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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]eaterofdog 170 points171 points ago

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I can take his bitch ass! Let me out!

[–]BeMoreCareful 123 points124 points ago

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Hold my catnip mouse.

[–]pantadon 28 points29 points ago

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Been training hard on the scratching post....

[–]jacob2xx 254 points255 points ago

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If Red Dead Redemption taught me one thing it's that mountain lions scare the shit out of me.

[–]a-blinkin 126 points127 points ago

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Those fuckers killed my horse everytime.

[–]OldGobbo 48 points49 points ago

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roar

GOD DAMMIT WHERE THE HELL IS IT OMYGOD THERE'S ZOMBIES AND I CAN'T SEE THE GODDAMN THING BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME COLOUR AS THE GRASS!!!

[–]g_e_r_b 12 points13 points ago

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Undead mountain lions are the worst.

[–]BurninTree5 20 points21 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ i waged a war on them. killed every damn one i ever saw ever.

[–]bebesee 38 points39 points ago

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Apparently they don't scare the shit out of that cat. Badass.

[–]forcekin69 82 points83 points ago

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The cat just thinks its looking in the mirror.

[–]Stinger007 47 points48 points ago

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"Damn I look good, yep still got it"

[–]ShitBabyPiss 2 points3 points ago

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Until it's larger self burst through and eats him as a snack...

[–]FakeWings 12 points13 points ago

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I never go into that damn cabin up in the woods anymore! It's a trap for me set up by cougars! They just keep multiplying!

[–]Para-Koopa 13 points14 points ago

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First time I used the camp site and fast travel in RDR a cougar killed me about 5 seconds after the fast travel. For the rest of the game I would pull my gun out and look in all directions right after a fast travel.

[–]OnmyojiOmn 15 points16 points ago

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Try some Minecraft. Just woke up in your house? Check ALL the windowsssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[–]jared174 76 points77 points ago

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My brother lives in the mountains outside of Boulder, CO, so I sent this picture to my sister-in-law. She called me frantically, wondering where I got the picture... because her neighbor took it. They have 2 mountain lions wandering the area. She sent me another picture.

Imgur

[–]Seapoopfromfish 66 points67 points ago

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That cat is as big as that cat!

[–]yangx 14 points15 points ago

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raising its fur

[–]Fltar2 34 points35 points ago

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stupid cheating cat!

[–]andyp22 427 points428 points ago

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That is a skinny mountain lion. You can see it's ribs and it's vertebrae. I bet you'll see that thing again.

[–]matt_rhorn 171 points172 points ago

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Yeah the problem with that is... sometime you're going to have to go outside.

Soon.

[–]Inlander 94 points95 points ago

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Do not cook any bacon for at least 6 months

[–]aRadioWithGuts 224 points225 points ago

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Easier alternative: commit suicide.

[–]SystemOutPrintln 19 points20 points ago

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Even easier alternative: shove it in the passenger seat of a car and drive it somewhere far away.

[–]khayber 73 points74 points ago

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Put it in a box and sell it on eBay as an "Office Chair".

[–]NothingsShocking 22 points23 points ago

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A++++++++My ex-wife opened this package and all my problems are over!! Thank you khayber!

[–]Pravusmentis 12 points13 points ago

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To show your will for survival, send your bacon to me, Hungry-guy at 3240 Evergreen terrace

[–]JerkyChew 11 points12 points ago

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Springfield? What state?

[–]DavideAndrea 166 points167 points ago

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You can see it's ribs and it's vertebrae

No, it's not ribs; and it's not vertebrae. It's a mountain lion.

[–]shmoopie 42 points43 points ago

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Being that skinny, I'm guessing it isn't the fucker that ate my neighbor's dog in my yard a few weeks ago. She was a big dog. @Conifer, co. not far.

[–]AlterNick 35 points36 points ago

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Holy shit man, that sucks. Sorry for you and your friend's loss.

[–]hayesr 24 points25 points ago

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I live in a rural area and I just lost my cat of 9 years to a cougar last week. Feel your pain.

[–]cant_be_pun_seen 13 points14 points ago

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Thats a young mountain lion. You can tell by the height, even if that house cat is a maine coon, the lion is way too short to be fully grown(I know there is a step down to where the lion is standing, but you can further tell by the length of the lion).

[–]aarontaylor5000[S] 211 points212 points ago

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It is very skinny. I wish there was an ethical way to feed it. If it were my house, I would be really freaked out that the big cat would break through the glass to get my cat!

[–]3brushie 248 points249 points ago

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cougar breaks through the door you're six feet away from

"Mister Pussykins, nooooo!"

[–]Waitwhatwtf 184 points185 points ago

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The Real Housecats of Cougartown

[–]SirFappleton 35 points36 points ago

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This was essentially Meercat Manor.

[–]spastacus 17 points18 points ago

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Too short leopard print skirt. Wobbling on high heels and her eleventh shot of the afternoon. Blood red lip stick smeared on teeth exposed by a come hither sneer. Cubic zirconia crusted golden jewelery sparkling in the mountain sunlight like a broken disco ball. "You get that scrawny little man ass over here sugar and let mama turn your world upside down hiccup with a coupla tricks only time can teach ya"

[–]Dann01 128 points129 points ago*

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[–]6times9is42 9 points10 points ago

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Oh man. I'm taking my upvote back. Not cool OP. Not cool.

[–]callmeWia 6 points7 points ago

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Ohhh, I'm a sad man.

[–]Frozenghost186 25 points26 points ago

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I think I saw in the paper in Boulder a week ago that one wandered into the dorms. Boulder is awesome.

[–]woodwars 11 points12 points ago

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[–]OrangeCityDutch 7 points8 points ago

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a couple years ago a mountain lion grabbed someone's dog in Idledale, which is near the town of Kitteridge

http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_10098036

I know it's not the same Kitteridge, but it's just a bit south. Same shit happened to my neighbors in Evergreen a couple years ago, although I don't think that got into the papers.

[–]kalmah 22 points23 points ago

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I wouldn't be feeding a mountain lion somewhere where you have small pets like a cat or dog. Unless you want it to come back for them.

[–]jamisixtey 52 points53 points ago

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Fuck small pets, dont encourage one around where PEOPLE are.

[–]Mulsanne 20 points21 points ago

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This is such a confusing comment if you take it out of context.

[–]popquizmf 24 points25 points ago

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We have an over population problem, couple people won't hurt.

[–]kawausokoi 7 points8 points ago

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Almost every mountain lion mauling is due to a starved lion being forced towards civilization to find food.

[–]bigroblee 6 points7 points ago

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I'm wondering if it might still be a teenager (or the cougar equivalent). It seems short in length also for a cougar.

[–]omgwolverine 32 points33 points ago

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a catolescent.

[–]Leucid 202 points203 points ago

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What the heck is that thing inside your house?

[–]SarahLoren 221 points222 points ago

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My guess is it's a Maine Coon.

[–]IGottaSnake 36 points37 points ago

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Looks just like my cat, color and all. Mine is a MC, so I am guessing it is highly possible.

Kittan under Botox You can't much of him, but I promise he looks just like OPs cat from the top/back. He is a big kitten in this pic. Now that he is full grown, I pick him up sometimes and think 'Jebus, cat, you are fucking hefty'.

[–]Borkt 37 points38 points ago

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DAYUM CAT YOU HEFTY

[–]StruggleBus 1 point2 points ago

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Wait. Your dog is named Botox?

[–]IGottaSnake 3 points4 points ago

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Yes. Lol. His is Basset/Shar Pei. There were many wrinkles when he first came to us at 4 months old from the rescue. They named him Theo which didn't suit him at all. Botox seemed perfect, though I figured I would call him Bo. However, I got used to the word Botox to the point where it became my dog's name more than a cosmetic procedure, so I forgot how odd it was. Then, one day, the dog got loose and was running down the road. And as I was walking down the street yelling "Botox! Botox, come here!" I remembered how funny it must sound. Hard to stay mad when you know you look like a lunatic.

[–]Hara-Kiri 362 points363 points ago

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I'm getting fed up with the racism here on reddit.

[–]touchcoma 81 points82 points ago

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I'm fed up with the ignorance about drugs on reddit.

[–]Hara-Kiri 39 points40 points ago

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Where did that come from?

[–]Tashre 148 points149 points ago

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The heart?

[–]eyecite 9 points10 points ago

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Was an ama about being a recovering heroin addict earlier today with that in the title

[–]xin_kuzi 2 points3 points ago

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I agree!

[–]bigroblee 4 points5 points ago

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Also agreed. My cat is from the SPCA but sometimes I think she might have some Maine Coon in her, she's a big one. Also, when she puffs her hair our like the one in the photo is doing she does appear quite a bit larger.

[–]Nadieestaaqui 26 points27 points ago

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Colorado mountain lions, especially along the front range, don't tend to be very big, in my humble experience. If I were to guess, I'd say it's because of the stresses of living too near humans. They're a little bigger as you go west into the mountains, but I've never seen one in the wild as big as the ones at the zoo, where they're well fed and cared for from kitten-hood.

[–]rsandoval92 16 points17 points ago

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Makes sense for front range lions, but i've definitely seen some pretty damn big ones in western colorado (i live in crested butte), as well as some enormous bears and a wolf (wish i still had pics of the tracks). My cousin stumbled upon one huge cat while deer hunting that had dragged a 230lb buck about 20ft up into a ponderosa and was munching on it up there

[–]Nadieestaaqui 6 points7 points ago

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Oh yeah, I don't doubt at all that there are some much bigger lions out your way - it's still a forest on the Western Slope. Everything east of the Divide is drying up and dying the last 7-8 years. I saw some monster cats when I was younger, but nothing as big as you're talking about in the last decade or so.

I did get to see a decent sized cat a few years ago. Came out of the woods and took down my buddy's fully grown pit bull like it was a helpless baby, then pulled the carcass up a tree. It's really amazing to see how powerful they are.

The climate change doesn't seem to have affected the bears as much. The last one I saw was still huge - I sat on my deck and watched it while it tore up one of those steel "bear proof" trash enclosures like it was made of tin foil.

I'd heard the wolves were making a come back. A friend of mine told me DoW was auctioning off wolf tags this year for hunting season. I'd like to see one of those in the wild.

[–]rsandoval92 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah it's definitely a whole different landscape out there, and i'm sure they are fewer than they were in the past. That's pretty insane with the pit though that must have been crazy to watch i'd have freaked!! They really are beautiful and at the same time frightening animals.

Yeah i feel like bears are pretty adaptable haha we had one in our house last year when we were out of town. The dang thing ate just about everything we had, even a bag of dry pancake mix.

Wolf tags?? wow that's wild, almost sad in a way though i'd never want to kill something so intelligent and beautiful, same with foxes i never understood it.

[–]Puntimes 8 points9 points ago

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That is what I want to know. At first I thought i was a cat on a coffee table close to the camera but, its standing on the floor and is as big as the mountain lion (cougar).

[–]IGottaSnake 7 points8 points ago

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Maine Coons are big cats. I have had 2 (one currently) and they are not petite by any means.

[–]meatcat 796 points797 points ago

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Holy fuck, is that a bear in the background by the tree?

[–]zvoidx 217 points218 points ago

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[–]zvoidx 378 points379 points ago*

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NEWSFLASH: IT'S NOT A BEAR!!

User tyl3rdurden posted this comment, stating "a link from someone related to OP":

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/lflw4/picture_taken_this_past_weekend_by_friend_of_my/c2scmic

With this pic of a mountain lion next to a mountain lion statue:

http://i.imgur.com/u9xDt.jpg

And my pic of the "enhanced bear", from the original pic:

http://i.imgur.com/qggp5.jpg

Now, both together:

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/605/lionscomparedjpg.jpg

As you see, the statue (and even the tree) are exactly the same as the "bear" pic.

[–]wsomma 51 points52 points ago

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You, sir are the Sherlock Holmes of reddit.

[–]indieshirts 21 points22 points ago

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I commend your detective work!

But seriously, don't be such a fucking buzzkill, man.

[–]gekk00 204 points205 points ago*

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yep... yep, bear... yep, fucking bear.. fucking bear... yep

edit: i did a watercolour painting just to be sure

[–]deityofanime 196 points197 points ago

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[–]sloppychris 35 points36 points ago

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I created a gui interface using visual basic. Tracked an IP address.

[–]schwerpunk 14 points15 points ago

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I torrented the download and seeded the CPU with more SDRAM.

[–]spegeddy 4 points5 points ago

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I sat patiently for someone to do this for me :)

[–]Sedsage 3 points4 points ago

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Your amateur program obviously wasn't good enough, as I still can see some green pixels on its face.

[–]GramarBoi 16 points17 points ago

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Thanks, that helped a lot

[–]Capn_Danger 23 points24 points ago

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Wow, what do these people do? Take a shotgun with them when they go to check the mail? Things are seriously out of control there.

[–]eatmeat 34 points35 points ago

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I live in this neighborhood. I jingle my keys every time I go out at night, carry two flashlights and wave them around like crazy, sing like a lunatic, and also carry two knives at all times. I constantly rehearse in my head how I would take out one of these crazy animals.

[–]LiveStalk 17 points18 points ago

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“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.” ― Mike Tyson

Pretty sure getting mauled would apply as well.

[–]eatmeat 17 points18 points ago

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It's a statue of a mountain lion, here are more pics: http://imgur.com/a/YfCXG

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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holy shit it IS a fucking bear. mother of god.

[–][deleted] 250 points251 points ago

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I think it's a door handle.

[–]PlusSixtoReason 472 points473 points ago

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Wow, that looks just like a fucking bear.

[–]drell_ 248 points249 points ago

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Your house doesn't have tiny bear face door handles?

[–]PlusSixtoReason 231 points232 points ago

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It will in a few days.

[–]tyl3rdurden 64 points65 points ago

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Here is a link from someone related to OP. It is a bear but its just a statue. http://imgur.com/a/YfCXG

[–]chaunymony 44 points45 points ago

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Except it's not a bear but a statue of a Mt. lion. :)

(i still gave you an upvote for your excellent detective skillz)

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points ago

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door handle is on the other door... that is something outside.

[–]ioneeuropa 96 points97 points ago

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yeah. a bear.

[–]Xantodas 14 points15 points ago

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Looks like a bear head to me.

[–]Lilday 12 points13 points ago

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I'm thinking bear. Why would there be a door handle only on the outside?

Also it looks like the door slides from right to left, and that would be a pretty low door handle.

[–]yer_momma 28 points29 points ago

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TIL: they apparently put door handles on sliding doors

[–]SixInTheStix 78 points79 points ago*

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There is definitely something not right about this picture. First of all, that IS a bear in the background. Second, that is an extremely old lion. (look at the poor condition of the hind paws and the turned out hips). It's very unlikely this cat would survive in the wild long enough to get to this age.

If I was a betting man....I would say that these animals reside at some type of wild animal rescue/reserve location. There are tons of these types of places throughout the west. They take in abandoned exotic pets as well as old/injured animals. There's no way that cat would be anywhere near that bear in nature.

Edit I stand corrected. I retract all of my baseless assumptions.

[–]eatmeat 82 points83 points ago*

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This picture was taken in my neighborhood last week. We don't live in a wild animal reserve, just the mountains right outside of Boulder, a little neighborhood called Pinebrook Hills. The thing in the background is a statue of a mountain lion in the yard. Also, there were two lions in the yard last week. the photo you are looking at is of the older lion, who might be the mother of this younger, smaller one. Here are some more photos: http://imgur.com/a/YfCXG Originally posted here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/pinebrookhills/message/3847

[–]aWombat 18 points19 points ago

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God, those are some beautiful creatures.

[–]SixInTheStix 7 points8 points ago

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Haha! This is awesome! You have to admit the head on that statue kinda' does look like a black bear in the fuzzy picture.

Thanks for clearing things up!

[–]junkfoodvegetarian 47 points48 points ago

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It's very unlikely this cat would survive in the wild long enough to get to this age.

Especially with that bear stalking it....

[–]bluemeep 15 points16 points ago

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Metaphorically speaking, aren't we all being stalked by our own personal bears?

[–]renbo 8 points9 points ago

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yea i think something like that is going on, but i think you had one part backwards, i dont think a bear would be that near a cougar... well not a black bear wich is what the picture looks like

[–]SeaWaveGreg 11 points12 points ago

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[–]sigma89 5 points6 points ago*

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I respect that you are testing XP against the element. I'm not sure how much more it can take before it becomes obsolete though.

[–]TheNoKarmaComment 15 points16 points ago

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It's a fucking bear!

[–]Xoebe 107 points108 points ago

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I had always sort of figured mountain lions weren't that scary. Then a couple of years ago, my son's Cub Scout pack master killed a 180 pound mountain lion. It had been killing goats on his farm, so it was a legal kill, and he still had to jump through a few legal hoops after the fact.

He had this cat in the back of his pickup truck, and it was huuuge. I climbed up in the truck bed, saw the size of the paws - about 8" across - and deep down inside my soul, something squirmed in ancient fear. It was truly a weird experience, and I now have no desire to go face to face with a live one.

[–]ayesee 66 points67 points ago

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deep down inside my soul, something squirmed in ancient fear.

Fantastically said, and something to which all of us, through our common genetic and evolutionary lineage, can appreciate on one level or another.

[–]wadcann 3 points4 points ago*

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Fantastically said, and something to which all of us, through our common genetic and evolutionary lineage, can appreciate on one level or another.

Given the evolutionary success of mountain lions versus humans when the two come into close conflict, I'd think that they'd be the ones to feel a twinge.

Yeah, that mountain lion could probably carve up a lone, unarmed person, given the advantage of surprise, without much trouble. That would work once or twice.

The problem is, humans are not only the top predator on the planet, but also pack animals. If you're a mountain lion and you start munching on humans, you've got pretty good odds that the next time you go out in search of some tasty humans, you're going to eat a spear or something. Yeah, a mountain lion's got sharp claws on each of four feet and can sprint 40 miles per hour. That's pretty impressive, in one sense.

However, humans have:

  • Long had a "claw" (spear, or more primitive things like stones) that can reach hundreds of feet and physical adaptation to allow throwing it.

  • Can (when in good shape, which to be fair most of us on Reddit probably are not) run just about anything else on earth to ground in endurance. We humans sink heat extremely well from our hairless, thin bodies, and don't overheat during continued existence. Our complicated, awkward balancing on our spine has given us a relentless, tireless, horribly efficient run that can run a horse or deer to earth in exhaustion if need be. We aren't very impressive sprinters, sure. But we don't need to be, because there's nothing that we need to sprint to catch — once we start running after it, it's ours. And there's nothing that we need to be fast enough to run away from, because anything that starts preying on humans winds up very dead in short order, due in part to the other points:

  • if threatened with something that is dangerous to a single human, can (and do) band together in sufficient numbers to bring down whatever is threatening them. If you kill and eat a couple mountain lions as a human, no problem. You just have to deal with dealing with each individual mountain lion. If a mountain lion tries to bring down a human, it may be able to get away with it the first time or two, but after that, it's going to have a pack of very dangerous armed humans coming after it that are far in excess of what it can deal with, and which have much greater endurance than it does.

  • And of course, that's not even taking into account that brain that you've got (beyond very basic tool use and the ability to operate in a pack).

Most animals stay well away from people, and that's for good reason. It's because their great-grandfathers and great-grandmothers did, and a lot of their great-granduncles and great-grandaunts did not and didn't survive to pass on their genes.

If a bear or a tiger starts eating humans, it will be killed by other humans in short order. All part of natural (or artificial, depending upon how you want to look at it) selection.

If you look at guides for how to deal with mountain lions, they tell you to stand up, to raise your arms, not to bend over on all fours — basically, to look as much like a human as possible.

All right, yeah, there are still some things that are almost certainly vestiges of some past where humans were threatened by something dangerous to them. The movement of the legs of spiders, particularly large ones, triggers a strong, visceral reaction in a lot of people, for example. But it's a pretty good bet that that unique, fluid, human two-legged stride, those long arms, free to wave around high above the ground, that hairless body... that probably generates an even greater visceral "oh no no stay well away" reaction in most animals. It took thousands of years, but animals have developed a damned good sense that humans are very bad news.

[–]LiveStalk 2 points3 points ago

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After seeing this several years back, I determined that I would promptly shit my pants if I encountered one in the wild.

[–]aloysiusthird 2 points3 points ago

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This is why I wish scientists would get off their asses and invent the light saber already.

[–]JoeRubbo 122 points123 points ago*

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A girl I served in the Marines with. NSFL

Call animal control.

edit

These cats are known to stalk humans & pets when they get hungry, this cat is obviously bold and not afraid. The cat who attacked my friend was stalking mountain bikers and was not scarred off when others came to her aid after it attacked her. The cat actually got into a tug of war with her body when others were trying to help. They eventually tracked the cat and found that it had killed one other person prior to her attack.

[–]ThisOpenFist 45 points46 points ago

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So cat versus US Marine has officially been done...

[–]JoeRubbo 56 points57 points ago

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cats dead, she is still biking :)

[–]ThisOpenFist 6 points7 points ago

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How did the cat die?

[–]JoeRubbo 21 points22 points ago

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They had to track and kill it, it was suspected of killing at least one other person.

Story

More Info

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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That's sad.

"The Lion didn't go crazy. The Lion went fucking Lion"

[–]ThisOpenFist 14 points15 points ago

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You got me curious and I went looking for ways to defend yourself against mountain lions. First link I found is from a forum:

http://www.survivalistboards.com/showthread.php?t=89571

The first response makes some sense. Domestic cats hate determined enemies, no matter what size, and wild cats are probably not too different in that respect.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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As a doctor, this is porn for me

wait.. no, you know what I mean.

[–]Jschnitzl 3 points4 points ago

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Wasn't she on an episode of I Survived? or I Shouldn't be Alive?

[–]A_Rolling_Baneling 3 points4 points ago

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Several days after initial surgery with husband James Poindexter.

That name would not have been good to have had in middle school.

[–]SubyReeves 3 points4 points ago

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I had friends that used to work at Philmont Scout ranch in New Mexico. Lots of mountain lions out there. The creepiest thing is that they make a sound at night that sounds like a crying child. My friend got tricked into trying to find the source of the noise thinking it was a lost camper. Luckily he didn't find it.

[–]brock_lee 52 points53 points ago

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I had a good friend that grew up in Fourmile Canyon. One day he came home to find a mountain lion eating a deer on his deck.

[–]aumanchi 56 points57 points ago

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South Ga here - my teacher used to live in the boonies and he was walking to a friends house one day, and he saw what he thought was a dog laying on the side of the road in the shade. He didn't think anything of it and kept walking. When he got a little closer, he realized it was kind of big... and not a dog. It was a fucking panther. He stood completely still, and it walked away after a while.

[–]facemelt 15 points16 points ago

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In Georgia?

[–]patchydapirate 39 points40 points ago

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I live in Georgia and there are indeed wild panthers closer to the Florida border.

[–]eyecite 20 points21 points ago

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holy fuck I didnt know that

[–]I_rape_inmates 15 points16 points ago*

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We have them in Florida too. Called Panthers and sometimes Cougars.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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South of Denver, we have mountain lions (bigass, scary cats that hunt deer) and cougars (rich, divorced hot-ish ladies that hunt man...the most dangerous game).

[–]sockpupppet 5 points6 points ago

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I think some people may be confused at the use of the word "panther" here. People more usually refer to them as cougars or mountain lions and think of panthers in terms of the black panther but the golden colored mountain lion is also referred to as a panther.

But yeah, their range extends as far north as NC and I have a few friends who have seen them here in the blue ridge mountains of NC.

[–]nefariousmango[!] 17 points18 points ago

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I grew up in the mountains outside of Boulder. We had a mountain lion looking in our sliding glass door one morning when I was about eight. I will never forget my mom asking, "Why does that deer have such a long tail?" I will also never forget how fucking massive it seemed!

[–]duckduckCROW 40 points41 points ago

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Does your mom take drugs?

[–]nefariousmango[!] 25 points26 points ago

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I grew up outside of Boulder, so of course my parents do drugs. Also, I think she needed glasses a long time before she admitted so.

[–]infidel78 22 points23 points ago

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i had a friend that lived on eight mile road. One day I came home to find him eating a cougar on the couch.

[–]Nadieestaaqui 250 points251 points ago

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She's starving. If she's that close to humans, she's desperate, which means she likely has cubs to feed. The tourist and snowbird neighbors will be losing dogs and outdoor cats.

Your mom's friend should call Dept. of Wildlife, if only to let them know that there's a lion in the area. If they can trap her and find her cubs, they can be relocated to a safer place. Otherwise, one of the dipshit Boulderites is likely to start laying out poison traps when Fluffykins goes missing.

[–]Rhakan 45 points46 points ago*

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This is Colorado. Are you near the mountains? Yes? There's a mountain Lion nearby. No need to be calling the dept. of wildlife, they're probably aware of it already.

[–]Nadieestaaqui 134 points135 points ago

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Well, yeah, no kidding. It makes sense to let them know that there's a lion in the area that's desperate enough to venture into a suburb and walk up to people's back doors, though. Sooner or later, someone's going to see that, freak out, and call the cops. Then Boulder PD will show up, and probably try to arrest the mountain lion for smoking cigarettes in public, or for not buying organic tomatoes.

[–]Spo8 17 points18 points ago

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"Sir, we're going to need you to come with us."

"Please note that the suspect is non-compliant."

[–]paganor 3 points4 points ago

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Did Boulder do something to you? I only ask as a resident..

[–]Nadieestaaqui 6 points7 points ago

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Yes, actually. Every time I go to Boulder, some asshole figures out a way to give me a bullshit ticket, then makes it just too much of a pain in the ass to be worth fighting.

For instance, sitting in a supermarket parking lot (private property), in my own car, smoking a cigarette got me a $150 ticket. A friend got caught doing the same, exact thing, but he was smoking a joint, so his ticket was only $100. I couldn't fight the ticket, because I lived 6 hours away, and you had to appear in person to contest anything.

This sort of thing has happened 4 or 5 times now, so I just avoid the place altogether.

[–]Celebelly 3 points4 points ago

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I'm pretty sure OP said this is outside Boulder not in Boulder. That does not look like a suburb. Living in Colorado, this is what happens, wildlife will come to your doorstep. It's pretty unfortunate that there are these kinds of interactions, for the animals sake (bears in particular). The CDoW will likely put them down, as relocation rarely works. But if this is rural enough the DoW won't even bother as most residents know how to deal with the wildlife (bear-proof trashcans etc.).

[–]Scandie 23 points24 points ago

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This was my biggest fear when I lived in Bailey, CO, to come home to see a mountain lion, hungry and waiting for me.

[–]Nadieestaaqui 34 points35 points ago

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I used to live outside of Woodland Park. We'd see lions pretty regularly. The general rule is that if you see them, they aren't coming for you. If one were hunting you, you'd find out about it 30 seconds after it was too late to do anything about it.

[–]madscientist777 36 points37 points ago

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They mostly come at night, mostly

[–]BarryLincoln 16 points17 points ago

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I had one sneak up on me while I was camping by myself near Cranbrook, BC. in the middle of the night. (During 6 week solo motorcycle trip). I noticed it just before it crouched beside a tree about 30-40 feet away from me. I could just see glowing eyes and a little bit of its face lit up from the fire I had going. Since my knife and bear spray were in my tent, I had nothing to defend myself, so instincts kicked in and I just stood up and squared off with it, trying to establish dominance. It just sat perfectly still, looking right at me. Somehow, in that moment I truly felt I would fuck that cat up if it tried anything. After maybe 30 seconds of this I decided it would be a good idea to grab a hand full of rocks and throw them at it. It flinched. I threw more. It got up and walked away. I watched its silhouette walk back up the hill until I couldn't see it any more.

Then I climbed into my paper-thin tent and went to sleep.

I had an equally terrifying experience a few nights later when I discovered I had set my tent up near the home of a million mice.

[–]Nadieestaaqui 12 points13 points ago

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Ah, adrenaline, that most magic of brain chemicals that will make us throw rocks at one of natures most deadly predators, but run screaming from teensy scavengers.

I was out hiking near outside of Buena Vista one summer, way off the beaten path. I came to a clearing, and right as I go to step around a bush into it, I see her. She looks at me from the bushes, I look back. She stepped out into the clearing, so I unzipped my sweater and held it up above my head to look bigger. She stepped out into the clearing, about to the middle, and just stopped, still staring at me. I took a few slow, large steps back like I'd been taught. Her cub walks out of the bushes where she'd been, walks behind her across the clearing, and into the bushes on the other side. She looked at me for a second longer, then went after it. I don't think I so much as drew breath for 2 minutes, trying to hear her coming back around for a kill, like listening for the approach of Death. All I could do when it was over was pull myself up into a tree, and hold on to it until the shakes and terror passed.

[–]LiveStalk 14 points15 points ago

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Saving her the effort of dragging your corpse up into the branches if she was hungry, very thoughtful of you.

[–]Xantodas 9 points10 points ago

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Ambush predators. It would want to jump onto your back and bite on your neck. If it wanted to attack you, that's when you would know, and not before.

[–]kepaa 18 points19 points ago

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Clever girl....

[–]rsandoval92 3 points4 points ago

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yep, and if they do decide to hunt you, they Will kill you, have a nice meal and save the rest for later

[–]lord_nougat 3 points4 points ago

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+I'm mostly bones and hair and skin, hardly what I'd think of as a nice meal. But then I'm not a big cat, cats are weird.

[–][deleted] 62 points63 points ago

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Ehn. I grew up in forests of Cali, where there were plenty of cougars. Also lived in Boulder for almost two years.

Cougars rarely attack humans, even when starving. I saw one in the wild once, and it fled like crazy as soon as I looked at it.

Starving bobcats, on the other hand, are the devil incarnate. They are evil fucks, and I have no sympathy for those hellbeasts. They will attack anything smaller than a blue whale, try to enter houses, and eat your pets.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]xoomerfy 17 points18 points ago

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wat? NEED MOAR STORY!

[–]DemonOfElru 26 points27 points ago

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Upvoted for "will attack anything smaller than a blue whale."

[–]eastshores 6 points7 points ago

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Hmm.. I walked up on a bobcat near my house. I thought it was a dog, but it was walking strangely and when it turned and stared at me I realized it was a cat. I wondered if I should have been concerned so googled it when I got home. Apparently a 75 yr old man was attacked by one in Florida and he choked it to death. Figured I could handle it.

[–]The_Law_of_Pizza 4 points5 points ago

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Apparently a 75 yr old man was attacked by one in Florida and he choked it to death.

I'm from Florida - don't be fooled.

Floridians are the Australians of America. That old man probably wrestles 16 foot gators for fun on the weekends.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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lived in evergreen/bergen park. walked to junior high every day, once, a bear showed up on our football field, wandered over to the elementary school and they shot it out of a tree with rubber bullets. after that day i carried a pocket knife with me everywhere i went. not that it would have helped much.

[–]moorechez67 6 points7 points ago

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Back off ya hear me! I'll stick ya!

[–]gunslingerzig 4 points5 points ago

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Every day I had to walk up the mountain from the bus stop I constantly fear this.

[–]Scandie 7 points8 points ago

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I never actually saw a mountain lion, but one day this past spring, when my husband and I were getting ready to go out one morning, I had mountain lion tracks in the snow on my car. I freaked out immediately, and my husband, being the man that he is, thought it was the most awesome thing in the world and wanted to go look for it. He was raised in Tulsa where they don't have such things.

[–]omgdonttellanyone 23 points24 points ago

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"You have forsaken your proud lineage, Mr. Snugglepants. The ancestors have sent me here to deliver the snarl of SHAME."

[–]kittyinthewindow 18 points19 points ago

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Steve French! He doesn't make for a good porch kitty.

[–]seehadreddit 13 points14 points ago

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Cool mirror bro

[–]IGottaSnake 28 points29 points ago

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[–]Dadatina 7 points8 points ago

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I'm in looooooooove with your cat, it's gorgeous!

[–]IGottaSnake 28 points29 points ago*

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He is an asshole. A loving, purring, cute as fuck asshole. MCs are too smart, man. I mean, I love him... but he can figure anything out. He works latches, opens cabinets, can open a pizza box in the time it takes you to grab a plate, knows how to hit the button that opens the trash lid, is a nija when it comes to sneaking out the door between your feet or behind your back, gets into the fridge and will get locked in there if you don't look for him when you shut the door, wakes the dogs up at 5am every morning to play tag (which means I have to get up and let them out to pee), destroys bags of bread, and stands on the edge of the water bowl and bounces over and over until it tips, spilling water every frigging where. sigh I love him too.

Also, he was nursed by a dog, so he is really confused. When he is hungry and the feeder is out, he goes to the dogs and rubs on them and purrs. If I get tuna out, he runs to the dogs. Poor cat. And he has some issue where when he purrs he can't swallow. So he will stop purring to swallow and then start again. It is like a motor that keeps stalling out.

When my old roomie moved in I told him the cat was an asshole and he laughed. One week later he is agreeing with me, Kittan is in fact an asshole. His main goal in life when he wakes up is to get yelled at, I swear. In fact, his original name was Shredder but he got into so much trouble that we kept yelling 'kiiiittttaaaaannnnn nnnnooooooo' so Kittan stuck. He answers to 'asshole' too though.

Edit: I got so carried away with his assholiness, I forgot my manners. Thank you! He is definitely a looker. ;)

[–]Zenitram 4 points5 points ago

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I feel ya. My MC learned that the alarm clock wakes me up in the morning. Now when he is hungry, he jumps up on the night stand and paws at the alarm clock until he manage to turn the radio on, then he runs off. Fucker. I have a spray bottle full of water and we battle it out every single morning.

He is orange, 18 pounds and an evil genius.

[–]IGottaSnake 3 points4 points ago

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My girl, Kamekazi, was a big girl. She was bigger than Kittan and even fluffier. LOVED water. Kittan is just curious and not as scared of it, but she loved it. She would get in the sink when you turned it on. Made brushing your teeth a bit of a battle. She would jump into the tub if she heard bathwater running and sit on the edge of the shower if you were in there getting washed up. But I made the mistake when she was first brougt home of feeding her at 6am to stop her from whining. She was sick when we got her, so we crated her over night so that we didn't have kitty poo bomb all over the floor when we got up. Naturally, when she woke up at 6, she wanted out. I fed her to get her to shut up so I could go back to sleep. That 1 day turned into a 20lb cat sitting on my chest at 6am every single morning with her face an inch away from mine, purrring soooooo loud until I got up and fed her.

She also loved Cappuccino. Like, obsessive about it. I finally just stopped putting it down because she would do anything to get to wherever you tried to set your cup so she could knock it down and get some of it before you chased her off. She was this way with ramen noodles too, again, my fault. She never bothered anyone's people food until one day, I had the pot in my hand and was pouring the noodles into my bowl and she jumped up onto the stove to say hi. Well, she jumped right onto the hot burner, came flying off the stove, and I felt terrible... so I gave her some noodles in her bowl. From then on, since she knew people food was a no-no, she would come lay next to you when you had ramen. Then she would roll over with her head in that kitty pose where they look at you all cute like upside down, then roll back over and clean a paw. Repeat this pattern, each roll bringing her closer to your bowl but you are laughing too hard at her ridiculously blatant attempt at getting closer to make it stop. Then, once she is within a few inches, she rolls over, slams her paw into your bowl of noodles, and RUNS under the bed to lick her prize from her paw.

She also used to love to play chase so she would get up on counters or the desk, look at you with her paw next to something, and then push it right off onto the floor. You, of course, get up and chase her. Clean up. Sit down. Repeat.

I still miss her. :(

[–]ProfessorSomething 10 points11 points ago

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You people tease us Australians for living in a country filled with deadly animals. At least we don't have fucking mountain lions coming to our back door.

And you got bears and cougars and lynxes and skunks... I got kangaroos living peacefully a few hundred meters away from me, you got a giant cat clawing at your door.

[–]Pastyourbedtime 8 points9 points ago

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[–]unknownpoltroon 8 points9 points ago

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Granted, the fact that your cat is fucking STARING DOWN A MOUNTAIN LION means I would not fuck with your cat, but damn.

[–]Atomskie 29 points30 points ago

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Its rear left foot looks like it is rotated unnaturally outwards, perhaps it was injured at some point and it never healed correctly. This would explain its obvious malnutrition and boldness. Sick or injured predators are the most unpredictable and dangerous. Call animal control and show them this picture.

[–]snakesandstuff 5 points6 points ago

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Well, quit bing so rude and open the damn door so they can play.

[–]Brif 5 points6 points ago

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I think your mirror is broken.

[–]ubelong2matt 16 points17 points ago

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Skinny mountain lion represents the 99% while the fat cat represents the 1%. Damn corporate fat cats!

[–]Mattyi 9 points10 points ago

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Strange, this picture just showed up in my facebook feed from a friend who's probably neighbors with your mom's friend. Six degrees of separation, reddit style.

In any case, I'm going to ask about the bear that's apparently in the background.

[–]dexter1479 2 points3 points ago

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The neighbors cat is back again! I`ll get the hose...

[–]bossman131 3 points4 points ago

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The cat is as big as the mountain lion, that is one big ass freaking cat.

[–]warmpita 9 points10 points ago

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Someone else just posted this picture yesterday and said it was at their house.

[–]BSin87 7 points8 points ago

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The stray cat problem is a real issue in America...

[–]adi000 7 points8 points ago

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Is that a bear in the background? Look at the leftmost tree trunk. I may be wrong, but that looks like a bear's head.

[–]MsPuffin 3 points4 points ago

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I wanted to move there....

[–]Footballvike81 3 points4 points ago

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It's obviously stuffed. Haha just messing but, Holy. Fuck.

[–]corriek1975 3 points4 points ago

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They are that bold during the day? Holy shit i would never feel safe!

[–]paganmonkeyboy 13 points14 points ago

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skinny = hungry or sick i believe...usually they are nocturnal ?

at my buddy's house outside fairplay (southpark !) he kept the 45 next to the door for when you'd go pee off the deck at night...in case the cats were around. and he had dogs - cats don't care...

[–]alfonzo_squeeze 6 points7 points ago

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Haha you couldn't just, ya know, pee inside?

[–]Redcard911 4 points5 points ago

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Dude there is a bear in the background outside the glass on the very left side. Pretty small but I am damn sure that is a bears head.

[–]ItsTheFeds 8 points9 points ago

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And Brits don't understand why we need our guns.

[–]Reina_Banana_Pug 4 points5 points ago

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NOPE

[–]smarthand 8 points9 points ago

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A big fucking cat by any other name. I personally prefer mountain lion, though catamount is a cool word I had not previously considered. Apparently puma, cougar, and panther are also acceptable.

[–]opkopete 13 points14 points ago

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Ugh. Typical Reddit. A post mentions a mom and someone has to make a cougar reference.

[–]joe7dust 2 points3 points ago*

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Kitty looks real tough behind the glass. Reminds me of a riot shield...

[–]mrakmrak 2 points3 points ago

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...Is that a bear in the background? Its a jungle out there.

[–]muffintopchop 2 points3 points ago

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In elementary school we used to have mountain lion drills where we would all get in a giant circle and yell as loud as we could.

[–]nefariousmango[!] 2 points3 points ago

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I grew up in Boulder Heights (up near the top of Lee Hill) and our neighbors bred Himalayan cats, which were never allowed outside. Their male, Bear, was beautiful, but not the sharpest tool in the shed. A mountain lion had killed a deer in the yard and was camped out there when Bear somehow got out of the house. Their young son ran out after the cat just in time to watch it walk right up to the cougar, rub against it, and end up in its jaws.

[–]mindbleach 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"I don't care how big you look. This food bowl is mine, bitch."

[–]keros04 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fuckin liar this is a repost