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all 15 comments

[–]iJason 4 points5 points ago

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Oh Dear God, please not the lettuce. I'll give him back, I promise!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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still your lettuce...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Looks like a typo, he must have meant distill your lettuce.

[–]NegativeChirality 7 points8 points ago

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Dude. It would take so much fucking work to distill lettuce. Not only is lettuce filled with mostly non-carbohydrate shit that your yeast won't eat, but there are no enzymes to convert the carbohydrates into sugars! You would need some amylase enzymes, a very clean yeast strain, some yeast nutrients, a FUCKLOAD of lettuce...

AND you would still have to distill the resulting evil lettuce-beer into a ...lettuce vodka?

Shit, a nigga ain't gonna do that much for a shot.

[–]Zenith251 2 points3 points ago

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....But if someone did...I'd buy it.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]damntomfoolery 1 point2 points ago

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upvote for upvoting for science (?) that sounded better in my head but hey, there's upvotes involved and now I (kind of) know how to make alcohol out of lettuce, in case of emergency!

[–]busymommy83[S] 1 point2 points ago

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So it WAS you o.O

[–]alanisnotbr00tl 5 points6 points ago

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aye he got his tortus stilled prolly! pullin someone else bitches a petco

[–]TheBatOuttaHell 2 points3 points ago

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Hey, Crabman.

[–]gla3dr 1 point2 points ago

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Earl reference win.

[–]EmpressTurtle 1 point2 points ago

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Oh noooo D: not the tortoise!

[–]medicrow 1 point2 points ago

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Hes going to turn my lettuce into alchohol?

This is why I steal peoples pets,

[–]SlickittySlick 1 point2 points ago

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These "... bitches a petco..." you speak of, what species are they???

[–]busymommy83[S] 1 point2 points ago

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Possibly French?

[–]GeorgeStPierre 0 points1 point ago

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If this is real I actually feel bad for the dude and hope he gets his tortoise back.

However the fact that there is no contact information, and he spelled tortoise correct while grammatically butchering every other word he wrote makes me think this is bullshit, and therefore kinda lame.