this post was submitted on
1,060 points (52% like it)
10,032 up votes 8,972 down votes

funny

subscribe2,375,392 readers

17,808 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 242

[–]Strutham 383 points384 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I say we remove the stigma from the word 'slut'. I happen to like sluts, they make my penis happy and some of the nicest girls I've known have been sluts.

[–]Hitchcock_Blonde 200 points201 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I second that motion. All those in favor?

[–]Rholmes 207 points208 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AYE

[–]PLJNS 115 points116 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Alright, well that's it then, motion to remove the stigma from the word 'slut' has passed. Inform the people! They must know!

[–]FORVICTORY 55 points56 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Great work, fellow porch monkeys!

[–]gringobueno 27 points28 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We're taking it back!

[–]liberummentis 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was incredibly appropriate parliamentary procedure. Special Committee appointments for all of you.

[–]3lementaru 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'll give you a pay raise if you give me a pay raise!

[–]mAc1d 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AYE

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AYE

[–]immatellyouwhat 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AND MY AYE!

[–]MrPessimist 31 points32 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HOORAY FOR SLUTS, FOR THEY ARE GREAT!

[–]PretendsToKnowThings 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]samstr 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AND MY AXE

[–]DyingBreed5FDP 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sluts = GOOD FUCKING PEOPLE!

[–]kieranthethoams 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not sure if double entendre or ...

[–]faecere 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AYE

[–]360walkaway 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nay.

[–]evelution 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's not a slut, that's a mare.

[–]LastOneStanding 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ಠ_ಠ

[–]guitartechie 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

EYE

[–]TurboGranny 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

AYE

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Harrumph!!

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's 2011, slut is a nice thing to say now. I call them cunts.

[–]bleeptheocean 28 points29 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

a slut is not a cunt, sir. must cunts i've encountered are uptight little princesses. sluts can be cunts though, but in their own mind they aren't sluts, and they're cunty about it.

[–]CuntSmellersLLP 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You, sir, seem more informed than most on matters of cuntitude. If you ever find yourself seeking employment in the aromatic world of cunt smelling, feel free to send me a PM.

[–]taconight 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Calling them Cindy is fine too.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Such a cunt.

[–]ultraoptms 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Scrubs already did it. Hey slut!

[–]Offensive_Brute 99 points100 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i'm with you, I've had a few dear slut friends. You can really be yourself around sluts, and you still have a good chance of getting some. Honestly there are sluts out there that have definite wife potential. Level headed, not melodramatic, down to earth, sluts usually have great work ethic and have no trouble working a 40 hour work week, and they enjoy sex. Whats not to love here? Her sexual history?? Stop being so fucking insecure.

[–]Shannaniganns 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And this is coming from Offensive_Brute. Thanks, man.

[–]mcquackers 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Herpes.

[–]Jofat 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You can be promiscuous and safe. A girl who goes around letting a different guy come inside her every weekend is not merely a slut, but an idiot.

[–]mcquackers 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

While I agree with you there, what relevance does semen have to herpes?

[–]Strutham 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Overpopulation tends to result in poverty and lack of education, which in turn means people are less aware of the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.

[–]mcquackers 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thus, sluts are poverty stricken and uneducated. Got it. The things one can learn on reddit. Boy, oh, boy!

[–]knightofni451 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Condoms do not reliably protect against herpes transmission. Nothing does.

[–]rapist1 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A responsible slut gets tested.

[–]edubation 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It is the marijuana of STD's.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]Offensive_Brute 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sluts are funny in that way. The sluts I know have no problem committing 100% to a monogamous relationship. Its only when they are single that the slutness takes hold. Being promiscuous and unfaithful are not the same thing. of course you have the issue of individuality to contend with. Some sluts sleep with random men, other sluts lay their guy friends and ex's only. For some sluts its about sexual companionship, for other sluts its about being a slut, and for them new dick is part of the thrill.

So i guess it depends on the individual slut and your ability to make her cum.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]redditmoose 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Umm... you fail at life. Only time it should be over 2 months is immediately after giving birth. It takes time to heal that shit.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]redditmoose 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have. One is 5, the other is still in tummy.

[–]DoucheAsaurus_ 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well I can tell you that dealing with two kids is not twice as hard, its like four times as hard. Its fucking exponential! I have one that's 2 years and one that's 5 months. Having them 5 years apart will probably help, but I can tell you right now I haven't gotten laid in 3 weeks and counting.

[–]redditmoose 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It would be terribly cliche of me to suggest parenting differently, but my mom used to do something that stuck with me. She asked for my help with stuff, and sometimes said she needed time off. She was nice about it, and it came across as being human.

I do the same thing with my daughter, and it's working so far.

[–]holybuttballs 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You might as well say that about every guy who enjoys casual sex. It takes two to tango: you are as much of a slut as all of the sluts you've slept with.

[–]Neebat 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[citation needed]

I think you're just trying to justify the moralistic judgment of established generations.

I can offer a lot of counter arguments, but I can't give a source to back it up. It seems much more likely to me that enjoying sex is not a good indicator of unfaithfulness.

[–]Dsilkotch -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I disagree. Everyone I've known who had the "sex is no big deal, get over it" philosophy, saw no particular reason to be faithful to their partners if they found themselves attracted to someone else. After all...sex is no big deal, right? Get over it.

[–]_Toranaga_ 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sex is as big a deal as you make it. If you and/or your partner think it's a big deal, then it's a big deal. Cheating is always a big deal, but it depends on the nature of the relationship on what the definition of cheating is. As long as everyone involved is cool with the situation, then it's all good.

[–]Dsilkotch 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I agree. If only promiscuous people were always honest about their intentions to sleep around while in relationships.

Also, have you ever noticed how most people who sleep around while in relationships usually keep their clueless partners on the shortest leash possible, to ensure that the sleeping around doesn't go both ways?

[–]Jofat 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A promiscuous woman will have a larger chance of cheating.

I'm not so sure. That may be true, but I also wouldn't be surprised if you looked at the data and found a fairly uniform rate of spousal cheating amongst women with different levels of sexual activity before marriage.

I would posit that unfaithfulness in relationships is more likely to be influenced by other factors than level of sex drive.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]BreakerGandalf 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well you already assume that she has cheated, which kind of defeats the point. Anyone that has cheated before is more likely to do it again ( I would think at least, no source). I don't think that only because anyone likes sex, they automatically are more likely to cheat. Or do you think that men are more likely to cheat than women? If yes then please show us a source, if not then that would be pretty sexist I think.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The real problem here is calling women sluts just because they're sexually open but... I guess that will do as well.

Slut = good now.

[–]Judge_Of_Things 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I rule in favor of this.

[–]Cyric 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just like porch monkey, we're taking it back!

[–]DoucheAsaurus_ 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"No no, it's ok. We're taking it back."

[–]Chocolaty_Shatner 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sluts make the world go round

[–]Wubby211 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

God bless them.

[–]Neebat 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know about going round, but certainly up and down.

[–]Clovepurple 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's kind of a stupid word when it is is used to be cruel, I say we start calling them the anti prudes

[–]nickrulz11 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I agree. Without sluts, I would still be a virgin and would not know the amazing-ness that is the 'fuck buddy'.

[–]lakerswiz 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I prefer we use 'whore' in place of the 'slut'.

I really would prefer we all pronounce 'whore' in the same manner that Danny DeVito does on It's Always Sunny.

[–]uneekfreek 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No! That's a good stigma. Makes the sex that much more...better.

[–]jusblazd 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sluts make the world go round.

[–]Titties 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Every one of my girlfriends has been a slut. :)

[–]ultraoptms 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey slut!

[–]Strutham 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not a slut. Wish I was, but alas...

[–]badsex 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ok.

[–]blacktrance 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I oppose promiscuity.

[–]hopeidontrunoutofspa 158 points159 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

'What I like to do during a storm is shag my girlfriend and pretend that we’re taking part in the conception of the Antichrist.' - Frankie Boyle

[–]RahvinDragand 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The best comedians always have a "Controversy" section on their Wikipedia page. Frankie's Controversy section is 6 paragraphs long.

[–]420Warrior 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frankie_Boyle no typing in the address bar required

[–]gesucazzo 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He sounds like a prick, imo. Making fun of mentally-challenged people is low. Just look at all the comedians who were so hip to make fun of George Bush Jr. You know, that little guy was just trying his heart out.

[–]Kaghuros 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There's a reason we have the Special Olympics. If he had stayed out of politics maybe we'd be lighter on the man for his 40-year developmental delay.

[–]deadgreystar 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah Frankie Boyle. I'm so glad when I saw him on his last tour I was towards the back because a guy up the front got destroyed by one-liners.

[–]nived90 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I used to work at a gas station and every day an old fella used to come in and say "nice night to curl up with a piece of tail and a bottle of rum" than get 20$ of regular

[–]thethiefstheme 78 points79 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

At first I was like 'whoa.. easy there'. But the more I think about it, the more I can relate.

[–]DoucheAsaurus_ 101 points102 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Married guy here. I miss sluts. Going ass to mouth with your wife is not allowed.

[–]criticalsection 39 points40 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In all honesty, what is the appeal of ass to mouth? Please someone explain this to me.

Yes I know what it is.

[–]stufff 39 points40 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Degrading the woman for your sexual gratification

[–]Titties 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Bleh. Not my thing. I'll toss a chick's salad, though.

[–]Gareth321 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ass to mouth goes both ways. Why did you automatically assume this was degrading for women?

[–]stufff 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ass to mouth goes both ways

What? No it doesn't. It can't. Unless we're talking two gay dudes, I guess, but I can't qualify as an expert on gay sex or gay porn so I can't offer an opinion.

I mean, I guess you could have a woman with a strap-on pegging her male partner and then going AtM, but once again, it's beyond my field of expertise.

[–]Arrowofdarkness 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I prefer Bass to mouth

[–]JoseFernandes -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because it feels fuckin awesome.

[–]youvebeentomahawked 25 points26 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What about bass to mouth?

[–]I_want_some_taquitos 36 points37 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

what about ass to trout?

[–]shoziku 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm already on queen to whale, since yesterday I believe.

[–]jeremyfirth 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't...understand...the...appeal...

[–]wade_station 56 points57 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You need to upgrade your wife

[–]GAFMisat0 29 points30 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How do you do that without costing half your paycheck?

[–]brinkofjon 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

First Call Saul™. Have him walk you through how to move your money to a cayman islands account. Get him to find a dentist or orthodontist you can trust. Then steal a fresh corpse from the morgue at your local hospital. Preferably the same sex, age and height if available. Then get the dentist to take a mold of your teeth and file the corpse's teeth to match.

Drive the car, with the corpse inside off an embankment. Make sure the car is set on fire either when it hits the bottom or do it yourself. Have Saul set you up with a new set of documents with a new name. If you're staying in the states, be sure to setup a nevada based LLC to launder the money back through from the cayman islands account.

Voila! You're done.

[–]Hebes 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, wife updates are expensive these days. They just don't make 'em like they used to...

[–]spik31 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wife updates cost almost as much as apples updates...

[–]nuclear_cheese 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You pay for software patches that still don't fix any problems.

[–]Hebes 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Those damn iWives...

[–]shoziku 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and the restocking fee is TOTALLY not worth it!

Edit: (so don't try and return one, even if you have a receipt.)

[–]mydyingbrain 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Planned obsolescence, what a bitch.

[–]Fyreswing 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hahahahahahaha just pay her

[–]Spammish 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Praxis points.

[–]Dick_Delicious 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Samesies.

[–]quincebolis 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I thought that was the whole point of getting married?

[–]echeese 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass to mouth.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]sweetmonkeybush 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know man; I did his wife in the ass - it wasn't that hard. But I can confirm, no ATM.

[–]TacoSundae69 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sluts are boring. All the cool guys are railing slampigs now.

[–]WatchYourTone 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

One million "thank you"s to you.

[–]quincebolis 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and being a complete creep...did this happen in Ireland? cause that's what the weather is like right now :/

[–]Dongface[S] 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It did.

[–]quincebolis 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I am proud

[–]warchamp7 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was impressive

[–]quincebolis 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Its really, really, really wet out today. The county council has declared a state of emergency.

[–]zeroes0 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Don't know if wet outside or referencing sluts?

[–]ACommentFromBelow 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Its really, really, really wet out today.

LMQTFY

[–]Magnum40oz 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah. Sluts.

[–]perfektstranger 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Mmm....yeah.

[–]seweroutlet 78 points79 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reddit, the new highschool hangout.

[–]IDriveAVan 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's like The Max, except with a lot more Screech and a lot less Kelly.

[–]WatchYourTone 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nope, just a shitload of Jessies.

[–]owl_exterminator 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Definitely enough caffeine around to justify that statement.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'M SO EXCITED!!

[–]albino_wino 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You guys hittin' up The Peach Pit after school??

[–]iaman00b 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Broddit, the new broschool hug-it-out.

[–]iwant2see 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And people thought it would get better once school started for high schoolers. It's just as bad, of not worse, as it was in the summer.

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pro Tip: Calling girls that have sex with you sluts on fb will make the rest of the girls on your friends list find you unnattractive.

[–]Offensive_Brute 24 points25 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i dunno about that. Yesterday I posted some pretty sexist shit, and everyone who "liked" it, had a vagina. Theres always the kinky chicks that get off on the idea of being dirty girls.

[–]deadboyfriend 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What'd you say?

[–]JiForce 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"If I were to take a girl on a date, I'd pick her up at 7:30 and introduce myself politely to her parents, after which I would take her to dinner and be a perfect gentleman and treat her like a queen, before maybe seeing a movie (with appropriate content) and taking a walk around the lake with her, and finally having her home by curfew at 11 and kissing her goodnight- politely, but with just the right amount of emotion so that it is not overbearing or, on the flip side, cold."

Kinky shit.

[–]kael13 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I read all of that waiting for the punch line that never came.

Also, in before ejaculation comment.(sorry)

[–]JiForce 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If it makes you feel better, he didn't get to come that night either.

[–]Trinexx56 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well fuck, now you've taken the fun out of it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You must not sleep with women who have a sense of humor. That or you just don't sleep with women.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pro tip: Assuming that all girls are over-sensitive to the point of being turned off by single word will make you seem like a whiny white knight.

[–]ZombieLobotomy 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pro tip: Assuming girls who don't like to be called sluts are over-sensitive will make you seem like kind of like douchejuice.

[–]lift_or_die 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is Reddit. Don't expect anything less than the whitest of knights.

[–]Titties 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm a black knight with rusty armor and a lame horse.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Tis but a flesh wound.

[–]Jakylpops 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

01069344...the number of times this guy has been sent to the "friend zone"

[–]SarahPalinisaMuslim 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The 0 is for future instances. Like an odometer.

[–]RandoAtReddit 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dalek love.

[–]123fakerusty 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"I just got that good old-fashioned feeling where I would do anything to bone her"

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

By "slut" you mean "right hand"

[–]sex_with_orcas 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

depends if you're scared of real life sluts or not.

[–]legion_of_dumb 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Definitely no ass to mouth using this method.ಠ_ಠ

[–]Loreinatoredor 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You must mean bass to trout.

[–]sex_with_orcas 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Did I say ass to trout? I meant bass to mouth.

[–]owl_exterminator 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, unlike you, I'm scared of real life sluts that are 6 tons and eat whales, seals and sea lions.

[–]moose_man 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

VANQUISH her

[–]neophyte38 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The use of the phrase "slut" in FB post isn't that as offensive as the use of the word "destroy" in that phrase. Why have we turned to violent metaphors to describe having fun with the ladyfolk? Turns me off. Personally, I appreciate a woman who wants to get it on, and even if we're banging like two animals I think there is better and more appreciative language to describe it.

[–]SickZX6R 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"I murder so much pussy I'm wanted for vagicide."

[–]aeiuo 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"I'm going to perform jihad on your vagina."

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

im a female, and i think u need to lighten up

[–]zeroes0 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm a male and why aren't you getting destroyed? pref. in the kitchen...too much?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

been there, done that.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

loser.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'd make fun of you for posting in r/beatingwomen, but your posts in r/bitcoin are far more shameful.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've posted in r/bitcoin? Interesting.

Who gives a fuck what you think anyway.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh, so you don't actually use bitcoins. You were just bragging about your skills as a "pick-up artist", lol.

Can you tell me about the time you negged that ten at the bar?

[–]quincebolis 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's an irish expression, trust me it sounds much better with the right accent

[–]kakeman987 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I let out a single chuckle.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

in honor of submitter's singleness?

[–]derSchmiddi 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]R4ndom_Stuff 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I actually tried to press the like button.

[–]FullyInsured 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"As a poet might have said, she was the kind of woman you just wanted to have sex with over and over again."

[–]saminator8 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fuckin autocorrect, right?

[–]PLJNS 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No! That would be awful. Sluts, fucking sluts - not autocorrect.

[–]zerozero114 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Unexpected? That sounds about right if you ask me.

[–]auraslip 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know if you can see this, but I'm doing it as hard as I can. upvote

[–]PabbleDabble 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

First ATHF reference I've seen on Reddit. Thank you for this.

[–]johnkong 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm surprised, to be honest.

[–]GloomySunday -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The guy probably refers all women who are sexually active as sluts.

[–]PLJNS 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, pretty sad if you ask me. I'm not one to do the standard trumpeting about double standards and glass ceilings, but the unfairness of this attitude is overwhelming. Though I will pay no mind! I enjoy my sex life and allow others that same right, and so far that's working well for me. When I encounter this sentiment, however, I make sure to express how I feel about it.

How do some men not understand that if women feel like sex is for "sluts", they won't do it as much and by corollary are less likely to fuck you. Sex is a strange thing when juxtaposed with our modern world, as it is a relic of our animal past. Having a large frontal lobe along with the same basic sex function as rabbits and foxes allows for a range of experience much deeper, much more simple than most of our higher order functions.

[–]johnkong 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't think slut has AS MUCH as a negative connotation as it used to if that helps.

[–]PLJNS 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think you're right! There are various social movements and literature to show it! Like SlutWalk, for instance, or The Ethical Slut.

The times, they are a'changing. Interesting to watch :)

[–]kazorek -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think once you're an adult it's used mostly as a generic insult and has relatively little to do with how many men a woman has actually slept with. Of course there are exceptions, some people still consider it scandalous - but no one likes them anyways.

[–]debaser11 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Men always seem to get the blame for the use of the word slut but I hear girls use it about other girls just as much.

[–]eekthebat 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, that's pretty much the general consensus on Reddit.

[–]stormchaser -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You probably examine everything you see, hear, or read for signs of prejudice, and thus have no friends.

[–]GloomySunday 3 points4 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You probably never examine yourself for everything you say or write for signs of prejudice, and thus have friends exactly like you.

[–]Thementalrapist 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Breathtaking, so simple yet moving, gave me butterflies.

[–]bennybot44 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

we all feel that way!

[–]zeroes0 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Obama promises sluts in every home, socialized penis care! Vote repub...wait nm...vote Kenyan!

[–]bobgiaco 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah, yes. Quite. And with a good glass of cognac, to boot.

[–]uncoyled 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I almost lost it in class when i saw this!

[–]FrustratedLust 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Chivalrous romantic.

[–]queenweasley 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Win.

[–]YetAnotherTroper 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah yes, the Subversion, more specifically Bait and Switch.

(Oh no, tropes,* etcetcetc.*)

[–]skippy619 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Everyone knows that sluts love guys who have heating.

[–]DOCTORCOWMAN 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

'Tis the Season

[–]vibrate 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

In this thread: Redditors pretend they get laid.

[–]lookintomyeyestosee -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Did the jackass crash into the tv?

[–]the_nytman -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

and it damn well better be in that order

[–]NCchance -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

...again.

[–]GOU_NoMoreMrNiceGuy -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ahhhh slut destroying... cunt catastrophizing... just making a smoking ruins of her loins....

nothing says christmas quite like it....

[–]ObjectionYourHonor -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

holy shit I started laughing something nasty

[–]faxillus -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wish i had a slut to destroy :(