top 200 commentsshow all 324

[–]Cuzimwhite 209 points210 points ago

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That there is what I like to call a "Jackitorium".

[–]Goddamlitre-o-cola 85 points86 points ago

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By the looks of the carpet, that's what it is

[–]Choochoocazoo 22 points23 points ago

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Fap-In-a-Box?

[–]Schooling4fun 1 point2 points ago

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Give it up. This is the winner!

[–]ConnorLovesCookies 20 points21 points ago

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With a username like MySperm what else would he do in there.

[–]drummererb 15 points16 points ago

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Oh god, I just went back and looked.

Splatters everywhere.

[–]cflatjazz 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah....I was just about to say......

O.o

[–]jaredgues11 72 points73 points ago

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All aboard the Masterbation station

[–]jakewest 62 points63 points ago

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Take a whack in the jack-shack.

[–]bobfunland 42 points43 points ago

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Have a wank in the spank-bank.

[–]bakuretsu 47 points48 points ago

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Yank your meat in the beat-seat.

[–]selfish_king 42 points43 points ago

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Chokin' the Chicken in the Whoop-Coop

[–]FearAzrael 41 points42 points ago

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Make a deposit in the sperm closet.

[–]istoleyourpope 23 points24 points ago

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Yank the crank to empty the tank.

[–]daveinthecave 6 points7 points ago

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Ejaculation.

[–]zymurgic 2 points3 points ago

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Choke it in the splatter box.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I prefer fap cave.

[–]bakew13 21 points22 points ago

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beat your meat then jizz at your feet.

[–]wilcocola 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know how to thank you... but this line will be echoing through my head for several days and I will immediately begin to laugh whenever I think about it, wherever I am.

[–]iAlchemist 10 points11 points ago

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Shank your hank in the wank-tank

[–]wilcocola 6 points7 points ago

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You fuckers made me literally convulse uncontrollably with laughter.

[–]wavilygravily 13 points14 points ago

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Jack in the box.

[–]onloanfromgod 1 point2 points ago

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Glad I held in there or I'd have missed this one.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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I call it the Fap Factory.

[–]Hellrazor236 1 point2 points ago

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Want a tour of the faptory?

[–]gorillazbmx6 9 points10 points ago

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I prefer Fap Cave or Masturbatorium

[–]MoparMogul 4 points5 points ago

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The "Faptuary" is my preferred term.

[–]VTFD 2 points3 points ago

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Welcome to the whack shack!

[–]Fatvod 3 points4 points ago

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I call it a "fapsule"

[–]tech98 1 point2 points ago

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Thought your name said Cum iz white. How fitting.

[–]drummererb 1 point2 points ago

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Those were them boys that were whackin it in my tool shed.

[–]hipphopopotamus 1 point2 points ago

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To the Fap Cave!

[–]eppursimouve 1 point2 points ago

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I'll be in my chambers.

[–]emaugust 2 points3 points ago

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Wheeelllppp I just loled at this entire thread of comments for about 5 minutes. GF thinks i've gone full on retard.

It is all very juvenile.

[–]pippy 1 point2 points ago

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"Masburtoium"

[–]PastThoughts 89 points90 points ago

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I feel like it would get hotter than hell in there.

[–]Devilsdance 24 points25 points ago

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This was my first thought...maybe install liquid cooling?

[–]ib1yysguy 64 points65 points ago

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Notably missing: ventilation.

[–]wr1190 14 points15 points ago

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And the tower.

[–]ib1yysguy 20 points21 points ago

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I didn't see a box of Kleenex either.

[–]alok99 21 points22 points ago

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As others have noted, the floor reveals no tissues were ever used.

[–]Hellrazor236 1 point2 points ago

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I imagine it would be in the other half of the closet you don't see the inside of, that way you can shove 8 billion fans in there and still not hear a sound.

[–]ScrottyMcboogerballs 65 points66 points ago

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I can see you are gaming hardcore judging by the stains on the floor

[–]zombiewafflezz 59 points60 points ago

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O_O

[–]Andreeew 23 points24 points ago

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Nice cake bro

[–]zombiewafflezz 60 points61 points ago

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:3

[–]alexwars1 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, cake day. Where you can not only get away with emoticon responses, but also get a load of karma.

[–]zombiewafflezz 1 point2 points ago*

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I know normally I'd get downvoted a ton for that. coooooool.

[–]extravagant_ascetic 6 points7 points ago

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It can't be unseen.

[–]Alchemy69 27 points28 points ago

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Imagine playing amnesia in there...

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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Oh dear god, no. I would be scared to leave the fap cave.

[–]wingbatwu 37 points38 points ago

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And I thought they smelled bad... ON THE OUTSIDE!

[–]SaintSinn3r 2 points3 points ago

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[–]treytech 4 points5 points ago

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Don't abuse that image... you never know when you'll really need it.

[–]Tashre 12 points13 points ago

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[–]IntentionalMisnomer 1 point2 points ago

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[–]sympathico 14 points15 points ago

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Creepy, but effective. You could class it up a bit by using a fish tank pump to re-circulate water over it, put some flora in a natural way to metaphorically represent life and virility, and add a stuffed cat where your feet may grind while dueling to the death in PvP gun battles. Or paint a race car on the side. The point is that this is not an ordinary box, it's a mechanism for imagination; like when we used to use left-over boxes as kids for space shuttles, forts to defend, and Jackitoriums.

[–]brf4n 21 points22 points ago

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No true gamer would be able to fit in there

[–]WhatThe____ 17 points18 points ago

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The ultimate fap shack!

[–]James-VZ 21 points22 points ago

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A porn closet...what a fantastic idea.

[–]webby_mc_webberson 18 points19 points ago

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Yeah, there's only one 'game' that goes on in there.

[–]James-VZ 39 points40 points ago

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Furious Anal Vengeance 13.

[–]54chaos45 16 points17 points ago

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i prefered 8 the plot of 13 isn't up to par with the rest of the series but over all 4 stars

EDIT: wait it was a joke?

[–]Dumpster_Baby 2 points3 points ago

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How did you EDIT without editing the post?

EDIT: Oh, did you just do this?

[–]EThirtySicks 3 points4 points ago

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If you edit a post within the first few minutes of posting, the asterisk doesn't show up. I think you have maybe a 10 minute window? Something like that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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2 minutes, I do believe.

[–]jordan042 1 point2 points ago

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The asterisk! I noticed that recently and wondered what it was. Upvote for teaching me something about Reddit.

[–]zombiewafflezz 9 points10 points ago

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I think you mean... what a fapulous idea... hehehehe

I'm sorry, I couldn't stop myself ಠ_ಠ

[–]vicktor3 1 point2 points ago

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You beat me to it!

[–]Rixxer 6 points7 points ago

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You beat it to me!

FTFY

[–]runs 4 points5 points ago

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Where is the flesh light?

[–]ZenStoner 2 points3 points ago

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I prefer comfort and oxygen more.

[–]LtColonelObvious 5 points6 points ago

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I bet it smells like farts in there.

[–]MMD86 7 points8 points ago

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That has to smell horrible and get so hot.

[–]bakuretsu 15 points16 points ago

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Especially with all the sweat and semen everywhere.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Well if it had good ventilation and the computer vented its exhaust to the outside it would be quite awesome actually.

[–]AcidBurns95 13 points14 points ago

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This has been posted and reposted on 4chan for at least a year...

[–]bakuretsu 10 points11 points ago

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And yet, here we are... On reddit.

Where threads about masturbation come to die.

[–]owdee 8 points9 points ago

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a year

3 years, at the very least.

[–]8Dface 2 points3 points ago

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Your computer is going to fucking melt

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I knew a kid in A-school (Navy) that did this to his barracks closet. Felt sorry for the guy who had to share a room with him. He apparently was the ultimate cock block.

[–]drvladimirtzu 2 points3 points ago

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I WANT ONE SO BAD. THAT WAS CUSTOM DESIGNED FOR ME!!!!! =D

[–]morbus 2 points3 points ago

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Lacks a glory hole.

[–]SmarticusRex 2 points3 points ago

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r/battlestations

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Quickly Alfred, to the Fap Cave!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SC2Joker 2 points3 points ago

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Victims? I don't think that word means what you think it means.

[–]Eagles1000 1 point2 points ago

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Is it weird that as soon as i read locking mechanism i thought of that scene from Jurassic park where he goes "we should have locking mechanisms on the vehicle doors" or something along those lines ?

[–]snarr 6 points7 points ago

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Welcome to the spank-tank.

[–]ara_p 4 points5 points ago

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And yet OP's username tells a different tale.

[–]macogle 1 point2 points ago

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Can't believe more people haven't noticed this.

[–]thesixth 1 point2 points ago

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I'd game in there.

[–]ASlyGuy 3 points4 points ago

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I think he game all over the floor.

[–]ExpressoBean 1 point2 points ago

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Oh God. Think of the acoustics. Put some blankets on the walls at the very least.

[–]Mailvorez 1 point2 points ago

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"Mother! What did I tell you about disturbing me in my special place!?!"

[–]mc_curtis10 1 point2 points ago

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"Moooom! Bathroom!"

[–]bubblescivic 1 point2 points ago

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Someone's gonna find a dead guy in that thing some day.

[–]hull26 1 point2 points ago

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I seen this when it was oc, nothing was said about games..I believe he referred to it as "The Beat Cave"

[–]shitterplug 1 point2 points ago

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Guys, this isn't his. Search it on Tineye. This picture is several months old.

[–]Cubaser 1 point2 points ago

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I want this and I don't even game on my computer.

[–]lolwtfomfgbbq 1 point2 points ago

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QUICK! TO THE FAP CAVE!

[–]kyleokeefe 1 point2 points ago

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upvotes for carpet mousepad

[–]LimeTime 1 point2 points ago

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screw amnesia, i dont think i could make it through hl2 in that closet of hell

[–]emiknee 1 point2 points ago

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This looks like a fapping closet.

[–]IntentionalMisnomer 1 point2 points ago

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thats fucking depressing yet awesome at the same time.

[–]LightIytoasted 1 point2 points ago

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Man, that mouse pad really ties the room together.

[–]Wyrmshadow 1 point2 points ago

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reposts of /b/attlestations?

Really?

[–]fubes2000 1 point2 points ago

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Welcome to the Masturbatorium.

[–]themarknessmonster 1 point2 points ago

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This is old news. It was on /b/ almost a year ago.

[–]Olah92 1 point2 points ago

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Is it bad that I actually want something like that?

[–]comporange 1 point2 points ago

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WHAT DAY IS IT!

[–]silent_p 2 points3 points ago

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Why, it's Christmas day, sir!

[–]chioisabunny 1 point2 points ago

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Guys, I'm pretty sure that's jizz on the floor.

[–]iNNeRKaoS 0 points1 point ago

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Lauzons in Grande Prairie had those set up.

[–]TheBigBanger 0 points1 point ago

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Too cramped, not enough ventilation. No good.

[–]Pinuphead 0 points1 point ago

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can anyone one fit in there

[–]ckelley87 0 points1 point ago

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Fapstation. Awwwwwww yeaaaahhhhhhh.

[–]ReKKanize 0 points1 point ago

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I would totally build one of these. I'd make some modifications, but the concept is still the same.

[–]bossmilky 0 points1 point ago

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Quick! To the fap cave!

[–]CobaltSmith 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, gaming, that's what that is for..............

[–]G-Riz 0 points1 point ago

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I just imagined playing Amnesia in there. I just died a little inside

[–]Zalfazar 0 points1 point ago

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The PC better be outside of that box or it will be more like a private oven.

[–]jammer817 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking inspiring.

[–]startaco 0 points1 point ago

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good luck with the heat

[–]Rixxer 0 points1 point ago

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is it bad that I want this...?

[–]fishergijoey 0 points1 point ago

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Cant describe amount of want in words...

[–]AnalBurns 0 points1 point ago

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Fappers, I mean.... Gamers I heard

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was going to comment on how old this is, but then I thought about how old it might have been when i first saw it. Hmmm

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was going to comment on how old this is, but then I thought about how old it might have been when i first saw it. Hmmm

[–]a_cat_not_a_puppet 0 points1 point ago

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this is fappiness! \o/

[–]pohjasakka 0 points1 point ago

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hotbox the shit outta that mother

[–]dvdlesher 0 points1 point ago

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What about ventilation and temperature?! It's kinda like enclosing yourself with bubblewrap, but with more space

[–]WessyNessy 0 points1 point ago

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hand friction + heat from system = total melt down.

[–]MaudOlofsson 0 points1 point ago

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4 hours of quake live in that and you got yourself a sauna

[–]LVL2_Chinbeard 0 points1 point ago

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I'd suggest drilling holes in the back, for air, and no light can enter.

[–]WendyLRogers2 0 points1 point ago

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I'd suggest putting some fake handles on the side, so it looks like a row of file cabinets. And you can mount a WiFi motion detecting camera somewhere in the room so you know when to keep the noise down.

[–]MoonBanana 0 points1 point ago

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i can has?

[–]kpin 0 points1 point ago

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That is fucking awesome, but I'm sure it smells of swamp ass and month old semen.

[–]lizzehb 0 points1 point ago

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Nice....floor stains buddy.

[–]JangSaverem 0 points1 point ago

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Hey gamers I heard you like Private space from the Internet Circa 2008

[–]patrickthewhite1 0 points1 point ago

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Gamers, i heard you don't like your head room.

[–]Ephasia 0 points1 point ago

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There's no lock, it needs a dead bolt.

[–]Marcooon 0 points1 point ago

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you should sell these

[–]joeslo 0 points1 point ago

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This is very sad

[–]le_canuck 0 points1 point ago

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Get your ice soap ready and you're good to go

[–]munnyfish 0 points1 point ago

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claustrophobic much

[–]LordPhantom 0 points1 point ago

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I am planning on doing this and this re-inspired me

[–]rmcsc 0 points1 point ago

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OP's username was a dead giveaway.

[–]nikita_buyevich 0 points1 point ago

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orgasm porn sessions happen right here

[–]fat_louie 0 points1 point ago

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Post a pic of his charred corpse after a house fire.

[–]Eyebrows_McGee 0 points1 point ago

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It's all fun and games until someone bangs and knocks on the side and scares the shit out of you.

[–]thisaccountisbs 0 points1 point ago

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How are you supposed supposed to fap in there?!

[–]Drunkturtle 0 points1 point ago

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Jeez how short are you?

[–]baticrease 0 points1 point ago

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The stains on the floor... o_O

[–]Jealousy123 0 points1 point ago

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Now close the door and have fun playing Amnesia!

[–]ZyrxilToo 0 points1 point ago

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I also like being able to breath.

[–]KoDiak99 0 points1 point ago

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THE LIGHT...IT BURNS!!!!

[–]Tidlywank 0 points1 point ago

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"Did that cabinet just scream fuck?" "Oh, that's just your name here."

[–]thesaltybanana 0 points1 point ago

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TO THE FAP CAVE

DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

[–]x1337wahoox 0 points1 point ago

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We also like leg room.

[–]FckingGyarados 0 points1 point ago

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Captain! Brace for fap warp speed!

[–]curt4074 0 points1 point ago

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Has anyone made any jokes about masturbation yet?

[–]LordOfGummies 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like a cooling nightmare... It must be boiling in there.

[–]lurklurklurkPOST 0 points1 point ago

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Forget the fapping, look at all the shortcuts on his desktop (O_O)

[–]polysyllabist 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, same mouse and keyboard.

Peeps like us love us some macros

[–]helium_farts 0 points1 point ago

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Needs a few things,

AC

Somewhere to Pee

Ice and Mt Dew dispenser.

Optional - Beer tap.

[–]UglyKitty 0 points1 point ago

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I opened comments to say I thought it looked like a faping station but it turned out reddit had already beat me to it. I guess my dream of being the first person to identify a faping station will never come true. :'(

[–]leaptheman 0 points1 point ago

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Nice Rebel XT. ;)

[–]TacoSundae69 0 points1 point ago

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As if it wasn't creepy enough, he had to throw in the passenger seat from a rape van.

[–]Scarjaka 0 points1 point ago

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It's...it's beautiful -sniffles-

[–]Dammit182 0 points1 point ago

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I just knew all the comments would be about masturbation.

[–]iBeenie 0 points1 point ago

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I could only imagine walking into someone else's house and hear a click click click from a tall cupboard box thing.

[–]mestisnewfound 0 points1 point ago

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I must have this!!

[–]FunfettiHead 0 points1 point ago

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G15 keys and wired G9 mouse. Best. Combo. Ever.

[–]jook11 0 points1 point ago

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I bet that cupboard gets really hot and stuffy, really quick.*

*regardless of activity

[–]DogiojoeXZ 0 points1 point ago

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It's perfect.

[–]Ninjadoo 0 points1 point ago

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I was unaware of the cameras in heaven.

[–]LastOfSane 0 points1 point ago

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I'll take 8!

[–]thatoneguy34 0 points1 point ago

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Good, but I don't see enough room for stacks of pizza boxes and 2 liters.

[–]chris-martin 0 points1 point ago

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"Gamers." Right.

I wish I'd had this for my two years in shared single-room dorms.

Shit, I live by myself now, and I still kinda wish I had one of these to fap in.

[–]sandwerm 0 points1 point ago

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definitely seen this elsewhere on the net. downvoted. not yours. now go away and have a nice fap in front of the normal desk you have

[–]PhantomCaesar 0 points1 point ago

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Most disgusting place in the world.

[–]hoody8 0 points1 point ago

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Bong room + fap station, what more can you want?

[–]Ibdaripalw 0 points1 point ago

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I FUCKING WANT.

[–]GroundhogExpert 0 points1 point ago

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*not included in picture: giant pile of soiled tissue and paper towels.

Psst, no one believes that this wasn't made to hide your masturbation shame.

[–]ausstheboss 0 points1 point ago

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Quick! To the "Fap cave!"

[–]fsxfreak 0 points1 point ago

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DUDE THAT'S A MOUSERUG.

[–]othersucker 0 points1 point ago

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MasturbationStation

[–]evilpuke 0 points1 point ago

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Been wondering where the seat out of my van went

[–]jtodd334 0 points1 point ago

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I turned my tiny closet into one of those at my old house. My dad thought I was suffering from some crippling emotional damage lol

[–]dp_ 0 points1 point ago*

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At a LAN party years ago there was a sponsor who made "wombat pods" similar to yours.

Edit: after a little google-fu I managed to find an old article on the product: http://www.bornrich.com/entry/mark-iii-pod-a-fully-enclosed-high-end-gaming-cockpit/ It was actually a pretty nice setup. Too bad the company no longer exists.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That would be the worst dutch oven ever...

[–]Trimillionaire 0 points1 point ago

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This may be what Catholic confession booths will look like in a few years.

[–]BearHoldingAshark 0 points1 point ago

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So... Where do I get one of these?

[–]MikeJones07 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking Awesome.

[–]skylertoomey 0 points1 point ago

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It's a fap castle.

[–]cookiecache 0 points1 point ago

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hot box

[–]djzobe 0 points1 point ago

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where are the air holes?

[–]Linkcity 0 points1 point ago

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Any one know if the is a how to on building this thing?!