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top 200 commentsshow all 234

[–]flimdex 285 points286 points ago

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that guy has ridiculous core strength

[–]hitlersshit 45 points46 points ago

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I have ridiculous anal strength. Believe it or not that's the reason I'm so good at balancing.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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You might be good at clenching your butt cheeks really tight?

[–]hitlersshit 9 points10 points ago

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That too.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]hitlersshit 5 points6 points ago

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On the right side (below the number of subscribers) you can change your user flair.

[–]Praesens 1 point2 points ago

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Wooo.

[–]wipeout4wh 13 points14 points ago

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I have ridiculous anal strength.

Is that because you spend all your free time pooping on the homeless?

[–]muddzm 4 points5 points ago

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LOL YOU SO EDGY

[–]diodeforjustice 0 points1 point ago

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Do your massive muscles offset the rest of your body?

[–]FakeLaughter 0 points1 point ago

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Well, given that his head is hanging over I'd have to give you that. If his head was just 'slightly' over center and the rest of his body was straight like that, i imagine he could just teeter there forever.

[–]guy123 384 points385 points ago

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As someone afraid of heights, I can assure you that this is how I feel when I lean over a balcony too.

[–]wafflesburger 139 points140 points ago

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As someone who is afraid of being inside buildings I can assure you there is a huge crushing weight above your head that could come crashing down at any time.

[–]ozbucs18 67 points68 points ago

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You just made me inspect the ceiling quick.

[–]muddzm 32 points33 points ago

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And you just made me inspect the ceiling quick.

[–][deleted] 66 points67 points ago

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It took three comments, but I inspected my ceiling.

[–]grubas 27 points28 points ago

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AND?! AND?!

[–]Mythrayn 13 points14 points ago

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It's always worrying when there's a party in the apartment above yours.

[–]wBeeze 23 points24 points ago

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this is why I live on the top floor.

LOOK OUT BELOW!

[–]Grimjestor 0 points1 point ago

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Wot ho! Is this the apartment that ordered an Elephant Gram?

[–]grubas 2 points3 points ago

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The people above me are a bit noisy, so sometimes when they come tromping in I twitch from the *THUNK THUNK'ing of the feet.

[–]Langly- 4 points5 points ago

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Some people above walk normally while others seem to be doing their best impression of a dinosaur.

[–]grubas 4 points5 points ago

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To be fair, who DOESN'T get home and decide, "I'M GOING TO STOMP AROUND LIKE A T-REX!"...What's that, SANE people don't? Whoops...

[–]forum1388 10 points11 points ago

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Must. Not. Look. At. Celing... Damnit!

[–]cav32100123 1 point2 points ago

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I saw my wife look up.

[–]SweetNeo85 10 points11 points ago

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I inspected the ceiling quick, but it was by choice, dammit.

[–]Grimjestor 1 point2 points ago

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I happened to look up after reading your comment, but rest assured I was totally planning on looking up anyway, and it had nothing to do with checking the integrity of the ceiling.

[–]candry 4 points5 points ago

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I made it all the way to the above comment and finally had to inspect the ceiling quick.

[–]isankit 16 points17 points ago

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I have to have sharp objects pointed away from myself and others. Because what if there's an earthquake? What if my body suddenly becomes extremely magnetically attractive and every metal thing in the room comes flying at me?!?!

No, really. I'm not OCD about it but it crosses my mind. For me it's like when you're sitting in class and you imagine what you would do to save the day if a gunman/terrorist/crazy ex girlfriend walked in. I'm mentioning it because I think it shares relatively the same amount of sanity as the thing you just mentioned.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I'M NOT ALONE?!

[–]Sir_Meowsalot 0 points1 point ago

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I love the fact that you added crazy ex-girlfriend along side gunmen and terrorists.

[–]Osiris32 3 points4 points ago

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They are as much of a threat to America as bears.

[–]nikniuq 0 points1 point ago

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Shawn? Shawn Spencer?

[–]johnnyfatsac 7 points8 points ago

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I live on the 8th floor of a building that was built in 1910. I think I'll go outside right now. ε=ε=ε=┌(;*´Д`)ノ

[–]nyxerebos 6 points7 points ago

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Is your ASCII running or farting?

[–]johnnyfatsac 2 points3 points ago

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Both.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I live on the bottom floor of a building that was built in the 1800s (。_゜)"

[–]Wafflepwn_syrup 3 points4 points ago

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Crushing weight ._." I hate falling off stuff.

[–]henryroo 2 points3 points ago

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I cave sometimes--you can see big piles of breakdown all over the place, and look up at the ceiling to see nice little shelves of rock ready to fall. Always move out from under those quick.

[–]VimmyNothing 1 point2 points ago

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When I had a bunk bed, this was always the no-win option I had to pick. Do I want to fall from the top bunk, or would I rather the top bunk fall on me?

[–]rolleiflex 1 point2 points ago

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Study statics a bit. It really relieves fear of things coming down onto your precious skull.

[–]antisocialmedic 1 point2 points ago

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You're probably joking, but this is definitely a thought that occurs to me from time to time. It's horrifying.

[–]RedAero 1 point2 points ago

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Civil Engineer here. The building you are in now is likely to have been overengineered by a factor of 10, intentionally, plus all the equations err on the side of safety.

[–]nianu 61 points62 points ago

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me too AND i'm a mother O_O

[–]emocol 16 points17 points ago

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That's okay, you're just that much more protective of your child so it has a better chance of survival ʘ‿ʘ

[–]mdf676 23 points24 points ago

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More like a better chance of going overboard in college and dying of alcohol poisoning or something...

[–]Lolazaurus 7 points8 points ago

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Technically, this is correct.

[–]Reddicator 7 points8 points ago

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OHMYGOD YOU GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH?! lucky bastard...

[–]clrtxf 0 points1 point ago

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upvote for Forthewolfx!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]RustedWheel 7 points8 points ago

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I don't know why but that face terrifies me.

[–]emocol 8 points9 points ago

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ʘ‿ʘ

[–]Paclac 2 points3 points ago

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Soon...

[–]Throwasdas 15 points16 points ago

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I'm not so much afraid of heights as I'm paranoid, I'm worried someone will materialize out of nothing and push me off or that the railing will cede if I put even an ounce of my weight on it.

[–]leoavalon 2 points3 points ago

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That's exactly what I'm afraid of everytime I walk near the edge of everything like: cliffs, tall buildings, roads, railway, railing...

[–]isankit 12 points13 points ago

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The thing is, when a kid does it, it looks nothing like that first picture. When a kid leans over a railing, they lean as far over as they think they possibly can, even extending some of their weight forward to balance their stomach on the railing.

That is dangerous.

I've never seen someone being scolded for looking out at the view from a safe distance. Children don't have the motor control that adults do, on account of their constant body changes, but they still want to do stupid daredevil stuff like hang by their belt buckles over a 30 foot drop.

[–]NunquamDormio 5 points6 points ago

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But how do we solve the overpopulation problem?

[–]RarelyCoherent 6 points7 points ago

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As someone with poor balance, I can assure you that this is how I feel when walking on a sidewalk.

[–]candry 4 points5 points ago

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Don't forget that you are just a wet, immobile lump of brain matter, and your body is a heavy, stupid animal standing on the porch dangling you over the railing.

[–]lilnizzle 1 point2 points ago

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As someone really afraid of heights, I gotta ask: Why are you leaning over balconies? That's something I never do.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I love heights. They make me feel more comfortable...

[–]Sasquatch99 25 points26 points ago

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Comfortable with a slight urge to throw everything around you off the edge

[–]arienh4 7 points8 points ago

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Okay, I am never standing next to you on any kind of elevation.

[–]bassblair11 3 points4 points ago

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I work on wind turbines, and I wish that I could do this everyday.

[–]grabmyeye 8 points9 points ago

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It's not that I'm afraid of heights, I'm just afraid of falling from them.

[–]DiamondShreddy 1 point2 points ago

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I work on elevators. Also love heights.

[–]BATMAN-cucumbers 0 points1 point ago

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Came here to not say this, but then I saw this, so I'm commenting on this in agreement.

Also, I actually love the view from heights, but am (still a tad) afraid of heights. Annoying...

[–]Magnesus 0 points1 point ago

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I'm afraid of heights. I also as a child used to sit on a window sill on the second floor window with my legs hanging outside. I told my mom only recently, she still freaked out a little.

[–]paullyjunge 0 points1 point ago

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This was literally word for word of what I thought and was going to post. Creepy.

[–]guy123 1 point2 points ago

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Look behind you.

[–]verstas 83 points84 points ago

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I recently found myself telling my 7-year-old nephew not to lean over the balcony because 'he could flip over at ANY MOMENT'. I've become old.

[–]pro7 99 points100 points ago

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I just imagined him losing control of his body and doing manic wild frontflips over the balcony.

[–]Coolness127 27 points28 points ago

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I'm imagining a kid playing QWOP in real life.

[–]PsychoMan 6 points7 points ago

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Well, than he would be more likely to step away from balcony.

[–]Mac_Attack18 17 points18 points ago*

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Damn it. I started laughing and I was drink at the time there is juice all over my desk now.

Edit: oh shit forgot the ing after drink. oh well.

[–]daskrip 15 points16 points ago

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You don't have time to type "ing" after "drink"! You need to clean up the juice now!

[–]SouthwestSuce 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah I've been drink before too, I never feel quite right when I go back to solid.

[–]tadziobadzio 1 point2 points ago

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this was an old, awesome TV show. thanks for reminding me of it

[–]Waqqy 2 points3 points ago

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I can imagine him still flipping mid-air screaming 'AAAARGH'

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You have no idea how funny this is

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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There's this bridge across a cliff that students have to cross every day to get on campus at my college (it's a weird campus). But I swear, every time I cross it, I have to suppress the urge to just leap over the railing to my death.

[–]ObscureSaint 2 points3 points ago

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The French have a word for that: "L'appel du vide," or "the call of the void."

[–]h_lehmann 2 points3 points ago

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No, you've just become a parent. I took my 17 year old son to the local crag last weekend for some top roping, and I was constantly telling him "watch out for that edge, it's a death fall". His response... "Geeze dad, you don't have to keep telling me that, I'm not going to jump!"

[–]ntothes 0 points1 point ago

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"crag" "top roping". What? Mountain. Repelling. Maybe?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Honestly, it is kind of a silly thing to worry about when you have things like this entering our children's minds

[–]SomewhatRelevantVid 0 points1 point ago

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[–]leafstomper 20 points21 points ago

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relevant story:

I was babysitting for 5 kids in a huge 3-story house. While on the 2nd story, I call up to the 3rd floor/loft to the seven-year old, to invite him to play hide and seek outside. When I look up, I see him leaning over the railing, smiling, about to tell me something. Then he falls. Flipped over, hit his head on the wall, flipped back over, hit another wall, and landed on the ground floor. Unconscious. Blood all over the carpet and walls. He wakes up as I'm calling 911. Had to get life-starred to the children's hospital. He ended up with a concussion and a fractured face.

Scariest fucking thing ever. And, needless to say, I never babysat for them again.

tl;dr watched a kid lean over a railing too far and fell 3 stories.

[–]SonOfOnett 6 points7 points ago

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Fractured...face...?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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The skull has a front to it...

[–]malmac 1 point2 points ago

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I know, right? Kids are so messy...little boogers.

[–]hypermog 1 point2 points ago

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Did the parents tip you?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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just the tip

[–]Biganon 86 points87 points ago

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Captions :

1 : Nice view

2 : lol what the fuck am I doing

[–]Ultrablack 114 points115 points ago

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[–]schwab002 52 points53 points ago

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Why is this so fucking funny. Every time.

[–]v-a-n-e-s-s-a 46 points47 points ago

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The framed photograph of himself takes it that extra step.

[–]schwab002 28 points29 points ago

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And how low he's sitting at the desk.

[–]v-a-n-e-s-s-a 28 points29 points ago

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Fuck, now I'm laughing all over again. It's like he's sitting in a toddler chair, you can't even see the back of it.

[–]orange_jooze 18 points19 points ago

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A sweater is a piece of clothing that children wear when their mothers feel cold.

[–]peacemake 1 point2 points ago

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That is so profound I felt my mind explode a bit. I will now proceed to take a screenshot of reddit, print the result and frame it in our sittingroom.

Mulch obliged.

[–]orange_jooze 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know if you're serious or not, but thanks.

[–]peacemake 1 point2 points ago

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Deadly serious. Posted that into facebook and got a million likes.

[–]Vedlen 21 points22 points ago*

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My neighbor's 7yo daughter used to lean over the balcony on a regular basis too. Until the day she did fall over and cracked her head open on the sidewalk (from 2nd floor).

Edit: typo

[–]StutteringStanley 24 points25 points ago

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Well, sometimes you have to let them learn from their own mistakes.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

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Not much learning left at that point . . .

[–]theghostofme 12 points13 points ago

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[–]ImOnRedditBigWhoop 6 points7 points ago

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I laughed at this more than I should have...I feel bad now

[–]TheUrge 1 point2 points ago

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I didn't get it until I read it out loud. Haven't laughed like that in a long time!

[–]rmm45177 11 points12 points ago

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Is she doing ok now?

[–]Vedlen 11 points12 points ago

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She is, had to be rushed to ER though :)

[–]malmac 4 points5 points ago

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hah hah, kids will be kids. ahhhhh, the joys of childhood...:)

[–]patriotsfan 10 points11 points ago

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That's planking over the balcony, I believe.

[–]omplatt 16 points17 points ago

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that makes me nervous too, especially if the leaner is wearing glasses

[–]Kumivene 1 point2 points ago

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Why do the glasses make it worse?

[–]Sasquatch99 41 points42 points ago

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Glasses fall, person goes all Velma and without thinking quickly goes down to find glasses, person goes over.

[–]halfajacob 12 points13 points ago

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Upvote for 'goes all Velma'

[–]Sir_Meowsalot 2 points3 points ago*

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I won't lie I have done this exact thing before. Lean over and whoops there go my glasses. In reflex I try to grab them and almost plummet to my death off the 11th floor balcony of my apartment. Thankfully, the glasses bounced off a doggy walking by and I was able to retrieve it just slightly borked out of proportions. But...let me tell ya...going full on Velma almost got me killed.

Edit: I might also add something absolutely unrelated: I have a thing for Velma. Those glasses and that nerdy brain and body. Meow.

[–]QuantumBear 2 points3 points ago

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because they could fall!

[–]xdundurox 1 point2 points ago

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They could fall off to their inanimate deaths.

[–]omplatt 1 point2 points ago

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because they could fall off

[–]imtheprofessor 14 points15 points ago

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This is how my mom has always been with anything a few feet of the ground. Although, her cousin fell into the Grand Canyon, so I guess I understand her fear of heights.

[–]unwieldy 5 points6 points ago

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Oh man, I got a good laugh out of this. It reads like a Jack Handy.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.

[–]imtheprofessor 1 point2 points ago

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I didn't intend for it to read that way, but yeah, it does.

Clowns don't scare me that much, but their sadistic mime cousins do; I had a real bad experience with a mime in Stockholm once.

[–]baethan 5 points6 points ago

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For serious? How/why did her cousin fall into the grand canyon?

[–]imtheprofessor 0 points1 point ago

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Essentially what happened is he was hiking early in the morning, got too close to the edge and slipped on some ice. Ever since then, anything involving heights and my mom starts freaking out.

[–]ass_herpes 4 points5 points ago

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i would worry too. that balcony would not pass inspection.

[–]Geschirrspulmaschine 2 points3 points ago

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My mom freaks out any time a plastic bag gets anywhere near her kid's faces. I try to cure her through exposure therapy, but she just starts crying when casually I walk into the room with a grocery bag on my head.

[–]UltraCruelHeadFuel 1 point2 points ago

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you're doing it wrong.

you need to casually put the plastic bag on her head, try it next time she is sleeping :)

[–]johns-appendix 0 points1 point ago

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Keep trying, man,

[–]Sir_Meowsalot 0 points1 point ago

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You know drawing a smiley face on the bag would probably help.

[–]thatsnogood 14 points15 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]il0veserpents 12 points13 points ago

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R E P O S T C E P -

Eugh what am I doing nothing is original

[–]okeefm 0 points1 point ago

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[–]arienh4 1 point2 points ago

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On Reddit, nothing's real. Everything's far away. Everything's a copy of a copy of a copy.

[–]Maox 0 points1 point ago

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/ Gertrude Stein

[–]StonyBuchek 2 points3 points ago

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Apparently we're not even waiting 24 hours these days...

[–]Airazz 8 points9 points ago

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You know what's even more common than reposts? People who bitch about reposts. Now shut the fuck up and leave, if you don't like it here.

[–]thegimboid 3 points4 points ago

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Your comment is a repost of what everyone says in a repost.

[–]notmynothername 0 points1 point ago

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I've probably seen the word repost hundreds of times on reddit, but for some reason it took me about five seconds of confusion this time to not read it as "reposte".

[–]imgur-mirror-bot 9 points10 points ago

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[–]IbidtheWriter 1 point2 points ago

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I am not afraid of heights, but I am definitely afraid of heights by proxy. If my brother is near a banister, I just can't take it. Fear grips my heart.

[–]gibsoncoca 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Mlemac28 1 point2 points ago

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I think the reason moms worry has more to do with the fact that kids are fucking stupid.

[–]Vyae 1 point2 points ago

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It's okay, they worry because they love us. (:

[–]pegbiter 1 point2 points ago

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Does anyone else, when peering over a tremendous height, have a tremendous desire to jump? Not a suicidal desire, exactly, it doesn't happen for 'normal' (yet fatal) heights, but only for really vast ones.

[–]rainbowmarchenko 1 point2 points ago

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As someone who has actually leaned over too far and fell over, I agree. I was 7 and fell two stories on top of my mom's convertible. Scariest moment of my mother's life.

[–]kyleisagod 1 point2 points ago

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This is how my fear of heights is defined. I'm not afraid of being high up, I'm afraid of being high up and leaning over a balcony.

[–]sniffles_snort 1 point2 points ago

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This would be an example of how moms worry. One article about one balcony rail giving way would be why.

[–]clrtxf 1 point2 points ago

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I definitely have that parent gene. Any time I see a little kid doing anything I IMMEDIATELY see the worst possible outcome and I freak out.

[–]witch_vampire 8 points9 points ago

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we all love our moms.... :) <3

[–]Deathaurora 2 points3 points ago

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TIL moms have planking vision

[–]smexyfish 1 point2 points ago

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Buster?

[–]markandspark 0 points1 point ago

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Canny expensive trainers.

[–]888alltheway 0 points1 point ago

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But OP, that's how I actually lean over the balcony!

[–]curvy_lady_92 0 points1 point ago

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Just.. Yes.

[–]ctskifreak[!] 0 points1 point ago

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90 degrees from batmanning

[–]daskrip 0 points1 point ago

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When I see a cat on the barrier... my cringe shakes the ground.

[–]bitethemuffin 0 points1 point ago

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OP, just out of curiosity, how old are you?

[–]Isvara 0 points1 point ago

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Why's it always gotta be moms? Dads worry too. Especially ones with OCD who imagine every horrific death imaginable.

[–]ge6ko911 0 points1 point ago

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Only if your parents are two lesbians. (how your mothers see it)

[–]Acidyo 0 points1 point ago

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My mother goes apeshit whenever she sees me lean over the balcony. I usually do that when smoking... I am 22.

Moms... AMIRITE?

[–]RedSquaree 0 points1 point ago

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An Enderman leaning over a balcony. That's How I see it.

[–]VastDeferens 0 points1 point ago

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That guy is a world class planker

[–]Alex-the-3217th 0 points1 point ago

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I sent this to my mother and she couldn't spot the difference.

[–]wirralriddler 0 points1 point ago

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I can lean over balconies without having any heart attacks, yet everytime someone near me gets near a balcony I get over excited. What is this, irrational fear of seeing someone fall?

[–]goats 0 points1 point ago

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My ex-girlfriend once started crying when I stood too close to the edge of a cliff once.

[–]phoenix762 0 points1 point ago

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So, so true....as a mom who is afraid of heights, I can attest to that:)

[–]kyledouglas521 0 points1 point ago

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This is how I used to feel, until my neighbor who lives above me was leaning on the railing and legitimately did a flip over his balcony and landed on his spine. Now I'm a little iffy about leaning on railings.

[–]FlusteredNZ 0 points1 point ago

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That's what makes them mums!

[–]h_lehmann 0 points1 point ago

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I've been a rock climber for many years. Standing on a 2 inch ledge, umpteen feet above the nearest horizontal surface, no problem. Good finger locks while 30 feet beyond my least piece of protection, also no problem. But, you put me next to a balcony railing and I start to sweat. Whenever I stand on a balcony of a high rise building, I just know that it's going to collapse the moment I put any weight on it. Maybe it's because everything's built by the lowest bidder.... I don't know.

[–]Ender11 0 points1 point ago

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Fathers get the same exact feeling.

[–]Rotten_in_Denmark 0 points1 point ago

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you need to do one of these, but for blowjobs.

[–]JJB-125 0 points1 point ago

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Whenever I lean over a balcony, I usually imagine what would happen if the surface I am leaning on disappeared. Pretty scary.

[–]dinokitten101 0 points1 point ago

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I can relate.

[–]deadbydesign 0 points1 point ago

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i hope you hit her with a pan.

[–]crystalbluecurrents 0 points1 point ago

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I feel that way and I'm not even a mother yet. I'm going to be such a paranoid mom.

[–]undoneian 0 points1 point ago

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Feel off a balcony 3 months ago. Sitting on the ledge just like they tell you not to. Life flighted, got really lucky with just some surgery and a broken neck. I imagine the same thing applies when your teachers tell you not to lean back in your chairs at school.

[–]nyanyanyanyanyan 0 points1 point ago

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Look Ma, no hands!

[–]BadKitty420 0 points1 point ago

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My mom freaks out whenever I'm on a balcony or near a ledge. Probably because I almost jumped off a cliff when I was 5...

[–]MrOrsom 0 points1 point ago

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That's not why moms worry, that's what moms worry about.

[–]hamhead 0 points1 point ago

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Although that's pretty much what it was at Rangers Ballpark over the summer...

[–]your_masturbator 0 points1 point ago

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My aunts 8 year old child died from a fall because he was leaning through the apartment window.

[–]RC-7201 0 points1 point ago

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Sooo...they are worried we are planking?

[–]Alexandurs 0 points1 point ago

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Mommycam.

[–]Anon6942 0 points1 point ago

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anyone else see #2 as 60's spider-man?

[–]johnathanstrangescat 0 points1 point ago

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I wish I could downvote this a million million times.

[–]PolarX 0 points1 point ago

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When a child leans over a balcony, their mother sees them as a vampire?

[–]There-Wolf 0 points1 point ago

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That's also how wives afraid of heights see the situation. Ask my husband who I cling to desperately the moment he gets close to the edge.

[–]triel187 0 points1 point ago

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It worries Eric Clapton too, now.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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please don't cough a lot when you are eating or I will call 911 and tell them that you are choking to death

[–]Grundle_Troll 0 points1 point ago

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[–]dunnowhathuh 0 points1 point ago

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As an acrophobe, that's how I see it too.

[–]VoodooWoman 0 points1 point ago

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HEIGHTS!!! noooooo.... shiiiiiit

[–]BakedPotatoTattoo 0 points1 point ago

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I lived in an apartment complex years ago where some guys were having a spitting contest off a 3rd floor balcony. One guy backed into the living room to get a running start, hit the balcony and went over, killing him when he hit.

Still baffles the fuck out of me to this day.

[–]Tanspriter 0 points1 point ago

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Forget that, this is how I see it. I'm terrified of ledges.

[–]SAHDman 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else think the second part would read better as "How mother sees it"?

[–]Ninjawithcandy 0 points1 point ago

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My husband freaks out when our now teen age children do this. He was paranoid to the point I had to reassure him that they were ok and the railing was safe. He is terrified of heights, and I have flown planes, cliff and mountain climbed. If I could live in a house on a sheer faced cliff, I would. He, on the other hand, would prefer the hobbit shire.

[–]ebolabandit 0 points1 point ago

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You sir, are a boss.

[–]myPuppysCute 0 points1 point ago

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upvote bc this is exactly how I feel when my children are any where near a ledge