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all 68 comments

[–]uRprobablyagay 52 points53 points ago

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My approach to talking to your angry girlfriend: Yeah, I know, he's a total Dick, right? He doesn't deserve you. Wanna go get drinks and talk about it?

[–]f03nix 12 points13 points ago

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Hey guys, going out somewhere ... mind if I join ?

( OP, I've got your back bro ;) )

[–]sicinfit 9 points10 points ago

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Oh fuck me this party is BANGIN'. Stumbles between uRprobablyagay and OP's angry girlfriend.

( OP, I've got your back bro ;) )

[–]unsoutherner 6 points7 points ago

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Oh, shit. We can't all fit in one car! uRprobablyagay can ride with me, and OP's angry girlfriend can ride with the other guys.

( OP, I've got your back bro ;) )

[–]TheShader 7 points8 points ago*

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Hey, I know this great tea place that sells all natural tea. When I'm stressed out it gets me calmed down much better than some noisy bar.

( OP, I've got your back bro ;) )

[–]scont 2 points3 points ago

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Forget uRprobablyagay, sweetness, come home with me and let's get to it. You like doggy?

(OP, I cum on your girlfriend's back bro;))

[–]uRprobablyagay 0 points1 point ago

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Really, really bro? You don't even offer me into a 3-way? What kind of reddit brother are you?

[–]Gneisbaard 7 points8 points ago

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What, you snip the jugular?

[–]wdj111 9 points10 points ago

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no i think he tries to kill her with a bomb

[–]Magnos 4 points5 points ago

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Pretty sure he's like "Would you kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP? I'm trying to defuse a MOTHERFUCKING BOMB RIGHT NOW!"

[–]donna_hayward 33 points34 points ago

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OH LADIES BE SO EMOTIONAL

FELLAS YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT

[–]imafunghi 13 points14 points ago

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YEAH, us fellas like THE GAME. RIGHT FELLAS? You know when the game is on TV and your girl is trying to talk to you, but all you care about is the GAME. And you have to pretend to care about her problems while the game is on. Thats some annoying shit. AM I RIGHT GUYS?

[–]CowFu 11 points12 points ago

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Ever notice how white guys dance poorly?

[–]donna_hayward 11 points12 points ago

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WHATS UP WITH AIRPLANE FOOD

[–]FreeDirt 2 points3 points ago

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WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?

[–]futonrevolutionary 4 points5 points ago

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THAT'S HOW I TALK, HAVEN'T YOU SEEN MY MOVIES?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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"I can't defuse this bomb with you bitching at me like that..."

[–]Scunt_Brundi 4 points5 points ago

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Have you tried urinating on her to calm her down?

[–]Mackinstyle 8 points9 points ago

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A surgeon defusing a bomb. That's going to work out.

[–]soap111 4 points5 points ago

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my exact thought was "well no wonder she's angry, apparently this guy uses the wrong tools for every job"

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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the best part is that the bomb is going off no matter what you do

[–]randall82 6 points7 points ago

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This is a perfect analogy. Know the best way to not get hurt by that bomb? Just walk the fuck away.

Disclaimer: Most women aren't crazy bombs.

[–]stickymonkey 5 points6 points ago

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Disclamer to the Disclaimer: The Disclaimer is a lie

[–]bigben94[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for the advice!

[–]teelanovela 2 points3 points ago

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reminds me of this

[–]Anonymous3891 2 points3 points ago

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You forgot to mention every wire is the wrong one. Now go out to a bar.

[–]CandyOates 3 points4 points ago

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This implies that you have some idea of what wire to cut. In reality, all the wires cause an explosion!

[–]rossiFan 1 point2 points ago

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Right, so why give a fuck?

[–]dclowd9901 -2 points-1 points ago

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This is actually more true than any dude here can truly fathom. Just listen and apologize. Let the bomb die.

[–]Boondocks44 1 point2 points ago

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Yup, go at her with pliers...

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Razenghan 1 point2 points ago

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Just cut all the wires.

The goddamn thing is going to explode no matter what you do.

[–]oleoleoleoleole 3 points4 points ago

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"Jack, you need to cut the red wire."

"But everything's in sepia!"

"Well...you're fucked, good luck!"

[–]PETC 1 point2 points ago

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I find that hanging up the phone and then turning it off works pretty well. If face to face, then getting on a motorcycle and riding off will do it too!

[–]colec 1 point2 points ago

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Leave her. Now.

[–]BrockKentman 1 point2 points ago

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I was picturing holding a garbage can lid and a fire poker, defending off a screeching Dilophosaurus.

[–]NeutralAngel 1 point2 points ago

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My approach to talking to an angry SO is to be that guy behind the blast wall, really far away.

What I'm saying is that I use robots for interaction.

[–]imasickcunt 3 points4 points ago

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Just walk away reeeeaaalllllll gently.

[–]NonPermissive 1 point2 points ago

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Don't worry, the surgical mask will protect you.

[–]Stumbling_Sober 1 point2 points ago

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Hmm...Our conversations never involved wire cutters before. I will have to give this a try.

[–]docwatts 0 points1 point ago

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Is that still from Pee Wee's Big Adventure?

[–]nonameworks 0 points1 point ago

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WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE IT IS MOVING

[–]peaceisoverrated 0 points1 point ago

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Is the wire white with a green stripe, or green with a white stripe?

[–]comonXsense 0 points1 point ago

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did any one else notice that he was dressed as a surgeon and not a bomb disposal guy

[–]Zmura810 0 points1 point ago

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Was waiting for something to happen... Nothing happened

[–]IronicPlayer 0 points1 point ago

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so if i see this correctly then your saying your like a surgeon trying to defuse a bomb, you'll be as careful as a pro but it will still blow up?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Why the fuck would a doctor be disarming a bomb.

[–]slith93 0 points1 point ago

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[–]stefan_89 0 points1 point ago

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According to MANsWERs, the best way to diffuse a bomb is to freeze it. I don't know if this applies to berated girlfriends. I guess it does figuratively: Just act cool.

[–]steaksawse 0 points1 point ago

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Scumbag redditor: compares his girlfriend to a time bomb. No wonder she's mad at you.

[–]MorningHaze 0 points1 point ago

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I missed the part in which scrubs protect from close range explosions.

[–]boxofjason 0 points1 point ago

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Why is the bomb wearing a stethoscope?

[–]Retanaru 0 points1 point ago

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Is that a stethoscope? Someone either needs to explain how that bomb works or tell me it's bullshit.

[–]stickymonkey 0 points1 point ago

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My approach to talking to angry girlfriends

[–]cultured_banana_slug 0 points1 point ago

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Try disarming that bomb while riding along a country road in a car with no shocks. That's what it's like talking to angry girlfriends who are PMSing.

[–]Drunken_Economist 0 points1 point ago

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Mine is the same approach I'd have to a bomb - be very far away when it goes off

[–]OneAndOnlyJackSchitt 0 points1 point ago

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"You crazy, bitch."

Then I tickle her to death.

[–]mrason 0 points1 point ago

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i hope he doesn't catch some sickness will defusing that bomb.

[–]Revs2Nine 0 points1 point ago

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This post would have more upvotes if you guys had girlfriends.

[–]Hobmot 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Cognoggin 0 points1 point ago

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What you have failed to take into consideration, is cutting any wire results in detonation.

[–]Mr_Zero 0 points1 point ago

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Sensational!

[–]Abomonog 0 points1 point ago

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Why is it that you all have issues with angry girlfriends?

If she is getting on your nerves you tell her to STFU or you're gone, NOW.

For those wanting to ask: I've won every time once the girl figured out it wasn't a bluff.

[–]AttackTribble 0 points1 point ago

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My approach to talking to my angry girlfriend

There's your problem right there. The best tactic is to retreat.

[–]kentgreendisco 0 points1 point ago

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she's gonna blowwww!

[–]uRprobablyagay 0 points1 point ago

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...me...

[–]Paridoth 0 points1 point ago

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so true. sometimes while I am talking to her I pause for long periods of time playing out all my lines and her responses as fast as I can in my head, like I'm playing chess or something.

[–]funkmasta98 -4 points-3 points ago

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What's the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with terrorists.