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We are Gods porn. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by foamed

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[–]arcrinsis 47 points48 points ago

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didn't the ancient Egyptian creator god masturbate the universe into existence?

[–]NichaelBluth 29 points30 points ago

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Atum:

He put his phallus in his fist, to excite desire thereby. The twins were born, Shu and Tefnut.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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...and Tefnut's name is the reason we call 'em "nuts".

[–]Zabwhee 2 points3 points ago

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Man, those are some Tefnuts. They can really take a beating. ... ... ... I'm sorry. I'm... I'm just... So sorry.

[–]zunetoon 14 points15 points ago

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Horus, he whore-us!

[–]miborovsky 92 points93 points ago*

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What's the chick's name, I need it for SCIENCE.

EDIT: Thank you, fellow good atheists. ME GUSTA.

[–]iTouchStuff 59 points60 points ago

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Liz Holtan

[–]-abcd 46 points47 points ago

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you win 1 science

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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are there enough science to go around?

[–]futurelibrarian 6 points7 points ago

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I believe the term is scienci.

[–]Zorba_02 3 points4 points ago

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I believe the term is scii.

[–]erisdiscordia 22 points23 points ago

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ALL RIGHTY THEN, I'LL HAVE ASCII PLEASE

[–]Baked_By_Oven 8 points9 points ago

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here you go: http://www.reddit.com/r/dwarffortress

[–]iDunTrollBro 2 points3 points ago

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Starcraft 2?

[–]Darlando 0 points1 point ago

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It depends on who you talk to, if your religious, there is a major surplus of science to go around, infact one would say there is to much. From my point of view... There is never enough. It's defiantly a relative thing... Ya know... Just sayin'...

[–]antc1986 3 points4 points ago

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Liz Holt \o/

[–]Belimeza 0 points1 point ago

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You beat me to it. Here, have an upvote.

[–]ConstipatedNinja 7 points8 points ago

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Would that make you god-like?

[–]aSimpleMan 6 points7 points ago

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ahah, same question had here. She looks rather innocent. ME LIKES.

[–]foamed[S] 5 points6 points ago

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It always amazes me that there is always someone who knows who it is (even if it's an unknown porn actress who only does amateur videos).

[–]Muscar 4 points5 points ago

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she's an actor.

[–]Pernic10us 3 points4 points ago

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I loved this episode.

The actress' name is Liz Holtan.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]sje46 0 points1 point ago

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So it took you more than 24 minutes to read the submission and comments? Because iTouchStuff beat you by that much.

[–]GunRaptor -2 points-1 points ago

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I came here to ask this, too. For science.

[–]JJRamone 14 points15 points ago

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Could someone post the source on this please? Thanks!

[–]LHN 47 points48 points ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQKASww9Ni4

[–]mdf676 13 points14 points ago

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It's fucking amazing that she's so coquettish while she criticizes masturbation. It's such a realistic portrayal of that type of female religious conservative. I know, like, 100 girls just like that.

[–]hoodedthis 15 points16 points ago

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You know 100 girls?

[–]webmonk 8 points9 points ago

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I bet I could know 100 girls.

[–]miborovsky 5 points6 points ago

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Take it from this old girl knower...

(You know how it goes)

[–]grubas 3 points4 points ago

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Awww

[–]Monstermash042 1 point2 points ago

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100 Girls

[–]flying_pigs 0 points1 point ago

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they're against masturbation but they'll what what in the butt.

[–]Smeagol3000 10 points11 points ago

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"Thank you both for coming". Awesome.

[–]Perturbed_Spartan 1 point2 points ago

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"have you ever tried?"

"tried not to masturbate?"

my ad libbing: "well I'm not masturbating right now am I?"

[–]foamed[S] 7 points8 points ago

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Awesome. Many thanks for posting the source, LHN.

[–]Onotix 4 points5 points ago

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seems acted...

[–]Akronite14 23 points24 points ago

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It was a scene on Louie... of course it was acted.

[–]Onotix 6 points7 points ago

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oh well, i feel stupid now....

[–]Akronite14 0 points1 point ago

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It's alright, I watch Louie and I had to double check the first time I watched the clip haha.

[–]danfanclub 1 point2 points ago

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damnit. After 5 seconds I was hoping it was legit, and I had a devious plan to fap to her only to spite her.

[–]appleswitch 0 points1 point ago

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I was 2 minutes in before I read these comments and realized it was scripted.

Poe'd.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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It is acted. (It's an episode of "Louie" on FX)

[–]JJRamone 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you!

[–]Legion6226 0 points1 point ago

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Is this....for real?

[–]ManWhoSoldTheWorld 38 points39 points ago

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FYI, this isn't real. I'm guessing it's from Louis CK's HBO show. They just got the people at Red Eye to let them do a segment.

[–]fracai 24 points25 points ago

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FX, but yeah.

[–]GreenPlasticJim 22 points23 points ago

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Yeah, best part is louie's elevator fantasy in the next scene. 

Random super hot elevator girl:*Bends over*  "could you help me  with this?"
Louie: "What seems to be the problem?"
Random super hot elevator girl: "it's just that there's like, zero dicks in here" *points to ass*

[–]Blue_Falcon 2 points3 points ago

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Me gusta

[–]IAMAPredditor 17 points18 points ago

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She would be an absolute FREAK in the sack, you just know it.

[–]Vollholler 13 points14 points ago

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Maybe, maybe not, but I'm crushing on her pretty hard.

[–]Im_a_gringo 1 point2 points ago

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She's an actress. Liz Holtan.

[–]Vollholler 1 point2 points ago

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That is true.

[–]figureoflight 2 points3 points ago

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either that, or she would be so repressed she would cry and lie there cold and stiff like a dead fish.

[–]HawaiianBrian 5 points6 points ago

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She's still cute.

You can't explain that.

[–]abledanger 6 points7 points ago

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I can. God likes to masturbate to beautiful women.

[–]hoodedthis 5 points6 points ago

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He created us in his image, so basically he is masturbating to a picture of himself. Man, He is so fucking perverted.

[–]redpandabear 0 points1 point ago

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Narcissistic is the word you're lpoking for.

[–]Galphanore 4 points5 points ago

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If you want to make porn from scratch, first you must invent the universe.

[–]foreveralright 3 points4 points ago

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I'm glad she hopes I'll think about her while I masturbate.

[–]MrNiko 3 points4 points ago

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This is from some show, note the FX in the corner.

[–]fracai 8 points9 points ago

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It's an episode of "Louie" on FX.

[–]Smeagol3000 2 points3 points ago

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I could hear "Hero" by the Foo Fighters after reading this for some reason.

[–]Snowdream 1 point2 points ago

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So could I.

...I may or may not have been listening to it at the time, however

[–]joepanda111 2 points3 points ago

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I kept expecting him to start masturbating while she was talking

[–]corn266 2 points3 points ago

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And then it snows, but for some reason not in the south. I guess northern families are better at it...

[–]CarolinaSon 1 point2 points ago

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Awesome bit, love me some Louie. As per usual with most things Christianity, it takes a second to tell if it's a joke or not.

If this were an actual movement/organization as opposed to comedy, no part of me would be shocked that it existed. But we're supposed to sit back and respect their silly ideas, right?

[–]Kraken_Sig 1 point2 points ago

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Coming here after reading r/Christianity is like taking a breath of fresh air.

[–]shazang 1 point2 points ago

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You know you're a legit redditor when you spot your first repost.

[–]Ishmael999 0 points1 point ago

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There will be more.

[–]shazang 0 points1 point ago

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There are always more.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81752461/

The video.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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the universe is either apart of a quantum computer reality or a simulation. when this truth is accepted then everyone can relax.

[–]mrlint 2 points3 points ago

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And nothing will change.

[–]madachup 1 point2 points ago

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I would fuck the shit out of that uptight bitch.

[–]syroncoda 1 point2 points ago

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she looks so very scared.

[–]jim-_- 2 points3 points ago

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I started watching Red Eye on Youtube back with the Andy Levy vs Chris Brown thing started, was that before or after this ? (No, I watch it for the laughs not the politics.)

FYI people: http://www.mediaite.com/tv/louis-c-k-describes-filming-inside-the-belly-of-the-beast-at-fox-news-for-louie-episode/

[–]hanahou 1 point2 points ago

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I had an argument with LDS Missionaries over an Omniscient God. I told them basically, so God knows that at precise time, and moment that I decided to go back door on my wife (and yes I had to explain that to them). He knew and planned ahead of time in my life I would do this? To their shock and to save face they said "yes".

Then I said, but I thought God was against Sodomy? I told them to go rethink about an all-knowing God.

[–]kuntphace 0 points1 point ago

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I just wanted you to know this made my day, and it's gonna be a long one.

[–]Lieveo 0 points1 point ago

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Ahaha that's awesome, this dudes my hero

[–]bigdubs 0 points1 point ago

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repost is a repost.

[–]jimmybrando7 0 points1 point ago

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Poe

[–]Rushbomb 0 points1 point ago

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Is there a clip of this somewhere? I am dying to see this entire moment unfold.

[–]chuddlewinks 0 points1 point ago

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Did he actually say this? Does anyone have a youtube link?

[–]pat567 0 points1 point ago

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its apart of his series its quite awesome!

[–]judith_lies 0 points1 point ago

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I can't find the episode available online (in my 1 minute of searching) but it is from Louie on FX. Episode is entitled "Come on God". It is not on hulu. :/

[–]NotSoPrivateI 0 points1 point ago

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I loved this episode, was one of the best in the season

[–]RaggedyMan 0 points1 point ago

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I just realized that if there is only one god, then he couldn't have ever gotten laid. That must be why he hates sex so much.

[–]zyxlor 0 points1 point ago

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He did Mary. Maybe he does other mortals but uses a condom.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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TIL god has a tiny penis

[–]woopwoopskadoop 1 point2 points ago

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He had jesus and ever since has been like 'fuck that noise, look what the last kid did. A religion, crusades, numerous other wars.'

[–]indeed-good-sir 0 points1 point ago

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I love how awkward she feels to that comment!

[–]Gman1012 0 points1 point ago

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Indeed Good Sir.

[–]threat42 0 points1 point ago

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Louis CK, you're a fucking genius.

[–]judith_lies 0 points1 point ago

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This is from the series Louie. Episode is entitled "Come on God"

[–]TheOnlyPolygraph 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in Tyler Durden's voice, as if he said this in place of something else while burning Jack's hand.

[–]DisRuptive1 0 points1 point ago

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Who's the lady? I'm sure she's probably a crazy Christian, but I think she is really cute, like Rachel McAdams.

[–]harrysplinkett 0 points1 point ago

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i demand more louis ck on reddit. he is fucking hysterical

[–]Blahkah 0 points1 point ago

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NOT THIS AGAIN

[–]raskolnikov- 0 points1 point ago

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This skit wasn't that funny when I watched it as a video. It's not that funny as a picture, either.

[–]fsckit -1 points0 points ago

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Is this real? and why are all the captions reversed?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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it's mirrored to avoid detection of copyrighted material

[–]herenseti 2 points3 points ago

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No, and copyright

[–]redwing634 -4 points-3 points ago

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Thank you for reposting this for the 100000th time. I've never seen this before on reddit (aside from the 99999 other times).

[–]starparty -1 points0 points ago

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No way she's for real.

[–]faghatesgod -1 points0 points ago

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This is fucking planned you idiots. She's an actress. This is like taking a skit from Dave Chapelle and saying Dave Chapelle hates black people.

[–]FortyPoundBaby -1 points0 points ago

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STOP POSTING THIS, PLEASE.

[–]trust_the_corps -1 points0 points ago

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I really hate these submissions that are a couple of frames from a video and some captions. I've seen it before but is submitting the video not enough?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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that one bit was the best part, the rest was pretty meh

[–]trust_the_corps 1 point2 points ago

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I preferred the bit where he told her he was going to masturbate to her that night.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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these subtitled images are getting REALLY FUCKING OLD

[–]JusticeChicken -2 points-1 points ago

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Louis C.K. post, how fucking original.

Bawk.