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all 160 comments

[–]ObliviousToSarcasm 77 points78 points ago

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http://articles.latimes.com/2008/apr/18/local/me-smack18

Under the settlement, DeWitt agreed to be put in an 18-month diversion program, under which she will pay $1,500 in restitution costs, take 52 hours of anger management classes and participate in 100 hours of community service. A restraining order issued against DeWitt must be resolved in civil court with attorneys for Schaefer.

Seriously.

[–]mynameishutch 16 points17 points ago

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She had terrible lawyers, then.

[–]steve-d 22 points23 points ago

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That shouldn't matter. If I were the judge and saw that video, I would throw the case out.

[–]mynameishutch 12 points13 points ago

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Apparently logic doesn't seem to be a prerequisite for being a judge.

[–]doneandone 3 points4 points ago

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That or they like wasting money and time.

[–]bareju 2 points3 points ago

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There was a case in Seattle where a man was unlawfully held by police. The jury awarded him the minimum of $1; the city of Seattle paid $1,000,000 in legal fees.

[–]doneandone 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder how much money was wasted on this case..

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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$1,000,001

[–]doneandone 40 points41 points ago

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it is shit like that..that makes me loose faith in the justice system...

[–]stacecom 23 points24 points ago

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Not picking on you, just trying to help. The word you want is "lose". "Loose" is something else entirely.

[–]doneandone 12 points13 points ago

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It is cool, thanks. I honestly know the difference ("lose something"/"loose change")..I just seem to brain fart from time to time when typing. But either way, Thank you, I wish others who corrected grammar or spelling were as polite and well mannered.

[–]stacecom 4 points5 points ago

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Sure thing. I try to be nice whenever I do this, since being a jerk about it isn't going to accomplish anything. Lose/loose is one of my peeves, so I like to help people get it right. :)

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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Get a room

[–]elartax 2 points3 points ago

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e.g you mom is loose

[–]letsRACEturtles 3 points4 points ago

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meh, i think they were establishing a good precedent about not hitting people. at all. especially out of anger, in a COURTROOM. if it had been in a Topeka tollboth, half past 1AM on a foggy night, repurcussions would not have been had. that said, that sentencing was retarded

[–]doneandone 14 points15 points ago

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I think your wrong..because now it is rewarding the behavior of the woman who faked an injury. Which will and probly has encouraged others to do the same.

If I was the judge I would have told the old lady to go fuck herself and the one that hit her to stop being retarded. A good slap on the wrist for both would have been fine...but the judgement that that woman got was moronic at best.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not so sure. You would expect people of their status (a mayor, of all people) to be more professional. You don't disrespect a judge in their court room. You don't treat someone you're pissed at like a bitch in front of a judge... in their court room. If I had to guess I might imagine it as an intimidation technique -- they got done arguing and wanted to show off. They deserved what they got. You don't walk in to someone else's house and start picking fights.

All that being said -- she blew it out of proportion and that should also have its side of charges. Both people deserve to be slapped with a large trout.

[–]doneandone 0 points1 point ago

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That was my point exactly. I believe they were both in the wrong and both deserved to be reprimanded for their actions. In my opinion Both women were stupid.

[–]pranksterturtle -4 points-3 points ago

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It was battery. You don't just get to hit people in public (...in a courthouse, while being filmed) and have nothing happen.

[–]doneandone 13 points14 points ago

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battery?...seriously? I have SEEN battery and the man walk scott free. THIS is bullshit.

[–]Azzmo 10 points11 points ago

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No. No. I'm so fucking sick of this country.

[–]Ditario 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't incredible that you have the ability and sense of agency to even say that?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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There should have been some sort of condition. You have to pay all that but you at least get to give her a proper smack

[–]Lord_of_Womba 7 points8 points ago

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"I don't want to live here"

[–]sillybear25 16 points17 points ago

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That seems a rather light punishment for hitting someone hard enough to knock them out of their chair...

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]KevinMDaBess 3 points4 points ago

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You're a silly bear!

[–]kmreid 1 point2 points ago

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I guess she gets a freebie. Go back and kick her around a little. I mean, she is already being punished so she may as well get some enjoyment from it.

[–]d_rok 500 points501 points ago

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What soccer team does she play for?

[–]koakreeper 64 points65 points ago

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The New York Giants

[–]bareju 4 points5 points ago

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But... What...?

[–]J0nesy 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Qwuffl 98 points99 points ago

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Barcelona.

Actually, came here to make this exact joke, though i'm a very crazy football fan and am usually butthurt by stuff like this.

[–]Sergnb 22 points23 points ago

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It bothers me when people say soccer players are just ballerinas that fall whenever someone touches them.

Then Sergio Busquets does that exact same thing.

God I hate that guy so much

[–]ibpants 35 points36 points ago

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I think it may even be Sergio Busquets in a wig. Yellow Card!

[–]bogginharry 2 points3 points ago

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Busquets popped into my head before I even saw the comments.

[–]naroays 3 points4 points ago

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Or Andres iniesta in the penalty box against Sevilla (without a wig, cause he's bald)

Why the barca players dive, I don't understand. They are so good in every other aspect!

[–]Supercluster 1 point2 points ago

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They have been specially trained in the art of diving at a young age.

[–]letsRACEturtles 0 points1 point ago

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or John Edwards in the greenhouse with the rubber chicken?

[–]mkicon 2 points3 points ago

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Reddit: The place you go to realize you aren't as clever as you thought you were.

I came here to say "She's not being overly dramatic. She's just a former soccer star."

[–]ArchitectOfInception[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Same exact joke haha

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Truth hurts sometimes eh?

[–]JuJuMountainMan 23 points24 points ago*

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That's Cristiano Ronaldo's mother.

[–]miran1 3 points4 points ago

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AC Milan. This is Pippo Inzaghi you're seeing.

[–]sintralin 0 points1 point ago

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Geez, at first I thought this was some poor old man who was so shocked he fell out of his chair, while the security guard just looked at him. Got to the comments page and was thinking "why are they making fun of him?!"

But then I realized it was just some faker blond lady so it was all good.

[–]JAKRABT 0 points1 point ago

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[–]brave_lucas 0 points1 point ago

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CRAP! I just made the same joke. Damn it. Every time I think I'm witty reddit brings me back to reality. Sigh. I am an unoriginal blob on this Earth.

[–]people_are_animals -2 points-1 points ago

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Damn you..You were 2 hours a head of me. Well this settles it, never sleep so i can ALWAYS.BE.FIRST.

[–]asshatnowhere 116 points117 points ago

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[–]SometimesATroll 73 points74 points ago

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The noises make it at least twice as funny.

[–]Badong11 73 points74 points ago

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And the top comment "R2D2" makes it thrice as funny

[–]ThatsSciencetastic 23 points24 points ago

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[–]trofficus 7 points8 points ago

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ive just realised that i hate R2D2. thanks for that

[–]thumbsdown 8 points9 points ago

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(Because of the sound she makes? Or is it the way she rolls over?)

[–]Badong11 15 points16 points ago

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The sound _^

[–]ddddbbbb -2 points-1 points ago

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i didn't get that?

[–]ThatsSciencetastic 3 points4 points ago

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Rewatch the video and listen for her scream. Then if you still don't get it, watch the video I linked above.

[–]lordlicorice 34 points35 points ago

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Here's the real video, with audio:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5RDwnoIOvI

[–]tehsusenoh 23 points24 points ago

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In the first video, the papers hitting her on the head was like a... WACK, but in this version, it was more like a...tap.

[–]impulsivedryer 22 points23 points ago

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fox news

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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You do know that was just a local Fox affiliate, right? Their content and coverage, especially of local events, are in no way influenced or associated with the right-wing propaganda factory Fox News Channel.

[–]TenerenceLove 2 points3 points ago

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What? Did you say Fox? FOX NEWS IS EVIL!

[–]PrimusSucksOnThis 0 points1 point ago

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Yes indeed, sir. The shitty audio quality in the latter video has absolutely nothing to do with it. It must be Fox news brainwashing all of our children to rape cats and worship Satan.

[–]flyleaf2424 3 points4 points ago

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HIT HER RIGHT IN THE EYE!

[–]Smarts -1 points0 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]SoulTemerity 8 points9 points ago

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CHAOS IN CARSON!

[–]PrimusSucksOnThis 1 point2 points ago

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Chaos, said the captain.

[–]blightning65 44 points45 points ago

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I'm not an expert on these kind of things...but I think she's faking it.

[–]Xeeker 41 points42 points ago

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what?! haven't you seen how the other women almost obliterated her with that unbelievable blow to the head?! she's happy to be alive!

[–]DIDNT_GET_SARCASM 49 points50 points ago

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It was only a tap on the head....

[–]Not_Using_Sarcasm 24 points25 points ago

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You have the best novelty account EVAR!

[–]badluckartist 42 points43 points ago

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I'VE BEEN REND ASUNDER!!

[–]to_the_batmobile 9 points10 points ago

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Wtf she just hit me on the head, I'd sue her if I could. hmm I am in court. Quick hit the ground!

[–]Karmac 11 points12 points ago

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Hit the ground! Slowly!

[–]Incredible_Mandible 9 points10 points ago

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Gotta be careful not to hurt yourself while pretending to be hurt.

[–]LlsworthToohey 10 points11 points ago

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did.........did something just.........

OHHHHHHHHH GOOOOOOODDDDDD OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[–]aldeezy 6 points7 points ago

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TSSSSSSSSH... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... TSSSH... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...

[–]mrsmoonp13 16 points17 points ago

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I hate this gif cause it just makes me wanna punch her. She's the type person to get in a 1mph fender bender and get carried away by ambulance and charge up thousands of dollars of medical bills no one wants to pay.

Fuck you person....fuck you

[–]ian80 43 points44 points ago

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Bahaha...this is what happens in a world obsessed with greed and litigation.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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But but, trying to limit trials and put restraints on trial lawyers is a dirty GOP tactic to keep the poor down.

Amirite?

[–]flyingbuttressman 5 points6 points ago

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Something about babies and bathwater.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Good thing I don't like babies.

[–]SigmaDraconisIV 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck you, they're delicious.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Never said they weren't. I don't like them in the sense of they creep me out and annoy me. Eating one is a whole other story.

[–]wellgolly 1 point2 points ago

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Kinda unfair to judge the world based on one exceptionally greedy person, don't you think?

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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Totally fair to call out America's litigious society. The cunt in the video was thinking law$uit or some way to cash in on the incident when she did that, you can be sure of it. That, and a cheap tool to get back at the cunt who smacked her. All's fair in war in her mind.

[–]wellgolly 0 points1 point ago

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That's kinda my point though. This bitch is notably and unusually lawsuit-happy. If the world was really so bad, this kind of thing wouldn't be so shocking.

I live in Illinois, possibly the state with the worst lawsuit abuse problem. And yet, this seems memorably ridiculous.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I'd be surprised if California was not worse when it comes to gaming laws, insurance companies, and entitlement programs for $.

The over reacting lady can only be prosecuted if she first makes a claim and it's then later proved to be fraudulent.

The most a judge might be able to do is reprimand her for disrupting the court. She might have been pulling a soccer/basketball player routine. Grossly exaggerating what happened to call attention to it, and get the bitch who hit her in trouble with the judge.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Bahaha...this is what happens in a country obsessed with greed and litigation.

FTFY.

ninja-edit: The greed bit may be worldwide, but there is no other country like America in terms of litigation-boners.

[–]constructivebeing 20 points21 points ago

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Better late than never.

[–]Salamabam 18 points19 points ago

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Better Nate than Lever.

[–]Coggler 10 points11 points ago

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I told that horrible joke to a small group of friends. Now every time somebody tries to say "late than never," it comes out "Nate than lever," and everybody gets so ANGRY all over again over how treacherous that joke was.

It. Is. Amazing.

[–]Salamabam 0 points1 point ago

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Haha that's great. I've yet the opportunity to tell it but my day will come..

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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But never late is better.

[–]regularfreakinguser 4 points5 points ago

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I've never heard this before, but I plan on using it from now on.

[–]ballzach 0 points1 point ago

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I would too, but I am usually the one that is late.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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You can thank drizzy drake for that one lol

[–]regularfreakinguser 2 points3 points ago

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I have nothing against drake. But I find it very hard to believe that out of all the people he was the first to say that. ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago*

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I assume he wasn't but that's where I heard it.

[–]regularfreakinguser 4 points5 points ago

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Well, whatever. Its sunday

[–]marathi_mulga 0 points1 point ago

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Better Ate the Beaver

[–]RebelTactics 6 points7 points ago

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That should get her about 3 free throws. She must be a Lakers fan.

[–]fritzwilliam-grant -1 points0 points ago

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Nah, most certainly she admires the acting performances of the Heat.

[–]guyguy23 6 points7 points ago

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Time to sue sue sue!!!!!!!!

[–]Lemmings19 2 points3 points ago

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I hate these people. And the very American way of thinking that is: How can I sue you over nothing?

[–]blitz79 11 points12 points ago

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FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD:

[–]BrotherSeamus 15 points16 points ago

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That's one fucked up emoticon.

[–]HonorInDefeat 1 point2 points ago

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Guard: 0_o

[–]telepip 1 point2 points ago

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"I am vanquished!"

[–]ExplainEverything 1 point2 points ago

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TruTV disorder in the court.

[–]reddevils 1 point2 points ago

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Ronaldo's mother

[–]doneandone 1 point2 points ago

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Probly tried to sue her as well.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]doneandone 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah saw that after I scanned the comments. Thank you though!

[–]icarus628 1 point2 points ago

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Give the bitch an Oscar!

[–]VastDeferens 1 point2 points ago

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This is an old airing of WWE Smackdown

[–]Gunslinger145 1 point2 points ago

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Highlights from the World Cup?

[–]seriouslyjessie 1 point2 points ago

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How did someone make my mother in gif form?

[–]cookiebox123 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously not trying to be a hipster here but I saw this a couple of years ago and it made me laugh just as hard to see it again.

[–]parastar 0 points1 point ago

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He did look pretty old.

[–]BastardOfChrist 0 points1 point ago

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This happened in my city. Carson, CA

[–]ckfighter 0 points1 point ago

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Dammit, all the soccer jokes have already been made

[–]SithSquirrel 0 points1 point ago

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Dummystupid? Is that you? Are you angry that I outed you on AdviceAnimals?

[–]StanleyDarsh22 0 points1 point ago

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she could be the best soccer player ever!

[–]apollyon07 0 points1 point ago

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What a strange looking soccer field.

[–]cdwboozell 0 points1 point ago

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She's stop dropping and rolling. That magazine was obviously flaming.

[–]Brown_Flange 0 points1 point ago

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looks like the french last night.

[–]brave_lucas 0 points1 point ago

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Nevermind the joke has already been made.

[–]jaywillythe1st 0 points1 point ago

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shed make a great soccer player.

[–]DigitalisFX 0 points1 point ago

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Italian soccer at its finest

[–]naftidder 0 points1 point ago

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Shes got the makings of a great porn actress.

[–]RedditSurferGirl 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe hellbound but that was seriously hilarious lmao

[–]Steezle 0 points1 point ago

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This just about sums up the fights I had with my sister.

[–]winterorange 0 points1 point ago

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X-Ray attack! Fatality!

[–]GotGasOn 0 points1 point ago

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She's out for the season.

[–]mosaic4077 0 points1 point ago

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Give her the chair.

[–]criticalnegation 0 points1 point ago

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pro-soccer.

[–]iLaughLOL 0 points1 point ago

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seems legit.

[–]Xhoodlum 0 points1 point ago

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Also coaches soccer players in Spain...

[–]Twisted_Fate 0 points1 point ago

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Europeans do this in football, Americans in real life.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Minyme2009 -1 points0 points ago

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Looks like the NBA.