Let me tell you the story of my Friday night. Which explains how some girls are crazy, and others are cool.

Going out on a date - chick from occupid. Meet up for dinner, hit it off. We went to the same school. Life seems to be aligned for both of us. Hit up the bar next door. Snuggle a bit, play some people watching games, everything going well. Hit up another dive bar for some hipster watching.

OK, where next? Bounce back to my place. We take the puppy out for a short walk, come back, start making out.

The ex comes in the front door screaming and yelling. I guess she copied her key. I kick her out. The date is pretty cool with the craziness "shit happens". Lock the deadbolts.

Then ex came in the patio door, the lock falls when you jiggle the door correctly. Screaming and yelling ensue. The date leaves. I spend an hour kidnapped in my own apartment by my ex.

As I try to get my phone from my car to call the cops, the ex literally rips my clothes off trying to hold me back. I get the phone, the ex runs out. Call the cops. Find out my wallet's missing. The ex took it and threw it into the woods between my apartment and the next.

2 hours of searching later, still no wallet (i did find it in the morning). The date texted me the next morning to see if I was alive - then told me I owe her big time and better make it up to her.

So one crazy girl stalks my house for when I bring someone home, then breaks in.

And one cool girl texts me to make sure my ex didn't kill me after just a single date.

Clearly the issue is with picking the right girl. That said, all girls have feelings - too many feelings. The world needs more pants to put on those feelings.