this post was submitted on
337 points (55% like it)
1,793 up votes 1,456 down votes

funny

subscribe2,761,694 readers

8,118 users here now


Results of the facebook poll


Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!


NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 61 comments

[–]maxmzd 51 points52 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You should send this to 1999. They will love it.

[–]kbox 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ring ring, ring ring.... it's 1986, they want their snotty put-downs back.

[–]Mikchi 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]ImaginaryJello 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]what_user_name 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

did you tell them about 9/11, the earthquake, and katrina?

[–]penguin_pineapple 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What does Snoop Dogg wash his car with? His hoes.

[–]charlemagne_the_cat 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Garden hoes? damn thats gonna hurt.

[–]osm0sis 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How does snoop dogg get his whites so white?

He uses bleeoch.

[–]straitodenim -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Damn I scrolled all the way to the bottom looking for this joke and BAM right on the bottom. Unintentional Troll Is Sucessfull

[–]Lmkt 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

how is that a troll at all?

[–]joetromboni 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

holy fuck this is old

[–]Telxon 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And yet I still chuckled.

[–]ESJ 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What's Snoop Dogg's favorite art medium?

Stone sculpture.

Why?

The chisel.

[–]werferofflammen 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That is a cool hat.

[–]IAmtheHullabaloo 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

More importantly, why the fuck does he need someone to hold it for him. This should be in the definition of too rich.

[–]tyrannosaurus_sex 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Holding an umbrella is so cumbersome, "hire umbrella holder" is now one of the first things on my list for when I'm rich.

[–]I_Wont_Draw_That 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If he's going to have an assistant and/or personal bodyguard standing next to him anyway, they may as well be holding it.

[–]bfodder 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What is brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre.

[–]eelmaiden 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is easily my favorite joke. And I am surprised every time people haven't heard it.

[–]bfodder 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I told it at work the other day and all I got was deadpans. I work with morons. None of them have heard the phrase "jumped the shark" either.

[–]kihadat -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Haha, that is clever. Did you come up with that just now?

[–]bfodder -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No it gets told in r/funny as a new post once a month.

[–]soundofmind 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Are you serious? You've never heard that joke before? I think that has been around for ten years.

[–]kittimiyo -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I had not heard it.

[–]jaryl 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But everyone of us at Reddit has, so clearly, you are not one of us.

[–]kittimiyo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They have found us! ABORT! ABORT!

[–]Not_A_Slave 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

At first I was like, "lame, he makes a guy hold his umbrella for him." But then I was all, "cool, he's employing more people!"

[–]strib666 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reminds me of Jerome from The Time.

[–]imgur-mirror-bot 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]iremember12 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

just in case he makes it rain, que Fat Joe- make it rain

[–]RubberFroggie 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My coworker did this joke at work awhile back, but it went more like this:

"Snoop Dog walks outside and it's raining, Fo' Drizzle!!"

She's very much a 'mom' and threw her hands up in the air when saying the 'Fo Drizzle' part.

You just reminded me of that and made me laugh so thank you!

[–]CarlosG 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

His butler mans pocket 'chief looks absolutely awesome.

[–]ycpa68 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Upvote for what appears to be a Ravens hat. Not sure why he would wear it though

Edit: Nevermind, a quick wikipedia browse informs me that Ray Lewis invited him to training camp after a concert

[–]shtfuk 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why does Snoop Dogg like to make sculptures?

Fo' chisel.

[–]Stanlot 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Because fuck you >:|

[–]usualghost 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why does he need his bodyguard to be in a blazer?

[–]p0p0 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He's wearing a Ravens hat. I know he's a Steeler's fan. Must have lost a bet.

Awesome

[–]kbox 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Summon the boy, i gots an umbrella that be needin' holdin'

[–]KaiserWilhelmScream 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fo' shizzle.

[–]TheWildMiracle 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That hat, oh my god. What a baller.

[–]soradsauce 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's baaaack.

[–]Tom_Greens_Left_Nut 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

An umbrella AND a bucket hat?

Hello, this is the Department of Redundancy Department.

(more 90s references to add to the enjoyment of this thread).

[–]AnotherSunnyDayInHel 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

cos it's rainin' bitches?

[–]knocklessmonster 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But Dr. Dre wasn't in the photo! This is a lie.

[–]FreshFruitCup 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I thought it was going to say to protect his head and neck from the weight and direct impact of a thousand bitches raining down upon him.

[–]pinkmap_uk 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you stole this from Claudio lol

[–]notjawn 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What's the point in having a man servant if he's just going to dress better than you?

[–]TheLoneWander101 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ah snap you just got dissed by the umbrella holders umbrella holder

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's one sharply dressed brother.

[–]PalermoJohn 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is so old that it actually might not be a repost...

[–]txn9 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

why does snoop have black butler?

[–]FourteenHatch 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So I saw this post, and noticed hundreds of upvotes.

I thought to myself "oh! What witty turnabout was done to this well-known joke to warrant such a swell of acceptance? Perhaps it is an anti-joke, and there will be a picture of rain? Perhaps it is a meta-anti-joke, and it will be a picture of a Korean popstar? Or perhaps there is a recent event in this famous person's life that involves water or other moisture, and this will key me into a current happening!" and clicked.

Reddit. I am disappointed with you.

This place is turning into the "forwarded emails from your great-aunt" of the internet.

[–]nbauer61 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Brownie_Thunder 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I tried this, but used "snoop dog umbrella", saw that there were only 3 results, and gave up. I see now there are alternate spellings!

[–]B_For_Bandana -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why did Snoop Dogg send back the milk? It was pizzled.

[–]orypacker -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What does snoop dogg use to wash his clothes? BLEACH!

[–]trspanache -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this photo depresses me. The guy in the fancy suit is holding the umbrella for the guy dressed like.... that

[–]berryhill -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fuck this guy.

Here he tells a Norwegian reported to go fuck himself, just for asking normal questions. And being so fucking cool about it, get off your high horse, man.. Starts at 0:48 http://www.vgtv.no/#!id=44916

[–]BALTIM0R0N -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I can't downvote this hard enough.

[–]TopHatz -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hats as bad as that attract hellfire from the gods.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]TheWildMiracle 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow, chill out. No one forced you to click the link.