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all 43 comments

[–]anace 50 points51 points ago

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"Give a man a fire and he will be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life." -Sir Terry Pratchett

[–]thumper242 5 points6 points ago

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I've heard that over and over and never knew it was a Sir Terry Pratchett quote.
TIL

[–]anace 5 points6 points ago

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According to this, it's from Jingo.

I knew it was Discworld, but there's so many that it's hard to tell where the one-off jokes are from.

[–]Cptn_Janeway 23 points24 points ago

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"Fish for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable."

-Ron Swanson

[–]kat1982 14 points15 points ago

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"The steak? Ribeye. The whiskey? Lagavulin 16. The woman sitting next to me? A bitch."

[–]eye_patch_willy 15 points16 points ago

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I like fishing, it relaxes me. It's like yoga, but I get to kill something.

[–]Humpy1988 7 points8 points ago

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I really want to shoot a gun

Fishing it is

[–]Unaphotobomber 10 points11 points ago

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My friend Thomas always says "give a man a fish and you feed a man for a day, gut a man like a fish and fuck his wife later"

[–]Cptn_Janeway 7 points8 points ago

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[–]the04dude 6 points7 points ago

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So not only does this EXIST, but you have deprived the rest of the party of CAKE!

[–]pinkytheunicorn 4 points5 points ago

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Anything this man says seems like good advice.

[–]jesusonadinosaur 3 points4 points ago

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Finally a man who hates the government as much as I do.

[–]jimfl 2 points3 points ago

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Teach a man to fish, and he will covet your boat.

[–]JihadDerp 1 point2 points ago

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"FIRST OF ALL, THE INCOME TAX IS ILLEGAL."

[–]Targ 1 point2 points ago

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Teach a man to fish and he'll be out on the lake drinking beer all day.

[–]xkalibur 1 point2 points ago

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Teach a man to phish, and he will steal identities for a lifetime

[–]Infintinity 1 point2 points ago

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Reading all of these comments in his voice made my day.

[–]sgtpepper1990 1 point2 points ago

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Who is this guy and why is he all over my Reddit?

[–]Mckerlie 0 points1 point ago

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Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation. It's a pretty awesome show.

[–]sgtpepper1990 0 points1 point ago

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Interesting. I have it on my Netflix queue, just haven't gotten to watching it.

[–]flipcoder 1 point2 points ago

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"They say if you give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day, but if you teach a man to fish.... then he's gotta get a fishing license, but he doesn't have any money. So he's got to get a job and get into the Social Security system and pay taxes, and now you're gonna audit the poor cocksucker, 'cause he's not really good with math. So he'll pull the IRS van up to your house, and he'll take all your shit. He'll take your black velvet Elvis and your Batman toothbrush, and your penis pump, and that all goes up for auction with the burden of proof on you because you forgot to carry the one, 'cause you were just worried about eating a fucking fish, and you couldn't even cook the fish 'cause you needed a permit for an open flame. Then the Health Department is going to start asking you a lot of questions about where are you going to dump the scales and the guts. 'This is not a sanitary environment', and ladies and gentlemen if you get sick of it all at the end of the day... not even legal to kill yourself in this country."

  • Doug Stanhope

[–]BanksKnowsBest[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Poetry

[–]Fig1024 -1 points0 points ago

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this seems like the prefect Republican Motto

[–]FreeSammiches 5 points6 points ago

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Ron Swanson would be offended by that. He is a libertarian.

[–]JabbrWockey 2 points3 points ago

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...or bipartisan bait