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all 169 comments

[–]Nashvegas 47 points48 points ago

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This is from the movie Zardoz, for those wondering what the hell is going on here.

[–]buriednexttoyou 36 points37 points ago

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Please be Zardoz, please be Zardoz, please be — click — ZARDOZ!

Fuckin' great movie. Tits, Sean Connery, and a giant floating stone head. What more could you ask for?

[–]bicycle_ninja 23 points24 points ago

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how about a giant floating head that fucking vomits guns and commands you to murder everything?

[–]shamalamabigdong 13 points14 points ago

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It's the gun vomiting that really took the cake for me.

[–]LeftyGunNut 4 points5 points ago

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[–]MrSnoobs 2 points3 points ago

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...the penis is evil?

[–]medicrow 0 points1 point ago

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you had me at fucking vomits

[–]Christ 1 point2 points ago

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Amen!

[–]nategiraffe 1 point2 points ago

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That's exactly what I was thinking Haha, this movie was fantastic! Haha

[–]andy_anon 1 point2 points ago

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What more could you ask for? Better tits.

[–]lordnym 3 points4 points ago

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Knew without seeing the image (or the movie ever), what this was.

[–]alfihar 2 points3 points ago

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The gun is good. The penis is evil.

[–]DeezNuts666 1 point2 points ago

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I saw this movie when I was reaaaally little and have had that goddamnable floating head show up in my dreams every few years or so since. True story. >_<

[–]Stoph7 1 point2 points ago

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You have penetrated me. There is no escape. You are within me. Come into my center. Come into the center of the crystal!

[–]Happyjacker 1 point2 points ago

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I just tried to read the synopsis of the movie on imdb. I had to stop before my head exploded.

[–]THNDHALBRT 0 points1 point ago

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Zardoz was 100 minutes of intense mindfuck, in the negative sense.

[–]macrk 0 points1 point ago

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but it seemed to last for 4 hours

[–]holyerthanthou -1 points0 points ago

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no, dont watch that movie the confusion just gets worse.

[–]cab00se 38 points39 points ago

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He was thinking he is one sexy motherfucker.

[–]ForgottenPhoenix 25 points26 points ago

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Shexy*

[–]levitron 0 points1 point ago

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Shekshy*

[–]rissa_rizz 6 points7 points ago

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I think this is what he was after

[–]runs 13 points14 points ago

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Free cocaine. Is what he was thinking.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Generally, if free cocaine is involved, you can get anyone to do pretty much anything. Look at the porn industry.

[–]C-Dubs1987 0 points1 point ago

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Cocaine's a hell of a drug... eh eh eh

[–]padmadfan 0 points1 point ago

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Twitches. Licks finger, touches forehead.

[–]FraggotMan 11 points12 points ago

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its actually a very good movie even though balls everywhere

[–]snuf42 14 points15 points ago

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Once you get past the 70s trappings, there's a great story in there. Fits in well with other utopian/dystopian sci-fi from the same era, such as Logan's Run, Soylent Green and the Omega Man.

[–]WendyLRogers2 4 points5 points ago

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That was an amazing time for eccentric u/d movies. Start with the PBS version of The Lathe of Heaven (Ursula K. Le Guin), which has been reconstructed and is out on DVD; A Boy and His Dog (Harlan Ellison); The Last Days of Man on Earth (aka The Final Programme)(Michael Moorcock); THX-1138; Silent Running; Rollerball; Idaho Transfer; even the silly Death Race 2000; and Mad Max.

[–]WendyLRogers2 1 point2 points ago

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And the Planet of the Apes movies. El Topo. Hermann Hesse's Steppenwolf, which is kind of retro-dystopian.

[–]snuf42 1 point2 points ago

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I agree, it's one of my favorite periods of scifi. Maybe a bit bleak but quite thought provoking. Seems like after Star Wars came out things changed quite a bit towards fantasy being popular although thankfully that's lessened in recent years. Movies like Children of Men would fit right in with the 70s classics.

[–]otakucode 1 point2 points ago

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The 1970s was a banner year for cinema. Never before, and never since, have so many profoundly great films been produced. You could live your entire life only watching films from the 1970s, and you wouldn't miss much anything of value.

[–]Christ 1 point2 points ago*

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Here, here!

Edit: Hear, here!

[–]atlantic 3 points4 points ago

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if I were deaf maybe...

[–]Yeti_Poet 2 points3 points ago

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WHAT?

[–]Random_Tangent 11 points12 points ago

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The gun is good. The penis is evil.The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was, but the gun shoots death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth... and kill!

[–]otakucode 0 points1 point ago

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This could be the election slogan of a modern candidate. And he would win. Our society is obsessed with the evil of the penis, and the glory of guns. Grab a TV Guide (do they still have those?) and look at the listings. How many TV shows specifically about guns? Future Weapons, Secret Weapons, Future Soldier, and dozens of others. Then, how many heroes are gun-toting characters whose penis is never shown? Nearly all of them. The gun makes you a hero. The penis makes you a pervert, a degenerate, and a danger to society.

The gun is good. The penis is evil. The motto of the Class of 2011 in high schools across the USA!

[–]lordtaco 8 points9 points ago

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"According to John Boorman, Sean Connery found it incredibly difficult to get work when he abandoned the James Bond role a second time after Diamonds Are Forever. Thus, Boorman was able to hire Connery very cheaply for this project." - IMDB trivia page.

Also I have watched this movie. The whole thing. God have mercy on my soul.

[–]bitchkat 2 points3 points ago

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It was a staple on USA's Up All Night. I'm not sure how many times I've watched it.

[–]nategiraffe 13 points14 points ago

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He took this roll because, "the penis is evil".

[–]cigarettesteve 10 points11 points ago

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The gun is good!

[–]nategiraffe 1 point2 points ago

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The penis shoots seed! The gun shoots the penis!

Lol that's how the line should have been.

[–]THEJAZZMUSIC 7 points8 points ago

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"Finally, a producer that will let me wear my red-leather cock-holster on film!"

[–]alkalinetreo 7 points8 points ago

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Because Zardoz is an awesome movie.

On weed.

[–]mrmyxlplyx 12 points13 points ago*

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He was probably thinking, 'Unless I can break out of this James Bond role-typing, I'm going to be broke.'

Just a little trivia: Sean Connery was offered the role of Morpheus in 'The Matrix' he turned it down because he didn't understand it. So when the part for Alan Quartermain in 'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' was handed to him, he jumped on it even though he didn't understand it either, because he needed the work.

[–]gentledevil 3 points4 points ago*

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Sean Connery was offered the role of Morpheus in 'The Matrix' because he didn't understand it.

In fact it was the Gandalf role... But while I'm glad we had McKellen in LOTR instead, I suppose he could have done a good Morpheus.

[–]djdaedalus 5 points6 points ago

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He was thinking how bad ass Zardoz was and how much trim the future held.

[–]bastardsnow 4 points5 points ago

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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

[–]EXMarten 2 points3 points ago

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Top 100 shexhiest mhen onh Earthh, herhe I kchome

[–]astrosnax 4 points5 points ago

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He understood how awesome Zardoz is.

[–]Almost-Famous 3 points4 points ago

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Zardoz is awesome.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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He was thinking it was fucking ZARDOZ. Interestingly, this came out the same year as Flesh Gordon. 1974 was a golden age for erotic orgy sci fi. I guess.

[–]sirGustav 1 point2 points ago

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I thought that was a typo and it was funny, but there actually is a film called Flesh Gordon. Flash Gordon is from 1980

[–]xilpaxim 5 points6 points ago

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That makes it look goooooood.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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he was still leveling up back then. Leveling up gets you into different areas

[–]newloaf 1 point2 points ago

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I'm guessing you haven't seen this film. My only complaint is they didn't follow the book more closely.

[–]NintenDork 4 points5 points ago

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Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

[–]gpto 2 points3 points ago

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"Money, my deahr schitishin."

[–]nostalgicBadger 4 points5 points ago

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One of my friends is obsessed with this movie. Seriously, she won't stop talking about it.

[–]ConvergentTheory 3 points4 points ago

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He was thinking paycheck, paycheck, paycheck!

[–]tomthepirate 3 points4 points ago

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he was thinking "i'm sean connery motherfucker, i'll do whatever the hell i like"

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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I read somewhere that the Book of Eli was a remake(loose) of this film. Zardoz stood for the wizard of oz, the only book left in that future.

[–]TheEvilScotsman 5 points6 points ago

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I would look shexy in those skivvies.

[–]MonkeyBones 2 points3 points ago

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Because This!

[–]adambeard 3 points4 points ago

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paycheck.

[–]anarchistsomalia 3 points4 points ago

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"I'm Sean Connery."

[–]burbanity 1 point2 points ago

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I named my character in D and D Czardoz the Salacious after I watched just twenty minutes of this movie.
Zaaaaaardoooooz.

[–]takeheed 3 points4 points ago

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He was secure in his manhood.

[–]hypocrisy1776 2 points3 points ago

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He was thinking - 'Fuck you, I'm Sean Fucking Connery!'

[–]DAVE_ATTEL 2 points3 points ago

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"This movie will be a classic" and it is

[–]blueranger 3 points4 points ago

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He was probably thinking, "what a great film this will be." He was right; it's a great film.

[–]raffytraffy 3 points4 points ago

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ultimate stoner flick.

[–]nigh70wl 3 points4 points ago

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you shut your whore mouth that was a great movie and he played a great role

[–]badassjackson 4 points5 points ago

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Fuck it, I'm Sean Connery, I can do whatever I want and I'm still a badass!

[–]IamZed 4 points5 points ago

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He was thinking wisely.

[–]10tothe24th 3 points4 points ago

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SHUT THE FUCK UP, ZARDOZ IS AMAZING!

[–]ratlater 5 points6 points ago

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"Oooh, money!"

[–]holyerthanthou 5 points6 points ago

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The gun is good.... THE PENIS IS EVIL.

(now that you think about it that kind of sounds like a republican)

[–]otakucode 0 points1 point ago

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Or any parent.

[–]Rev_Beaker[!] 2 points3 points ago

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"Let me get this right - you'll pay me to wear a diaper? My day has come!"

[–]tacotacotaco_1 2 points3 points ago

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"I'm going to look like a God Damn champion in thische outfit"

[–]zlavan 2 points3 points ago

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"I'm gonna get six kinds of laid for this shit."

[–]Levitheguy 2 points3 points ago

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Theshe boots make me look dead shexy!

[–]bafta 2 points3 points ago

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Having to pay a very large tax bill I expect

[–]trebular 2 points3 points ago

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at leasht itsh not the untouchablsh.

[–]riggathehut 2 points3 points ago

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michael, i've made a huge mistake

[–]rufioherpderp 2 points3 points ago

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"Now, where are these kinky bitches?"

[–]powerbrows 2 points3 points ago

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"I'm going to be one shekshy bitch."

[–]pseudocide 2 points3 points ago

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"oh gosh, i'm shuch a shexy maan i jusht know i could pull that off"

[–]ladyroxanne 2 points3 points ago

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Yesh I wantsch to be scheen in thongschhhh.

[–]damnclem 2 points3 points ago

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$$$$$$$$$

[–]z0mbieraid 2 points3 points ago

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I'am very shexy, very shexy indeed.

[–]chiablo 2 points3 points ago

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This is what he was thinking:

$‿$

[–]locke-peter 2 points3 points ago

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I knew that was coming....and yet I clicked anyway.

[–]Zeppelanoid 2 points3 points ago

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Lotshhhhhhhhh of moneyhshhhhhhhhhhhh

[–]slitrobo 2 points3 points ago

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Maybe they said he could keep that awsome costume.

[–]Iarwain_ben_Adar 2 points3 points ago

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The 60's and 70's had the most awesome drugs.

[–]AlphaLemming 2 points3 points ago

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He was thinking you should shut up and stay within his aura!!!

[–]duggar62 2 points3 points ago

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like a boss

[–]ECook073 2 points3 points ago

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"Not that I'm done with that James Bond bullshit, I have the time and clout to make the awesomest fucking movie, EVER!!!!"

[–]SarahLoren 2 points3 points ago

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The 70's.

That's your answer.

Nuff said.

[–]TumorPizza 2 points3 points ago

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The check better clear. The check better clear.

[–]Assmar 2 points3 points ago

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I think I just found my sexy cowboy costume for Halloween this year. Time to ruin the holiday for grown ups just like they have for kids, one over-exposed thigh at a time.

[–]f_n_a 1 point2 points ago

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Actually I did this for halloween a couple years back. Since nobody would know who the hell I was, I decided to go not as Zed (the character from the movie), but as as Sean Connery dressed up as Zed. I printed out a bunch of these photos at the local 1 hour photo, and signed them for people. The costume worked out surprisingly well...

[–]chatzimcfee 0 points1 point ago

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Not trying to be offensive, but if you look at your face above the mustache, you appear very much like a girl.

[–]BSin87 2 points3 points ago

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He was probably thinking he should shove a couple socks in his pants before filming each scene...

[–]OnDaHouse 2 points3 points ago

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I believe you mean this role: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0052722/

[–]Brettersson 2 points3 points ago

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because they drove a dumptruck full of money up to his front door

[–]LBORBAH 2 points3 points ago

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Gun good penis bad.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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He was thinking what ever the fuck he wanted. He's Sean-fucking-Connery!

[–]slippery_when_supple 2 points3 points ago

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"I look absolutely fantastic in red."

[–]ericbrow 2 points3 points ago

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I bet he was thinking "How can I out of the James Bond type-casting?"

[–]f_leaver 2 points3 points ago

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I need the money, I need the money, I need the money, I need the money, I need the money, I need the money...

[–]WendyLRogers2 2 points3 points ago

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Fair is fair. The movie also had the incredibly hot and intense Charlotte Rampling.

[–]taylorbcool 2 points3 points ago

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I posted this like five months ago...Got zero upvotes...I love you too reddit...

[–]Tretyal 2 points3 points ago

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Who cares? Guy could pull women wearing a stained wife-beater and sweats.

[–]padmadfan 2 points3 points ago

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It was the 70's...We were all going through a panties and suspenders phase back then...Ah, my boy, 'twas a magical time.

Actually, the 70's sucked balls. It was a very greasy, hairy, stinking of polyester time.

[–]DareToDownvote 2 points3 points ago

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I think Roger Ebert did the best job of reviewing this movie when he said, "John Boorman's ZARDOZ is a genuinely quirky movie, a trip into a future that seems ruled by perpetually stoned set decorators."

Full Review

[–]Wimmywamwamwozzle 4 points5 points ago

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$.$

[–]Dante2005 1 point2 points ago

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That I am S'hexy man with nothing to loshe

[–]iRideDragons 2 points3 points ago

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"I'M SHEXY AND I KNOW IT."

[–]DoesThisSmellBad 1 point2 points ago

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he was preparing for his old age and adult diapers. I can say that now but back in the day... He was HOT!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Seems like Sean Connery to me.

[–]haux 1 point2 points ago

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We all make mistakes after nights of heavy drinking.

[–]onemorepost 1 point2 points ago

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I am JAMES FUCKING BOND!

[–]cohrt 1 point2 points ago

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the gun is good the penis is evil.

[–]the_red_scimitar 1 point2 points ago

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It was a paid advertisement for hooker boots.

[–]spattem 1 point2 points ago

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As long as he could keep that mustache

[–]tero4 1 point2 points ago

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Who doesn't want to work in their bathing suit?

[–]kernowgringo[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I'll do it as long as I can keep the costume.

[–]boffohijinx 1 point2 points ago

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Time the let the boys breathe.

[–]theghostofme 1 point2 points ago

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He was thinking, "Tish a glrioush tshing to be a pirate king!"

[–]mikeyuf 1 point2 points ago

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"Welcome to The Jock"

[–]FabulousLastWords 1 point2 points ago

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"This will be the greatest movie of my entire career!"

[–]ItGotRidiculous 1 point2 points ago

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"Scotch, I need more money for scotch."

[–]bultra 1 point2 points ago

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SNAAAKE!

[–]avd007 1 point2 points ago

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He wasn't on earth that day... so i guess his outfit is appropriate...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Here is thought process $$ = bitches = sex

[–]omplatt 1 point2 points ago

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he was thinking "thish shounds intereshting"

[–]gg345 1 point2 points ago

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He was thinking, "I get to wear those fawking shexy booots!"

[–]bobaimee 1 point2 points ago

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Omg, this whole time I never realized it was him!

[–]napalmer 1 point2 points ago

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If im correct it was along the lines. "Damn a niggahs got to eat!"

[–]DarthContinent 1 point2 points ago

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"How the hell will I pay for my Ashton Maahtin??"

[–]skippyG 1 point2 points ago

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probably thinking that since he wasn't famous yet, he'd like to pay his rent and eat a hot meal.

[–]themostbob 1 point2 points ago

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"Eh, can't be as bad as Highlander 2"

[–]SilverVendetta 1 point2 points ago

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I'm hungry.

[–]IAmGoingToFuckThat 1 point2 points ago

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Mankini and thigh-high boots. Fuck yeah!

[–]swswswus 1 point2 points ago

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Zardoz: I never could decide if this movie was brilliant or awful, but I've never forgotten it. Worth seeing.

[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 1 point2 points ago

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Because he realized the gun is god.

[–]MonkeyBones 1 point2 points ago

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Because This!

[–]bleergh 0 points1 point ago

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"Fuck you, I'm Sean Connery".

[–]7nights 0 points1 point ago

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"Where are my pants?"

[–]jakb001 0 points1 point ago

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He was thinking he'd look dead sexy. Which he does.

[–]sclaw 0 points1 point ago

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He was thinking, "Hell, my agent says it is fine if I give up the clause about veto control over my wardrobe because this is going to be such a big hit. Money's good too. Should be okay-- how bad can it be?"

[–]swashbuckle 0 points1 point ago

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Jusht how the fuck much can I git awey wish...

[–]joeygetsbitches 0 points1 point ago

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he was obviously thinking about how many upvotes he would get. this guy really had his shit together if you ask me.

[–]honestdick 0 points1 point ago

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He was thinking that his manhood would look bangin' in a red banana hammock... & I gotta say, he wasn't wrong.

[–]kawavulcan97 0 points1 point ago

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With all due respect, there is no way you are awesome enough to question anything Sean Connery does.

[–]vectordoom 0 points1 point ago

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I mean I think he is pulling it off no problem

[–]pakiman47 0 points1 point ago

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"man do i look sheckshy!"

[–]Ras_H_Tafari 0 points1 point ago

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I remember reading he used a Webley revolver in the movie and thought "Cool, I should watch that". Looked it up, saw a picture of his character... nooooope.

[–]wekiva 0 points1 point ago

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He was thinking: "They offered me money, and it is an amount I'm willing to take to play this part."

[–]cruxix 0 points1 point ago

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Bitches love the banana hammock - SC

[–]shewhoknows 0 points1 point ago

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He did it for the boots and harness. No lie

[–]mathan1234 0 points1 point ago

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The Trailer is crazy.

[–]hiphophippopotamus -3 points-2 points ago

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Still better than Daniel fucking Craig.

[–]crotchmonkey -1 points0 points ago

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He was think "I'm Sean Connery, I can do whatever the fuck I want"

[–]otakucode -1 points0 points ago

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They got so much right in Zardoz... but because they got the aesthetics wrong, everyone ignores it.

If you don't think we're getting to the point where the prevailing dogma is "The penis is evil. The gun is good." then you haven't been paying attention.