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832
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How I feel when I put parmesan cheese on my spaghetti. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by TheKoG

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[–]andbruno 69 points70 points ago

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I really hate when you're at a restaurant, and the waiter grates the cheese fresh. They never put enough on. I can sit there saying "more... more... more... keep going... more..." but it's never enough. Next time I'll just ask them to leave the cheese and the grater, and I'll return it when finished. I love me some parmesan.

[–]funkgerm 28 points29 points ago

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I was at my college cafeteria, and I saw an older-looking professor guy get some mac n' cheese. He then proceeds to go to the condiments area and takes the parmesan shaker, screws the top off, and starts dumping it all over his mac n' cheese. As I'm standing there staring at him in disbelief, he stop pouring just shy of emptying the whole container, places it down on the counter, and meekly says "I really like cheese." It was simultaneously the most beautiful and disgusting thing I have ever witnessed.

[–]boxcarcar 12 points13 points ago

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You had a parmesan cheese shaker at you cafeteria? I knew I choose the wrong school... damnit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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except it wasnt actually parmesan cheese, it was some freeze dried cheese like substance.

[–]funkgerm 2 points3 points ago

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And you know this how?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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i am the cheese king

[–]randomguy0702 4 points5 points ago

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ALL HAIL THE CHEESE KING! LONG MAY HIS CHEESE AGE AND HIS REIGN LAST!

[–]Kubaker1 2 points3 points ago

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LONG LIVE THE KING! MAY HIS CHEESY BLOODLINE LIVE FOREVER!

[–]panicjames -1 points0 points ago

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You know it's bad when the name of the cheese is simply "Italian hard"

[–]tamper 1 point2 points ago

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Italian hard isn't cheese--it's the sausage.

[–]BorgDrone 57 points58 points ago

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Probably because real Parmigiano Reggiano is quite expensive

[–]thebillgonadz 49 points50 points ago

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"Sir, your spaghetti was $12. You have added $20 worth of Parmesan."
"I SAID MOAR."

[–]epicRelic 2 points3 points ago

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"And could I get this to go?"

[–]Xizer 8 points9 points ago

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At the Olive Garden they just keep going until you tell them to stop.*

*This may only be in Wisconsin.

[–]wee0x1b 7 points8 points ago

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Of course. Otherwise you might taste the fact that your dinner was a pre-frozen meal that was microwaved.

[–]DeliciousPi 6 points7 points ago

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A delicious pre-frozen meal.

Their lemon cake desert is pretty tasty, too.

[–]wee0x1b 1 point2 points ago

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I always found it overly salty, the vegetables rubbery, and the pasta was always very mushy. I tried the alfredo once, but it was inedible. Tasted like chalky, reconstituted building materials with a floating of some sort of greasy dairy substance on top. Maybe I got "recycled" sauce that time. Who knows? It's always underwhelmed.

I can count food I've sent back on one hand. That dinner was one of them. (They wouldn't give me a refund, but offered a gift certificate. I gave it to an Italian friend as a joke. He was offended.)

Tastes vary, and everyone's got their own. But if you believe Olive Garden to be delicious, I'd ask that you find a mom-and-pop Italian restaurant near you and give it a try. You might find it tastier eating food that was prepared fresh and actually cooked vs re-heated. And you'll be supporting a small business local to you.

[–]thelandlady 0 points1 point ago

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The only thing good there is the Salad and breadsticks...all I ever get is soup and salad...I have no idea what else they even serve there.

[–]herpichj 0 points1 point ago

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dont get the cheese ravioli,,, its nasty

[–]Imspent 2 points3 points ago

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In our Olive Gardens on the East Coast, they ask you to "say when". They then laugh at your request to "stop" until you say "when". Fuck Olive Garden.

[–]Xizer 5 points6 points ago

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That sounds pretty awesome actually.

[–]runumbra 2 points3 points ago

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I would love to have laughing maniacally at people while grating cheese be a part of my job.

[–]thepowersway 1 point2 points ago

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i had this same thing happen to me in Fargo, ND a few months back. they must teach them this gag in Tuscany.

[–]TokenRedditGuy 0 points1 point ago

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This is true in the Olive Gardens I've been to in California.

[–]olivermihoff 3 points4 points ago

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I went to a movie theater and asked for extra cheese on my nachos. The kid behind the counter began to look scared and seized up saying that they're watching us on cameras. his eyes motioned towards overhead tinted domes. He said there can be no extra cheese, the overlords are monitoring the flow. I casually crept away and went to watch my movie. I never ask for additional cheese any more, or the cheese overlords might kill someone.

[–]whiskey06 6 points7 points ago

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Pasta without cheese is like sex without an orgasm.

[–]Excentinel 3 points4 points ago

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Hey man, Stroganoff's good too.

[–]yParticle 1 point2 points ago

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...which can still be pretty good. Try pasta naked with fresh black pepper sometime.

[–]CommentsFromBeyond 4 points5 points ago

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parmageddon!

[–]foreignsky 0 points1 point ago

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Even worse: I recently learned that I love risotto and have ordered it in restaurants a few times since. The waiter grates for every person at the table, and then walks away before he gets to me.

Are you not supposed to grate parm on risotto?

[–]lupinthe3rd 1 point2 points ago

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Well usually there's already a lot of parmigiano in most risottos (depends on the recipe). So no, you're not supposed to put some on it. I do it nonetheless whenever I can!

[–]Eso 0 points1 point ago

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My Italian father-in-law makes awesome risotto with lots of fresh parmesan in it, then he still has a heaping bowl of parmesan on the table for everyone to add to their own as desired. It's awesome.

[–]FlavorAIDs 0 points1 point ago

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I always ask them to leave the pepper mill.

[–]herpichj 0 points1 point ago

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they would always do that to me at Olive Garden. I would just wait for like a whole minute till I told them to stop, so they just gave me the grater for the remainder of the meal.

[–]karmadogma 23 points24 points ago

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First you get the pasta, then you get the cheese.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Then you get the yum yum.

[–]vteckickedin 0 points1 point ago

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Say hallo to mah little friend, Ratatouille.

[–]Bezulba 1 point2 points ago

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no sorry, the way you do it is like this. You take half the pasta, put on a lot of cheese, take the rest of the pasta, put on a lot of cheese, put on the sauce and finish off with cheese.

No wonder i'm obese :'(

[–]RaspberryV 40 points41 points ago

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wow look at all this flour! he must be making a cake! but he looks pretty upset, it must be because some of flour got on his suit.

[–]PandaJones 18 points19 points ago

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Probably because he started to make the cake and realized he was out of eggs. Nothing like starting a recipe and realizing you don't have a vital ingredient.

[–]IAMA_redditor 17 points18 points ago

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"You wanna cook with me? Okay.

You wanna play chef? Okay!

SAY HELLO TO MISE EN PLACE!"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I would like to see Chef Tony shoot Ramsey in the face with a grenade

[–]skarface6 1 point2 points ago

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pew pew pew

[–]stufff 4 points5 points ago

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You gotta do the cooking by the book.

If you have a messy recipe, your cake will end up crazy.

[–]turinturambar81 1 point2 points ago

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YAYYYYYAUH

[–]RubberPanda21 1 point2 points ago

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Break it down bitch, let me see you back it up

[–]novamute 0 points1 point ago

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Life tip: Applesauce instead of eggs works perfectly in cookies and cakes

[–]smart_ass 6 points7 points ago

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Unless the recipe you are working on uses the binding or rise from the egg. Applesauce will only perform the role of maintaining moisture. You might have to add some baking powder to compensate for the rise.

[–]TheLoveKraken 1 point2 points ago

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Correct, but applesauce can be used in place of fats in a lot of recipes if you're looking for something marginally healthier.

[–]AshsToAshs 1 point2 points ago

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Wait... is this true?

[–]throwitaway488 2 points3 points ago

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Most vegan recipes use apple sauce. It actually tastes very good.

[–]herpichj 0 points1 point ago

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its actually Bisquick. he was making banana pankcakes.... but ran out of bananas..... thats why he looks so pissed.

[–]Kris0r 50 points51 points ago

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THEN YOU CAN CALL ME SCARFACE, SNORTIN MOUNTAINS OF COCAINE

[–]eatmyassbob 33 points34 points ago

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You cockroaches wanna play rough? Okay, I'm reloaded!

[–]Solnai[!] 31 points32 points ago

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THIS IS THE TALE! OF TONY MONTANA!

[–]cornish_cookie 11 points12 points ago

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CUBANO FLAME, WITH THE MIAMI NUTS (Take it home!)

[–]BigGreenYamo 14 points15 points ago

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Got a basehead wife, her womb is polluted

[–]apodesu 13 points14 points ago

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This whole town's a pussy!

[–]mrsande 15 points16 points ago

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Just waiting to get fuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkeed!!!

[–]ckelley87 12 points13 points ago

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Turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile.

[–]spattem 8 points9 points ago

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you complete me.

[–]ShasOFish -1 points0 points ago

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yeah. yep.

[–]Sabbatai -4 points-3 points ago

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It's cock-a-roach.

[–]SolidSnake07 0 points1 point ago

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YOU COOKIN' WITH ME, YOU COOKIN' WITH THE BEST!

[–]Morton_Fizzback -3 points-2 points ago

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Don't call me scarface. My name is Capone. C-A-P-O-N-E. Capone.

[–]jojoko 7 points8 points ago

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real cheese doesn't come in a green can that is shelf stable. use parmigiano reggiano. its not real unless its got the dots on the rind.

[–]perma4 6 points7 points ago

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I only use the good shit on my pasta: Pecorino Romano

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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DUDE KNOWS WHERE IT'S AT

[–]mickel100 1 point2 points ago

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Romano all the way. Asiago works too.

[–]lambcaseded 1 point2 points ago

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No doubt. Parmesan is for amateurs.

[–]Provenzer0 6 points7 points ago

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You snort Parmesan cheese?

[–]TheKoG[S] 21 points22 points ago

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You don't?!

[–]dixinormous 3 points4 points ago

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I'm a recovering Smartie snorter myself.

[–]ColdFusion87 6 points7 points ago

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Stay strong.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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mizithra

[–]wolfmann 5 points6 points ago

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I like to think it's snowing inside and on top of my mountain of spaghetti.

[–]lynsea 15 points16 points ago

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my policy as a child (and still now... let's be honest) is cover the red in cheese until you can't see it anymore.

[–]DZ302 16 points17 points ago

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Then stir it, and then cover it again.

[–]lynsea 5 points6 points ago

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precisely.

[–]Jewelz526 12 points13 points ago

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lol. This made me snort/laugh out loud at work; now my coworkers are on to me…

[–]uptwolait 27 points28 points ago

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You shouldn't be snorting at work.

Unless you're Tony Montana.

[–]TheKoG[S] 5 points6 points ago

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It's not work when you're Tony Montana.

[–]dixinormous 2 points3 points ago

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On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese

I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed...

[–]jacls0608 2 points3 points ago

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Fun fact, actually. The chemically stuffs in this type of cheese actually activate umami receptors (making food taste savory, same reason msg makes food taste better without actually adding much to taste). Seaweed has the same effect, so when you're chowing on miso soup it's the same effect :) I'm sure there's a list of foods that do this somewhere.

[–]MaxPowerzs 2 points3 points ago

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Next time try a parmesan-romano blend. That shit is like Blue Magic.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I dust my plate heavily with the cheese then put the pasta on (sans sauce) and roll it around in the cheese, then more cheese, then the sauce and then lots more cheese on top of that. And I just don't give a fuck.

[–]headzoo 2 points3 points ago

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I used to think this must be an Americanism. No real Italian would put so much cheese on their spaghetti! Yeah, I was wrong. I've seen men born and raised in Italy smother their pasta in cheese. Everyone loves parmesan!

[–]57Chevy 1 point2 points ago

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Relevant.

[–]riferine 1 point2 points ago

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Try using romano if you want a more sharper taste

[–]zeuxo 1 point2 points ago

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u snort parmesan cheese? jokes on u

[–]drewba 1 point2 points ago

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THIS IS THE TALE OF TONY MONTANA

CUBANO FLAME, WITH THE MIAMI NUTS

GOT A BASEHEAD WIFE, BUT HER WOMB IS POLLUTED

THIS WHOLE TOWN'S A PUSSY, JUST WAITING TO GET FUCKED!

[–]mofu 1 point2 points ago

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More like this

[–]pxldev 1 point2 points ago

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Two things better than Parmigiano Reggiano: 1. Pecorino Romano (smells like dirty socks when you grate it, but then BAM when you eat it on your spaghetti) 2. Ricotta salata (Fuck YES!)

[–]GeneralWarts 2 points3 points ago

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H'Okay. You meatballs... come on. You wanna play games? H'Okay, I play with you; come on. H'Okay. Say hello to my li'l fork!

[–]uptwolait 4 points5 points ago

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H'Okay.

What I immediately heard.

[–]suomiTANG 1 point2 points ago

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Parmesan smells like vomit.

[–]shatterly 0 points1 point ago

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This is what I look like after I have fried dough with powdered sugar at the fair ... every single time.

[–]Dolewhip 0 points1 point ago

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Mmmm funnelcake.

[–]Raptorace22 0 points1 point ago

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That's funny, I feel the same way...

...when I'm snortin' mountains of cocaine off of my desk in my mansion.

[–]minorissues 0 points1 point ago

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More like this

[–]hal9005 0 points1 point ago

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Eat all the parm cheese! With Cocaine! bwaawwaa!!!! Thats good!!!

[–]x0rcist 0 points1 point ago

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Hahahahahahahahahaha holy shit /dying

[–]kittyinthewindow 0 points1 point ago

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When I was in junior high, I actually got grounded for using nearly an entire canister of parm on my spaghetti. Yeah, I was a scandalous kid.

[–]kindashitty 0 points1 point ago

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NUMB NUMB NUMB

[–]snufalufalgus 0 points1 point ago

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Insert Gene Parmesan joke for upvotes

[–]tomydakat 0 points1 point ago

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on fire!

[–]Jtownsend 0 points1 point ago

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You feel Cuban?

[–]n3p3n7h3 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck yeah.

[–]Earthmars 0 points1 point ago

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That's exactly how I feel when I eat spaghetti with my parmesan.

[–]MADBAKER 0 points1 point ago

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first you get the order, then you get the parmesan then you get the woman - actually, i don't want the woman. I WANT MORE PARMESAN!

[–]Smug_developer 0 points1 point ago

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Like a Cuban immigrant?

[–]Gecko99 0 points1 point ago

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Try grating it yourself sometime instead of using the powder from the green can. It's like a totally different food! And if you do that, try Romano and Asiago too!

[–]GoSox2525 0 points1 point ago

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i think this is more accurate to powder sugar

[–]gonzo9999 0 points1 point ago

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Just so long as you're not eating that Kraft shit out of the green shaker

[–]haiku_robot 0 points1 point ago

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Just so long as you're 
not eating that Kraft shit out 
of the green shaker

[–]Midwestvibe 0 points1 point ago

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OMG NO WAI! That's EXACTLY how I feel when I do a huge mound of coke!!!

[–]clone00 0 points1 point ago

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coincidentally, it's also how you feel when you do cocaine.

[–]biggles86 0 points1 point ago

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One of those Costco parmesan cheese packs lasts me like 4 meals

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i'm just going to put this out here: parmesean cheese makes pasta taste slightly like throw up and totally ruins the entire experience. that is all.

[–]peakeverything 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck me Parmesan! Fuck me!

[–]FordSVT1 0 points1 point ago

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That's how I feel when I do cocaine.

[–]hatestrings 0 points1 point ago

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That's how i feel after Powder Donuts

[–]Ididerus 0 points1 point ago

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pecorino romano, you're welcome

[–]mcsquar3d 0 points1 point ago

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This is what I feel like when I put a bunch of cocaine in my nose

[–]MooCowMilkshakes 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, that picture is perfect. I always end up asking for a cheese shaker and just dump about half of it on my pasta. Mmmmm.

[–]babyslaughter2 0 points1 point ago

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One of my all-time favorite Reddit threads. Hopefully I'm not so late to the party that no one sees this:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cfjez/dear_reddit_my_roommate_eats_only_pasta_and/

[–]heretoplay 0 points1 point ago

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When I was a kid I would cover a plate in parmesan cheese and suck it up with a straw. I love it by itself.

[–]elizabethmeredith 0 points1 point ago

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You use powdered parmesan? Did you get it out of a plastic jug? Ugh - I can't even.

[–]sabiisrad 0 points1 point ago

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charlie sheen reference.

[–]skarface6 0 points1 point ago

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You feel like scarface? Weirdo.

[–]doughiswhatigot 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why this is so funny but I have laughed at it a multitude of times today.

[–]doughiswhatigot 0 points1 point ago

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And each time I have mimicked his posture & facial expression.

[–]rPremo 0 points1 point ago

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i lol'ed!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I always get strange looks when I put on parmesan. And it still never feels like enough.

[–]mustardstem 0 points1 point ago

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You know what you are? You're a fucking cockroach. Who the fuck are you to compare yourself against Tony Montana? You're a fucking nobody talking about parmesan cheese. Tony is too good for you you fucking Chazzer.

[–]LoRez 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe slow down a bit.

[–]kukkuzejt -2 points-1 points ago

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How I feel when I don't put parmesan on my spaghetti.

[–]Wandelation 0 points1 point ago

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Am I the only one who hates parmesan cheese? Feels like it a lot of the time.

[–]HumerousMoniker 1 point2 points ago

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I also hate parmesan cheese.

[–]Fri3dric3 0 points1 point ago

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Would you like a little Pasta with your Parm?

[–]swbooking -1 points0 points ago

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Screw parmesan... Its all about sour cream.

[–]S0lidState -2 points-1 points ago

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For some reason, to me pasta without parmesan and bread feels wrong

[–]S0lidState -2 points-1 points ago

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For some reason, to me pasta without parmesan and bread feels wrong

[–]Phage0070 -2 points-1 points ago

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Parmesan cheese smells like vomit.

No, really.

[–]Hellenomania 0 points1 point ago

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You've never had real Parmesan.

You are in for a world of WTF have I been missing out on when you try real parmesan.

It costs about $57 a kilo, $6 per hundred grams, so a your normal can of Parmesan from your craptacular super market should cost around $20 and not $2.50.

[–]Phage0070 0 points1 point ago

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Both Parmesan cheese and vomit contain Butyric acid, a product of anaerobic fermentation. It has an unpleasant smell, acrid taste, and sweetish aftertaste.

Parmesan cheese smells like vomit because you are smelling the same chemical. Undoubtedly the other ingredients of $57 per kilo Parmesan cheese are a better accompaniment than the contents of someone's colon, so I wouldn't say the smells are indistinguishable. But Parmesan does smell like vomit.

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