His & Her Diary From the Same Day

benndur · 9 months

Anyone else read the "Guy's" part first because they noticed it was much shorter than the "Girl's"?

snatchenvy · 9 months

I like the length of that couch.

santobar8 · 9 months

"Whats wrong?" "Nothing"

Those two are the beginning lines of almost every fight in a couple.

greatidea311 · 9 months

Thank God...I thought I was the only one who confused erections with motorcycles

NatalieZyfers · 9 months

Easy fucking solution. Instead of saying "nothing", tell her the motorcycle is broken.

bchillerr · 9 months

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:

NotCoffeeTable · 9 months

One reason I love my girlfriend.

Her: "you're quiet today"

Me: "I can't stop thinking about [current programming project problem]"

Her: "Oh, go work on it! I have [one of her projects] I've been meaning to do. Meet back in an hour?"

Hour later COMMENCE SEXY TIME.

She's also kind of a genius in my opinion and is a good soundboard. With a cursory explanation of the project she can ask questions that probe my assumptions.

Mygirlfriendisacat · 9 months

My girlfriend goes crazy if I don't make dinner. But everything is fine after she hears the can opener.

Alyeska2112 · 9 months

His Diary:

I'm Bruce Willis, and I've been dead all along.

FTFY

hjfreyer · 9 months

This is some sexist bullshit right here. I've got some composition notebooks full of counter-evidence.

bearodactylrak · 9 months

Men are like HERP DE DERP. Women are like DERP DE HERP. HYUK HYUK.

angelkely1213 · 9 months

Good, good, let the sexism flow through you...

Eternitras · 9 months

Switch that and that's how I am. I'm such a pussy. And I get girls that just don't give a FUCK.

CacophonyForever · 9 months

LOLOLOL MEN ARE SIMPLE AND ONLY CARE ABOUT LOGICAL THINGS AND HAVE NO EMOTIONS, HAHAHA

thornae · 9 months

I've always liked Dave Barry's version.

ianandris · 9 months

Ive met guys worse then the girl in this comic........

floodslayer · 9 months

I liked the part where it implied that all women are self-absorbed, dramatic, flighty and lacking in self-confidence. Almost as good as the bit where it implied all men are jocky, brooding, and insensitive.

analgesia · 9 months

Anyone else wondering why he even has a diary? ಠ_ಠ

SergeantTibbs · 9 months

Oh, hey. I recognize this.

Women complicate things, worry, and cry over nothing
Men are simple, don't empathize, and don't share.

Doesn't matter your gender, sexism is fucking boring by now.

radams713 · 9 months

Sexism, hilarious!

triptrap · 9 months

As far as attachment to a penis is concerned, I'm the male in my relationship. That's about as far as the parallel goes with this cliché shit. I have to wonder what weird universe people live in that they upvote something like this. Not mine, that's for sure.

It's always different. Every relationship. Every time. Every coupling, tripling, quadtripling and so forth.

I expect less inbox thinking from Reddit. Probably it's the Diggtards upvoting.

Now I'm for the downvote. Fuck you all.

oskee80 · 9 months

How about when she asks what's wrong, he tells her. Love how this is meant to get a "women are crazy" reaction, when 10 seconds of communicating like an adult from the guy would put the issue to rest.

OMG, WOMEN ARE CRAZY!

inthemud · 9 months

This reminds of Mark Twain's diaries of Adam and Eve. That shit is hilarious. Especially when they have the first kid.

Gygaxxor · 9 months

(In a really annoying voice) "WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, MEN ARE FROM MARS"

blart_history · 9 months

Damn, this was really lame.

greenways · 9 months

clean the carb.

TheLibertinistic · 9 months

It's funny because women are monsters made of feelings and boys only care about machines!

Fuck this post.

[deleted] · 9 months

Hey guys! This is so funny because women like to communicate and worry when guys seem aloof or distracted because they care about the guys emotions as well as theirs, but guys just care about fixing their motorcycle!

Man, those crazy women, always caring about stuff and things.

Hahahahahahahah. Ha.

Mysterions · 9 months

you know if there's "something wrong" I always ask my girlfriend about it. But she never tells me - she just gets even quieter. It's really frustrating. I've sorta figured my way through it though. I figure she's just "in a mood" and the best thing I can do is be gentle, ask her about (but don't press her) and give her plenty of space. It usually works.

ikuyok · 9 months

It is true what they say: Women are from Omicron Persei 7, men are from Omicron Persei 9.

real-dreamer · 9 months

Why wouldn't he tell her his motorcycle wouldn't start? She wants to communicate with him. sigh

greenymile · 9 months

Two women are chatting in an office.

Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"

Woman 2: "Yes."

Woman 1: "Was it good?"

Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"

Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"

At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.

Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?"

Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"

Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!"

Pravusmentis · 9 months

Man I don't know how many times I've seen a joke on reddit that was later turned into an imgur post for extra karma, I think that I'll do that if I decide I want lots of karma.

blueyb · 9 months

What many people in this thread want you to believe:

Man: "No, it's nothing with you, it's my motorcycle. It won't start, I've been thinking about it all night"

Woman: "Oh, ok... I was worried it was something to do with us. I'm relieved, now, so I'll leave you some alone time for a bit to ponder your mechanical issues."

~~~~~~~~ Reality:

Man: "No, it's nothing with you, it's my motorcycle. It won't start, I've been thinking about it all night"

Woman: "Again with that Fucking TOY of yours? You spend all your goddamn time on that thing. Why don't you grow up and sell it like a REAL grown-up would? You have way too many things that need fixing around this house for you to spend time on your bullshit! If you cared about me at all, I wouldn't even need to say any of this!"

alphamini · 9 months

LOL - guys are so simple and girls are so deep. Why can't they just get along?

/s

Sinopsis · 9 months

I have heard this story...so...damn...much

Hurtssogood635 · 9 months

haha this is hilarious

littlestghoust · 9 months

I don't know if I am like that...mainly cuz I totally get lost in my thoughts for hours...

blackgrrl23 · 9 months

I would have just let him ride me then ride my motorcycle until his was fixed...no big deal...

funny

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