this post was submitted on
322 points (62% like it)
821 up votes 499 down votes

funny

subscribe2,576,627 readers

7,871 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 40 comments

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm just surprised I didn't try to lube one up and fuck it when I was younger.

[–]squidward4444 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

One of my proudest moments as a child was breaking one of these while doing exactly this. I've never felt like more of a man than in that instance...

[–]YOUR-UNCLE 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cause nothing feels better than small plastic fish poking you in the dick.

[–]squidward4444 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]rileyrulesu 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I did.

[–]illfuckstartyourhead 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So has any Redditor out there actually tried to fuck one of these? i vaguely remember considering it when i was 14 or so but ended up getting into a handjob based relationship shortly thereafter and never looked back.

[–]Avien 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Tried and failed sadly.

I did however successfully get my friend's dog to lick peanut butter off my junk.

I don't see why any redditors would waste their time with these things if you have a mildly hungry canine lounging around.

[–]AntiStrange 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I did however successfully get my friend's dog to lick peanut butter off my junk.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]blastfromtheblue 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sounds risky, depending on the dog. my dogs would definitely go in for a bite.

[–]DeRage 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But I used to stick my "finger" in them...?

[–]arrachion 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Its weird how "finger" is in quotes.

[–]BILLwiTHESCIENCEfi 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But I used to finger myself with them...?

[–]seabiscuit5 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and icecreams teach us blowjobs.and walking teaches us footjobs. and pooping is reverse anal sex

[–]deesenutzFTW 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i did too but i'm a straight chick lol

[–]sporaticallysane 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Those are a lot older than the 90s . . .

[–]vesperofshadow 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yep was born in 73 and I had one of these as a kid.

[–]sporaticallysane 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Indeed. '72 here.

[–]schploing 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The Shakeweight of the 90's!!!

[–]tobesmagobes 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

These just trained me to be a ninja at catching soap in the shower.

[–]Cakela 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A lot of people also use them in incubators to help accurately test the temperature.

I totally stuck my fingers in them too as a kid.

[–]rabidpenguin 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I got one of those for my birthday 3 weeks ago. I hadn't opened it yet, but I know what I'm doing tonight!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]made_your_day 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I consider myself an internet veteran, but something about dedicating a "love" song to in inanimate object is just profoundly inappropriate. Carry on.

[–]Lucky_kelley 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

EDIT: teaching kids what to do at 3rd base since the 90's

[–]Anopheles_stingz 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We all did !

[–]Michichael 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We call that sounding!

[–]grammaticdrownedhog 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Still a handjob, my friend.

[–]sp00kyd00m 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Correct. OPs girlfriend should try to add a finger to the HJ some time...

[–]Gouken 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

When we had sex-ed class in middle school, my teacher would bring in wooden penises, with the shaft and the head, but without the testicles. I was never sure whether this was a dildo bought at a stag shop, or if was just for sex-ed purposes.

[–]ibelieveinkarma 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

These are sold as sex toys at passion parties I think there called Gi-gi. LOL. I see some inventor was creatively bored.

[–]anti_rage 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What the fuck are these, and why did I love them so much?

[–]nthensome 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I never realized that. You, sir, have ruin my fragile childhood.

[–]skunkzgerald 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I remember they would always fly out of my hand.. so I just started to chew on them

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

11th finger?

[–]SBJhehe 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's called a Water Wiggler, in case your wondering.

[–]DuckMeHarder 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I remember going on a field trip to the Broofield Zoo near Chicago, some kid on the bus got one and ended up bursting it. There was water and glitter every where, it was like a water fairy had exploded.

[–]missalissa15 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

so this is why i'm a lesbian?

[–]Alderman55 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We need pictures you know, uh for science..

[–]zyamada -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You know what that means...