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all 76 comments

[–]IAMAhoneybadger 24 points25 points ago

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Aha! Johnny Dangerously reference. nicely done.

[–]ruddley5 11 points12 points ago

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"My father hung me on a hook once... ONCE!"

[–]oouncolaoo 0 points1 point ago

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Cold hands... Not even one time!

[–]Jave4990 0 points1 point ago

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My farmer tried to hang me on a hook once.....TRIED!

[–]HittingSmoke 9 points10 points ago

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It shoots through schools...

[–]DoZeYLoVe 5 points6 points ago

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He's a fargain sneaky bastadge!

[–]Chaser892 2 points3 points ago

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Those iceholes!

[–]neerg 1 point2 points ago

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Could you explain?

[–]fisticuffsmanship 0 points1 point ago

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Joe piscapo reference, nicely done

[–]mudslag 0 points1 point ago

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Love that movie

[–]KingDestroyer 58 points59 points ago

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Y U NO E-I-E-I-O?

[–]CiD7707 9 points10 points ago

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You shouldn't hang me on a hook Johnny!

[–]plain_name 5 points6 points ago

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You shouldnt hang me on a hook Johnny, my motha hung me on a hook once......once.

[–]Vsx 2 points3 points ago

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Cows make this face like 50 times a day.

[–]DoZeYLoVe 1 point2 points ago

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You shouldn't grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once... ONCE!

[–]Dantaro 1 point2 points ago

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This is too amazing for words

[–]grufzar 1 point2 points ago

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I have no idea why i laughed so hard at this.

[–]DrkSnpr14 1 point2 points ago

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WTF, I lost my shit on the second panel

[–]Ziggystarfield 1 point2 points ago

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Cows are cute animals.

[–]odoriferous 1 point2 points ago

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Well done OP, except that's a calf in the photo, and quite a young one. The only thing it knows about milk is drinking it.

[–]Snatland 0 points1 point ago

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Was thinking that too. Faaar too young to have ever been milked. Funny expression though.

[–]2E1HSB 1 point2 points ago

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Template plz.

[–]freakinbob[S] 0 points1 point ago

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I hear and obey. link

[–]Offensive_Username2 2 points3 points ago

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Don't cows like being milked? I heard they have pain if they don't get milked.

[–]fuckfridgemagnets 3 points4 points ago

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They only produce milk if they are artificially inseminated or breed the natural way, and that milk is meant for their calves. I'm gonna bet they like their own babies suckling on them a lot better than getting milk sucked out of their teats by a machine.

[–]military_history 2 points3 points ago

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I'm gonna bet they like it a lot more than their udders painfully swelling due to lack of milking.

[–]Wibbles -1 points0 points ago

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Dairy cows have a relatively cushy life too. They get all the food, shelter and medicine they need and aren't killed or eaten for a good few years and all they have to endure in return is a machine groping their tits a couple of times a day.

[–]CowFu 1 point2 points ago

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[–]fuckfridgemagnets -1 points0 points ago

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Have you ever heard a dairy cow crying for her calf? Not so cushy :(

[–]fuckfridgemagnets -1 points0 points ago

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Their udders only swell painfully because they are artificially inseminated by humans and then their babies are taken away.

[–]military_history 0 points1 point ago

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But keep in mind the only reason these cows are even alive is because they produce milk. If we let them live wild as you propose, they would die out incredibly quickly.

[–]fuckfridgemagnets 0 points1 point ago

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I don't propose we release cows into the wild, I propose we stop breeding them for our own ends. Personally, I would rather not be born at all than be born only to be artificially inseminated over and over, have my babies taken away each time, be milked by machines, then be slaughtered years before my natural lifespan.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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They produce colostrum for a few days to a week after giving birth. This is thick yellow milk that is full of fat and anti-bodies for the calf. Then after a while they just produce regular milk that is processed into the stuff you get in store shelves. If you continue to milk them they will produce milk for a long time, but like most mammals they will only make milk if they have a baby.

[–]Snatland 1 point2 points ago

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Well they would proabably prefer it if their calf wasn't taken away from them at a young age and their milk exploited for our purposes. But they certainly don't seem to actually mind being milked much. At the vetschool I'm at we have robotic milkers. The cows can go and get milked whenever they want. It's quite funny to see them standing in line waiting.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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In a lot of states it is considered animal abuse to not milk them. They have been bred to produce so much milk in a day that failure to do so will cause their udders to swell, and eventually burst in extreme situations.

[–]Snatland 0 points1 point ago

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That's really interesting, thanks! I wonder if the UK has any similar laws.. (time for some Googling!)

[–]CowFu 0 points1 point ago

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We enjoy it on OUR terms, milk me without permission and you'll get a flying hoof the the back of the head.

[–]bogart1 2 points3 points ago

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The line is "A farmer tried to milk me once."

Then under that you write,

"Once."

[–]wesrawr 1 point2 points ago

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The cow wouldn't let him milk her. So the farmer put it down with a rifle.

[–]MADBAKER 0 points1 point ago

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Insanity Cow?

[–]HokeyReddit 0 points1 point ago

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lold

[–]Rejexted 0 points1 point ago

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And Bingo was his name-o!

[–]midway12 0 points1 point ago

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Old MacDonald had farm... HAD

[–]shini32 0 points1 point ago

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Don't start another evil puppy meme, cows do not deserve this kind of torment!

[–]HustlerThug 0 points1 point ago

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Now machines do it for him E-I-E-I-O

[–]Watsons 0 points1 point ago

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She's missing something...her eyes aren't quite goggly enough.

[–]PemCorgiSelphie 0 points1 point ago

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This is probably the cutest cow/calf I've ever seen, even if it's insanity cow.

[–]OverKillv7 0 points1 point ago

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Ol' McDonald sitting on a bench

Hitting his knee with a monkey wrench

Missed his knee, hit his balls

Pissed all over his overalls.

[singing] When I'm dead,

bury me,

hang my balls on a cherry tree,

when they're ripe, take a bite,

and don't blame me if you barf all night.

[–]notouchmycookies 0 points1 point ago

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baby cows are adorable and delicious

[–]SirBenjamin 0 points1 point ago

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Do you think if drank its milk you would get mad cow disease?

[–]freakinbob[S] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]CTNpikkakilla 1 point2 points ago

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You can't milk those!

[–]DazednEnthused 0 points1 point ago

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Not trying to be critical, but I like Insanity Puppy better. His eyes are scarier. Similar one

[–]Drawtaru 0 points1 point ago

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Pretty sure that's a calf, so I don't think anyone tried to milk it at all. Not even once. ;P

[–]biga29 0 points1 point ago*

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You didn't even get the line right...

[–]mojomann128 0 points1 point ago

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[–]IxXShad0wXxI 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]jessyesucksball -1 points0 points ago

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Template?

[–]ultraclutch -2 points-1 points ago

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At first I thought the cow was baring its teeth in the second picture!

[–]IrishDon -2 points-1 points ago

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I grew up on a dairy farm. Cow broke my arm when I was 16 while I was milking her. That bitch.

[–]babiesloveboobies -1 points0 points ago

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That look is hilarious, anyone have the original? I got nothing on tineye...OC?

[–]kentgreendisco -3 points-2 points ago

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then he realized the cow was sterile?

[–]ilikayou -3 points-2 points ago

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If only I was a farmer...