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all 161 comments

[–]protocol141112 159 points160 points ago

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Wrong, paper Mario has HP.

[–]Ridyi 102 points103 points ago

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[–]daskrip 51 points52 points ago*

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The Return Postage Badge is where it's at. :D The only problem with it is that if you got it, there is absolutely no reason for you to need it. It's like breaking down the world's strongest door to get a universal key.

Me getting that badge is my most memorable RPG experience ever.

** ** SPOILERS AHEAD ** **

So, after beating the game and training for a while, I decided to take on the Pit. Previously, I have only gotten to level 20 or so. I bought items, and went down one of the scariest pipes in the game. I got to level 50, and a friend wanted to hang out. I didn't want to leave the game on for so long, and come back when I lost my fire, so I had to either ditch my friend, or go back up the pipe. I decided to do the latter, after which I felt like I wasted so much time and so many items.

After re-collecting the heals needed for the Pit, I finally went back down, this time even more prepared than before. I fought through the first 50 levels, knowing exactly what to expect. My counters were timed really well for the most part.

After level 50, the enemies got almost too much to bear. I knew level 100 had an insanely fierce enemy, so I did my best to save as many heals as possible for him. However, I lost a lot, too many I thought. Anyways, level 99 came, and I was almost done for. I really didn't want to heal, so I took a risk with the fight. I was going to win, but there was no way I'd survive the boss after losing so many heals.

Then it happened.

A glimmer of light somehow found its way to a point underground deeper than I ever thought possible. After struggling through level 99, my Star Points filled up! I leveled up at what seemed like an impossibly good time. This gave me a new hope for whatever monstrosity I would see ahead. As I entered the final pipe, I already felt a powerful aura...

There it lay. Hooktail's second brother. Incidentally, my little Yoshi was named Hooktail. This irony held little time in my mind, as I was set on the beast, specifically the juxtaposition of the scene. I slowly walked toward it and woke it up, knowing it could have been the last decision I would ever make.

My chest was pounding wildly, but I was ready for this fight and I knew it. I beat the Shadow Queen before, how hard could BoneTail, one of her pets, be? My first move was Tattle, I needed to know just how powerful this beast is. Goombella said that BoneTail could be more powerful than the last boss. A lightning bolt of despair struck my heart, but it wasn't enough to sway my confidence.

I did my best to learn the counter timing of his moves as he wiped out all of Mario's partners. Goombella didn't last long. Bobbery was next, as he was the most powerful. He didn't last long either. Nobody did. BoneTail annihilated my partners (which included Ms. Mouz) as I revived previous ones. Mario was standing behind in defense, watching the horror in front of him. In what felt like a flash, I was out of revival mushrooms and partners.

It was time for Mario to step up. He had no more defense, and he was going to avenge his fallen partners. BoneTail was heavily weakened, but even in his state, he managed to get Mario to low hp fast. I used a mushroom to heal him. I did damage and healed as much as I could until I had no mushrooms left at all. I had great control of my multi-jump, and I milked it to its full potential. BoneTail was almost out, but then he hit Mario with a mighty blow.

Mario, the very last hope for this fight, was in critical. But I just needed one more multi-jump to finish BoneTail off. Without hesitation, I did it. I saw the beast fall onto his back, all my fears going down with him. The one Star Point of experience he regurgitated was the greatest Star Point of all. It was perhaps even better than the treasure that came with it, seeing as I took down the most powerful enemy of them all. I didn't need any help in combat after this, the badge served merely as a collector's item. A memento of my toughest journey ever.

[–]ISeeYourOtherHand 13 points14 points ago

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It was all so eloquent and sophisticated until "My chest was pounding harder than dongs."

[–]daskrip 5 points6 points ago

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hey, well excuuuuuse me, princess!
i'm not an author, just a dude with a bit of passion.
but you're right, i think i might change that.

edit: fixed.

[–]ISeeYourOtherHand 8 points9 points ago

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PUT. IT. BACK. I liked it.

[–]aguytyping 0 points1 point ago

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Don't worry, no need, his dong is in his other hand.

[–]you_lurk_moar 1 point2 points ago

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Quoting the Zelda tv show? That's low.

[–]daskrip 0 points1 point ago

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It's an awesome quote, regardless of where it's from. :D

[–]DH3 7 points8 points ago

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All the Thousand Year Door love in this thread is making me feel all warm and fuzzy.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Excellent write up, felt so nostalgic reading all of that.

One-up'd.

[–]daskrip 9 points10 points ago*

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What?! You read the whole thing? That was possibly my longest Reddit post ever.
That's a huge compliment. Thank you!

EDIT: I'd like to add that I too felt really nostalgic playing the game, except I felt it even before the game ended. I would keep going back to the space station to visit the giant computer and talk to him a bit. I felt so bad for him. He was all alone in a dark room of an isolated station, all the time, and he would never see his love ever again. D:

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I know right! That game just has such a charm to it, I'd love to revisit now that I haven't played it for several years.

[–]asdofikjasdlfkjqwpea 3 points4 points ago

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I felt pretty nostalgic reading it. That was such an amazingly designed game. The writing, the atmosphere, the music, the mystery, and the emotional connection you developed with the characters all culminated to make not only my favorite RPG, but also one of my favorite games of all time. Never thought I could say that about a Mario game, but that's how I felt about this one, even moreso than the original Paper Mario.

[–]daskrip 2 points3 points ago

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Yes. People wouldn't think its story would be as deep as it is, just because it's a Mario game.
TTYD is the one RPG that, in my opinion, could not be improved upon.
In EarthBound, I found the turn-based battles to be tedious. In Pokemon, I hate random encounters. In FFXIII, the environment lacks interactivity.
TTYD has auto-killing weak enemies, no random encounters, a skill-based battle system, a fully-interactive environment with puzzles and platforming. Man, it's just so perfect the way I see it. The only game to get every element right.

[–]Sven2774 2 points3 points ago

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Huh. It looks like I know what game I am replaying till Skyward Sword comes out.

[–]Sharrakor 1 point2 points ago

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A single Star Point? Awww. But I'm happy for you. Remind me, what did the Return Postage badge do?

[–]daskrip 2 points3 points ago

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When an enemy does physical damage to you, they get half the damage back. It would be quite godly if you have it near the start of the game. I guess it's POSSIBLE to get it near the start, but it would require doing the Pit of 100 Trials at a low level. You'd need to memorize every enemy's counter perfectly. And no save points.

[–]boss1000 1 point2 points ago

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Some people don't get gaming. This would help them understand.

And what does this badge do? I understand the pointlessness of doing the hardest thing in the game to earn something that won't help you in anything else, but I'm curious.

[–]daskrip 1 point2 points ago

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Any physical attack done on you deals half the damage back to the enemy. If an enemy does 10 damage to you, they get 5 damage.
You can combine it with Double Damage to double the effect.

[–]flex0r 1 point2 points ago

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Excellent read, reading this motivated me to go fishing through my closet for my gamecube and the game. Thank you.

[–]Freshtilldeath 1 point2 points ago

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That probably took a while to write, but I liked it, I also beat Bonetail in a similar fashion. Great game, great story.

[–]cr101 1 point2 points ago

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I used Danger Mario, took him out in one turn. Now I feel bad.

[–]daskrip 0 points1 point ago

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I learned about that waaay later. Man. I'm glad I didn't know about that at the time, but my next play through of the game might be with Danger Mario.

[–]IOnlyUpvoteSelfPosts 6 points7 points ago

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It's all about power plus and defend plus, bro

[–]garbobjee 4 points5 points ago

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and Quick Change!

[–]Ridyi 4 points5 points ago

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Can't do better than Quick Change.

[–]aguytyping 0 points1 point ago

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Somehow this lacks the punch of the original... somehow...

[–]Phoequinox -1 points0 points ago

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Unless it's FUCKING SUPER PAPER MARIO. I just bought that game, and it was one of the biggest regrets I've made buying a game ever. Up there with Kirby's Epic Yarn, which actually has an eerie amount in common with SPM. Fuck both of them.

[–]The_Resisty 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah, I was actually confused at first.

[–]David_Jay 1 point2 points ago

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This is true. Of course, one could argue that the post is more about the idea of Mario.

[–]Forever-Alones 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]KevinAlligators 30 points31 points ago

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Ah. Paper Mario games are always my favorite. Really excited for the new one.

[–]Zeo077 20 points21 points ago

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My favorite's still Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.

[–]gerwalking 13 points14 points ago

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Agreed, SMRPG is my favorite game. The Paper Marios (sans Super, which shouldn't even be grouped with them imo not only because of gameplay but story telling style) are a close second.

TYD, along with Mother/Earthbound have some of the best writing in videogames imo. They play with humor constantly but still make you feel like the world they're in is facing a serious threat. I wish I could find more games with a similar level of quality where you can just feel the staff had fun making it and cared about it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]UnholyAngel 8 points9 points ago

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I don't think he's arguing that Super Paper Mario is bad. You can't honestly say it belongs in the same category as the other Paper mario games - the storytelling is very different as is the gameplay. All amazing games, but very different gameplay/story.

[–]gerwalking 3 points4 points ago

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Correct. On its own, Super Paper Mario is a fun game. But when you see that "Paper Mario" title and walk in carrying the expectations of the other two, it's just disappointing because it doesn't fit the series at all, but is more like the other newer side-scroller Mario games. I think the biggest blow was it meant we wouldn't get another actual RPG Paper Mario styled game until 2012.

[–]cr101 2 points3 points ago

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I agree. While I still enjoyed Super Paper Mario, it was a bit of a letdown for me (especially since I came with such high hopes from TTYD) and the lack of turn-based combat definitely put it lower on my scale than either of the previous games.

[–]UnholyAngel 0 points1 point ago

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I just treated it as a more normal Mario game and wasn't disappointed at all. The levels were cool, the story worked, it got an A in my book. But if you were expected another Paper Mario then I could see disappointment.

[–]SlutBuster 4 points5 points ago

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While I have never played Paper Mario, I agree with the tone of this comment.

[–]Sven2774 1 point2 points ago

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I think it's a great game, it just isn't a Paper Mario game. It didn't have nearly as much focus on partners. Sure, you still get them and they do talk a little, but they didn't have anywhere near the personality of any of the partners from the first two games.

I liked the dialogue but I felt that it was missing something the first two games had. Plus, the worlds weren't as memorable. Quick, name for me a few worlds from the first two games (shouldn't be hard, the second game practically copies the first in some aspects.) Now name some from the third. How many more did you name from the first two?

It's a shame to, Super Paper Mario could have been fucking amazing. I really liked Count Bleck and Dimensio as villains.

[–]garbobjee 0 points1 point ago

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Thousand Year Door was awesome though!

[–]KevinAlligators 1 point2 points ago

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Ah. Of course. I'm biased, because of nostalgia sake, so Paper Mario will always be special. Also this is one of the best things about the Wii, it has tons of classic RPG's to play, Paper Mario, and Mario RPG included. Plus Chrono Trigger. Tons of awesome games in case you missed it.

[–]insanekoz 5 points6 points ago

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Hell, the Virtual Console is the reason my Wii stays plugged in. I've bought like 20-30 classics that I missed out on. Super Mario RPG, Super Metroid (especially), Super Mario Kart, Japanese Super Mario Bros. 2, Mega Man, Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VI.

It's perfect.

All they need is Earthbound and Yoshi's Island.

[–]KevinAlligators 2 points3 points ago

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Unfortunately Earthbound probably will never happen. Something to do with the rights. Not that I wouldn't crap my pants if I ever head it was on it's way to Virtual Console.

[–]insanekoz 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah I know. =(

I don't want to play in on a PC or pay $80 for it on ebay so =(.

[–]Uncle_Toms_Cadillac 2 points3 points ago

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Yoshis Island is probably my favorite game ever. I have all the other classic marios on virtual console, but yoshis island is missing. If you really want to play it, you can download an emulator to get your fix.

[–]Ridyi 1 point2 points ago

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Can't give you enough upvotes. Couldn't replay that game enough. If I got amnesia and forgot my whole childhood, the only thing I would regret losing (if I could, y'know, properly regret things I didn't remember) would be that game.

[–]dermballs 1 point2 points ago

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I like the Mario and Luigi series. I love the Chaplinesque characterizations of the two mostly mute characters.

[–]Reaganometry 6 points7 points ago

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There's a new one?!

[–]Djames516 13 points14 points ago

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For 3ds. It'll be like the first 2, not super paper mario.

[–]Shcuf 15 points16 points ago

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Thank goodness! Super Paper Mario was extremely disappointing.

[–]gerwalking 8 points9 points ago

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I think it was the lack of towns and partners. The little mute pixel dudes didn't compare at all to the bros you made in the first two. And the town drama was minimal and fleeting at best. The only memorable thing from SPM was the level with the geek lizard that tried to use dating sim tactics on Princess Peach.

[–]thirstysquirrel 4 points5 points ago

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First time Nintendo games introduce the term "hot babe"

[–]Shcuf 2 points3 points ago

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I think the RPG elements made Paper Mario what it was. The battles in The Crystal Stars were more in-depth than most other games. Leveling up, using items, crafting, quests, strategy in battle, and so on.

Super Paper Mario was like a normal Mario game where you just had a health bar. You're still just jumping on enemies.

[–]supergtt 1 point2 points ago

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ah the bros from paper mario. good bros. I want to see more of them. specifically the trap ghost and the girl gomba. and mallow from mario rpg.

[–]gerwalking 2 points3 points ago

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I heard they can't use Mallow or Geno in anything because Squeenix is being dicks about it and clinging to their ownership. They can let them cameo (as Geno has once) if they give permission and throw TMs all over it, but I wouldn't count on more than that.

[–]supergtt 1 point2 points ago

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i know :(

[–]Sven2774 0 points1 point ago

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I don't even understand why. They haven't done anything with Geno and they saw how successful he was in Super Mario RPG, the only game he was actually in.

[–]gerwalking 1 point2 points ago

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IIRC at some point Square and Nintendo had a falling out and they were being dicks over bitterness. Now they have good relations again but I guess they're treating them that way out of leverage.

[–]meh-aidez 0 points1 point ago

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but geno is a spirit? can't they just bring him back in some other form factor?

[–]rdeluca 0 points1 point ago

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I don't want him as anything other than a fuckin awesome machinegun-starcannon-999discthrowin-doll

[–]cr101 0 points1 point ago

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digibutter.nerr
"Clearly episode 127 of the X-Naut Chronicles is like the schweetest thing ever"

[–]Reaganometry 1 point2 points ago

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This is... the best news. Ever.

[–]asdofikjasdlfkjqwpea 0 points1 point ago

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That's the biggest disappointment for me. I loved the heck out of my DS Lite, but I'm not really sure I can justify the purchase of the 3DS, it just seems like such an underwhelming system. Tried it out in a store this week and really didn't like the 3D, thought it was extremely gimmicky. But I might just have to swallow my pride and buy one for Paper Mario.

[–]KevinAlligators 0 points1 point ago

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I own a 3DS and I still don't regret it, and I don't even own a game for it yet (the money just isn't in the cards right now). But their are a few really awesome games on their way there. Paper Mario, and Super Mario 3DS to name a few.

As for the gimmicky 3D I'm assuming you played it somewhere where the 3DS has limited motion. I too thought the 3D was really bad, until I played my friends 3DS. You just have to get the right angle and distance away from the system and then it looks really good, at least personally.

[–]VoidMain0 1 point2 points ago

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For the 3DS, yup! 2012

[–]silveragescientist 2 points3 points ago*

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I bought a 3DS specifically for the promise of a new RPG style Paper Mario game. As weird as it may be to admit, Paper Mario 2: The Thousand Year Door is my single favorite game of all time.

[–]theshinepolicy 22 points23 points ago

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"I have but three lives to give for my country."

  • Mario

[–]po43292 6 points7 points ago

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[–]DameDrinkware 12 points13 points ago

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I want this as a gym shirt.

[–]NEVERISNOTDRUNK 4 points5 points ago*

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Legit advice! Got diabetes and had my feet amputated. I am smaller but not dead!

[–]Nawara_Ven 0 points1 point ago

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You're still a big man in my book.

[–]herpderpedia 9 points10 points ago

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Mushrooms don't.

[–]PrplFlavrdZombe 9 points10 points ago

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They make you taller

[–]marusz 10 points11 points ago

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no, they make you higher.

[–]S0ERJ0 -1 points0 points ago

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I see what you did there.

[–]thaidavid 6 points7 points ago

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[–]midor 4 points5 points ago

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I need the shrooms to hurry up now cuz I cant jump much longer.

[–]meh-aidez 1 point2 points ago

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I LOVE THAT BLACK EYED PEAS SONG

[–]monstereddit 2 points3 points ago

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Who is this red hat and mustache guy? I see references to him everywhere all over the internet, I'm guessing he is from some game.

[–]poeman 1 point2 points ago

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Megaman

[–]redgroupclan 0 points1 point ago

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Not sure if serious...

[–]HonorInDefeat 1 point2 points ago

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I need you to eat a Mushroom

'Cause I can't play much longer.

[–]Sven2774 1 point2 points ago

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Can't wait for the 3DS Paper Mario. Now to find my copy of Thousand Year Door.

[–]kanye_says 1 point2 points ago

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I need you to hurry up now, cuz I can't wait much longer -Peach

[–]woofertweeter 3 points4 points ago

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Take that, Nietzsche.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I was seriously expecting it to say gives me xp. Wrong Mario there

[–]jabber_of_poo 1 point2 points ago

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I have the same problem when people use teeth

[–]poatrick 1 point2 points ago

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That's what you get, when playing mario stoned.... Was it a eureka moment?

[–]axopatrick 1 point2 points ago

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[–]czechreck 0 points1 point ago

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What doesn't kill me, makes me angrier.

[–]arrogantjack 0 points1 point ago

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Eventually it'll drop you out of a cliff, then you come back. collect 100 golds for a life up. how realistic isn't it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Here's a little nifty thing about BP usage, you can basically customize mario to any stat you want with BP, a most popular one is Danger Mario.

I myself haven't tried all of them, but i have used danger mario and it's a very hectic but rewarding and powerful BP move-set.

[–]rdeluca 0 points1 point ago

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Danger mario is nuts. hahaha.

[–]rockstang 0 points1 point ago

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new desktop background

[–]dinkpwns 0 points1 point ago

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erections too.

[–]ImWittyNoSrsly 0 points1 point ago

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Poor Peach.

[–]vilidan[!] 0 points1 point ago

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Same thing happens to my penis.

[–]keymaster999 0 points1 point ago

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or makes you change your clothes

[–]cryptogram 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen the comments about paper Mario already, but I think this was meant to be about Super Mario in general. However, it's still incorrect. For example, in Super Mario Bros. if you had eaten the fire flower and were hit you'd just become a normal Mario.. not changing size. Ok, awkward, thanks.

[–]ExodusRex 0 points1 point ago

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Strange mushrooms in masonry? EAT IT.

[–]kabukistar 0 points1 point ago

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...or takes away your cape.

[–]JustinRampage 0 points1 point ago

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[–]royaleavecdufromage 0 points1 point ago

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stars

[–]Ferg8 0 points1 point ago

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Funny because what doesn't kill me can certainly make me quadriplegic.

[–]SluttyPhilosopher 0 points1 point ago*

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Interestingly enough, he looks a lot like Nietzsche (the mustache, most of all).

[–]Nawara_Ven 0 points1 point ago

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You must have got downvotes because your comments only appeal to a small sub-audience... a part of a whole group in terms of appeal... a fraction of people in regards to enjoyment... a... uh... what would you call it?

[–]SluttyPhilosopher 0 points1 point ago

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you mean they don't know the (original) quote is from Nietzsche and that super mario reminds of super man (ubermensch), plus the mustachio of FML?

sort of, yes.

[–]Nawara_Ven 0 points1 point ago

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"A Nietzsche audience".

[–]Wontoncookie 0 points1 point ago

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In real life sounds like a Penis joke

[–]gerwalking -1 points0 points ago

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Poor choice of Mario.

Off topic, but anyone else excited to fuck and back for the new Paper Mario game for the 3ds? It's the entire motivation for me buying the 3ds (that and my old DS was a 2004 model and finally starting to die battery-wise.)

[–]aholeinthestall -2 points-1 points ago

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Thanks for the facebook status

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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How to Philosophize with a Hammer

[–]unrealaz -1 points0 points ago

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[–]BronzeBlade7 -1 points0 points ago

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Just like fat chicks and my penis

[–]axopatrick -1 points0 points ago

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Pure genious

[–]pikindaguy -3 points-2 points ago

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What if Mario has fire ability/feather?

[–]gerwalking 1 point2 points ago

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He gets an intervention from his friends and family.

[–]1338h4x 0 points1 point ago

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You still go back to being small in the earlier games, but in some of the GBA remakes and New Super Mario Bros. you simply lose your powerup while remaining big.

[–]Thumbz8 -5 points-4 points ago*

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Just realized that saying doesn't make sense. If it doesn't kill you, it probably weakens you. In the end you may grow to be stronger, but there aren't many things that either aid you, or kill you.

EDIT: Well, I can see where this is going. I guess I'll just go for a preemptive strike. Fuck all of you with your shallow inability to catch on when I learn something new and share it. If I could live with more intelligent people, I would. Everyone get's the old quote, it's 1st grade intelligence. Fuck you if you think I don't get it too.

[–]DefinitelyHittinOnYa -1 points0 points ago

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There is no substitute for experience. Luck helps to an extent but experience beats all. What doesn't kill you gives you the knowledge to help you beat it.

[–]Wandering_Sophist -1 points0 points ago

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The wording of the original quote from Nietzsche (depending on the translation) makes this a bit clearer:

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

[–]keleyeemoh -1 points0 points ago

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As well as the addendum from West:

I need you to hurry up now, 'cause I can't wait much longer.

[–]Ddub87 -2 points-1 points ago

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ughhhhh

[–]Bonoziste -2 points-1 points ago

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good one hehehe

[–]mechanicalscribbler -2 points-1 points ago

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And mushrooms make me stronger, amirite?

[–]deGary -2 points-1 points ago

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False. Obtaining a power-up such as a mushroom actually makes Mario larger. It does not kill him nor does it make him smaller.

[–]I_can_only_say_PENIS -2 points-1 points ago

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PENIS

[–]EastenNinja -3 points-2 points ago

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I need you to hurry up now

cause i'm loosing points already

[–]synapsii -5 points-4 points ago

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I was hoping for a paper mario fanboy circlejerk, but alas...

[–]mcmur -3 points-2 points ago

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I don't get this.

Upvote for paper Mario though, it still remains my favorite Mario game ever.