this post was submitted on
710 points (56% like it)
3,184 up votes 2,474 down votes

atheism

subscribe1,131,372 readers

5,122 users here now


Help Atheist Organizations!

The Secular Student Alliance, Camp Quest, and Foundation Beyond Belief were all nominated for the Chase Community Giving program, which awards grants based on the votes of the public. Everyone gets 2 votes on Facebook, plus an additional one if they share a CCG page. The links for them are:

SSA | CQ | FBB

Voting runs from September 6-19


Welcome to r/atheism, the web's largest atheist forum. All topics related to atheism, agnosticism and secular living are welcome here. Please read our FAQ.

New posts: New Rising
Self posts: New Relevant
Non-image posts: New Relevant

Recommended reading and viewing

Thank you notes


Related Subreddits <--the big list

GodlessWomen YoungAtheists AtheistParents
BlackAtheism AtheistGems DebateAnAtheist
skeptic agnostic freethought
antitheism humanism Hitchens
a6theism10 tfbd AdviceAtheists

Events
10/5-6 NAPCON2012 - Boston
08/11 Regional Conference - St. Paul MN
Giving
DWB/MSF fundraiser
Kiva lending team
FBB's Appeal to Freethinkers to Fight Cancer
Camp Quest
Ex* Groups
ex-Muslim ex-Catholic ex-Mormon
ex-JW ex-Jew ex-SistersinZion
ex-Bahai ex-Christian ex-Adventist
Assistance
Coming Out
Atheist Havens
Start an Atheist Club at Your School

Chat: #reddit-atheism on irc.freenode.net

Watch: #/r/atheism on reddit.tv

Read The FAQ


Submit Rage Comic

Submit Facebook Chat

Submit Meme

Submit Something Else

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 146 comments

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love these 'fuck off, Jesus' comics. Quite a collection of them here.

edit

A couple more here

Know your meme: 'Jesus is a jerk'

[–]mcbunn 31 points32 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]loveisfornerds 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]chingyduster 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Going to hell for laughing at that one.

[–]Negro_Napoleon 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This one is actually true.

Its not in people's bibles but in the Apocrypha (other books of christianity that people dont realize exists) there ARE fire breathing dragons that jesus defeats.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think I read a Cracked article about some things like this. Apparently Jesus killed a kid that bumped into him accidentally when Jesus was a child? I kind of doubt the legitimacy of things like this but I never checked if it was true.

[–]NobleArgon 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh, in some books, Jesus cursed several people, some of which died later. So yes, that is effectively a thing. It's also obviously a reason that the Church didn't want to admit them into the actual Bible, wen they were deciding which ones were going to be decreed orthodox.

[–]Denny_Craine 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sounds like the Gospel of Thomas. Look that shit up, it was canon for a while

[–]DildoBagginz 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

other books of christianity that Christians dont realize exists

FTFY

[–]cbrunos 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This one is actually** true**.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]qemqemqem 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can't tell if you're joking. If not source please?

[–]Negro_Napoleon 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]brownpan 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

All of these versus are in the Old Testament. Things were MUCH different back then.

[–]Negro_Napoleon -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

...

[–]pcomet235 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

precisely what I was looking for when I went to the comments, thanks!

[–]BattleSausage 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

TIL the guy who originally drew these is from my home town. Damn it.

[–]daychilde 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Howdy from down the road in Panama City. Well, down the road from your home town, anyway. hehe

[–]Ihavenospecialskills -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm (sort of) christian and find these hilarious.

[–]etskinner 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you. Came here for this comment.

[–]silico -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You are my hero.

[–]downvotesmakemejiz -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nope. More like fuck ON jesus. i hope jesus rams his jewish dick down your throat and you choke on the holy cum

[–]Niqalye 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This little change I made made me feel a little better about the picture.

[–]flossdaily 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you. The original was poorly done. Some people are just bad at humor.

[–]daychilde 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thank you for saving me the effort, because I totally agree.

[–]Tygeminator 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Beware the Viggo Mortensen, do not mistake him for our lord Jesus Christ.

[–]MayorEmanuel 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is something that has annoyed my for quite some time. Jesus was crucified through the wrists not the hands. The Romans weren't stupid the hands could not support the full weight of the body, jesus's hands would be literally torn off of his arms and he would fall off the cross. The wrists on the other hand would allow for the execution to continue. Davinchi would show Jesus with nail whole through his wrists but hardly anyone else can get it right.

[–]alexicov 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not gonna lie, I lolled

[–]dreamtheater251 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I lolled maybe a little too much.

[–]grantgravity 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Anyone else think this version of Jesus looks like Aragorn in LOTR?

http://i.imgur.com/q5n7l.jpg

[–]tmlangen 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes.

[–]HughJorgan1986 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]insanopointless -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I came in to say it looked like Viggo was the model. Aragorn has done way more for me than jesus

[–]Forgets_To_Relog 32 points33 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Did r/atheism become the "Post anything that can be considered vaguely insulting to religion" while I was away?

[–]Forgets_To_Relog 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Look, this is a free speech subreddit that has many people of different backgrounds who are united by one thing-their atheism. If someone posts something offensive to you, you can really easily just keep scrolling and not make a big deal about it.

[–]SaucyKing 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I see what you did there.

[–]Forgets_To_Relog 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I agree, ever since we have been getting all these new people r/atheism has been a powder keg for argument and rage. I dont know how long you were "away" for, but the r/atheism I frequent is an environment that has always had a wide variety of religion based humor.

[–]DiscoPH3V3R -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think he just meant that it should have been posted to r/funny since it's freaking hilarious.

Oh well, since r/atheism is on the front page I guess it doesn't really matter any more.

[–]Rottingpie 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wait a minuet!

[–]ZalRed 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Best novelty account ever.

[–]timeformetofly 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This obviously a place for juvenile atheists who have no real reason to be atheists other than it's popular right now.

[–]Forgets_To_Relog 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Its been 2 hours. Look at my username and the people commenting below me.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]timeformetofly 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It is on this website, sadly...

[–]Denny_Craine -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yeah seriously I hate things that are funny and make me laugh!

[–]mindevolve 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Someone needs to replace the carpenter with Norm Abram from This Old House

[–]Syntic 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've gathered quite a few, enjoy :)

http://imgur.com/a/rnjRX

[–]sansdeity 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

laughing my ass off here

[–]Tom_Waits_Monkey 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]greyflcn 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Remember, you're better off dead. Just so long as it isn't suicide."

[–]shadow321337 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The guy that drew the original pictures (and posted them online as a completely serious religious thing) lives less than 5 minutes from my parent's house. If you guys give me a good enough troll idea, next time I go back there (in a few weeks), I will implement it. I've looked into this before and know exactly where his house is, but couldn't come up with a good enough joke.

[–]kazorek 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If he's a dick, I approve. If he's a nice old man, you're a dick.

[–]shadow321337 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Honestly, I don't know what kind of person he is. Perhaps I should fake a dead car battery and knock on his door asking for a jump and see how he responds.

[–]kazorek 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was a little harsh, I'm sure your not a dick.

I've always kinda felt bad about these drawings though. If I remember right on his website he talks about how he just found art in old age and he seemed so proud of it. It'd be shitty if he knew the whole Internet laughs at it.

[–]shadow321337 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If anything, I was hoping I would enlighten him to the jokes. Maybe he would think they are funny and make more.

[–]ReverendSinatra 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He knows about them, says that it saddens him but that he is glad the message in the images is reaching people despite the jokes. Seems like a nice old man, you should leave him alone.

[–]shadow321337 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Aw, now I can't do it. Where'd you see he said that?

[–]ReverendSinatra 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There is also a video interview here.

[–]shadow321337 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yuuuuup. That's Niceville. Not actually a very nice place to live.

[–]Anomalyzero 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Where are these from? I've seen a few and they are absolutely hilarious

[–]maldio 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not sure why you got down voted for merely asking. They're Larry Van Pelt's Jesus - With You Always series.

[–]GideonCDingle 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pretending that Christianity is a legitimate system of belief betrays the trust of every child who is presented with it and looks to the world for help interpreting the Bible's poisonous propaganda.

Too bad if some Redditor lapses into high dudgeon.

[–]TossOffAway 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

New Yankee Jesus!

This image will hold a place of honor above my drill press.

[–]LibraryKrystal 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This Jesus looks like Keith Stone.

[–]TwoHands 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

what is this guy even doing?

[–]yogurtshwartz 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

so this is atheism?

[–]AnalKaboom 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

TIL making fun of religion can't be atheist.

[–]Im_lost_here 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This should be on ImGoingToHellForThis Subreddit hahahahaha

[–]Pandoh 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

LOL

[–]jabbrwokk 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Man these things make me laugh every time. Thanks for sharing your collections.

[–]WearyMorlock 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Val Kilmer is Jesus?

[–]applebag 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

lmfao why do these get me every time? fucking...jesus.

[–]Xenri 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I lol'd

[–]neanderthalman 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm actually rather disappointed in the original artwork. I mean, the concept itself could be really well done, even if I disagree with the message.

This one could have Jesus holding something up for him while he secures it in place. The other popular one with the truck driver could have Jesus reading a map. Be more creative than this hands on the shoulders crap.

[–]Phapeu 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Every time I see this picture I think of Kevin Ashman from Eggheads (BBC).

[–]E1nstien 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You die and you go to hell where the Dick demond is going to butt sex you for eternity! Aaaaahhhh

[–]Tom_Waits_Monkey 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]the-knife 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The order of the text parts was confusing, because I read left to right, so I fixed it: Mirrored version here.

[–]stringerbell 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]daychilde -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know why this is getting downvoted, I thought it was hilarious.

For a serious fix, though, here: http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/lngd4/fuck_off_jesus/c2u5q6a

[–]pea_nut 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm going to hell for laughing

[–]Pandoh 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What's that hell place you speak of?

[–]pea_nut 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not sure. I just heard it was warm there.

[–]Farfecknugat 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know why but I feel Jesus should be on the left side in this comic

[–]valleyshrew 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why do people cut their hands to get blood in movies and things? That's one of the worst place to cut yourself. Last weeks Vampire Diaries had a guy cut the length of his palm for a few drops of blood. Cutting the back of your arm barely hurts and isn't too uncomfortable while healing. Cutting your hand is debilitating.

[–]greyflcn 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because movies are meant to have to feel emotion through involuntarily recoiling in pain because you know without thinking that poking your hand hurts a hell of a lot.

[–]dunamis-now 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So wrong.

[–]Logicbunny -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

lmao i don't know why this is as funny as it is but ... it is.

[–]Truesday 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Probably cause the pervy look on jesus's face.

On a side note, why does Jesus look like white trash in all these pictures?

[–]timeformetofly 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because the person who drew them is an angry bitter person.

[–]medlish -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Now you're thinking with Jesus.

[–]guriboysf -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The guy told Jesus to fuck off before Jesus made the suggestion that he drill a hole in his hand. Quite prescient on drill guy's part. He is my new god.

Jesus, you've been replaced. Fuck off indeed.

[–]Kujata -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

am i going to hell for laughing so hard at this

[–]aG_Infamous 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If hell existed you might

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hell? Hmm. haven't heard of it. Send post cards! xoxo

[–]PhoenixAvenger -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hello, welcome to the Church of Hell!

[–]alpharaptor1 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Get the fuck off there Jesus, that's a one man lift!

[–]lherzog -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am Catholic, but I love the "Fuck off, Jesus" comics! Too funny!

[–]jordanleite25 -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Im not religious but the guy got nails drilled through his hands. Not something to really laugh about regardless of your religious view. Not trying to be "that guy" but idk im just not ok with it.

[–]Denny_Craine 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Im not religious but the guy got nails drilled through his hands.

no he didn't. He never even existed. Relax

[–]brownpan 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're right, he didn't. They were his wrists not his hands

[–]Denny_Craine -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

well that never happened either, but yeah if it had, it would have been in his wrists and through his heels

[–]JimmyHat -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

-_-

[–]Tyrantosaurus -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Jesus Morrison

[–]Tyrantosaurus -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Jesus Morrison

[–]ftFlo -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Blood Brothers...