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794
795

All for one! (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by -iRegretNothing-

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all 154 comments
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[–]hippogriffin 140 points141 points ago

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And nar for whal!

[–]jeffrexsave 7 points8 points ago

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I had the exact phrase in mind. Fast on the draw there, Clint eastwood

[–]TrueBromance 5 points6 points ago

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Came here to say "and one narwhal!" But I think yours was better.

[–]Radico87 -3 points-2 points ago

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that's because it was. /troll

[–]Megatrons_bitch -4 points-3 points ago

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I was thinking more "Narwhal for all!"

[–]tzeak 54 points55 points ago

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It's really weird when you realize a narwhal's horn is actually a giant tooth.

[–]WhenDookieCalls 24 points25 points ago*

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Just had to look up Narwhals on Wikipedia after you said that, and I find this gem. A lance made from a Narwhal tusk with a meteorite iron blade. What. the. fuck.

Its as if some blacksmith finished crafting a lance from a Narwhal tusk and said to himself, "You know the only thing that could make this weapon more badass? If I attached a blade...made from a meteorite!"

[–]greenbird23 17 points18 points ago

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Its, the Lance of a Narwhals tooth! Unique Pole-Arm Two-Hand Speed 1.50 170-190 Damage (120.0 damage per second) +180 Stamina Requires Level 2 Equip: On successful melee attack, instantly burns all mana from the target Use: Creates Feast of Bacon

[–]Black_Apalachi 6 points7 points ago

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We can't trust the Lance of a Thousand Narwhals to a newb!

[–]zogworth 0 points1 point ago

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tis an inuit one, pardon me if this is completely ignorant but are there any other sources of iron up there?

[–]PhanOfAndrew 55 points56 points ago

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I thought narwhals were made up creatures... like unicorns.

[–]dsker 21 points22 points ago

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And warthogs.

[–]PristineGrammar 17 points18 points ago

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and drop bears

[–]Vinura 7 points8 points ago

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And hoopsnakes.

[–]Sutuh 7 points8 points ago

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and furturtles

[–]farcool 12 points13 points ago

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and humans

[–]zogworth 5 points6 points ago

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and haggis'

[–]schugi 47 points48 points ago

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AND MY AXE

[–]boogdd 1 point2 points ago

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AND BREAKFAST CEREALS

[–]Tandembikeforone 0 points1 point ago

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wafflin'

[–]OhNoMellon -1 points0 points ago

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Well played.

[–]ARCHA1C -2 points-1 points ago

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And my ask!

[–]psykulor 1 point2 points ago

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I fucking knew it

[–]Stripes_On_A_Zebra 5 points6 points ago

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And pumas

[–]tfiggs 1 point2 points ago

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And walruses

[–]Renian 3 points4 points ago

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And chupathingies

[–]choppan -1 points0 points ago

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And chupacabras

[–]nograv 0 points1 point ago

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You mean like the shoe company?

[–]dafragsta 1 point2 points ago

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Beavers and rats grow teeth like that, which is why they are always chewing on things. If they didn't, their teeth would grow really long.

[–]cleanstart 4 points5 points ago

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Maybe my teeth are just little horns...

...

...

duuuude

[–]Black_Apalachi 0 points1 point ago

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Horns are made from hair, right? Is there a difference between a giant tooth and a tusk?

[–]BitRex 6 points7 points ago

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Horns are not made of hair; both hair and horns are made of keratin. Tusks and antlers are made of bone.

[–]Black_Apalachi 3 points4 points ago

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I thought rhino horns were made of hair?

[–]BitRex 2 points3 points ago

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No, but that's an often-repeated misconception. They're keratin with some minerals inside. They're unusual in that they don't have a bone core like most horns.

[–]campsun 2 points3 points ago

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Rhinos have horns that are made of keratin (which is also a primary component of hair). Narwhals, on the other hand, have tusks, like elephants and walrusser. Tusks are continuously growing front teeth and primarly consists of dentine.

This comment was more for myself

[–]boogiebot91 25 points26 points ago

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Let us gingerly touch our tips!

[–]ShallowBasketcase 1 point2 points ago

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Just the tip

[–]Entrel 0 points1 point ago

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...and my, um, tusk?

[–]kehrol 0 points1 point ago

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too much unwanted imagery

[–]SubtleMockery 12 points13 points ago

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Tusketeers?

[–]drfishstiks 30 points31 points ago

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How do narwhals avoid accidentally killing one another?

[–]Tfish 24 points25 points ago

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If you believe those deaths are accidents, then the government propaganda machine is working properly.

[–]mudgonzo 4 points5 points ago

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And what do they do if they accidentally get something stuck on their horn/tooth?

[–]JCThunderUp 9 points10 points ago

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THE KING IN THE NORTH!

[–]Mecxs 7 points8 points ago

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Holy shit those unicorns are drowning!

[–]ah18255 12 points13 points ago

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random story: I went to denmark to visit my aunt this summer. I was going to bed on the first night and saw something vaguely familiar hanging on the wall above my bed. "no, it couldn't be" I said to myself. The next morning I asked my aunt and uncle- Indeed, it was a narwhal tusk. It was given to them by a friend from Iceland years ago.

[–]DeadFreshman 1 point2 points ago

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That is not random, it is completely relevant and really cool!

[–]Scarbane 3 points4 points ago

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Don't cross the streams!

[–]Ryanami 9 points10 points ago

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Been on reddit since February, and this is the first time I've seen your beloved narwhal make front page. Not that narwhals aren't the shit, I just never saw you guys act like it.

[–]SomeRandomAsshole 4 points5 points ago

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Sorry to shit on the Narwhal brotherhood and unity-fest or whatever you think is going on, but they are likely fighting for a mate in this photo. Obviously Narwhals lack a bro code. And yes, they do stab each other occasionally, otherwise they wouldn't have a huge fucking spear sticking out of their heads.

[–]harrygibus 3 points4 points ago

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I thought they were antennas for picking up Kevin Bacon's radio show (yes, it begins at midnight)

[–]DigitalEvil 2 points3 points ago

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The Knights of Narwhal

[–]Joseph_Gordon_Reddit 5 points6 points ago

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they are the Jedis of the Sea

[–]trappedkoala 3 points4 points ago

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They stop Cthulhu eating ye.

[–]Darktire 0 points1 point ago

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They've got a kickass facial horn!

[–]cpinney 2 points3 points ago

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THAT LOOKS VERY DANGEROUS

[–]BOXBOXBOXBOX 1 point2 points ago

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I wonder how often narwhals stab each other..

[–]deadboyfriend 2 points3 points ago

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It happens, because they sometimes fight using them.

[–]sonic911 1 point2 points ago

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i thought they were fantasy creatures

[–]GoastRider 1 point2 points ago

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Now let us gingerly touch our tips.

[–]ShallowBasketcase 1 point2 points ago

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He touched my horn with his horn! All over! Head and shaft!

[–]DangerousDetlef 1 point2 points ago

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A picture of a few redditor's circlejerking.. so what?

[–]Aiconic 1 point2 points ago

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How can so many people not know that narwhals are real. Especially when its reddits mascot.

[–]HellaBacon 1 point2 points ago

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and one for whal

[–]pyrrhios 1 point2 points ago

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They're masturbating each other. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narwhal#Description

[–]DMacalmanac 1 point2 points ago

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just don't let them touch your balls http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

[–]jatoo 1 point2 points ago

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Sorry, six months too late. Do you have any ocelot pictures?

[–]Lambontae 1 point2 points ago

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This just makes me think: "its all fun and games till someone losses an eye"

[–]I_eat_Narwhals 1 point2 points ago

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4 course meal.

[–]neonnarwhal 1 point2 points ago

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I will stab you with my tusk while you sleep.

[–]gatsby365 -1 points0 points ago

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it is not midnight. yet.

[–]Steve_The_Ogre 0 points1 point ago

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So I can't bacon?

[–]mcsquar3d -2 points-1 points ago

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What Why is the first midnight and bacon joke all way down here? Who is this new brand of redditors?

[–]xKaiser 0 points1 point ago

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They came from 4chan, which is pretty much were most original redditors ran away from.

[–]jettbalasko 0 points1 point ago

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Hazzah!

[–]kurtozan251 0 points1 point ago

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I haven't those in a while

[–]palehorse864 0 points1 point ago

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Music to watch Narwhals by.

[–]clairestokoe 0 points1 point ago

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They will end us all

[–]Clue57 0 points1 point ago

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And let the bacon jokes commence.

[–]KommunistKirov 0 points1 point ago

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And every man for himself!

[–]pepsiman002 0 points1 point ago

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There is four narwhals this is a quote from three musketeers...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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One tusk to rule them all, One tusk to find them, One tusk to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

[–]notglagnar 0 points1 point ago

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I wanted narwhal wallpaper and now I have it.

[–]runfromtheraptor 0 points1 point ago

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knew this was gonna end up on the front page

[–]neonnarwhal 0 points1 point ago

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My tusk glows brightly to light the way for my brothers.

[–]RdMrcr 0 points1 point ago

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People thought Narwhals are fictional? WTF guys...

[–]heybaydeep 0 points1 point ago

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and one for narwals "drops mouse"

[–]ThanklessTask 0 points1 point ago

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"Spike?" "Yes Rod" "Have you got the horn?" "No, but you do have a point"

[–]pants428 0 points1 point ago

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so.. can we get a relevant rule 34 narwal link?

[–]alcakd 0 points1 point ago

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Canadians eat Narwahl.. BWAHAHAHA

[–]ARCHA1C 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, they are baconing!

Yes it is midnight! (the sun can shine for 24 hours in the northern latitudes)

[–]tfiggs 0 points1 point ago

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Must be midnight.

[–]chetstovepiper 0 points1 point ago

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by buddy hope you find your dad

[–]juansmile 0 points1 point ago

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Narwhals are real?

[–]GyreAndGimbol 0 points1 point ago

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They've come to reclaim what was theirs from old: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6kNxf6axY4

[–]darkotter 0 points1 point ago

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In the zoological museum here, we have the skeleton of a Narwhal which had a rare defect which causes them to have two 'horn' teeth instead of just the one.

[–]WhyNotFire 0 points1 point ago

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Damn you Reddit! every time i see a narwhal the word bacon now pops into my head @#%#@$%!%@^

[–]funetical 0 points1 point ago

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and nar for whal!

[–]55555 0 points1 point ago

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This kills the whale

[–]carpe_deez 0 points1 point ago

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Narwhals make me nairbus.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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one of the coolest picture I've seen in a while... swimming unicorns

[–]rollini 0 points1 point ago

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just picture googled narwhals. why does the internets like bacon so much?

[–]firecrack0r 0 points1 point ago

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Needs MOAR bacon.

[–]youthminister 0 points1 point ago

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What, no bacon too?

[–]startchangego 0 points1 point ago

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FUCK YA, JUST GOT DONE GANG RAPING A DOLPHIN. GOD DAMN!

[–]PersonalityDisorder 0 points1 point ago

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And 5 for a dollar.

[–]Radico87 0 points1 point ago

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Honestly, I think a redditor "all for one" would be more akin to something you'd find on /r/spacedicks

[–]mdrix 0 points1 point ago

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and my Axe!

[–]skyshock21 0 points1 point ago

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How do they not accidentally break those things off?

[–]ilestledisko 0 points1 point ago

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And that's the day I learned that narwhals were REAL.

[–]IrregardIess 0 points1 point ago

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i would be a terrible narwhal i'd always be stabbing my friends. im bad enough already and thats just with my penis

[–]Madmabes -1 points0 points ago

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WHAT ??? I thought these were made up! Had to ask my brother... lol

[–]harrygibus 1 point2 points ago

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I suppose you would be surprised that the sun is a star too....wtf

[–]Madmabes 0 points1 point ago

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Nope. Knew that.

[–]Scythe_of_the_Celt 0 points1 point ago

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This is gonna rape the front page tomorrow, mark my words.

[–]darkpower05 0 points1 point ago

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Picture is on the Narwhal's Wikipedia page.

[–]ptrostli 0 points1 point ago

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Holy crap!

The [k]nights of r/new are narwhals!

[–]burningrubber 0 points1 point ago

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The... 4... Musketeers...

[–]RedCaveTree 0 points1 point ago

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Has anyone figured out what they use their tusks for yet? I remember watching a documentary when I was young and they were baffled about the purpose of the tusk. I can't seem to find an explanation still.

[–]ehazkul 0 points1 point ago

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"let us gingerly touch our tips!"

[–]RobinHood21 0 points1 point ago

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I upvoted you solely because I clicked on the image before reading the title and came back to check what it was expecting to see some bullshit about narwhals, bacon or midnight. Thank god you had the restraint to not mention any of those.

[–]deadboyfriend 0 points1 point ago

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Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean~

[–]here2downvotesexists 0 points1 point ago

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..i think they're fighting.

[–]sketchy_coffee_cup -2 points-1 points ago

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BACON!!!!

[–]timmeh87 -1 points0 points ago

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I wonder if they every accidentally impale each other

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]oblivinite 3 points4 points ago

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I would say it's equally sexy.

[–]SloppyAlbatross 0 points1 point ago

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'had'

[–]Vinura -2 points-1 points ago

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I believe those Narwhals are baconing a plan.

[–]mathatk -1 points0 points ago

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There's no way those things are real.

[–]dddddan -1 points0 points ago

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And bacon for narwhal!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Go fuck yourself.

[–]IonBeam2 -1 points0 points ago

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I still say there's no such thing as narwhals.

[–]Zevenko -1 points0 points ago

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lee-loo!

[–]scrotum_spatula -1 points0 points ago

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Straight from Wikipedia, eh?

[–]richman89 -3 points-2 points ago

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I assume this is midnight

[–]NaturalLogofOne -3 points-2 points ago

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At MIDNIGHT

[–]CrackerRiley -4 points-3 points ago

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Lulz, hey guys, when does the narhwhal bacon?!

[–]illusionweaver -3 points-2 points ago

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The narwhal bacons at midnight!

[–]DeadFreshman -1 points0 points ago

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Narwhals Narwhals
swimming in the ocean causing a commotion
cause they are so awesome, awesome

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