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254
255

Why I have no plans to get married (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by sadee

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[–]gwarsh41 100 points101 points ago

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It's simple, marry someone you actually love. Don't give 2 shits about anything but how well you get along. Did you get along really well with that one girl, but did not date her because she was a bit thick? You deserve to be cursed with terrible naggy girls for the rest of your life.

Married my dream girl, no kids, fucking awesome adventures are had on a monthly bases. What fun is spelunking if you dont have a spelunking buddy?

[–]Asperoth 32 points33 points ago

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This man speaks the truth.

You want to be happily married? Marry the girl you fall for who you actually get along with and who, among all other things, is someone you can talk to about ANYTHING in a mature, honest fashion. None of this subtle passive-aggressive shit. Be open, be honest, be mature, and expect the same from your wife.

Her being your dream girl and enjoying going spelunking also helps. :)

[–]ravenouscraving 14 points15 points ago

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And when you're dating, try to stick a finger in her butt while you're eating her out.

If she lets you, she's a keeper.

/edit: and if you don't take the time to figure out how to execute this correctly, you deserve to get dumped.

[–]kahuna08 7 points8 points ago

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What the hell?

[–]WanderingStoner 4 points5 points ago

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stick a finger in her butt while you're eating her out

I know I prefer the freakier girls... but you would be hard pressed to find a girl who didn't enjoy a pink in the stink every once in a while (or every time.)

[–]TripperDay 3 points4 points ago

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True dat. I've done this on a first date. It's a great way to let a woman know you're comfortable around her.

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

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Look, if you get vagina priviliges on the first date don't push it by spelunking her butt.

[–]TripperDay 0 points1 point ago

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hehe. "Push it"

[–]ravenouscraving 1 point2 points ago

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Exactly. This makes sure you don't get a prude.

[–]lebean 0 points1 point ago

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The "no kids" is also a huge boost to happiness levels.

[–]Kuskesmed 6 points7 points ago

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If both of you don't want kids, then yes.

[–]seanfinn10 0 points1 point ago

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Only in your opinion...I have only become happier with kids. To each their own though!

[–]gwarsh41 0 points1 point ago

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Sometimes I feel bad for how much I enjoy this song, in both message and music. If you love your wife, you will probably feel bad if you enjoy this song as well.

If you wanna be happy

None the less, I do like the message in this song.

[–]Asperoth 2 points3 points ago

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I can see it's point, but I wholeheartedly disagree.

That song assumes pretty girls are selfish bitches. That's a sad outlook to subscribe to.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I always think of [this](www.pwned.nl) cartoon when I hear that. It's funny as hell.

[–]Thad_Jarvis -1 points0 points ago

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ass spelunking

[–]WanderingStoner 13 points14 points ago*

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Thats cool, but you should at least know why some people don't want to get married.

I respect a lifetime vow between 2 people, but I am not religious and I don't think its the governments business at all.

What fun is spelunking if you dont have a spelunking buddy?

Well, what if I want a spelunking buddy and someone to play video games with, but they are different people? And maybe a freak on the side to have sex with once a week?

I like being able to go to a concert by myself, dance with a woman I just met for one song or the whole night, and then just let it go leaving only the memory. Not all of us want a committed relationship all the time.

[–]gwarsh41 10 points11 points ago

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That's cool, do what you love!

[–]WanderingStoner 6 points7 points ago

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You too! Congrats on marrying your dream girl!!

[–]gwarsh41 4 points5 points ago

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Thanks!

[–]SenorMcBean 3 points4 points ago

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Well that went nicely...

[–]PST87 7 points8 points ago

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2 usernames, 1 conflicted redditor.

[–]armannd 2 points3 points ago

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Sounds like the beginning of a future movie trailer.

[–]mathazar 0 points1 point ago

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The entire time, he's been replying to himself?

[–]evilalien 4 points5 points ago

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Agree. Its pretty simple and straightforward, but so many people never get it. We've had 10 years of great adventures and just now have had our first child. Holy shit...I never realized how awesome it would be to have a kid.

[–]seanfinn10 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think people really get it until you have a kid of your own. Some people don't want them, and that's fine, but it is the happiest I have ever been.

[–]ObviouslyNotTrolling 1 point2 points ago

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Those types of girls are harder to find these days...

[–]gwarsh41 0 points1 point ago

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My thought process was, "If my dream girl is out there, where would she be?"

I decided she would not be in the town I live in, because it is a backwards hick town, and that she would also probably be looking for someone like me, but also be about as lazy as I am. So I tried the internet, 6 or so months later I found her. I was lucky, she was only 5 hours away from me.

[–]I_TYPE_IN_ALL_CAPS 3 points4 points ago

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she was a bit thick

DO YOU MEAN FAT, OR STUPID? YOU USED A WORD WHICH MIGHT COMPLETELY UNDERMINE YOUR POINT, DEPENDING ON THE READER'S CONTEXT.

[–]gwarsh41 2 points3 points ago

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Either or.

[–]taskrokone 0 points1 point ago

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i think he meant large boned

[–]thebluecadet 1 point2 points ago

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and you had to sign a government contract and potentially give away all your shit when it ends to have a spelunking buddy because???

all these things can be done with a GIRLFRIEND, whom of which you do not need to go to the federal government/state government and pay a fee and sign a document..

marriage = NO POINT

[–]lazermole 10 points11 points ago

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Lolz "potentially give away all your shit."

Pre-marital assets and assets bought with non-marital monies are not subject to division under most state's laws (I know about Family Law in my own state because I work for a lawyer who does mostly family law). My husband and I keep separate finances, and he transfers money from my account to his for monthly mutual bills (rent, car insurance, health insurance, utilities). My husband's shit is my husband's shit, and my shit is my shit. We're also not shitheads, so if something happened, a split would be amicable.

We get some sweet ass tax breaks, and I wouldn't have health insurance if I wasn't married to him, since my employer doesn't offer health insurance and individual plans are totes expensive.

Plus, I love the shit out of him. We're both atheists, but being married is fun.

Also, we didn't have to go to a lawyer ($$$) to work out all that stuff that comes standard upon being married. Emergency room access, power of attorney, etc etc.

So, while there may be no point for YOU to be married, there are plenty of awesome reasons to be married for all sorts of people.

[–]FoxifiedNutjob -1 points0 points ago

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Sorry, but tax breaks and insurance aren't enough reason for most people to stay together.

[–]lazermole 0 points1 point ago

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You don't stay together for the tax breaks and insurance. They're merely a perk of choosing to be married.

You stay together because you like and respect each other. Seriously. I mean, Divorce blows and is a pain in the ass, but I certainly don't view Divorce as some moral failing or something.

And my husband would have to pull some serious Jekyll and Hyde bullshit before I'd change my mind about trusting him with my Power of Attorney.

[–]FoxifiedNutjob 0 points1 point ago

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Let me put it this way, tax breaks and discount on insurance aren't enough reason to sign a contract with the state. Tax breaks and discount on insurance aren't enough reason to give up constitutional protection(s). Tax breaks and discount on insurance aren't enough reason to pay thousands in legal fees if/when things go south.

You don't need to be married to someone to love, respect and care for them even for your whole life. I suggest you research reasons not to get married on your own. Most married people would never do that. I'm sure you will.

[–]lazermole 0 points1 point ago

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You don't pay thousands in legal fees if you go through an uncontested divorce, which, because my husband and I aren't shitheads (seriously, we married each other because our values are the same), would be the course of action. We aren't planning to have children, so there would be no custody issues. Though if children were involved in a non-marital relationship, it would STILL cost thousands in legal fees to work out a custody agreement if the two parties could not agree.

I never said you had to be married to do anything of note. But I would not have insurance AT ALL if I wasn't married to my husband. It's not a question of "discount" insurance, it's a question of having insurance available to me at all, beyond a token catastrophic policy because individual health plans outside of employer providers are ridiculously crappy. That would mean no gyno visits, no prescription coverage on birth control, no access to an orthopedist when my back decides to go out (lower disc degeneration due to herniation in my teens).

Also, if you love, respect and care for someone your whole life and then they get extremely ill or die, unless you paid the several hundred dollars in attorneys fees to get power of attorney, guardianship, etc, you have no legal standing in executing their final wishes. $50-75 and all that stuff comes standard in a marriage contract.

I don't know which constitutional protections I've given up by entering into a marriage contract. Hell, I even get extra protection because I can't be compelled to testify against my spouse in a trial.

So... I can't think of a single reason why I shouldn't be married to my husband. Insurance, lower taxes, spousal immunity, power of attorney, guardianship. We have separate financial identities, so his debts and my debts are our own and would not fall to the other should one of us die. I mean... it's a pretty sweet deal. Plus I got a free name change out of it, and my new last name is pretty bad ass and has a lot of history.

[–]FoxifiedNutjob 0 points1 point ago

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-----"Insurance, lower taxes, spousal immunity, power of attorney, guardianship"-----

You act as if you cannot have these things without a marriage license. That Is the farthest from the truth. You can have all these things by signing a contract or "prenuptial" agreement. What you are failing to understand is that a marriage license is a contract between you and the state, not between the both of you. Without a marriage license, the state cannot prosecute as easy as if you did have one.

I take it that you are fairly young but how do you know your husband will feel the same way as you do in 10-15-20 years? You don't and you don't "own" him. Also, you make it sound like you can't get insurance without being married.

You can have legal protection without a marriage license for everything you mentioned minus discount on insurance and taxes.

[–]lazermole 0 points1 point ago

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And so what exactly is the down-side?

My husband is all growed up. I'm 25 and he's 32. I love him for his values, and the fact that we enjoy the same activities and interests is just a bonus. His values are his values, and my values are my values, and they're extremely compatible and similar. Core values, after you're all growed up, don't change (barring a traumatic brain injury). He's faced his mortality and 2 separate types of cancer. There are very few life altering experiences he has left to weather.

So while I don't 100% know that he won't turn into a jerk, I'm fairly certain.

And I never said you needed a marriage license to have those protections. I said you needed to spend more $$$ on a lawyer to get those protections transferred to your significant other, whereas my marriage license was $65. There isn't a lawyer out there who could draft a prenuptial agreement and PoA and guardianship papers for only $65.

I never said I owned him. And did you even read what I said? I couldn't afford ACTUAL INSURANCE if I couldn't get insurance through my husband's employer.

And if he's not the same person in 10-15-20 years, then we get an uncontested Divorce for a couple hundred bucks. Seriously. Divorce doesn't freak me out, and he's not a vindictive asshole, nor am I. It would be exactly what it would be: a dissolution of a contract.

[–]FoxifiedNutjob 0 points1 point ago

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You are totally assuming that both of your feelings won't change. You are basing a divorce scenario as if both of you will completely separate on common grounds, a very naive assumption.

[–]thebluecadet -1 points0 points ago

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agree to disagree.. never seen a ape marry another ape

[–]lazermole 0 points1 point ago

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Er... humans are apes... so you probably have seen an ape marry another ape.

[–]railroad-redditor 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah, there's totally no point to the thousands of dollars I save in taxes by being married. And the hospital rights, health insurance, etc.

No point, yep.

[–]thebluecadet -1 points0 points ago

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i just make sure to not be a bum and suck the teet of the government for "benefits" but do what you gotta do

and have fun paying taxes LOL

[–]railroad-redditor 1 point2 points ago

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What? How is getting married being a bum? What are you even talking about?

[–]thebluecadet -1 points0 points ago

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people doing it for the government benefits.. what a joke

[–]gwarsh41 6 points7 points ago

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I forget how cynical and atheist a lot of people on reddit are. Marriage may be at its base, a contract. It may have originated through religion, however it can mean something different to different people.

To argue your point, you dont get awesome tax breaks for having a girlfriend. The government pays me good for that contract, and all I had to do was sign a paper. I will not even try to explain what marriage means to my wife and I. I know you do not care and would not understand. You and I look at life differently, that is fine.

[–]Memphisbbq -1 points0 points ago

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I'm not sure that's cynical, just looking at it and weighing the pros and cons.

[–]thebluecadet -1 points0 points ago

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im not an atheist at all.. but yes. some people like to do what they think is expected to do in life.. i chose not too..

marriage - nope children - nope live a fucking adventure and not settle for anything - YEP

[–]FoxifiedNutjob -2 points-1 points ago

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Tax break > half your shit?

You must not have a lot of valuables.

Over 60% of marriages end in divorce because humans are malleable. How you look at life now will not be how you look at life later.

[–]gwarsh41 0 points1 point ago

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You assume I am going to get divorced and lose half my shit. In this assumption you also assumed that if I was to be divorced my wife would attempt to take as much as possible.

tax breaks for being happy is pretty awesome in my book.

How you look at life now will not be how you look at life later.

That seems like something you should heed as well.

[–]FoxifiedNutjob 0 points1 point ago

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----"You assume I am going to get divorced and lose half my shit. In this assumption you also assumed that if I was to be divorced my wife would attempt to take as much as possible."----

My assumptions are based on facts. Again, over half of marriages end in divorce. I don't know you so I am not assuming yours will.

And yes, I am malleable, but I think i will always research the pros and cons of big decisions in life. Most don't. And if I do happen to change my mind about it later, I won't have already given up constitutional protections and thousands in legal fees to lawyers and courts all for tax breaks and discounts on insurance.

Also, understand that I believe in loving someone for the rest of your life if you are lucky enough to find such compatibility, so don't get this confused with my point about marriage.

[–]tkagotquants -1 points0 points ago

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Speak the truth! I still think that way; it makes no sense to sign some government contract, if we love each other, then we don't need a silly contract to prove anything.

[–]Bubble-Wrap 0 points1 point ago

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Monthly BASIS...

[–]ShitBarometer 50 points51 points ago*

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and rode motorcycles and fucked with some cute skinny girls and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age

Yeah, because all that shit happens to most single redditors.

[–]dmcnelly 16 points17 points ago

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To be fair, if most of us tried dating women half our age, we'd be considered pedophiles.

[–]TripperDay 2 points3 points ago

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I think reddit is stunting my maturity.

[–]gwarsh41 3 points4 points ago

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From what I gather, this is what redditors feel like the are doing while browsing reddit.

While redditors insist they are not bias, shallow, hipster and are accepting of other peoples feeling and religion. They are in fact liars. Not everyone who browses reddit is a redditor though, same way that playing a game does not make you a gamer (or so I hear)

[–]thecotton 35 points36 points ago

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I read that and it actually made me sad. I find living a life based around materialism and the inability to connect to another person-- to be indicative of a persons character.

And money is cool-- that can be buried with you in your grave that no one will come and visit.

[–]verugan 12 points13 points ago

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I won't care because I'll be dead.

[–]amsoly 9 points10 points ago

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That's ok, no one else will care either.

[–]ultimanium 1 point2 points ago*

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Aside from the fact that, once dead, it really doesn't matter what people think of you, marriage and relations are only one way to be remembered, if that is one's desire.

A desire, which is just as shallow as wanting material objects in life.

[–]armannd 0 points1 point ago

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Who cares?

[–]amsoly 0 points1 point ago

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No one!!

[–]Etteril 3 points4 points ago*

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Same here. It made me feel something totally contrary to the point of the pic, much like this did: clicky

Call me a sap or old fashioned, but in my mind it's definitely not the norm to truly desire shallow relationships and no intimacy in life.

EDIT: Not to knock money or, heaven forbid, xkcd. It's just that life has more to offer than what commercials and bitter misanthropes would have us believe.

[–]DJPho3nix 5 points6 points ago

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The difference is I bet you aren't a prince.

Of any sort.

[–]tsilihin666 39 points40 points ago

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once upon a time....there was a single man....who over valued himself to the point off delusion....he hit on anything with a vagina.....got turned down often.....masturbated using his own tears as lube....drank himself retarded in social situations causing awkward scenes.....rode the city bus because he lost his license....talked about how his independence was better than dealing with a bitch wife....cried at night because his friends got married and had kids....preformed poorly at work due to lack of motivation for living....was fired for looking at bestiality videos.....frequently bragged about inventing the question mark....the end.

[–]TheFAJ 18 points19 points ago

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That guy sounds like a solid bro

[–]Nrksbullet 6 points7 points ago

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A solid Pro Bro working pro-bono for Bro boners.

[–]mathazar 0 points1 point ago

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Bob Loblaw?

[–]FoxifiedNutjob 0 points1 point ago

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Dad, is that you?!

[–]lookslikeabear 0 points1 point ago

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I wish you a thousand upvotes.

[–]thevillian 13 points14 points ago

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Too ... many ... fonts! Argh!

[–]squirrelscout 10 points11 points ago

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Too many false endings. It was like the Lord of the Rings all over again.

[–]DecentOpinions 7 points8 points ago

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Just get on the fucking ship already. Fuck sake.

[–]zeekjr 6 points7 points ago

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This has probably been reposted 150 times

[–]DecentOpinions 0 points1 point ago

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It's repost count is fast approaching on its font count.

[–]gmaterna 0 points1 point ago

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151

[–]aeiuo 0 points1 point ago

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The original 151 reposts are the only ones worth caring about.

[–]verugan 7 points8 points ago

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I love being single and I've accepted that I may go through my entire life without finding "the one" and if I do, even better. The comic is an exagerration, but personally for now it's boxers around the house, video games whenever I want, and football on Sundays. I can go out with my friends and visit my family when I want. I don't have to check with anyone else if it's ok to do something. I don't have to do things I don't want to do like go to weddings, shopping, or other social gatherings when I'm there "just because". I can fix whatever I want to eat for dinner. I don't find it lonely or mind numbingly depressing at all.

[–]DecentOpinions 9 points10 points ago

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As a matter of interest, what age are you? If you say 21 or something I will shit all over your keyboard.

[–]verugan 1 point2 points ago

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36

[–]lazermole 10 points11 points ago

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So... wait... wives make you put on pants when you're at home?

I must be doing something wrong as a wife. My husband surfs Reddit and plays video games in his underpants all the time. We don't have to get each other's permission to visit friends or family - but we do like to keep each other informed as to our whereabouts (it's pretty nice having someone care where you are, actually...)

I go to my husband's friend's weddings just as he goes to my friend's weddings and social gatherings. I hang out with his friends more than I hang out with my own... I mean, seriously - where are you people getting the idea that you lose all autonomy when you're married?

Don't marry a controlling asshole, and make sure that you actually maintain a personal identity (you know, the reason why they started dating you in the first place) throughout, and shit is so cash.

[–]Etteril 4 points5 points ago

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where are you people getting the idea that you lose all autonomy when you're married?

People are watching too much TV and repeating the same sorry bull and unfunny jokes until everyone believes it. Marry someone you like and be good to each other, and it's a lot of fun. It's not rocket science.

Even still, my husband will state his own opinion on something and people (sorry, usually males) in the room will be like "Ooh, you'll be in the doghouse later," or "If she's not happy, you're not happy, amirite???," even though they've never seen me show him anything but respect. So dumb.

[–]DaMountainDwarf 2 points3 points ago

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So, you're saying it's at least a BIT relative? GET OUTTA HERE!!!

[–]missafine 3 points4 points ago

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Why is this even a contest? Who cares who is single or married? Who I ask you?

[–]drgk 9 points10 points ago

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Because those middle age, balding, fat, immature man-boys at the bar are SO AWESOME!!!

[–]Bezzie 2 points3 points ago

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Honestly, marriage does have it's woes, but do did being single. I find it hard to better myself nowadays that I have more responsibilities, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

[–]JasonAnon -3 points-2 points ago

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do did?

[–]Bezzie 0 points1 point ago

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so did. My fingers are like fists. sorry.

[–]mbinder 2 points3 points ago

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And then you had a bad day and no one to talk to, realized no one in the entire world actually cared about or truly knew you, and all your friends moved on.

It's never that black and white.

[–]mickawes 2 points3 points ago

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Yes, of course thats why you wont get married...

[–]MissCharmCity 2 points3 points ago

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WHO DRINKS MILK OUT OF A BOX ??

[–]kenatogo 1 point2 points ago

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Non-Canadians.

[–]MissCharmCity 1 point2 points ago

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is this something I should look up? does milk really come in a box?

[–]armannd 0 points1 point ago

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Rebels.

[–]MissCharmCity 1 point2 points ago

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should have known!

[–]streitouttacompton 33 points34 points ago

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I always lol when single people like to pretend they have it better.

[–]TripperDay 28 points29 points ago

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I always think it's a little sad when someone acts like their life is what's right for everyone.

[–]ShitBarometer 12 points13 points ago

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Other than

fucked with some cute skinny girls

&

dated women half my age

I've done most all of that since i've been married & some of it with my wife.

Edit: Of course I have heard a fair amount of bitchin' however most of it was deserved and probably kept me out of a fair amount of trouble.

[–]DaMountainDwarf 5 points6 points ago

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I say that if you're going to stick with one woman, make sure she makes you a better person.

[–]DecentOpinions -1 points0 points ago

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Or that she has a sweet ass am I right fellas? No I'm not. Personality all the way.

[–]sadee[S] 12 points13 points ago

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Not Married != Single

[–]streitouttacompton 18 points19 points ago

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It was clear from the image that it meant single.

[–]neuter 2 points3 points ago

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I would laugh out loud too when married people tell me they have it better than single people but I haven't heard it escape from anyone's mouth yet.

[–]streitouttacompton 2 points3 points ago*

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That's because we're too busy getting laid and consoling our forever alone single friends.

[–]Avatar_Ko 5 points6 points ago

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Where's the funny?

[–]armannd -1 points0 points ago

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In your pants.

[–]Mitz510 3 points4 points ago

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I actually plan on getting married and having kids. I don't want to die lonely and sad.

[–]armannd -2 points-1 points ago

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Getting married and having kids is in no way a guarantee that you won't die lonely and sad. It actually introduces the possibility that you'll die lonelier and sadder than a single guy who didn't have kids. You'll also probably die earlier.

[–]Syini666 1 point2 points ago

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And quite possibly far poorer as well

[–]JasonAnon -3 points-2 points ago

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but you get to leave the toilet seat up.

[–]Mitz510 -1 points0 points ago

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I'm a gentleman. Shit like that is no problem. Or I could be like my dad and piss with the door open and never put the toilet seat down.

[–]fancy-chips 3 points4 points ago

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all those things sound kinda gross and jouvanile.

I'm 25 and even if I weren't with somebody, I wouldn't want to bang random girls.. Most of the ones that still do that are skanky as hell and look like prostitutes.

I can't drink like that anymore, I don't know why you'd want to. I feel terrible in the morning after a half a bottle of wine.

Motorcycles are dangerous as hell.

Nobody to snuggle and make pies for? No thanks.

[–]LoughLife 1 point2 points ago

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Eh hangovers are hangovers. The larger sugar to water ratio, the more likely you are to wake up with a head full of ache. Wine and beer both have high sugar/carb content, but beer has a higher % of water in it. Drinking a lot of wine on the other hand, makes me hate life the next day.

[–]RealDisagreer 6 points7 points ago

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and masturbating into a sock at 3 in the morning while playing warcraft on one monitor and watching porn on the other one.

[–]TripperDay 16 points17 points ago

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Dude, you just described what happily married men do when their wives are out of town.

[–]taskrokone 1 point2 points ago

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my inspiration for a relationship in the process of ending badly

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 1 point2 points ago

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I cannot stand

when pictures like this have Different fonts

It's gotten so bad lately that I tend not to read them

In fact

ICan't readthem AtAll Anymore

[–]TheBananaKing 0 points1 point ago

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The fact that people make pictures of text in the first place is irritating enough. That they then go and slather them in retarded font-vomit... GAH.

[–]FoxifiedNutjob 1 point2 points ago

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A marriage license is a contract with the state, NOT with each other.

Until people get to figuring that out, they get exactly what they deserve.

[–]mustavio 3 points4 points ago

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forever alone...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I knew this comment section would be filled with married people with hurt feelings. And now they're calling people who don't want to get married depressed losers. Predictable shit.

[–]jamr 2 points3 points ago

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Ah, heterosexuals are amusing.

[–]phillibl 1 point2 points ago

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[Fixed] No one will ever love you.

[–]Buttarflie -1 points0 points ago

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you must think you're something special :(

[–]revsehi 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not sure why, but I read this in a British accent. I think it was funnier that way.

[–]haux 0 points1 point ago

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Fucked skinny girls? Screw that. (no pun intended)

[–]000130413 0 points1 point ago

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Haha I submitted this a month ago and got nothing for it. I must be doing something wrong here.

http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/kg9q8/a_happy_ending/

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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Box of milk?

[–]birdisthewird 0 points1 point ago

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i have my suspicions...

[–]saladTOSSIN 0 points1 point ago

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TFM

[–]Syini666 0 points1 point ago

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Those are just the upsides to being single, there really needs to be an addendum to this where you see what can happen when a wife decides she wants to take half of everything you own, keep you from your children as an act of revenge and take a percentage of every paycheck you make.

[–]seanfinn10 0 points1 point ago

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I'm just going to point something out about being married...I have a lot more sex than I ever did before. The whole being married and having kids removing sex from your life is a myth in my situation. On average, we have sex probably 4 times a week. Just sayin'

[–]Null-0 -3 points-2 points ago

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And lastly you die alone in your own filth in a retirement home where no one cares about you. With the only thing to think about is your past where you didn't have a single real friend or relationship.

[–]victordavion 11 points12 points ago

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So if you don't get married you can't have friends either? That doesn't make sense.

[–]siouxsie_sioux 16 points17 points ago

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Yeah but... you can leave the toilet seat up!

[–]dmsuperman 4 points5 points ago

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is your past where you didn't have a single real friend or relationship.

You're making quite a few assumptions. Why is it that only married people can have real friends and relationships? Why is marriage a magical exception?

[–]TripperDay -1 points0 points ago

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Why is it so difficult for you people to understand that one can't be both mature and happy without a spouse and children!

[–]dmsuperman 6 points7 points ago

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I'd tend to argue the exact opposite in fact. If you feel you need a wife and kids to make your life complete, they are almost certainly not going to make your life complete. If you aren't happy before you have a wife and kids, you probably won't be after.

[–]tidux 2 points3 points ago

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Psst... you got sarcasmed.

[–]dmsuperman 0 points1 point ago

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I understand, and was arguing to the opposite effect of the sarcasm. We were making the same point.

[–]lazermole 0 points1 point ago

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Who the shit wants to be mature?

The main issue I'm seeing is the idea that if you're married, you're boring and take yourself too seriously and if you're single that you're irresponsible and lonely.

[–]Celltrex 3 points4 points ago

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But I .... I don't give a fuck. What should I do now? Oh by the way, your wife will die first, so who will give a fuck about you then? Your kids that spat on your face since they were teenagers? I'd rather live with a dog than with a human in the house. Only a human being would think as depressive as you do.

[–]Null-0 -4 points-3 points ago

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I never spit in the face of my parents, and i will support them for as long as they live just like they did for me when i was a kid.

[–]Celltrex 0 points1 point ago

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Good. Today's teens are ashamed of their parents when their friends see them.

[–]Null-0 0 points1 point ago

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Well my parents are cool, and know how to respect their kids so i respect them.

[–]NomadE85 0 points1 point ago

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The multiples of fonts are not clever or creative. Its annoying. Stop it.

[–]oboedude 0 points1 point ago

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I feel like when this story is told, the presenter as soon as it is finished should throw on sunglasses a leather Jacket and get on a motorcycle that leaves a trail of fire. But not like ghost rider because that was a shitty movie. Nicholas Cage can really do a lot better. Like the movie National Treasure. That didn't need a sequel. On the contrary sequels can be good, like how it was announced recently that Jurassic Park 4 is in production, which i personally am really excited for. I grew up with the movie, I never owned it though. I went to my best friends house to watch it all the time. We would meet after soccer, it was awesome. He's a pretty cool guy. We saw Paranormal Activity 3 the other day. Talk about scary! well anyway i have to tend to some waffles now. kbai

[–]binermoots 0 points1 point ago

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Milk...out of the...box?

[–]Carter17 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sure that's the reason why you'll never get married.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Celltrex 0 points1 point ago

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I'd rather look like that, than feel like this: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b8/Al_Bundy.jpg/289px-Al_Bundy.jpg

[–]cma6250 -1 points0 points ago

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Last year I got dumped by my live in gf. It stung pretty bad. A little while after that something dawned on me, I've had several ladies in my life, so, as I'm seeing another girl now I look at relationships now this way: Instead of seeing the girl as potential marriage material, I believe there was one before her and there will be another after her. This really makes you appreciate the girl you're with instead of seeing her as the be all end all.

[–]JasonAnon -3 points-2 points ago

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I said it once it will say it a 1000 times. i will never get married. thanks reddit.

[–]RubyBlye -1 points0 points ago

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You got the wrong message from that. If you want to live like a prince, be born to a king an a queen.

[–]jaskmackey -1 points0 points ago

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Aww, he never got cheated on while at work. Lonely brokenhearted boy :(

[–]Ovenhouse -2 points-1 points ago

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It seems like this list only gets better...

[–]miurabull -2 points-1 points ago

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This is some good shit right here yo

[–]j8sadm632b -3 points-2 points ago

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Haha yeah women suck amirite?

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