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all 158 comments

[–]Bongpig 142 points143 points ago

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But you forgot the part about struggling to keep your dick in and showering her in sweat

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points ago

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Complete with dangling udders of moobs

[–]beepbeepimajeep_ 32 points33 points ago

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not to mention the constant heavy breathing

[–]what_american_dream 31 points32 points ago

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TIL skinny people don't breathe deeply while having sex.

[–]rocknrollhikeskoo 24 points25 points ago

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I hold my breath until I'm done. I don't even get close to dying!

[–]FormerContra 12 points13 points ago

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Now I'm imagining the massive inhale before you start. "Alrighty, just gotta AAAUUUHUHHHGGGHHHH."

[–]rocknrollhikeskoo 3 points4 points ago

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I don't even need that much!

I'm in and I'm out. Almost every time I've ever had intercourse I've been compared to the German Blitzkrieg strategy.

[–]FormerContra 2 points3 points ago

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"Godammit, Winston, he's done it again."

[–]chucknorrisismyson 16 points17 points ago

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heart attack by the 5th stroke

[–]Tashre 7 points8 points ago

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Managed to keep going past the 3rd??

[–]Tredinator 0 points1 point ago

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I doubt I could endure one stroke, let alone five or even three! I mean by that point I would likely be blind as well an completely insane

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Oh my god... is that a Cheetos Puff stuck in there?

[–]wes337 27 points28 points ago

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Can somebody link to the comic with the animepro guy and the chick sitting on the train?

[–]Nard_Dawg 57 points58 points ago

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[–]dclowd9901 32 points33 points ago

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"fuck this gay earth" is one of my favorite comic lines of all time.

[–]zilong 6 points7 points ago

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ftge

[–]HeyImAlex 21 points22 points ago

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fuck this gay earth?

[–]JtheHomicidalManiac 17 points18 points ago

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writer is obviously very talented and articulate.

[–]alsorobots 7 points8 points ago

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"I wash myself with a rag on a stick. Hehh Hehh Hehh"

[–]eternalavalanche 0 points1 point ago

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Precise.

[–]xolieo 30 points31 points ago

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Yes because human males only come in two forms. Grossly obese and deathly skinny.

[–]stareattheart 10 points11 points ago

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Pretty much this.

I like both slightly plump and slightly skinnier guys, as well as middle-man guys. If I had to choose in between a bone skinny and whale, I'd choose my hand.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I'd choose your hand too. You are a girl right?

[–]stareattheart 1 point2 points ago

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Yep.

[–]Praesens 2 points3 points ago

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I always thought women preferred vibrators to their hand.

[–]stareattheart 5 points6 points ago

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Different strokes.

[–]Praesens 2 points3 points ago

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Pun intended?

[–]stareattheart 1 point2 points ago

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No.

[–]Praesens 2 points3 points ago

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That's a shame.

[–]Ultramerican 1 point2 points ago

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What about "in shape" guys that aren't fat, OR skinny and out of shape?

[–]stareattheart 1 point2 points ago

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Uhh, I'd rather go for plumpier than skinnier.

I love manly men, so I prefer man with some muscles.

[–]Ultramerican 0 points1 point ago

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Just saying you can be a big guy without having any fat on you and also be skinny without being weak - if you're in shape.

[–]stareattheart 0 points1 point ago

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Oh yeah, I know.

[–]youanden 0 points1 point ago

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Portal 2?

[–]stareattheart 0 points1 point ago

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Yes.

[–]GustavoFrings 63 points64 points ago

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Not to mention finding implied penis and not having your partners pass out from the sour cheese and spoiled milk stench eminating from every crevice.

[–]JibberGXP 23 points24 points ago

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My goodness, you're the Fat Gustapo.

[–]pandatodaka 3 points4 points ago

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To the attic!

[–]tEnPoInTs 7 points8 points ago

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Nah, the floorboards will creak too much. Also they'll hear the heavy wheezing through the ceiling.

[–]pandatodaka 1 point2 points ago

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fine i'll just eat them.

[–]Fugitivebush -1 points0 points ago

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YOU CAN'T! There is nothing on a Fat Gustapo to eat.

[–]RosieJo 4 points5 points ago

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Oh Lord, you have a talent with words. I actually gagged.

[–]alsorobots 1 point2 points ago

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I'd like to know where YOU store your sour cheese and spoiled milk! PFFT!

[–]GustavoFrings 5 points6 points ago

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Inside the folds of my uncircumcised penis but of course.

[–]hobofats 9 points10 points ago

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this comic is leaving out the part where for every extra 35 lbs a man is over weight his penis shrinks by an inch due to it being engulfed in fat.

[–]BPsandman84 3 points4 points ago

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Holy fuck! You mean I have a 9 inch dick?!

[–]qloria 37 points38 points ago

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I tend to go for bigger guys =]

[–]MayIReiterate 18 points19 points ago

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Careful with that, Reddit is anti-fat, so you will get lots of downvotes.

[–]DaBoel 21 points22 points ago

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Reddit is anti-fat? yay!

[–]ruffus4life 65 points66 points ago

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does this mean reddit hates itself

[–]Thunderbean 21 points22 points ago

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was that a question

[–]ruffus4life 6 points7 points ago

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idk?

[–]Chaserboy 1 point2 points ago

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mmmmmmmmmmm doughnuts

[–]Vacht -1 points0 points ago

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drool

[–]flinxsl 0 points1 point ago

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What are you talking about? Nobody is fat on the internet!

[–]HellaBitchin 0 points1 point ago

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So reddit is thin?

[–]MayIReiterate 0 points1 point ago

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You didn't know that?

[–]danielgrak 7 points8 points ago

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I assumed that beyond /r/fitness reddit was MOSTLY fat

[–]jollyxgreenexgiant 4 points5 points ago

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You'd think that, but from what I gather, it's a pretty even spread. I mean, no, the average probably doesn't have a five mile time, but still wears under a 40" waist.

[–]RedAnarchist 2 points3 points ago

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still wears under a 40" waist

That's a pretty low bar

[–]megagoten 0 points1 point ago

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fourty fucking inches?

i was a goddamn monster of a fat sludge at 35 and i'm at 6 feet

[–]darksidemojo 6 points7 points ago

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Reddit is anti-fat, but you forget it is also pro-boobs.

[–]MayIReiterate -1 points0 points ago

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Hah! Have an upvote.

[–]GrinningPariah 7 points8 points ago

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Reddit is also pro-female. She'll be fine.

[–]Robbuffet 0 points1 point ago

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It will balance out.

[–]Bezzie 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah I don't get that at all...

[–]MayIReiterate 1 point2 points ago

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It's just the "In" thing to hate on fat people.

[–]Bezzie 5 points6 points ago

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I see. I feel this way about 90% of the things on reddit.

[–]mindshadow -1 points0 points ago

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/r/loseit is not optional!

[–]MayIReiterate 0 points1 point ago

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I prefer my weight, nobody messes with a guy who can sit on them and crush their rib cage.

[–]Doctor731 0 points1 point ago

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Most would just stay outside arm length and enjoy total safety.

[–]MayIReiterate 0 points1 point ago

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Depends on height, a person can be big and quick on his feet if he has the height. Last thing you EVER want to do, is get into a fight with a big guy and expect to just out maneuver him. Don't come crying when he closes distance like a madman and pounds your face into goo.

[–]Doctor731 0 points1 point ago

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I was thinking more in the Jabba the Hutt range. Also I doubt there are many humans who I could win a fight with in this world, most people (fat or not) would probably kick my skinny, atrophied ass.

[–]MayIReiterate 0 points1 point ago

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Most people don't pick fights with skinny little guys, except for childish crap like in Middle/Highschool. I on the other hand get in constant fights, mainly because I'm a prime target for people to try and up their social status.

I'm a big guy, I'm 6'8", and I weight about 410lbs. Normally you wouldn't think people would be so stupid as to start a fight with a guy the size of a Ford Pinto, but people really feel the need to show how awesome they are. At least until they get older and grow out of such nonsense.

I personally don't like fighting, but it's either that or get my ass kicked all the time.

[–]megagoten 0 points1 point ago

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they roll faster than you'd think

[–]Doctor731 1 point2 points ago

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[–]megagoten 1 point2 points ago

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hats off to you, sir

[–]soneat -1 points0 points ago

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Mostly just against chicks though, it's cool.

[–]Kealper 1 point2 points ago

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I see you're at 0 points, have my upvote.

[–]Haezeus 5 points6 points ago

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And my axe!

[–]qloria 1 point2 points ago

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=]

[–]arisaka_bayonet 9 points10 points ago

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I think some of you are missing the punchline. See how at the end the comic is true only in the mind of a morbidly obese man who is alone? The comic isn't actually about how skinny people are terrible in bed.

[–]nobodynose 20 points21 points ago

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the original was though. this version they added the "fuck this gay earth" anime guy at the end. the original comic doesn't have the fat dude at the end.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Syujinkou 1 point2 points ago

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[–]kragmoor 3 points4 points ago

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i bet a fat guy made that comic

[–]PuTongHua 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen this comic lots of times on reddit. Why does nobody else seem to realise how nasty it is?

[–]revolutionaryfaggot 1 point2 points ago

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I like guys with a bit of meat on their bones. Not morbidly obese like that, though. ohhh no.

[–]girlyusername 1 point2 points ago

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psh, I agree with that stuff. skinny guys do feel all boney and fat guys are great w the before/after sex snacks.

[–]Turin082 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a fat guy, and after sexy time with the girlfriend over the weekend, she was quite pleased with the cookies afterward.

[–]girlyusername 0 points1 point ago

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see.

[–]trahh 4 points5 points ago

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LOL whoever made that original clearly needed to make that for comfort issues.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]throwaway1403 2 points3 points ago

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Google'd "theamazingatheist" - Fat ugly guy Google'd "theamazingatheist's girlfriend" - Fat ugly girl

I'm pretty sure if she made the comic she did it to make herself feel better for being fat, and for having a fat boyfriend. No traditionally good looking person will want to mate "below their means", don't kid yourself into thinking that.

[–]trahh 0 points1 point ago

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Mmm i doubt the person who edited it was uncomfortable, they probably see it as I did; someone who's trying to overcompensate for being really fat, while trying to hate on skinny people in the stupidest ways (every example is so shitty lol, even in a joking way)

it's a little better knowing that a girl made it for her BF, that kinda flips the spectrum.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]MissCharmCity 1 point2 points ago

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me, too. sort of. too fat to stay hard is no.good

[–]Leeni 6 points7 points ago

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I do :)

[–]GhostRequiem 27 points28 points ago

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You're probably fat too.

[–]Germanfries 4 points5 points ago

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Holy shit, I'm dying over here!

[–]Leeni -2 points-1 points ago

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Nope, actually very average. Not a stick, but definitely not chubby.

[–]girlyusername 0 points1 point ago

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I do, and no I'm not fat.

[–]Lizbeanism 5 points6 points ago

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Why can't there be a happy medium? Chubby people need love too!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Love the shirt.

[–]funkanimus 2 points3 points ago

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also, heart attack

[–]mykoconnor 2 points3 points ago

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skinny dude has a straight edge tattoo...and smokes after sex.

[–]AssCommander 0 points1 point ago

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That's how all the douchebags are. XXX FOR LIFE! 2 packs a day because im a badass.

[–]FluffyPancake 1 point2 points ago

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Ya know, cause there are only boney skinny guys and fat guys.

[–]Ultramerican 1 point2 points ago

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I love that I made this same joke when the comic was posted on the frontpage of funny a while back, but got downvoted. REDDIT YOU FICKLE BITCH!

[–]imaunitard 0 points1 point ago

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ugh...I'm going on a diet.

[–]heetic 1 point2 points ago

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time to go on a cake diet!

[–]megagoten 0 points1 point ago

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r/fitness

r/loseit

[–]LoriStrode 0 points1 point ago

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oh god.. gag

[–]Connie_chi_wa 0 points1 point ago

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um...NO

[–]mazizzo 0 points1 point ago

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I came here expecting comments that differ far more than what I have read. Brb while I go cry in the corner.

[–]awellam 0 points1 point ago

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You forgot the Forever Alone face at the bottom.

[–]mynameispaulsimon 0 points1 point ago

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The whole concept of eating in bed after sex makes me feel queasy for some reason.

I can understand swigging some Jameson after a good hatefuck but solid food churns me.

[–]thehellcat 0 points1 point ago

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This is both lame AND disgusting!

[–]TheRedMambo 0 points1 point ago

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Nope, it's just me. Gabe Newell.

[–]20276498 0 points1 point ago

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No way that ass gets wiped right.

[–]junglepoon 0 points1 point ago

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His pants remind me of a discontent Overlord.

[–]narakusdemon88 -1 points0 points ago

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this is a repost, but it's still funny.

[–]lollertron -2 points-1 points ago

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That's why I'm in between. Best of both worlds, dude.

[–]omplatt -1 points0 points ago

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yay for average people!

[–]Kviksand 1 point2 points ago

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So you're not average if you're skinny?

[–]omplatt 0 points1 point ago

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yeah, you're in between

[–]Hetfeeld -1 points0 points ago

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+1 for sweating :D

[–]chipper-chipper-chip -1 points0 points ago

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How fat are we talking? I'd take 250 over 150 any day of the week, but I'm not sure about 500...actually, yeah, I am sure.

[–]inter10per 4 points5 points ago

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For a point of reference, Brad Pitt was 155lbs in Fight Club.

[–]nursewhimsy 0 points1 point ago

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Really?? How tall is he? That seems awfully small..

[–]inter10per 2 points3 points ago

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I think about 5'10"

The reality is that he didn't have a huge amount of muscle (like he did in Troy), but had extremely low body fat. He had enough muscle that it made him look great even though he didn't weigh very much.

[–]chipper-chipper-chip 0 points1 point ago

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Yup, gross.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]JesusTapdancingChris 3 points4 points ago

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Well, obviously. We who are skinny deny ourselves snacking all through the day, so when we're finally allowed to eat something tasty, we're all the more enthusiastic.
Makes sense to me!

[–]dakkeh 4 points5 points ago

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Seriously. Whenever I go down on a girl I feed on her vagina for sustenance.

[–]Vidyogamasta 1 point2 points ago

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But.... I'm skinny and eat all the time. It's a high metabolism, I can't really change that and put on weight unless I push myself to eat WAY more than my body tells me to take in =/

[–]JesusTapdancingChris 0 points1 point ago

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I thought I was like you. Then I moved into a room that was quite close to a McDonald's. I didn't get "morbidly obese", but I prefer my current 62kg to my then 74.

[–]Vidyogamasta 0 points1 point ago

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Lol, that's a 25 pound difference. Like, I'm 120-125 lbs (55ish kg) and haven't been able to put on weight =/ I actually went into depression a little over a year ago and lost 15lbs down to 110... I was able to recover to 120ish.

I don't do fast food often, and even when I do, I normally eat light. I don't like condiments on my food (sauces/mayo/ketchup/ranch/etc.), and generally stay away from greasier options. It's not a health-incentive, though, I just prefer my food a little less rich than others. But it keeps me from gaining weight =P

I still drink like 3-4 mountain dews a day, though lol.

[–]JesusTapdancingChris 0 points1 point ago

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Well, that's not really strange then. I take butter on everything, mayo on most things and I am a sworn enemy of "Vegetable" and his terrible plans.

[–]Vidyogamasta 0 points1 point ago

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I love fruits and vegetables, but fruits tend to be more expensive so I get those less often. I also like butter (when I make toast, it's a solid 1/2cm thick layer of butter on top, pretty sure). When I was a kid, I'd eat straight butter from the bowl =P

But like I said, I'm more lightweight than you. And I have a tendency to lose it rather than gain it, and our differing eating patterns helps explain why =D

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]roronoasoro -2 points-1 points ago

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Fat guy here. Got intrigued by it and found this.