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top 200 commentsshow all 461

[–]dirtyqwerty 462 points463 points ago

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This kid from my high school is a cashier at Panera.

I don't go to Panera anymore.

[–]spartacus- 262 points263 points ago

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Socially awkward penguin would be proud.

[–]XtraReddit 49 points50 points ago

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It depends on how long it's been since you left high school. After a few years it's not really that awkward to say hi to someone you haven't seen in a long time regardless of how your relationship was. I ran into my high school enemy that I had a fist fight with and it had been so long that neither of us cared. Awkwardness fades with time.

[–]redhair_nofreckles 33 points34 points ago

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But so does recognition. How do I deal with wondering if someone from high school even recognizes me? Do I say "hey...remember me? We had third period together 6 years ago" or do I just let it go and have both of us stare at each other trying to figure out if we recognize each other?

[–]shittyartist 36 points37 points ago

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I had this girl from high school as my waitress one time. My buddy noticed it was her first and said "oh hey such and such" and she goes to me "oh, hey you! long time no see" She was a bombshell so I knew exactly who she was but I blew any normal social interaction the second I thought "does she even know who I am? she didnt address me by my name" but then of course she would, right, I have a pretty uncommon name, and me and her used to work together in class.

This is the shit I lay and think about while falling asleep.

[–]XtraReddit 22 points23 points ago

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lol. You reminded me of one awkward one. I'm at a strip club and go up to tip the girl and she DID remember my name.

[–]Big_McLargeHuge 28 points29 points ago

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"Oh hey, guess I don't have to wonder what you look like naked anymore."

[–]XtraReddit 14 points15 points ago

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That would have been better. I said OMG, dropped the dollar, and quickly walked away. Then had to go back up to explain. I made awkward penguin feel like the Dos Equis man that day.

[–]paradoksikal 17 points18 points ago

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He's the outcast of parties he's never even known about.

He once had a normal conversation... just to see what it would feel like. Then he made a sound like a horse and ran away.

His trademark pickup line is "Um."

He is... the most awkward man in the world.

[–]Spacedementia87 3 points4 points ago

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"do I know you from somewhere"

[–]Harddaysnight1990 2 points3 points ago

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You could always do what I did: go to college no where near your hometown then move to an apartment also fairly far away so you don't have to see anyone you went to high school:

[–]darkmood 1 point2 points ago

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I did that too. I ended up living in a mid-sized city that is about 700 miles from home. Ran into a girl from my high school class at a party. She told me to call her sometime. I didn't. Ran into her again a few months later at a mall. She told me to call her sometime. I didn't. Haven't seen her since.

[–]itsableeder 1 point2 points ago

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If you recognise them, chances are they recognise you.

[–]Irishfury86 153 points154 points ago

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Kid who picked on me in middle school worked at Subway. I went there all the time.

[–]knullcon 72 points73 points ago

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Guy who I was kinda cool with in JHS and HS worked at the deli counter in my local supermarket, always said hi to him, and he hooked me up with way more cold cuts than what I paid for.

[–]orthogonality 9 points10 points ago

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he hooked me up with way more cold cuts than what I paid for.

so he slipped you the meat?

[–]moonbeaver 21 points22 points ago

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I know I should probably go to sleep when I read "and he hooked up with way more old cunts then what I paid for..."

[–]knullcon 5 points6 points ago

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well shit I would have done more than just say hi if that was the case ;)

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Remember that asshole kid in high school who always used to hang around with that big group of other asshole kids, who always wanted to pick on you for no apparent reason?

Yeah, he's my new neighbour.

Great part is? He's actually pretty sound! He's matured a lot - got a Mrs and a kid, and he's a pretty sorted guy... who would've thought?

edit: bearing in mind this is less than half a dozen years later

edit2: also bearing in mind most of the other kids are in prison now

[–]JohnCthulhu 2 points3 points ago

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You're Irish, aren't you? : )

[–]airexx 1 point2 points ago

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Less than half a dozen, made me lol.

Why couldn't you just say 3 or 4? Haha. You should get back at him.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]shadowpwner 38 points39 points ago*

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That's a great hidden affiliate link, it took me awhile to find it.

Edit: if an Amazon link has "-20" in it, then its an affiliate link. I believe the guy chose the affiliate username of "A_", so his affiliate link looks like "A_-20", which is very inconspicuous.

The parent comment: "I got picked on a ton in school and one day my Grandfather gave me this book. I read it over and over again and religiously followed his exercise recommendations. About 2 months after I got the book some 8th grader (I was in 6th grade) started pushing me around and wouldn't stop, so I punched him in the face 3 times really quick and broke his nose. Didn't get picked on at all the rest of my public school life, it's like the legend traveled with me."

[–]LoopyDood 14 points15 points ago

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The fucker deleted his comment after you pointed that out.

[–]hyperdub5 10 points11 points ago

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Can you explain this exercise? I want to break some noses.

[–]Onyxpanda 15 points16 points ago

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Wow that's quite the sacrifice...

[–]Duramax159 50 points51 points ago

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Thank god he doesn't work at Chipotle...

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Jesus Christ I'd have to hire someone to go there everyday instead of me.

Carnitas, cheese, corn, mild salsa, pinto beans, root beer. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[–]ATLogic 16 points17 points ago

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I don't like it when they put root beer in my burrito

[–]wdarea51 7 points8 points ago

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dude.... steak, sour cream, cheeze, mild salsa, little bit o corn, little bit o lettuce, rice, and black beans all the way

[–]jkruton 12 points13 points ago

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Seriously, black beans are superior to pinto beans.

[–]Saint947 11 points12 points ago

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Fucking christ. Now I have to deal with a Chipotle craving at almost midnight.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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yeah, really. thanks for nothing, guys. Maybe i'll just put some hot sauce on a cracker... that's the same... right?

[–]wdarea51 1 point2 points ago

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trollface.jpg

[–]orthogonality 1 point2 points ago

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It's all about the guac.

[–]wdarea51 1 point2 points ago

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As a poor college student, the only reason that was not listed is price.

[–]arisefairmoon 5 points6 points ago

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I think I love you. That's my EXACT burrito.

[–]schavira 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, they've never been the same since Dimebag Darrell died. Cash register isn't even an instrument.

[–]gospelwut 1 point2 points ago

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Amazingly (and thankfully), I have never seen anybody from high school in many years. I do remember seeing this guy--many years ago--at Denny's. He had a kid and had one of those ring tattoos. I felt obligated to tip well and never return ever again. Not that avoiding Denny's is difficult.

[–]Abezilla116 1 point2 points ago

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This girl from my highschool was a bitch to me (and everyone else) she dropped out to hang out with her boyfriend and smoke crack (and get pregnant) and now shes working min wage at mc. donalds and I see her every morning when I get my coffee on my way to college.

[–]allboolshite 105 points106 points ago

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Every fucking time I run into an old classmate I get the same story about, "oh you remember Randombitch? Yea, she's back in rehab again and we really think she's going to make it this time. She just had her sixth kid so she's really motivated."

Really?

[–]J0kester 171 points172 points ago

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oh you remember Randombitch?

Poor kid. Never had a chance with that name.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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http://www.reddit.com/user/Randombitch

She seems to be doing better.

[–]J0kester 22 points23 points ago*

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This was her latest comment. Although it does match allboolshite's story...

[–]DorkusMalorkuss 4 points5 points ago

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I know these types of comments always get downvoted but this really had me laughing for way, way too long.

Thanks! :)

[–]thebillmac3 8 points9 points ago

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Can't get more chance than random.

[–]SoundSalad 1 point2 points ago

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Everyone tells you the same story?!

[–]mightymouse513 1 point2 points ago

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well, when your school is full of Randombitch's, then they sort of do, even though they're actually not all referring to the same Randombitch.

[–]allboolshite 1 point2 points ago

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Well, once was interesting, twice was coincidence, three times and I realized I went to school with a lot of looser scumbags. I have yet to run into someone who is doing as well with their life as I am... you know, lower-middle class.

[–]sea_otter 159 points160 points ago

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I just give them the ole nod of the head. Quells possible dead-end conversations while at the same time, fully acknowledging our common past.

[–]lofi76 29 points30 points ago

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Flip 'em off while walking directly towards them, then veer left at the last moment.

[–]G-Zom 49 points50 points ago

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Exactly. Just smile and wave, maybe throw in a "Oh hey!", but keep walking.

[–]ThatWasCool 44 points45 points ago

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Yes, unless he/she hears you say "Oh hey!" and stops for a conversation while you keep on walking. Even more awkward.

[–]mruptown 30 points31 points ago

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no time for a stop-and-chat

[–]yourmovecreep 31 points32 points ago

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As you push them in the face.

[–]G-Zom 1 point2 points ago

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Just casually mention that you're late for work or something, I don't know.

[–]deselby12 13 points14 points ago

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A solid one I had was an ex-roommate during the dead of winter. We nodded from a respectable distance then just mumbled something about "too cold" as we passed and laughed without breaking stride.

[–]aagusgus 5 points6 points ago

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Yes. A tip of the cap to you fine sir. Just give an acknowledgement, don't stop, you have places to be.

[–]wayndom 247 points248 points ago

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Old joke:

Jews don't recognize Christ as the messiah, Catholics don't recognize Mormons as Christians, and Baptists don't recognize each other in strip clubs.

[–]SenorMcBean 122 points123 points ago

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This holds true throughout life.

Walking down a long hallway at work while approaching someone else...

"OH CHECK OUT THAT WALL"

(Desperately search for something to fixate on pretending you've noticed something important)

[–]squirrelscout 91 points92 points ago

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I do the old something's-in-my-eye-and-i-need-to-focus-all-of-my-attention-on-getting-it-out-so-really-I'm-not-ignoring-you-i-just-don't-even-see-you. And if it's a really long hallway I'll throw a fake sneeze in there and groan like I'm having a world-obliterating allergy attack.

[–]Bbbsccc 59 points60 points ago

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It sounds like you do this suspiciously often.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]tondo22 16 points17 points ago

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Fuck that I take out my backpack and pretend to grab something thats SOOOOO IMPORTANT>

[–]I_CAPE_RUNTS 10 points11 points ago

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I bend down to tie my shoes. I wear penny loafers.

[–]isaichidman 1 point2 points ago

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A FAKE SNEEZE? You can do that authentically, and you have the guts to try? You are insane.

[–]Thrasymachus7 2 points3 points ago

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I knew a guy who could make a real sneeze sound fake. After the whole "aahh" part when you're expecting the "choo!" to follow, he would just calmly say "sneeze." I always tell myself I'll teach myself to do it, but can never remember in the heat of the moment.

[–]FinSamar 56 points57 points ago

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I go with the classic "OOH A TEXT MESSAGE FOR ME?!" ...but I'm really just looking at my phone's clock.

[–]tondo22 40 points41 points ago

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but you wont remember the time. and then have to take it out again. AWKWARD. now everyone's staring.

[–]rbeezy 12 points13 points ago

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My friend and I send each other gibberish texts when in awkward situations to make it look like we're doing something. Fuck actual social interactions!

[–]Adjacent_to_happy 5 points6 points ago

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Man, I do all of these things. Taking the phone out a second time is a particular weakness of mine. Oh, you're still within 20 ft of me, what time was it again?

[–]SirRealle 42 points43 points ago

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I work with a bunch of software engineers. I make it a point to say "hi" to people who look away down hallways and ask some random question just to get them to talk. I keep walking though, so they feel as though they should say something as an answer quickly (that would usually be a detailed answer), when really I just wanted to make them uncomfortable in a social situation they were trying to avoid. "Hey Chris, how do I get to that mountain biking trail you were mentioning to Brian the other day?" Then just keep on walking... >:-)

[–]ForeverUnclean 19 points20 points ago

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As someone who looks away down hallways...fuck you.

[–]SirRealle 1 point2 points ago

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How's your wife been? Oops, gotta run!

[–]Vainglory 15 points16 points ago

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Thats pure evil, man. The poor people.

[–]mightymouse513 10 points11 points ago

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many people like doing the "hey how's it going?" greeting, which actually translates to "Hi!" but I always think they want an actual response...

Once someone said that to me and I responded "Hello!" and he automatically replied "That's good."

[–]tairygreene 8 points9 points ago

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remember that episode of star trek where it shows what Picard's life would be like if he decided to be a pussy?

thats you

[–]VapidStatementsAhead 1 point2 points ago

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PLAY DOMJOT OOMAN?

[–]MadManMax55 8 points9 points ago

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I usually don't do this to avoid acknowledging someone's presence or conversation, but those 50-100ft where you notice someone and they notice you and you don't want to look away like you're avoiding them but you're too far away to nod or say hi so you alternate between starring at the person and straight ahead are some of the most awkward moments ever.

[–]poop_evaluator 1 point2 points ago

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theres one kid i always avoid because i had never spoken to him in high school. we just know each others faces and that we went to school together. however, yesterday i was studying w a kid from class and we went out to eat.

he said i'd meet his roommate bc he was coming to join us.

his roommates was awkward hs boy.

ive never seen his face move before because ive never seen him talk in the whole time we went to school together.

there was no out.

[–]Mlemac28 2 points3 points ago

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I pull out my phone. Facebook is suddenly really important and I just can't tear my eyes away. It's even more awkward when my phone is dead, because then I have to pretend that I'm seeing something really important.

[–]IetF 74 points75 points ago

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This is why cellphones are so useful. Last time I saw someone from high school, we both pulled our cellphones out and acted like we were texting as we passed by each other. Kind of an awkward moment in itself.

[–]shriek 85 points86 points ago

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only to text him, "Hey man, what's up I just walked by you LOL!!"

[–]proud_to_be_a_merkin 42 points43 points ago

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At first I was like, "oh, he's right! cellphones have made it much easier for people to stay in touch over long distances."

Nope.

[–]MagicallyVermicious 11 points12 points ago

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Well they have, but this example shows how they help make it much easier for people to not have to talk to each other over short distances, too.

[–]dontlookatmynameok 1 point2 points ago

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Pretends to be talking on phone. Phone rings for real. Observes disgusted look from other party.

[–]beernerd 24 points25 points ago

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Fuck. 10-year reunion is coming up. Gotta get my shit together. If life is a game, high school reunions are where we keep score...

[–]corporeal-entity 8 points9 points ago

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Mine was utter bullshit. It was organized at some shitty sports bar in my town. The same cliques were hanging out together as if nothing had changed, and really, nothing had changed. I made an appearance and bailed after about 30 minutes and went and hung out with my own friends.

[–]beernerd 1 point2 points ago

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What kind of high school has a reunion in a sports bar?

[–]corporeal-entity 2 points3 points ago

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Bingo. It was organized by an '00 alum with ridiculously poor taste. The really interesting thing is, most of my friends I run around with now went to that same high school but graduated two years before I did. Guess where the class of '98 had their reunion? Same bar. They really got a kick out of that.

"Where was your reunion?"

"Same place yours was two years ago."

[–]spiralout87 55 points56 points ago

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I just walk by smiling like a dumbass. Let them think they are the weird one, right?

[–]I_saw_this_on_4chan 56 points57 points ago

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Or, charge them and directly start the awkward conversation, because you revel in the awkwardness, nay you bathe in it for sheer delight.

I am the weird one.

[–]SirRealle 29 points30 points ago

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"HEY! What have you been up to? It's been so long!"

"Oh, um, hi. Well, after we graduated from high..."

"BOOORING! Gotta run, bye!"

[–]f03nix 6 points7 points ago

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"Hey wait, Cindy told me she wanted to see you."

(SirRealle turning back) "She what?"

"or perhaps it was Dave? ... anyway, catch ya some other time."

[–]DIDNT_GET_SARCASM 2 points3 points ago

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Cindy is a bitch.

[–]iConfessor 1 point2 points ago

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I actually bumped into one of my friends named Cindy...

She's a bitch.

[–]SirRealle 1 point2 points ago

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God I hate Cindy.

[–]cpq29gpl 4 points5 points ago

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[–]Thrasymachus7 1 point2 points ago

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This just reminded me of running into a friend from high school after we'd both clearly hit up the bars and were needing drunk munchies. She said "Hello" and I drunkenly asked "Who are you?" I felt like such an ass.

[–]coffeecake 1 point2 points ago

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this is exactly what i do! i don't know what i think i accomplish by smiling at no one.. but i hope they are not wholly offended by it.

[–]spiralout87 1 point2 points ago

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Right? Sometimes I pretend I'm smiling because there's something awesome going on with my life at that moment (never the case).

[–]DankFrank 50 points51 points ago

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Holy shit, this happened to me today...Except the girl was hot as fuck and I looked at her the entire time while she stared at her phone...Am I doing it rite?

[–]ATLogic 27 points28 points ago

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yes

[–]winampman 11 points12 points ago

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...Am I doing it rite?

No. You should have followed her home too!

[–]Jadis 38 points39 points ago

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My friend and I were traveling out West around the Yellowstone National Park area and we were with two of our British friends as they were touring America. We saw some people that walked by us, and a few minutes later, we happened upon them once more and heard them speaking. They were British also. I turned to our friends and said, "Hey! It's some of your countrymen!" They responded, "Oh, each of us knew we were British as we turned our heads down and tried to avoid eye contact at all cost." It made me laugh.

tl;dr: This story seemed better in my head o_o

[–]kymaks 27 points28 points ago

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I liked it. I'm also high, so take that with a grain of salt.

[–]lofi76 10 points11 points ago

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Or a crumbly nug.

[–]plisterinbenis 11 points12 points ago

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That text message that you don't have has never seemed so interesting!

[–]ahyl 11 points12 points ago

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My rule in life is to unfriend people I have on facebook that don't say hi to me in real life.

I'm down many friends now :(

[–]Chadversary 6 points7 points ago

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we call those friends, acquaintances.

[–]D0wnb0at 2 points3 points ago

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Why add them in the first place??? Exception to the rule is if they are hot.

[–]FuManJew 2 points3 points ago

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My rule is if I wouldn't talk to you at a party or vice versa you're unfriended. I got rid of about half my "friends" when I first implemented this rule after college.

[–]terribleivan 59 points60 points ago

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Seems Like most redditors had terrible high school careers or something lol

[–]TheMadMule 46 points47 points ago

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High school was fine for me. I think the hell that is called "middle school" (or junior high, whatever) is something we can all agree on.

[–]terribleivan 11 points12 points ago

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See that's truth right there. middle school was awful. Nothing wrong with highschool though. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing most of the guys I knew back then

[–]Haz3rd 5 points6 points ago

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Seriously. For the most part, I enjoyed high school. Fuck middle school. That was an awful experience.

[–]Dprotp 1 point2 points ago

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middle school was dope as fuck

20-friend empire was intense

[–]Bongpig 1 point2 points ago

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I think they are just socially inept.

Personally if I see someone I know, anywhere, I will say hello at the least.

[–]zeppelinfromled 1 point2 points ago

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High school was fine for me. I wasn't one of the cool kids, but I was kind of on the fringe of that group, and I certainly wasn't bullied or anything like that. But the people from high school who I would run into when I go visit my parents are mostly the people who stayed in the town we grew up in and probably hang out almost entirely with people from high school. I just don't have that much in common with most of them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Nah there is just no point in talking to someone you haven't seen or spoken to in 10 years.

[–]phormality 1 point2 points ago

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High school wasn't bad necessarily, but I really have no desire to talk to any of those people now. Just because we grew up in the same city doesn't make us lifelong acquaintances who need to stop and chat about nothing if we happen to run into each other.

There are maybe 3 people I wouldn't mind talking to me if I ran into them. That's about it. Everyone else... I really don't see the point to it all.

[–]DaTScientisT 9 points10 points ago

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Had this experience 2 weeks ago.

It's not that it would have been awkward, or we hate each other or anything. We just have nothing to talk about.

[–]MissCharmCity 17 points18 points ago

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recently saw a girl who made fun of me in high school. she served me ice cream. I am now an accountant, so I was happy to run into her!

[–]DoctorElectron 2 points3 points ago

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Myself as well! Except at a wedding! We ended up dancing together most of the night.
her: "I was so mean to you in high school." me: "Your remarks were pretty funny."

[–]qizarate 43 points44 points ago

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Whatever happened to being friendly?! I always stop and talk to people I even vaguely recognize. Even if I didn't like them... even if they clearly want to avoid me...

... especially if they clearly want to avoid me.

[–]I_CAPE_RUNTS 10 points11 points ago

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some people take "being friendly" the wrong way

[–]qizarate 5 points6 points ago

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That's because it's never friendly to cape a runt.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I make the mistake of making eye contact every time. End up passing each other while awkwardly staring.

[–]Siobhan1013 7 points8 points ago

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Did this in Target the other day, my classmate had a kid with her..so awkward conversation successfully dodged.

[–]SirRealle 3 points4 points ago

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Haha, the great question: "Now how did I know you'd end up pregnant?"

[–]lofi76 3 points4 points ago

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Was it the "Hot" lettering across her sweatpants' ass?

[–]remeard 7 points8 points ago

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I grew up in a small town. A few years ago, we got a Wal-Mart. That Wal-Mart became the central hub of the town basically. People talked about it like it was a thing to do. "Hey, you want to go to Wal-Mart?" "And do what?" "I don't know, hang out man."

I've since moved, but every time I visit my parents, there's always that one brutally awkward conversation that I'm forced to have because I'm so and so's brother and they haven't seen them in "LIKE, FOREVER".

I do my best to stay away from the store. I also do my best to stay away from that town.

[–]kamic 6 points7 points ago

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Hang out at Walmart? Yikes...

[–]jooes 10 points11 points ago

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I was at Wal-Mart maybe a year ago with my parents, and I saw this kid that I went to school with. I saw him, he didn't see me, but my parents saw him too. "Oh look, it's Ben! You went to school with him, remember?" and I was like "Yeah, I do" and I was rushing to get into an aisle or something. You know, I needed to get away from him... And then my mom said the worst thing ever...

"You should go over and say hi! It's okay, we're in no hurry!" as she pushed me in his general direction...

[–]MyNameIsBruce2 7 points8 points ago

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Oh the awkward conversations I've had with former high school classmates. Luckily I have bad vision, so I usually don't even have to pretend to ignore them.

[–]WhitTheDish 6 points7 points ago

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I developed poor eyesight after graduating so most of my classmates don't know I need glasses. Combine that with the fact that I rarely wear them. So, even if it appears that I'm looking directly at them or at least in their direction, I probably can't see them and I end up coming off as an asshole anyway. Oh well, I still don't want to talk to them.

[–]donnerpartyof1 1 point2 points ago

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"sorry I didn't recognize you it's my cataracts bro"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago*

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[–]Jooshbag 2 points3 points ago

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I was hoping to post this but glad to see someone else did! Human Traffic is brilliant.

[–]D0wnb0at 1 point2 points ago

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Ctrl F " Human Traffic"

YUP, I knew someone would bring that up. Nice one brova!

[–]corporeal-entity 1 point2 points ago

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At my 10 year high school reunion (at a bar), I did something similar, but not quite as brusque. Someone I never really talked to and halfway remember from a decade ago decided to walk up to me and ask the requisite awkward opening question, "So, um, how you been since high school?" I said, "I don't feel like cramming the last decade into a 30 second conversation. I'm going to go get a beer. Nice seeing you."

[–]Secret_StoopKid 17 points18 points ago

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[–]yourpants 1 point2 points ago

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Humor aside, it's interesting to note how people tend to act super excited when they come across their old peers, even if what they're talking about is completely strange or even mundane. It's just so fake.

[–]allboolshite 1 point2 points ago

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"A gallon!" LOL

[–]potatoaster 26 points27 points ago

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Currently in high school. Still applies.

[–]RedRing86 17 points18 points ago

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Let me just recite this awkward dialogue for you all to cringe to

1: "Oh hey, 2, how are you?" 2: "Good, haven't seen you in awhile, how are things? 1: "They're going alright, just trying to graduate" 2: "Oh yea? What school you going to?" 1: "Derp State University, how are you?" 2: "Same, I'm at University of Derp, it's tough going to school and raising a son" 1: "Oh you have a son, that's nice, how old?" 2: "Just turned 3." 1: "Cool..... well BAI!!" 2: "BAIIIII KEEP IN TOUCH, NICE SEEING YOU BAI!!"

[–]winampman 9 points10 points ago

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Damn, just reading that made me feel awkward. :(

[–]Lord_Sauron 3 points4 points ago

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it would have been less cringe-worthy if you changed the names to B1 and B2... also having that conversation at 1.5 times regular speed (which I unfortunately do) makes it a lot more awkward.

[–]mightymouse513 1 point2 points ago

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for me, 2 is usually planning on finally going to school, Derp Community College, and has been working 2 jobs since graduating high school. Gotta take care of the family first!

[–]scottasin12343 4 points5 points ago

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Yesterday at the grocery store, check. twice.

[–]Irishfury86 3 points4 points ago

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I swear there must have been a memo sent out to all my high school alums that said that head nods are an appropriate form of communication when passing on the street. Thank God.

[–]Dead_Rooster 2 points3 points ago

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This should really end with, "but why did you add me on Facebook when you got home?"

[–]IPoopedALittle 2 points3 points ago

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Why are these images okay, but images of text are the bane of existence?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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i'm fantasizing about seeing someone i recognize from HS, and saying, while looking directly at them and smiling in a bug-eyed, creepy way: "i recognize you, but i have no interest in having a conversation with you." then, i walk away, and win.

[–]psmerling 2 points3 points ago

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NED? NED RYERSON?

[–]thegreatnick 2 points3 points ago

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CORRIEARKLET (n.) The moment at which two people approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognise each other and immediately pretend they haven't. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognising each other the whole length of the corridor.

CORRIECRAVIE (n.) To avert the horrors of corrievorrie (q.v.) corriecravie is usually employed. This is the cowardly but highly skilled process by which both protagonists continue to approach while keeping up the pretence that they haven't noticed each other - by staring furiously at their feet, grimacing into a notebook, or studying the walls closely as if in a mood of deep irritation.

CORRIEDOO (n.) The crucial moment of false recognition in a long passageway encounter. Though both people are perfectly well aware that the other is approaching, they must eventually pretend sudden recognition. They now look up with a glassy smile, as if having spotted each other for the first time, (and are particularly delighted to have done so) shouting out 'Haaaaaallllloooo!' as if to say 'Good grief!! You!! Here!! Of all people! Will I never. Coo. Stap me vitals, etc.'

CORRIEMOILLIE (n.) The dreadful sinking sensation in a long passageway encounter when both protagonists immediately realise they have plumped for the corriedoo (q.v.) much too early as they are still a good thirty yards apart. They were embarrassed by the pretence of corriecravie (q.v.) and decided to make use of the corriedoo because they felt silly. This was a mistake as corrievorrie (q.v.) will make them seem far sillier.

CORRIEVORRIE (n.) Corridor etiquette demands that one a corriedoo (q.v.) has been declared, corrievorrie must be employed. Both protagonists must now embellish their approach with an embarrassing combination of waving, grinning, making idiot faces, doing pirate impressions, and waggling the head from side to side while holding the other person's eyes as the smile drips off their face, until with great relief, they pass each other.

CORRIEMUCHLOCH (n.) Word describing the kind of person who can make a complete mess of a simple job like walking down a corridor.

As always whenever this gets posted, I like to rake in the karma by stealing this from Douglas Adams' Meaning of Liff

[–]AwwYea 4 points5 points ago

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I hate that stupid shit.

I always nod to say hi and at least acknowledge their existence even if we weren't the greatest of friends for whatever reason.

There's no need to be a socially awkward fuck or just be plain ignorant.

How silly is it for two people to pretend to look in another direction to avoid each other? What does that say about you? If you really don't like x person and don't want to talk to them, why can't you look at them and keep walking anyway if your feelings for that person are legitimate?

Oh I forgot this is reddit; where people actually post whether it's necessary to experience sex in life, and the socially awkward penguin memes get thousands of upvotes.

[–]19Detail 2 points3 points ago

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I agree. I have no problem acknowledging people I used to associate with or knew at some point in my life. Depending on who it is we might chat for a few minutes, but usually a simple nod or smile is the only exchange.

If a conversation starts to drag or your finished with the social encounter, just tell the person you have to get going and exchange goodbyes. Problem solved, no weird awkwardness.

[–]Legerdemain0 1 point2 points ago

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this is great.

[–]CaptainConfidential 1 point2 points ago

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Exactly. I saw several people I went to high school with at my little brother's graduation this summer. Everyone got a "Hey" and a smile. That was it, no need to go further or pretend you're doing something.

[–]get_toasted 6 points7 points ago

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It sounds ludicrous but you could try this one out...

Make eye contact, smile, and say "Hey!" Then keep walking. C'mon people.

[–]Chadversary 2 points3 points ago

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bravo. simple as that. redditors man..

[–]tonyamazing 3 points4 points ago

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I look at people right in the face as they walk passed and ignore me.

[–]haiku_robot 3 points4 points ago

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I look at people 
right in the face as they walk 
passed and ignore me.

[–]rmandraque 1 point2 points ago

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Head nod, walk faster.

[–]Sk33tshot 1 point2 points ago

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Or for the other type of people, thanks for connecting and bringing back great memories. The coin has two sides.

[–]PandaGoggles 1 point2 points ago

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I always run into them far from where we went to school too

[–]lionghoulman 1 point2 points ago

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last time someone i went to high school with came up to me i just said i was someone else and they were confused. worked like a charm.

[–]Willravel 1 point2 points ago

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Remember how much fun we had hating reading Siddhartha junior year? That guy was a selfish prick, right? What's that? You're Buddhist?

Shit.

[–]leb1239 1 point2 points ago

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I just say "what up" and keep walkin'. Problem solved

[–]rawrvenger 1 point2 points ago

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I just moved. It avoided the whole thing. Because that one year after high school was miserable to run into people...

[–]RochelleH 1 point2 points ago

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I only feel bad and avoid them if they've put on a lot of weight and seem to know it. Otherwise, I say "hey" and keep walking.

[–]zeppelinfromled 1 point2 points ago

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The fact that I sometimes see people I knew in high school (but have no desire to talk to again) when I go visit my parents has forced me to perfect the ability to ask "hey, how are you?" without actually starting a conversation.

[–]Murdadem 1 point2 points ago

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Literally JUST happened to me at a restaurant tonight and WHILE thinking about it, I come home, hop on reddit, and this is the first link I see as if my subconscious directed my eyes to it.

[–]bolderdash 1 point2 points ago

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oddly enough, I genuinely don't notice people. I'm always focused on something else, or my mind is wandering...

However, awkward conversations ensue when they notice me, because I can't remember names for shit.

[–]BoomBangPow 1 point2 points ago

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and then you have the whole conversation using everything except their name.

[–]I_TYPE_IN_ALL_CAPS 1 point2 points ago

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ONE DAY AT COLLEGE, I SAW A GUY I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH. EXCEPT, NOW HE WAS IN A WHEELCHAIR. AAAAAAAWKWAAARD.

[–]needmoarbass 1 point2 points ago

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Why did I go to a college in my home state? This is an everyday occurrence.

[–]OtherMikeP 1 point2 points ago

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Good to see ya, we should hang out some time.

[–]trav110 1 point2 points ago

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This guy who was kind of a prick in my high school works at Fedex-Kinko's now. I had to get a picture printed poster-size, and he charged me practically nothing. Things went better than expected.

[–]doodeoo 1 point2 points ago

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Happened to me today. You're welcome, fellow University of Washington student.

[–]sortofacoolguy 1 point2 points ago

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UW REPRESENT! Im sitting in the LMC in odegaard, come visit me :D

[–]JamesLiptonIcedTea 1 point2 points ago

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So what? We went to school together. What's the significance of that? No extended contact between us and we probably never spoke a word to each other the entire time.

[–]soapboxderby 1 point2 points ago

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I work at a pharmacy, and yes this may be a bit immature, but I can't help but snicker when I have to fill a Valtrex prescription for someone I went to high school with. The best thing is, they know I know they know I know.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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For the lazy: valtrex is an antiviral drug used to treat herpes.

[–]mixmax2 1 point2 points ago

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This cute girl from high school recognized me while we were in a theater a few years after graduation, I was sitting in the row below her, she said hello, I said hi, then I awkwardly turned around and just kept looking forward (This was still before the movie when the theater was showing it's little trivia). The awkwardness was so powerful that I still get post-traumatic nightmares.

[–]PaidAdvertiser 1 point2 points ago

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I have terrible face recognition technology in my brain and I don't recognize anyone ever :(

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Bongpig 1 point2 points ago

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What so hard about saying hello and just continuing on?

I think only socially retarded people, or cunts, would think ignoring someone is the right thing to do

[–]orthogonality 1 point2 points ago

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When we meet again
Introduced as friends
Please don’t let on that you knew me when
I was hungry and it was your world
--Bob Dylan

[–]NoYouFuckingDidnt 1 point2 points ago

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It's awkward when I want to talk to an old friend and they do that. xD Though I understand cause I do it sometimes too. Though seriously man up and just talk to people for gods sake. The internet is making you socially retarded.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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hadnt spoken to my ex for 3 years or so, then i got invited to her wedding(couple of weeks ago) to a guy i knew since before i knew her. out of nowhere she invited me and i wish i had spoken to her more since the last time i saw her.

i dont know if this is a 'socially awkward penguin' circlejerk or legitimately not wanting to see people you have a reason to not want to see. anyway, im really glad i caught up with one of my best friends. i recommend calling someone you knew in high school that you knew really well, sometimes theyre actually great friends that youve moved away from, or have fallen out with for something as trivial as 15-20 miles.

[–]downvoted4notfunny 1 point2 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]Musick 1 point2 points ago

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Really? Did all of reddit hate their highschool or something. Why not say hello? It's nice to catch up with random people.

[–]Raza1love 1 point2 points ago

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Id classify this almost as a "if you do this, fuck you" because there are some people that I wouldn't mind talking to that I kind of know. They do the head turned lightly to the other way and down. Seems kind of rude.

[–]mutorcs 1 point2 points ago

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Shit I never thought about the fact that they could be trying to ignore me...

[–]soul4sale 1 point2 points ago

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TIL that nearly 11,000 Redditors are socially inept, and another 9,000 are not.

[–]The_Ion_Shake 1 point2 points ago

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You think this is bad, try it with people you don't actually know. There was one girl I used to catch the train with (well we took the same train at the same time, that was it). We spoke maybe once as one guy at school who knew her randomly introduced me to her, I think to show me up as awkward (it worked). Sometimes I see her around and we kind of recognise each other I think but don't say hey, since we don't know each other. Now THAT'S a weird thing.

[–]jamesbiff 1 point2 points ago

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my tactic, if i see someone on the pavement (im a brit) as i approach i speed up slightly, i wont greet them till about 2-3 ft away, that way they know im just being polite but have no intention of stopping.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I run into people I knew in high school all the time. Most of the time I can't put a name to them, but they know me, the year I graduated, and which classes we had together. I was not popular at all. I was one of the invisible nerds, and it astounds me how many people want to talk to me now, ten years after the worst 4 years of my life are over. I've always wanted to ask these people "Where the hell were you when I would have given anything for more friends?"