internet is down. Oh, wait.

[–]Hackiedit 1 point2 points ago

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I usually watch a movie or a TV show .. no big deal

[–]Lemonegro 1 point2 points ago

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A lot of these are pretty accurate.

[–]iihatephones 1 point2 points ago

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Ah yes, yelling at your ISP... I've been at the receiving end of that pass time before.

[–]mgedmin 1 point2 points ago

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Write a Python script to ping a host every second, so you'll know when the Internet is back right away.

[–]life_goes_by_in_20s 1 point2 points ago

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Fap with smartphone

[–]Zomoco 1 point2 points ago

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Keep re-opening web-browser planning to search something, realise internet is down.

[–]LlamaHunter 1 point2 points ago

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Go with the donuts. Donuts fix everything.

[–]MikeTheBum 1 point2 points ago

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[–]SergeantSlippyBones 1 point2 points ago

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For a moment I thought getting drunk was not included in this list, but then I realized it's probably assumed that all these activities are to be performed while intoxicated.

[–]silkforcalde 1 point2 points ago

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Where's "read a book" because that's what I do almost every time.

[–]Deadly-Moogle 1 point2 points ago

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This reminds me of a comic I read.

[–]ZombieFeces 2 points3 points ago

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Or you could just masturbate.

[–]Jimbobmij 6 points7 points ago

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Without internet? What are you, an animal?

[–]SickZX6R 3 points4 points ago

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Everybody knows all the pros keep local material just in case.

[–]temporary_acount 1 point2 points ago

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You don't have a emergency porn bunker ?

[–]slashcom 0 points1 point ago

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I got to the library... or work... or a coffee shop...

oh god

[–]360walkaway 0 points1 point ago

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What about Minesweeper and Solitaire?

[–]another_brick 0 points1 point ago

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Pffft, I do most of these when REDDIT is down...

[–]Solkre 0 points1 point ago

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Be instantly paranoid that they finally caught you.

[–]knocklessmonster 0 points1 point ago

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The best thing to do: Knock on a neighbor's door to borrow a cup of Internet so you can go to yellowpages.com and find the phone number of the local office of your ISP.

[–]Minored 0 points1 point ago

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I just read a book/watch a movie and take a nap.

or play the single player of games that i play online only

[–]Minored 0 points1 point ago

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Minesweeper ftw!

[–]slapded 0 points1 point ago

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  1. make something fun in mspaint,
  2. play with calculator to see how high it goes
  3. fap using my brain

[–]The_Adventurist 0 points1 point ago

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Things to do when the internet is down: go get fast food, come home, play video games until it comes back on.

[–]ThoseArentMeerkats 0 points1 point ago

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It's sad because that's generally what I do. Except I also pack up my laptop, hop on my bike and travel to the nearest place with free wifi as well.

[–]mattmcinnis 0 points1 point ago

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That google street view guy is getting around.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I know it's a radical idea but how 'bout GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE

[–]pacman91 0 points1 point ago

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This shouldn't be in /r/funny

[–]bemundolack 0 points1 point ago

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Read a book. Books are never down.

[–]sheriff_skullface 0 points1 point ago

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Offline gaming

[–]manaworkin 0 points1 point ago

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I was really hoping that "Overthrow egyptian government" would be the last one.

[–]AppleDane 0 points1 point ago

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Play old games.

[–]xpqpqx 0 points1 point ago

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My grandma has the unedited version of this as a postcard stuck to her bathroom mirror. It's been there ever since I can remember. It was strange seeing it here. The original title is "Positive Steps for Mental Health"

I think I can remember every original title.

From left to right, top to bottom. 1. Accepting who you are 2. Talk about it 3. Keeping active. (Guy is walking a dog) 4. Learn a new skill (haha) 5. Stay in touch with friends 6. Do something creative 7. Get involved in a group 8. Ask for help 9. Relax 10. Survive

And I have no idea why i spent the time doing that.

[–]SR71-boss 0 points1 point ago

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minesweeper.

[–]tbe170 0 points1 point ago

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Ipconfig /release Ipconfig /renew

Fixed? Nope.

Ipconfig /release Ipconfig /renew

Fixed? Still no...

Ipconfig /release. . .

[–]tomdumont 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone recreate this in High-Res so I can print it on a poster?!

[–]hugo4400 0 points1 point ago

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funny, i 404ed when i clicked to get to the comments of this

[–]jagodlartomater 0 points1 point ago

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I would pack my whole family into my car and head for Silicon Valley. I've heard they got a little internet there...

[–]dripdripdrop 0 points1 point ago

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It's pretty typical for my SO to come running over to my house clutching his laptop when his net is down. Such a cutie.

[–]timmy123180 0 points1 point ago

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How does one misspell masturbation so many times?

[–]HankVenture87 0 points1 point ago

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Open the refridgerator repeatedly expecting more food to appear.

[–]MadWombat 0 points1 point ago

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+1 for "paint your feelings" -1 for lack of "drink booze until you pass out"

[–]Darth_Hobbes 0 points1 point ago

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I'd be a world-renowned scientist if it wasn't for the internet.

[–]hotakyuu 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, people seriously can't live without the internet? You would commit suicide in my home.... No Net and no Television.

[–]Mojotokin 0 points1 point ago

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After losing power for the last 4 days due to a storm, I confirm these all to be true...

[–]Punkwasher 0 points1 point ago

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OR

Play single player :D

[–]HoochCow 0 points1 point ago

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My instructions for when the internet goes out

Step 1: Text my friend and ask if his is out too.

Step 2: War Drive my neighbor hood for people with wifi

Step 3: Use the 3g on my Droid to maintain sanity until my cable is back.

Step 4: Take smart phone breaks to play xbox and PC games.

[–]supergauntlet 0 points1 point ago

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You left out masturbate.

[–]iwonamathdebate 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you. The last thing reminded me that I had doughnuts still sitting in my moped. Yum.

[–]schram11 0 points1 point ago

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sort downloads folder

[–]AlexProbablyKnows 0 points1 point ago

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[–]sotoj159 0 points1 point ago

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fap for the hell of it

[–]mezzfit 0 points1 point ago

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I always open command prompt "ping google.com -t" and stare at it until i get a return.

[–]AngryData 0 points1 point ago

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That is what Dwarf Fortress is for.

[–]Anofir 0 points1 point ago

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OH GOD I'M OUT OF DONUTS

[–]ramza101 0 points1 point ago

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Watch porn.

[–]shiftace92 0 points1 point ago

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@"Whips out ps2 Rpg"@

[–]Jcdubs 0 points1 point ago

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Or Sleep.

[–]CoupleTryingGWout -2 points-1 points ago

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Um, watch a movie?... No? Bueller? Bueller?