this post was submitted on
386 points (56% like it)
1,591 up votes 1,205 down votes

funny

subscribe2,531,757 readers

6,609 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 121 comments

[–]PedroElOzo 98 points99 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Good, that little douche shouldn't have been doing that.

[–]EdwardRMeow 29 points30 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I remember being in the marching band and subsequent drum corps and having people trying to "break ranks" by walking in between us. We were taught to, and commended for, not letting ANY one through by any means necessary.

[–]xpinchx 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah I came here to say this, thanks for putting it better than I could have. Mots people that never marched just don't get it, but DCI/marching band has strong military roots and breaking rank is something you just don't do. It was funny being a 14 year old in drum corps and basically telling people to fuck off as they tried to cut through our ranks.

[–]EdwardRMeow 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We were encouraged to hurt people if they tried haha.

[–]leebird 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We didn't even let our own staff through the battery. You're the quad tech? Too bad, you should know better, asshole. Almost as fun as taking out judges on the field. I was the only person who managed to do that in my corps when I marched, and it was completely BS too. The guard judge was standing in front of my xylophone on the sideline, so I tackled him. Almost made me miss my part, too.

[–]gnarlysaurus 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Too bad, you should know better, asshole.

This sentence is the exact phrase I would think of when some douche would try to cut through my drum line while I was in formation. I would swing my Quint drums up to my chest and turn my body, making a nice little gate.

[–]BangBangBeau 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow. You're pretty fkkn hardcore bro'

[–]fusertx -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I remember the Bristol, RI parade on the 4th of July. The parade had stopped and we were standing there. Our aussies were still on so we weren't technically allowed to talk when this guy with a stroller tries to walk through the soprano section. Hector, a multi-year vet, just raises his arm and stops the guy. The guy pushes on his arm and the whole soprano line just turns and looks at the guy. He pushes again when Hector and one of our lead sops takes off their aussies and tell him to go around the corp. The guard and battery in front of us the rest of the hornline behind his, basically he's in the middle of the corps. The guy says, "you have to be kidding me". And all Hector and Chris say is "Go around the corps, please" and rejoin the ranks. The guy stood there in disbelief as we refused to budge. Eventually one of the horn techs showed up and further encouraged the guy to go around because through wasn't an option. Good times...

[–]mysweetprints 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

YEAH. Go get a job you little turd. What are you 6?! back in my day you'd have already lost most of your fingers to the threshing machine you work on.

And get off my lawn.

[–]SmackadoodleJ 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

First of all, the fact that the audience cheered makes me think this kid was doing more than attempting one go at it. Second of all, kids bounce. They can take a fall that would cripple any of us. So fucking man up, stop pussy-whining that the kid fell over, and realize that running through the middle of a performance is beyond disrespectful.

Try it at a local play, performance, or sporting event. Go on.

[–]travisdoesmath 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]djloreddit 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

thanks for that, i loved hearing that the crowd was in favor of the trip.

[–]JimmerUK 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I loved that he did a little bow. Well, as much as he could with a big bastard brass bugle.

(I know it's not a bugle, but I got carried away with the alliteration.)

[–]marktheother 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"big bastard brass sousaphone" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

[–]jlobes 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like to think the guys who let him through did it on purpose so the last guy could trip him in time with the cymbal crash.

[–]willymo 42 points43 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm pleasantly surprised to find all the comments in favor of the sousaphone player.

[–]dnbVice 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sousamophone!

[–]Fuzbag 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He played Sousamophone! It was terrible

[–]RoccoMelonchek 29 points30 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Enjoyed that in a strangely satisfying way.

[–]MistaBig 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's probably just the Jeffrey Dahmer genes in you.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]HmmNoWays 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Kids, they wanna screw with everything.

[–]Emceegus 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As a former sousaphone player that ate shit HARD during a parade, I was pleasantly surprised that it was someone else falling down. AWESOME!

[–]thegreatmunizzle 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Marching in 100 degree heat, in a buttoned up shitty uniform, playing a sousaphone... such hell. That was the worst.

[–]leebird 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The best is when drunk frat douches try to walk through the drumline. When I was in college, our official policy at away games was 'if they're close enough to hit, they probably deserve it.' More than one individual learned that the difficult way.

Obviously, we weren't dickwads; the director was always around us and would try to help someone who actually needed help. But not the drunk douches.

[–]from_the_sidelines 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Military bearing is so much fun with a giant bass drum or set of tenors strapped to your chest.

[–]leebird 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I do miss playing the quads. It takes a lot of getting used to, to be at a football game and not playing the drums now that I've graduated. At least my seats are nicer.

[–]Blown_Hard 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

slowclap.....VIOLENTAPPLAUSE

[–]wtfusernametaken[!] 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I hope he and his parents, or lack there of, learned a lesson!

[–]SophisticatedVagrant 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You are cheering for an orphan eating pavement?

[–]davidahall 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Gotta learn not to break ranks sometime, may as well learn early.

[–]Zeydon 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I played sousaphone in band, and I'm proud of it.

[–]desertdogkai 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love the people that watched it laughed and came in here trying to whiteknight. It was funny. lighten up.

[–]CreepyScoutmaster 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Little shit had it coming...

[–]EvilSteak 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't always interrupt a band. But when I do, some bastard trips me.

[–]Smeagol3000 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wanna know where the fuck this little prick's asshole parents are. And if they have shit to say about it go to ImWildBill's comment on the subject.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Could that be an overly aggressive sentiment about this situation?

[–]sarge21 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pretty sure that "we were taught not to let anyone break ranks" is not a legal justification for assault against a small child.

edit: Please, if you downvote me, finish this sentence. The legal reasoning that allowed this man to trip, and possibly injure, a small running child is __________________"

[–]box951 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is it really illegal to trip someone?

[–]pics-or-didnt-happen 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The child is interfering in a military excercise.

[–]tubatitan 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Again, upvote for tubas. The video contains a special bow from the player.

[–]radelaide 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

<bad_arny_voice /> It's naaght a toooba!

[–]thedairyfairy 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

isnt this 3 years old?

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I know people in marching bands "Can't break ranks" and whatnot, but seriously If I was the father of that kid, I'd kick that guy's ass.

[–]kimilu 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What is with the people on this thread?!?!? I get that this kid shouldn't of been disrespecting the performance but one of the players could of just calmy stoped him and told him to sit down. I've never seen such blatant Ignorance any where else on reddit.

[–]MrMackay 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you have to stand there and play a sousaphone, you should be able to trip AT LEAST 3 kids a month.

[–]MissErnst 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If no one else is going to say it, I will:

Sousaphowned!

[–]N-Aero 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Head first!

[–]moolieboy 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

excellent. Kid deserved it.

[–]Mrmeat31 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hello sousaphone?

[–]CynicalTyler -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Saxophone?

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]IrishLuigi 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

being dangerously stupid

Oh, I fear for those molycoddled children who won't grow up knowing what pain is.

It's just a fucking trip.

[–]sarge21 -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So it's ok to trip running children onto pavement now?

[–]jooooo 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Uh, yeah, totally. If the kid's being a dick, trip his ass. It's much more effective than telling him to stop being a dick.

[–]sarge21 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do you have anything to back that up with? Or is it just your opinion?

[–]JBHUTT09 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If they're being a brat, yes.

[–]sarge21 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Trick question! It's actually against the law to do so

[–]IrishLuigi 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[citation needed]

Also, you're clearly overreacting.

[–]Frekavichk 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You do not break the ranks of any Corps or Marching Band.

[–]sarge21 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why not? Is it the law?

[–]JBHUTT09 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's an unwritten law, a matter of respect. BesidesThe ctild's parents should have been keeping an eye on him so that he wouldn't do something like this. And if you're concerned about the child's welfare, don't be. I took worse falls than that as a kid (including one going down a hill on a bike at about 20mph) and all I got was a few scrapes and bruises.

[–]sarge21 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's an unwritten law, a matter of respect.

So, no, it's not a law. It's just your opinion.

BesidesThe ctild's parents should have been keeping an eye on him so that he wouldn't do something like this.

I agree that the parents also failed here.

And if you're concerned about the child's welfare, don't be. I took worse falls than that as a kid (including one going down a hill on a bike at about 20mph) and all I got was a few scrapes and bruises.

I don't see how this is relavent. Can I throw you down a flight of stairs because some people have fallen down stairs without serious injury?

[–]JBHUTT09 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sure. When and where?

[–]MistaBig 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]JBHUTT09 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The funny thing here is that I know how to fall down stairs safely and frequently do it to freak people out.

[–]jooooo -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's the law of the Band.

[–]sarge21 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ah yes, the highest law of the United States

[–]punt_the_dog_0 -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

how does this gif seem to resurface on a front page 4 times a month

[–]BraveSaintStuart -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's fun to see a band geek picking on someone else.