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top 200 commentsshow all 277

[–]katiebee11 138 points139 points ago

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More about this cat

It got out just fine. "The playful female kitten started squeezing itself into jars from when it was a few weeks old."

[–]bfg_foo 101 points102 points ago

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The second picture in that article leads me to the conclusion that the cat may actually be retarded.

[–]necction 29 points30 points ago

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It looks like a cat me gusta face.

[–]HelloPanda22 5 points6 points ago

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I think the cat may have Down Syndrome judging by that picture.

[–]MichinoriItou 7 points8 points ago

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Is it dead or not? The article keeps switching between past and present tense when talking about the cat..

[–]ndt 77 points78 points ago

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Both until you looked into the jar.

[–]MichinoriItou 20 points21 points ago

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slow clap

[–]barocco 6 points7 points ago

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Does that mean we don't know where you are clapping?

[–]Brillians[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Cat's owner is Schrodinger.

[–]IRLpuddles 0 points1 point ago

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Schrodinger's cat?

[–]Rosc87 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Adan714 0 points1 point ago

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on jar: "КИЗИЛОВЫЙ" means "dogberry-tree"

[–]Warlizard 313 points314 points ago

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Dick in a box, pussy in a jar.

Makes sense.

[–]jman377355 19 points20 points ago

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Congratulations Warlizard, It finally seems to be completely dead.

[–]Warlizard 5 points6 points ago

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Look again... :(

[–]jman377355 4 points5 points ago

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Hope I didn't remind them. If so my bad.

[–]Warlizard 1 point2 points ago

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Nothing to be done.

[–]mcoree 0 points1 point ago

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[–]mahtehthew -1 points0 points ago

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Sigh... Dead? Nope. Chuck testa.

[–]jman377355 0 points1 point ago

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You just had to go there, didn't you.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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actually if you look closely that jar used to have cok in it.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]Pravusmentis 13 points14 points ago

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They are gifts man, for gifting, that's why they are in parcels

[–]joebillybob 2 points3 points ago

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Look at the label on the jar.

It's pussy in a cok.

[–]cizpre 16 points17 points ago

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Aren't you that guy from the Warlizard forums?

[–]pro7 5 points6 points ago

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Everytime I see forums with names like that I immediately assume it's a CP thing.

[–]Unfa 1 point2 points ago

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Warlizard is a game from the reddit forums.

[–]noPENGSinALASKA 1 point2 points ago

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No he's the best-selling author. Check out r/warlizard

[–]RogerDerpstein 0 points1 point ago

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I heard he fucked a goat!

[–]Sam0161 9 points10 points ago

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Step one!

[–]RockShowa 24 points25 points ago

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Instead of ass say buns!

[–]SkippyRodriguez 13 points14 points ago

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Like "Kiss my buns"!

[–]pat_sf 10 points11 points ago

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or "you're a buns hole"!

[–]Glucksberg 2 points3 points ago

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Step two!

[–]soupsandwitch 1 point2 points ago

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Instead of shit say poo!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Like bull-poo, poo-head!

[–]OilGuy13 1 point2 points ago

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and this poo is cold!

[–]cyberphonic 1 point2 points ago

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ups for best alt headline

[–]dakkeh 1 point2 points ago

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It's called a fleshlight.

[–]thastoner 1 point2 points ago

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needs a song

[–]-o0o- 0 points1 point ago

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I somehow achieved a boner here.

[–]Fellows23 55 points56 points ago

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I feel there's a terrible Fleshlight joke to be made here...

[–]CircumcisedSpine 31 points32 points ago

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Insanity Wolf's homemade fleshlight.... Before he added the hot sauce.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]Drakepenn 6 points7 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]BurningLed 1 point2 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]alexanderpas 31 points32 points ago

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don't stick your dick in crazy pussy jar...

close enough.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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No number for Jakucha.

[–]WillBlaze 2 points3 points ago

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This makes no sense to me, what is Jakucha?

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 2 points3 points ago

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This makes no sense to me, what is Jakucha?

Sounds like someone isn't spending every last waking moment on reddit, tsk tsk,

[–]TheWeirdestThing 0 points1 point ago

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[–]StarMagnus 3 points4 points ago

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I feel there's an even more terrible 1 man 1 jar joke there.

[–]Lunarmirror 80 points81 points ago

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[–]Vole85 30 points31 points ago

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I had no idea that was fake ಠ_ಠ

[–]StickFigureNinja 10 points11 points ago

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Everything on the internet is either fake or photoshopped.

[–]smith7018 18 points19 points ago

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Including this comment.

[–]rhythmguy 18 points19 points ago

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I can tell by the pixels.

[–]Land_Barrell 2 points3 points ago

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"My dick..."

[–]flume 2 points3 points ago*

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"My dick..."? (NSFW audio)

[–]Land_Barrell 1 point2 points ago

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I hate when these don't work on mobile

[–]fewdea 4 points5 points ago

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fake.

[–]nerdsonarope 0 points1 point ago

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I have long-maintained that cats are some kind of internet hoax - and now i have proof.

[–]Daemon_of_Mail 6 points7 points ago

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TIL there are still people who think Bonsai Kitten was real.

[–]Vole85 0 points1 point ago

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I might have been the last one...

[–]Drakepenn 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ I couldn't believe it either.

[–]shoes_of_mackerel 6 points7 points ago

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I heard stories that it was investigated by the FBI in the early 2000s. Don't know if there's any truth in that.

[–]lord_of_karma 12 points13 points ago

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On October 30, 2000, BonsaiKitten.com was a focal "Cruel Site of the Day" on the website Cruel.com. When this attracted complaints, Cruel.com removed its links to BonsaiKitten.com.

Wow. You know you've really found a new plateau of offensive when.

[–]CockCuntPussyPenis 8 points9 points ago

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when.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]superAL1394 1 point2 points ago

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This may be worse than an open paren with no close paren.

[–]flume 0 points1 point ago

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What? (I honestly don't know what "paren" means.

[–]superAL1394 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]MidnightWombat 0 points1 point ago

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(ಠ_ಠ)

[–]Alexiares 0 points1 point ago

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parenthesis

[–]self_yelp 0 points1 point ago

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That's just bad parenting.

[–]Schadenfreudian_slip 4 points5 points ago

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Yes, it was true. I know the guy who ran the site, and for a while he kept his FBI subpoena in a frame on the wall.

[–]shoes_of_mackerel 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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It was made by a university student going by the alias of Dr. Michael Wong Chang.

Oh god, I spit water all over my keyboard

[–]JaymesJB 14 points15 points ago

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Everybody Wong Chang tonight.

[–]superAL1394 9 points10 points ago

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I don't get it...

[–]traek 6 points7 points ago

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I don't get it, can somebody please explain this[?](http:// "either an explanation or downvotes are fine, but an explanation is preferable.")

[–]dnew 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Crabalicious -1 points0 points ago

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Me either. I saw a post on here the other day with pictures of a kitten being put in a jar, and it made me fucking sick.

Delighted to learn it's not real, although I don't suppose that means it doesn't happen.

[–]lediablerouge 8 points9 points ago

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If you read through the site it's pretty obvious it's a joke. I'm kind of depressed that people thought this was real..

[–]Hipstershy 6 points7 points ago

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At only a few weeks of age, a kitten's bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce!

I feel bad for laughing at that part.

[–]Volopok 2 points3 points ago

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Think about how that would work, the pictures show there faces in ways that wouldn't allow them to be fed, and it really wouldn't accomplish anything. Doesn't happen, it's just fake.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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ctrl+f search for bonsai kitten...was not disappointed.

[–]Sophiru 0 points1 point ago

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Oh bonsai kittens... Just had to look, and found this instead: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Square_watermelon.jpg

They are real they are real they are real MINECRAAAAAAFT!

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago*

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Meanwhile in Russia...

No, really, this image is probably from Russia. The writing on the container says cherry juice in Russian.

EDIT: My limited Russian language skills (can speak very little with family) have failed me, I tend to confuse certain fruits with one another (cranberry, and cornelian cherry in this case) as well as certain days of the week. This was one of those times.

[–]wcstcomic 4 points5 points ago

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Picture definitely looks like cranberries, but that is not the word for cranberry that I know of. Odd.

[–]kakapoid 6 points7 points ago

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It's dogberries (Cornus aka dogwood tree).

[–]wcstcomic 0 points1 point ago

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Well there you have it. Mystery solved.

[–]KimJongIlSunglasses 2 points3 points ago

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/:€ <Myth Busted!

[–]votsan 2 points3 points ago

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That's because it's not cranberries, it's "кизил", which I believe translates into dogwood berries.

[–]WhiteHattedRaven 0 points1 point ago

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[–]sqfreak 0 points1 point ago

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The container looks like it says "кизиловый сок." "Кизиловый" is the adjectival form of "кизил," and the word "кизил" is not one that I know. I looked it up in Multitran, my favorite online Russian-English dictionary, which translates the word to "cornel," which I still don't know, but Wikipedia says it's what we would call a "Cornelian Cherry" in America.

So, I'm going to go with this being Cherry juice.

[–]teadrinker 1 point2 points ago

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It does not taste anything like cherry juice. It has a lot more notes of cranberry than it does of cherry.

Another set of berries that are somewhat common in Russia, but are unknown almost everywhere is the edible honeysuckle or honeyberry. Makes for a very good jam too.

[–]malibu_stacey 2 points3 points ago

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Russia has the hottest cats at the moment. Why just yesterday: http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/ll2o3/only_in_russia_the_cat_like_a_boss/

[–]99ovr 1 point2 points ago

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Now I worry for the cat's well-being...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]notz 22 points23 points ago

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By closing photoshop.

[–]elegylegacy 12 points13 points ago

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[–]notz 0 points1 point ago

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Well I'll be damned.

[–]repoman 2 points3 points ago

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I'm imagining its tail as being akin to a tampon string...

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]buntH0LE 22 points23 points ago

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this kills the cat

[–]Mel___Gibson 0 points1 point ago

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Like hookers, cats are cheap.

[–]cyberphonic 5 points6 points ago

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last I checked this was still the first couple of books of the bible and they were working on an audio book. Thanks for reminding me of this. ordered.

original wiki

[–]nerfdude 0 points1 point ago

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this kills the meme.

well, desecrates its corpse, anyway.

[–]nexus14 25 points26 points ago

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This kills the cat

[–]TintinsSoftCock 0 points1 point ago

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This meme is overused and boring. You are like the guy who gets a laugh so he keeps repeating the joke over and over.

[–]Curtis95 4 points5 points ago

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No one ever feels bad for the jar.

[–]nekowolf 5 points6 points ago

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[–]somanypuns 5 points6 points ago

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I really wonder how the cat got out

[–]Internaut_Joe 6 points7 points ago

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I kind of want to know how it got in.

[–]KevyB 4 points5 points ago

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Most cats are actually pretty damn thin, its the fur that makes most of them look fattish and unable to fit into tight spaces.

And since this one is probably young aswell, not really a problem.

[–]i_love_tits 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah the legs pop right off.

[–]KevyB 0 points1 point ago

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Its a russian cat dude, obviously it can transform

[–]makattak88 2 points3 points ago

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Tight pussy!

[–]depressed_depressor 2 points3 points ago

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You kept that jar so long, that the mold developed a face.

[–]vapros 3 points4 points ago

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If it fits I sits!

[–]smellyeggs[!] 6 points7 points ago

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Older than the internet ಠ_ಠ

[–]noumuon 0 points1 point ago

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er, no?

[–]bigmeatypaws 4 points5 points ago

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I hate it when that happens.

[–]GrossPig 1 point2 points ago

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That's not the proper way to pickle a cat...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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This is the 2nd time in two days at least two different links with the same title have reached the front page.

[–]SamWilber 1 point2 points ago

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This gives me the most claustrophobic feeling..

[–]zombiebunnie 1 point2 points ago

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Is it just me, or does that cat have permanent me gusta face?

[–]fugmunky 1 point2 points ago

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In Soviet Russia, pussy get stuffed in Cok?

[–]a_major_award 1 point2 points ago

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nice cok jar

[–]MEANMUTHAFUKA 1 point2 points ago

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This gave me horrible, horrible claustrophobia just looking at it. Then my Ailurophobia started kicking in. Now I'm going to have to go curl up in a fetal position and sob for a couple hours. Thanks a lot OP!

[–]Pravusmentis 3 points4 points ago

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I didn't know Bonzi-cats were still around..

[–]ricktycricket 3 points4 points ago

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In soviet Russia, pussy goes inside COK.

Just in case you don't get it, look closely at the jar.

[–]sebnoggle64 2 points3 points ago

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Does it say cok on the jar?

[–]Djdp24 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah this is the first picture I've seen of a pussy in a cok

[–]GotAStewGoin 1 point2 points ago

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Сок, pronounced kind of like "soak," but with a rounder "o" - means juice in Russian and probably some other slavic languages.

[–]SYBR_Green 8 points9 points ago

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Mmm... Cat juice

[–]SkudMissile 1 point2 points ago

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Pussy Juice. Har Har

[–]dyszka4u 0 points1 point ago

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it's pronounced like "sawk"

[–]GotAStewGoin 0 points1 point ago

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It's hard to tell what exactly how you want me to pronounce "sawk," but if it's like "sock," which was my first instinct, then that is incorrect.

The distinction is close, but since it is a stressed syllable, the o is not devoiced, so it is very definitely a long "o"

Here's a recording

[–]kotleopold 1 point2 points ago

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Funnily, the label says "Dogberry juice" in Russian

[–]mapkinase 0 points1 point ago

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Nice catch. I had no idea "kizil" is translated as dogberry...

[–]1FLU 1 point2 points ago

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was anyone else expecting a lottery ticket?

[–]Aged_bacon 1 point2 points ago

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The label say cok. It's a pussy in a cok.

[–]real_nice_guy 0 points1 point ago

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[–]TannerJames 0 points1 point ago

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I'm pretty sure people are just stuffing cats into jars nowadays for the upvotes

[–]Retsoka 0 points1 point ago

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Bonsai kitten is back!

[–]NAT0strike 0 points1 point ago

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Kitty in a jar is way better than a ship in a bottle.

[–]Xyon81 0 points1 point ago

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Does the label say cok?

[–]huntnm 0 points1 point ago

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you musta gotten a bad batch

[–]Scarecrow237 0 points1 point ago

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Every time I see a photo like this, I miss the BonsaiKitten.com website, and the controversy it caused.

[–]uncited_source 0 points1 point ago

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That is a Peruvian House Cat. They love to crawl into tight tunnels. In their natural habitat, they live in tunnels. They are the only feline to do so.

[–]im_not_a_troll 0 points1 point ago

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Bonsai Kitten

[–]Ackyroth 0 points1 point ago

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Someone's in a pickle...jar.

[–]theREALhacman 0 points1 point ago

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i think the cok goes in the pussy, not the other way around

[–]Oxxide 0 points1 point ago

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This is one picture I don't mind seeing reposted, it always makes me laugh haha.

[–]chakan2 0 points1 point ago

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That's the first time I've seen pussy stuck in a Cok.

[–]schroefoe 0 points1 point ago

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I'm pretty sure if I had known this word when I was 7, this picture would accurately convey my feelings/look when I got stuck in the jungle gym at my father's church. The terror of that cat's eyes exactly portrays what mine were like, knowing my father, a staunch Methodist, would be back any second and see me wedged in a hole with my dress ruched up over my butt as I tried in vain to find a goddamn way out because I was too big to go forward and couldn't get my shoulders back out through the hole. Pure...utter...terror.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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It means juice in Russian. It is probounced "Soak".

[–]TePalis 0 points1 point ago

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thats some heavy shit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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But... that's... I.... you... err... -head explodes-

[–]onetoothree 0 points1 point ago

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DIY bonsai kitten?

[–]SarahKSilverman 0 points1 point ago

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Did he die?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Correction - died

[–]SarahKSilverman 0 points1 point ago

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Dieded.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Indeed sweet princess. I luv u.

[–]Mythrayn 0 points1 point ago

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Your pussy got stuck in cok.

[–]Guesty_ 0 points1 point ago

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AAHHAHAHAHHAHAAA LMFAO

[–]GibsonJunkie 0 points1 point ago

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Only in Russia...

[–]bobcat_08 0 points1 point ago

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Serious question: how do you get the cat out?

[–]Punkgoblin 0 points1 point ago

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The weird part, is that it was originally a jar of "cok".

[–]HibbityGibbity 0 points1 point ago

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I hate it when my apple juice glares at me.

[–]fecal_matters 0 points1 point ago

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I'M TRAPPED IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!!

[–]throw_away_me 0 points1 point ago

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I clicked on this link 3 times and each consecutive time i was like crap not again

[–]thunderpantaloons 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god... How did that cat get human eyeballs?

[–]thunderpantaloons 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god... How did that cat get human eyeballs?

[–]thunderpantaloons 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god... How did that cat get human eyeballs?

[–]elephantzebra 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone else notice that the brand on the jar is 'Cok'...pussy in a 'cock', all kinds of wrong.

[–]newport100 0 points1 point ago

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That is one Brian Peppers looking cat.

[–]moonchild1093 0 points1 point ago

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peed my pants. showed it to roomate; she peed her pants. she showed it to her friend on skype, who peed her pants.

[–]wumfi 0 points1 point ago

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Oh the smell... :-/

[–]lnvid 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Dyrty 0 points1 point ago

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that's it. i'm only posting reposts to make the front page. i can't take it anymore. i'm a broken man and i give up.

[–]tomasgdvl 1 point2 points ago

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Me Gusta eyes

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Fishfisherton 20 points21 points ago

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Cats will try to get into small spaces, it's not like someone took a jar and started stuffing their cat into it.

[–]Yourmyfavoritedeputy 0 points1 point ago

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But that image is pretty funny

[–]BodePlot 2 points3 points ago

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[–]SmartAssX 4 points5 points ago

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Im sure the cat wasnt forced in to the jar

[–]Jonnx 0 points1 point ago

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Rather "STUCK"

[–]hansenmark 0 points1 point ago

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bonsaikitten?

[–]Atmozfears 0 points1 point ago

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The key to the front page? Put the word "Fuck" in the title.

[–]Radioshark 0 points1 point ago

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brings me back to the days of Banzai Kittens.

[–]NFresh6 0 points1 point ago

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Repost much?

[–]schoolairplane 1 point2 points ago

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The only thing more annoying than a repost is someone complaining about a repost.

[–]greenways 0 points1 point ago

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At first whatever it was it felt NSFW, then once my brain processed it, it became NSFL! That poor kitty.

[–]godsdog23 0 points1 point ago

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This is the 'Me Gusta' Cat!

[–]rwohlhueter -1 points0 points ago

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puss in boots? more like puss in jar! AMIRIGHT?

[–]NotAlways -1 points0 points ago

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I saw this on /b/ a month ago