this post was submitted on
273 points (64% like it)
616 up votes 343 down votes

funny

subscribe2,467,133 readers

6,173 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 42 comments

[–]superkp 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

because his teeth are non-symmetrical.

[–]CognitiveAssonance -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

^

[–]zombiebarbie 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you mean... asymmetrical?

[–]BakulaSelleck92 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think it's unsymmetrical.

[–]zombiebarbie 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are you sure its not symetrically-challenged?

[–]dial_m_for_me 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Creepy like when Tom Cruise laughs. That's how your finger felt in my ass.

[–]raydeen 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's just your Thetan reacting to Xenu's emissary.

[–]napoleondance 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because it's a smile with nothing behind the eyes.

[–]twistedshadow 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because it is. shivers

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because it's Tom Cruise.

[–]NotTheNews 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Bottled water and false teeth.

[–]Syzif[S] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, I think it's the gums.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's also the smug nose wrinkle.

[–]DazednEnthused 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because similarly, that's the last thing Katie Holmes saw before he impregnated her.

[–]SPAAACE 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They said I could be anything I ever wanted, so I became Tom Cruise three times

[–]Kracus 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because he's faking it. His eye's don't reflect actual joys thus the look isn't quite correct.

[–]N-Aero 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He looks like Steve Jobs...

[–]rogugu 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Damn Cruise. You scary!

[–]ZeroDivided714 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

because you are a baby

[–]gangy86 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I WILL FUCK YOU UP!"

[–]I_RATE_TATS 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Tom Cruise is like a clown. He has his face painted in a smile but there's loathing and hatred in his eyes. This juxtaposition is off-putting even if we don't realize it on a conscious level.

[–]string97bean 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]tomcruiseisanalien 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I enjoy invading other planets, abducting your loved ones, and probing them in every orifice while they scream in terror.

[–]madcaesar 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I still love Top Gun. I watch it every time it's on. I don't know why...I'd never buy the DVD...or download it...or even think about it. But when it's on... it gets watched. EXPLAIN THAT SCIENCE!

[–]siouxsie_sioux 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel this way about a few Tom Cruise movies. I can't hate him. I loved Minority Report. And Tropic Thunder was awesome. I didn't hate Vanilla Sky or The Last Samurai either.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]DrKaota 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am the 1%

[–]rocket_propelled_emu 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

we are in business together

[–]mindtaker87 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

like a dirigible always gets me

[–]sinysh 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

holy triple chin

[–]blue-yoshi 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Needs more Joker.

[–]PATtheBurglar 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

because IT'S HORRIFIC!

[–]mh048t 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This guy ruined drinking Penta water for me :l

[–]iaman00b 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]blooping_blooper 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

he's going to eat you!

[–]house_of_sandwiches 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because Scientology.

[–]bobglaub 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

because it's tom cruise.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is Tom playing Steve Jobs?

[–]cruiserob92 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

dammit now I won't get any sleep tonight with that image in my head

[–]bengy77 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think perhaps because it is so sinister. the crinkling around the eye's, the rehearsed big grin and laugh. He's looking at you and seeing an insect.

[–]cosmopolous -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

quick, somebody shoop a dick in his pie-hole!