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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 244

[–]IAmtheHullabaloo 198 points199 points ago

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I watched this for far too long, reveling in your butthurt.

[–][deleted] 156 points157 points ago

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I'm going to give him some real butthurt tonight, I'm a professional.

[–]texacer 36 points37 points ago

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everyone has a niche

[–]fauxromanou 22 points23 points ago

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His is more of a crack.

[–]swimmermango 7 points8 points ago

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I'm willing to call it a cavern of expertise.

[–]shillbert 1 point2 points ago

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A crevasse, if you will.

[–]fauxromanou 0 points1 point ago

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Aw, I wish I had gone with this one instead now.

[–]Peskie 0 points1 point ago

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More like a fissure then?

[–]scotchirish 5 points6 points ago

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My birthday is in a couple weeks ;)

[–]butt_hole_pleasures 2 points3 points ago

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butthurt

[–]Diablo_En_Musica 1 point2 points ago

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Happy Anal Rape Day!

[–]Barf27 0 points1 point ago

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I assume you mean Analyst-Therapist

[–]Porkchawp 2 points3 points ago

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its Analrapist broski....im afraid you blue it.

[–]realgenius 0 points1 point ago

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Save it for the real assholes.

[–]Derbl 12 points13 points ago

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I set it as my desktop background at work.

[–]Toptomcat 112 points113 points ago*

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You submitted ONE OTHER THING today- a repost from two days ago in the same subreddit it originated in!

[–]AlleyPop 14 points15 points ago

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unless he deleted his submissions?

[–]Toptomcat 24 points25 points ago

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Then he's the sort of karma-whoring wimp who deletes poorly-received submissions rather than just letting them die a natural death and moving on.

[–]lostrock 5 points6 points ago

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Yes! One way or another, we'll find a way to criticize the OP, god damn it!

[–]st0neat 39 points40 points ago

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hahahahahhahaaaah what an asshole.

[–]GoodOrEvil 4 points5 points ago

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So, everything he's posted has been downvoted.

[–]Toptomcat 2 points3 points ago

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Technically true, I suppose. Every single one.

[–]Pigmartyr 2 points3 points ago

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Then he submitted this one to 3 other subreddits.

[–]you-hate-to-see-this 0 points1 point ago

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ugh... you cake to see this

[–]heteroptera 105 points106 points ago

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Well, you sure do give a lot of flying fucks.

[–]Derbl 16 points17 points ago

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A flocka flying fucks...

[–]Titan_Astraeus 12 points13 points ago

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A waka flocka flying fucks

[–]JJTizzle 4 points5 points ago

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A waka flocka flying fucks of flame

[–]dietotaku 20 points21 points ago

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also posted to r/pics, r/gifs and... r/gif? we needed a singular and plural subreddit?

[–]laneage 43 points44 points ago

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I watched that for a while hoping for a "You're cool" to sneak in there.

[–]strayclown 22 points23 points ago

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It is, you must have stopped watching too soon.

[–]IMightBeFullOfShit 30 points31 points ago

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Hey, that's my schtick.

[–]strayclown 11 points12 points ago

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What can I say? Sometimes I clown.

[–]Kateysomething -3 points-2 points ago

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Me too!

[–]magister0 17 points18 points ago

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No one cares if it's your "reddit birthday." Eat my shit. I downvoted this submission gleefully. Then I viewed your history, saw that you'd reposted this worthless submission three other times, and I downvoted those. Yes, I'm aware that downvoting something when you're viewing a user's history doesn't actually downvote it, so I opened the submissions individually. They were already at 0 karma, so it didn't matter, but I can't in good conscience fail to punish you for behaving so terribly. This isn't even the right subreddit. Everything you do is shit. I'd like to take a dump directly into your mouth.

[–]slothfulgod 7 points8 points ago

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Thank you for saying what needed to be said

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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If more people were like you, reddit wouldn't suck so bad.

To everyone reading this: this is the appropriate response to morons like OP. Make them ragequit, make them never come back. We're all better off for it. Downvoting and hiding does nothing.

[–]beanso 10 points11 points ago

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Oh fuck off, you karma whore.

[–]sigloiv 29 points30 points ago

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Funny, I was thinking about making a submission about how I got more karma for cake day than I think I ever have.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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Don't. We don't care.

[–]Sheldy13 12 points13 points ago

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This gif has captured exactly what I see when trying to drive somewhere in a hurry in downtown Austin, Texas at 5pm.

[–]naruttebayo 3 points4 points ago

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Or trying to drive in DFW, anywhere, at anytime.

[–]jetlags 33 points34 points ago

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And you care about karma why?

[–]BertEatsDirt 3 points4 points ago

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Being excluded and disapproved of for doing the exact same thing that wins others high praise is a frustrating and unfair-feeling experience, even if it is only on reddit.

[–]Y_U_NOOO 9 points10 points ago

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He may care about showing people cool news, sharing political ideologies, etc

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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If that were true, he wouldn't be submitting things simply because it's his birthday. No, doesn't care about sharing stuff. He cares about seeing a number go up. He's the cancer killing reddit.

[–]Minimumtyp 2 points3 points ago

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Because internet money!

[–]Dsilkotch 2 points3 points ago

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I thought it was Internet penis?

[–]JohnOrrIsAnArsonist 3 points4 points ago

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It can be both.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]gidgetsflow 4 points5 points ago

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possibly something about duck fondue?

[–]Sparklechu 24 points25 points ago

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Someone's bitter.

[–]district9 19 points20 points ago

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Bitter? Party of One? Your table is ready...

[–]AnalWithMonkeys 3 points4 points ago

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Some needs a hug.

[–]YetiRevolution 9 points10 points ago

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Why does it have a star on? I'm gettin' some sorcerous vibes o_O

[–]sonar1 7 points8 points ago

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the right to bear pentagrams

[–]99luftproblems 1 point2 points ago

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If only a photoshopper could invert it and give him red eyes...

[–]laughingwithu 1 point2 points ago

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here you go Evil Care Bear

BTW: I did not like the look of it inverted.

[–]99luftproblems 0 points1 point ago

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Good enough. Evil Wiccan Care Bear!

[–]bigroblee 1 point2 points ago

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The Care Bears are a set of characters created by Druce Ross in 1981 for use on satanic rituals. The original artwork for the rituals was painted by artist War Tooth. In 1983, Dark Horde The Mighty turned the Care Bears into plush teddy bears. Each Care Bear comes in a different color and with a specialized insignia on its belly that represents its duty and personality known as their "tummy symbol of doom". The latest movie, however, controversially is going to rename them "belly badges of doom". A spin-off of the family, the "Care Bear Cousins," features a lion, a monkey, a penguin, and other such animals in the same style as the teddy bears. The Care Bears appeared in their own television series from 1985 to 1988, in addition to three feature films: The Care Bears Movie (1985), Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation of satanic horror bears (1986), and The Care Bears Adventure in Wonderland (1987)and last but not least another film schedualled to appear in theaters in December of 2007 entitled "Doom of All Who Walk The Clouds of Carealot".

Source

[–]honeycombs 5 points6 points ago

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you shut your whore mouth and you shut it now.

[–]galileofan 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote for you. Perfect timing sir. LOLed IRL to quote what my teenager might respond with.

[–]honeycombs 0 points1 point ago

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*ma'am ;)

[–]Kateysomething 2 points3 points ago

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In all fairness, the only other thing you've posted today was...this .gif. Like, 6 different times.

[–]HaroldHood 2 points3 points ago

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Congratulations, you have helped kill Reddit.

I don't care about your Reddit birthday. If you really want karma that badly just stick your middle finger in your peehole and post that picture.

Oh Reddit, why must we fight like this.

[–]Hardeyhar 2 points3 points ago

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This site has gone to shit. I hate you all.

[–]CantankerousPete 2 points3 points ago

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The only thing more tedious than someone milking their shitty 'birthday' post is someone who feels they should get voted up to kngdom come because their crap is so much more worth reading.

[–]lindameetyoko 2 points3 points ago

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Reddit is dying.

[–]kev2600 1 point2 points ago

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That's how it feals.

[–]lindameetyoko 1 point2 points ago

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meh. I paged through a few of his profile or whatever and he comments so often, I couldn't even find a post that should have made the front page, much lest a post. Whatever. I came here for a constructive community. Now its the same shit hitting the front page every three days and its shit I saw over a year ago on reddit. Every other post is "help me get to the front page" "here is a cat" "here is a dog I saved" I could go on. I won't because now I am disgusted with myself for caring this much.

[–]kev2600 0 points1 point ago

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EZ on the ganja.

[–]lindameetyoko 1 point2 points ago

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Its more like the tequila... but yea. I read you. I was venting a bit. Spitting into the wind...........

[–]kev2600 0 points1 point ago

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[–]lindameetyoko 0 points1 point ago

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HOW COULD YOU EVEN SUGGEST THIS?!! THIS IS TOTAL BS! GRRR... I AM SO ANGRY! IF THIS WAS THE REAL REDDIT YOU WOULD BUY THIS FOR ME AND A PIZZA! AND THE PIZZA WOULD HAVE A HAND DRAWN DINOSAUR ON THE BOX. I AM SO ANGRY!!!

[–]kev2600 0 points1 point ago

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I really havent read the pizza box tread.

[–]lindameetyoko 0 points1 point ago

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you have been around long enough for the countless "i asked the pizza guy to draw me this.." shit right?! well, no matter. You did make me feel like Liz Lemon for a hot second with your book suggestion. For that, I say "nerds."

[–]kev2600 0 points1 point ago

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I'll have to google Liz Lemon now...

[–]PsychSuffix 2 points3 points ago

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Hell yes!!

All my posts were also repressed!

[–]TheoreticalFunk 2 points3 points ago

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It's my Reddit birthday. Posted two things, not a one upvote... So I'm with you.

[–]versusugly 2 points3 points ago

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happy cake day to me and you! :D

[–]PsychSuffix 0 points1 point ago

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Happy cake day to us all!

[–]DrKaota 11 points12 points ago

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Everything that you have done here today has been a colossal waste of everyones time. Please do not reproduce.

[–]palsh7 0 points1 point ago

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I award him no upvotes. And may god have mercy on his soul.

[–]reginaldfairfield 2 points3 points ago

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About 18-20 minutes in it says "I love you".

[–]finallymadeanaccount 2 points3 points ago

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OP is getting crankier as he gets older ...

[–]Marsupian 5 points6 points ago

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I think there was a message in there somewhere but I didn't quite pick it up.

[–]jonnywino 3 points4 points ago

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Angered by your failure to pay attention to him, he now wants you to go off somewhere and have forced unlawful carnal knowledge of yourself so he can gloat with the satisfaction of revenge.

Rather a funny mental image honestly, don't you think? "Sir, you are under arrest. Your wiener should never be subjected to such heinous treatment - not even from you."

[–]EarthRester 4 points5 points ago

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Not /r/WTF.

[–]shockfyre 1 point2 points ago

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So you post an equally dumbass post? Hypocrites FTW

[–]L0stm4n 1 point2 points ago

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Buried? WTF is this Digg? GTFO!

[–]quadeo 1 point2 points ago

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just watched this while iTunes was playing Lux Aeterna, that was pretty epic.

[–]steakmm 1 point2 points ago

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I did nothing for my cake day, it was so special.

[–]xitlhooq 1 point2 points ago

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This is not WTF, but he posted this on other subreddits, and did no get upvotes. And he did not post anything else today. And he's frontpage. Don't want to sound meta, but WTF WTF community.

[–]mothmilk 1 point2 points ago

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If it makes you feel any better, my cake day post was downvoted into oblivion with people bitching about how they hate cake day posts.

[–]diduknowitsme 3 points4 points ago

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Why do you care if you get upvoted? Never understood the superficiality of being "acknowledged" in a virtual community. Life goes on.

[–]yousefk 3 points4 points ago

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Someone needs to make this side-by-side 3D and upload it to youtube.

[–]XtortionBear 2 points3 points ago*

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This isn't WTF and you're a karmawhore.

For everyone who's downvoting... I don't give a fuck about my karma. But I do give a fuck about the integrity of this subreddit. There was nothing 'WTF' about this submission. Do you really want this subreddit being watered down with this tripe?

[–]butistilldontgetit 1 point2 points ago

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Feeling better now?

[–]lostwolf 1 point2 points ago

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you forgot a few subreddits where you could have posted this also

[–]haiku_robot 2 points3 points ago

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you forgot a few 
subreddits where you could have 
posted this also 

[–]Buffalo_Dave 1 point2 points ago

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truly amazing

I'd very much like to shake

your programmer's hand

[–]cigerect 1 point2 points ago

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This really does not belong in /r/WTF.

[–]ApatheticDeveloper 1 point2 points ago

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Same thing happened to me. Everyone on this site can go fuck themselves ;)

[–]strayclown 4 points5 points ago

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That's not really fair to the eunuchs.

[–]A_Texas_Toaster 2 points3 points ago

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i dont care if someone has a cake, i dont upvote unless its good, funny content, like this

[–]darkangelx 0 points1 point ago

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Its a rollercoaster of win!

[–]fundamentals 0 points1 point ago

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The music to the opening titles in Superman was playing in my head.

[–]sudohigh 0 points1 point ago

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That was more than "a" message... Prolly closer to 80 or 90. [6]

[–]xvtx 0 points1 point ago

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Your what hurts?

[–]crushmagnet 0 points1 point ago

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Xanex

[–]CTLoveHate 0 points1 point ago

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isnt it Xanax?

[–]deathsquaddesign 0 points1 point ago

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Buried... haha, Digg speak.

[–]slothzen 0 points1 point ago

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reddit is srs biz

[–]Hamster536 0 points1 point ago

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The only way you are getting a ton of karma on this day is if you do the following: Make sure the cake is near your username in the morning. Buy a puppy and take picture of puppy then post it to r/aww while showing off your new body obtained by using r/fitness. Also throw in your wife left you for a man of a different racial ethnicity. You found this all out on her Facebook page while cooking a dinner you got from r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuud. Oh, and if you really wanna hit the motherload post something about eating Nutella while faping.

[–]CDelane 0 points1 point ago

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Hoar:\

[–]Versailles 0 points1 point ago

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I made a lovely video on my cake day of my old cat doing tricks and received a net two upvotes. So fuck you, too.

[–]fastslowfast 0 points1 point ago*

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And on this day, there emminated a cry throughout the kingdom, a cry so vile that the gods dare not know it lest it be spake aloud. And the king sent forth a decree declaring that in the land of reddit there shall only be upvotes thus banishing downvotes from this day forth. And the people rejoiced and danced until they could no more. Children joyously presented flowers to the new upvote reddit throne and it was good. Those who would dare to violate the king's edict would be banished to the land of digg where there is much aimless wandering in the vast wasteland at hand throughout eternity. And all was good from that day forward in the kingdom of reddit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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¿QUE?

[–]kingconorisking 0 points1 point ago

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My page didn't load and then when it finally did, I forgot which link I clicked. Made me feel bad :(

[–]SL8Rfan 0 points1 point ago

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attaboy!

[–]myshtuff 0 points1 point ago

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Is it just me or does it keep getting faster?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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If it helps, my cake day was yesterday, and I only noticed with an hour left on the cake because I was TAing and proctoring exams all the day before.

[–]facecloud 0 points1 point ago

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cool - did you make this yourself? If so, how?

[–]darkon 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck karma. Why do you even care?

[–]Decman 0 points1 point ago

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"If it at first you don't succeed..."

[–]MikeyToo 0 points1 point ago

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I got no votes for my cake day posting. Zero. They even took away the default 1 upvote.

[–]slothfulgod 0 points1 point ago*

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This gif is one of the top posts of all time on spacedicks

[–]aGorilla 0 points1 point ago

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If you like reddit that much, might I suggest Digg.com as an alternative? If that's not good enough, try Fark.com.

[–]dvsaura 0 points1 point ago

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at the end of the clip, there is a cake.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You're no better.

[–]jt004c 0 points1 point ago

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I understand this is a joke, but just to help avoid hurt feelings, there's something everyone needs to understand:

For every post that hits the frontpage for any reason, there were hundreds just like it that do not. If it happens to be something novel, that's not going to be an easy ticket either.

If you see five cute puppys-eating-ice-cream pics, don't bother heading to the ice cream section. There are already 2,000 other people snapping their photos.

Reddit is like the network effect on hyperdrive. The numbers have grown too big to have any kind of serious expectation that a single post will climb, regardless of its merit.

[–]eternalkerri 0 points1 point ago

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you magnificent bastard

[–]Carsizzle 0 points1 point ago

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"Fuck you. Fuck you. You're cool. Fuck you; I'm out!"

[–]Olukon 0 points1 point ago

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This is just as bad as what you were complaining about. The path to true frontpage glory isn't made from butthurt, but instead OC, great stories, and breaking news...and sometimes cats.

[–]Chester_Copperpot_ 0 points1 point ago

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lightspeed

[–]columbine 0 points1 point ago

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You're part of the problem.

[–]MrBoog 0 points1 point ago

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Throw enough pasta at the wall and eventually something will stick

[–]mikeynez 0 points1 point ago

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I share this sentiment. I only posted one thing, but still.

[–]slomotion 0 points1 point ago

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I wish reddit would get rid of the cakes. I just encourages people to upvote the most inane shit just for their stupid fuckin cakeday.

[–]NutellaFish 0 points1 point ago

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This is the most mesmerizing thing I have ever seen.

[–]OzymandiasReborn 0 points1 point ago

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were you also, perchance, the man walkin' round town?

[–]toysjoe 0 points1 point ago

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I wish I could somehow box this gif and give it to everybody I meet.

[–]Chronique13 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was going to be a big wall of text..at least you saved us that

[–]pgan91 0 points1 point ago

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What? you want to irritate me? WELL GO FUCK YOURSELF AND HAVE AN UPVOTE

[–]BeefPieSoup 0 points1 point ago

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I downvoted you for you being the thing you hate.

[–]cole1114 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously, who gives a shit about cakedays? Hooray, you've wasted just as much time on reddit as the people who share your cakeday. Whoop-de-shitting-doo.

Edit: I was secretly hoping it was my cakeday so I could edit this after a few comments. Damn you October 23 being two days from now!

[–]Moishaha 0 points1 point ago

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[–]dariusj18 0 points1 point ago

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You know, I believe I may have seen you driving around the town. Hrm, yes, that was you, with the girl I love wasn't it. Indeed.

[–]dvdmarc12 0 points1 point ago

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Excuse me for my undeniable stupidity, but what is a "Cake Day"?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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that felt like snorting a lori

[–]max2grand 0 points1 point ago

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I agree. I'm sick of this shit.

[–]BigVoter 0 points1 point ago

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This is the message that never ends it goes on and on my friends!!! This is the message that never ends it goes on and on my friends!!! This is the message that never ends it goes on and on my friends!!!... Ect....

[–]matlick 0 points1 point ago

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Don't bother commenting when there's already 500+ comments.

[–]Zouski 0 points1 point ago

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Well fuck you too!

[–]armless_robber 0 points1 point ago

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"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool and fuck you. I'm out"

[–]Ciphermind 0 points1 point ago

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  1. Happy Cake Day.
  2. Fuck you too you karma-whore.

[–]multiplesifl 0 points1 point ago

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I don't usually upvote for people's cake day alone. But when I do, it's for this guy. :P

[–]MSpainting 0 points1 point ago

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How can you people like the blatant karma whoring? Are you're standards that low?

[–]cravf 0 points1 point ago

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[–]YaoSlap 0 points1 point ago

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Please can we take away the cake. This is fucking retarded. No one cares it's your Reddit birthday.

[–]Zoro11031 0 points1 point ago

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You're a fucking idiot.

[–]MystX 0 points1 point ago

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The fact that this is on the front page sort of proves OPs point, doesn't it?

[–]igor6661 0 points1 point ago

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Why is this under WTF and is this supposed to be ironic?

[–]palsh7 0 points1 point ago*

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No, fuck you.

There are hundreds of thousands of Redditors. Every day of the year, there are about 2,000 Redditors whose "Cake Day" it is. "Every one" of your bullshit posts were downvoted? GOOD! So should this one have been! Just like all of the "countless dumb ass posts that get upvoted to infinity" which have annoyed you in the past. I hoped that when r/reddit.com was closed, these "birthday" posts would end. Apparently not.

What, when it's them it's annoying but when it's you it's an entitlement?

Fuck You.

p.s. cool gif

[–]nazzurro 0 points1 point ago

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My God, it's full of slurs!

[–]Jeffmonkey 0 points1 point ago

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Finally someone says it!

[–]Kadmilos 0 points1 point ago

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Hmm was it just me or did anybody else find that soothing?

[–]Oryx 0 points1 point ago

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I stopped posting when my karma hit a nice even number. Why even bother.

[–]jvslacker 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck yeah, fuck Reddit

[–]InstantHellMurder 0 points1 point ago

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It's nothing personal. I just find the term and the idea of "cakeday" obnoxious, so I downvote every "cakeday" post on principle.

[–]Noobinabox 0 points1 point ago

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This reminds me of Super Smash Bros credits.

[–]Itsonlyzero 0 points1 point ago

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The Merry Go Fuck.

[–]mattybell2117 0 points1 point ago

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No sir,

Fuck you.

[–]cgfromtexas 0 points1 point ago

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Have an ironic upvote and Chicken Lytle's Look of Disapproval.

[–]mkicon 0 points1 point ago

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[–]34Heartstach 0 points1 point ago

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Yep...

[–]rubikscubefreak 0 points1 point ago

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Okay, but tell us how you really feel.

[–]Brisco_County_III 0 points1 point ago

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"FUCK YOU IT'S MY TURNNNNN"

In related news, that is indeed a pretty sweet gif.

[–]Mako_Eyes 0 points1 point ago

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1,132 upvotes from people saying "YEAH, FUCK US"

[–]that_black_guy 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote for most amazing gif

[–]Bronan_the_Brobarian 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck you forever

[–]5ends 0 points1 point ago

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You get a Fuck you and you get a Fuck you and you get a Fuck you.....

[–]fernannipoo 0 points1 point ago

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Wait...what are you trying to say here?

[–]elizzybeth 0 points1 point ago

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The rules for r/pics were updated recently to specifically prohibit birthday posts (see 5.1). Maybe that's why.

[–]senfood 0 points1 point ago

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hapy cak dey brah

[–]RangerSix 0 points1 point ago

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Congratulations, you made it to the front page!

[–]Halrenna 0 points1 point ago

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This looks really cool. Keeping it. Up vote, happy Reddit birthday, thanks, etc.

[–]SynthemescTheX 0 points1 point ago

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Get this man some karma.

[–]Flexo1 0 points1 point ago

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You are a LIAR! Your last submission was 2 days ago except for this one which is okay but not worth getting bitter about.

[–]yyx9 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote for justified rage and awesome gif.

[–]Supreme333 0 points1 point ago

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Getting mad at reedit works

[–]faceless_one -1 points0 points ago

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Immediately was reminded of this

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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you should let us know where you are so we can call you a WHAAAAAAAAAmbulance

[–]wastedturtle -1 points0 points ago

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Look at the amount of fucks this guy gives.. Upvote for making a point. You have my vote.

[–]retroxity -1 points0 points ago

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I had a cake day and didn't even mention it.

[–]j_mort -1 points0 points ago

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Bawww someone give me attention.

[–]FatalMegalomaniac -1 points0 points ago

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I know how you feel. I made like 3 posts on my cake-day. I don't think any of them got a single upvote.

Feels bad man.

[–]Dunge -1 points0 points ago

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What a retard

[–]CupboardNinja -1 points0 points ago

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I don't appreciate sore losers. Downvoted.