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top 200 commentsshow all 246

[–]TheKeiron 154 points155 points ago

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someones recieving the sword of gryffindor, if you know what i mean ;)

[–]THJahar 49 points50 points ago

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Yeah, he's just got to Slytherin, if you know what i mean ;)

[–]dafragsta 34 points35 points ago

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That tends to happen when your partner gives good Hufflepuff.

[–]AndyKunze 229 points230 points ago

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Ravenclaw.

[–]velvethammer44 59 points60 points ago

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At least you tried...

[–]UncookedGnome 14 points15 points ago

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This is he only one I'm upvoting. I totally expected the other three. Well played.

[–]Brobarossa 2 points3 points ago

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Ouch...

[–]Jinxy_Minx 127 points128 points ago

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I always assumed it was a couple making out.

[–]bvanman 225 points226 points ago

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No, that is someone balls deep inside someone else if I've ever seen it before.

[–]stumpgod 294 points295 points ago

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I don't think you've ever seen it before.

[–]tjtoml 30 points31 points ago

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I really wish I could get the same feeling I get when I jump up and yell 'OOOOOOOH' by upvoting this comment, but it just isn't the same.

[–]steve0bass 21 points22 points ago

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Like this?

[–]tjtoml 9 points10 points ago

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Yes.
on that note
"QUARTZ PARCHMENT SHEARS HAS GONE TERRIBLY WRONG!"
Pops FTW.

[–]kamiikoneko 4 points5 points ago

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really because it looks like 4 footprints on a map to me

[–]bvanman 8 points9 points ago

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You wouldn't understand, muggle.

[–]PsyanideInk 15 points16 points ago

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Ever tried to do it with all four feet on the ground, each person facing opposite directions? That shit is damn near impossible! There are too many feet on the ground for this to be a pee-in-vagee moment.

[–]AlwaysHere202 5 points6 points ago

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Whoever the woman is is on her back, knees bent, lifting her hips so that Professor Flitwick, while standing, can slide in between her legs.

It's obvious.

[–]PsyanideInk 6 points7 points ago

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...I'm not sure I'm disturbed or impressed with your ability to come up with that explanation.

[–]AlwaysHere202 2 points3 points ago

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Just thank you.

[–]GracieAngel 1 point2 points ago

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The feet aren't necessarily on the ground, thats just how life forms are marked on the map.

[–]AllTattedUpJay 1 point2 points ago

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Yup, you can tell by the distance between the heels

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

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House elf and Hagrid.

[–]xeonrage 4 points5 points ago

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worst possible comment to read while drinking. :(

[–]hyphen_ated 6 points7 points ago

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i believe the term you're looking for is "snogging".

[–]vagijn 24 points25 points ago

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It is. Take a look at the official library pictogram for erotic books in the Netherlands:

http://i.imgur.com/9u6sA.jpg

(source: http://www.bibliotheekaltena.nl/Nieuws/Bibliotheeknieuws/Pictogrammen/index.htm )

It's a quite commonly used pictogram. And yes, erotic books are in stock at our libraries. Forget about learning Dutch though, it's a terrible language to learn for non-natives.

[–]BitterDivorcedDad 22 points23 points ago

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Reads something like Middle English + alcohol.

[–]aapiane 15 points16 points ago

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Or German + severe mental retardation

[–]Boodelijre 8 points9 points ago

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As a dutchman I can confirm the above 2 statements

[–]svenM 4 points5 points ago

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As a belgian I can confirm this about the dutch.

[–]Lionheart219 31 points32 points ago

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There's 2 things in this world I hate. People who are ignorant of other people's cultures, and the dutch.

[–]velvethammer44 1 point2 points ago

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I remember a stand-up comedian I saw in college (89-94) and he had a whole routine about the three people he hated: deaf people, old people, and the Dutch. I always wondered if some writer heard it and ripped it or that guy was a punch-up artist on the film. No idea who the comedian was - maybe I'll post to r/tipofmytongue....

[–]deusnefum 1 point2 points ago

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Hating the Dutch isn't weird or uncommon. Plenty of normal people hate the Dutch.

[–]velocity010 5 points6 points ago

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even if you live in the country its fucking annoying

[–]kbdude1988 3 points4 points ago

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true true im dutch and i say its hard to learn xD give me english hurr

[–]grimborg 3 points4 points ago

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(ಠ_ృ)

Waarlijk, ouwe makker!

[–]kbdude1988 0 points1 point ago

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(ಠ_ృ)

Waar verhaal, beste vriend!

[–]TheGreatNico 1 point2 points ago

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I always heard it was the easiest language for english speakers to learn because it was so close to english; coming from german, somewhat more simplified than german, but more complicated than english, well, it has genders, which throws a lot of english speakers, but it being less of a bitch than german.

[–]centurijon 0 points1 point ago

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"Erotic" can mean quite a bit more than just "making out"

[–]buckX 0 points1 point ago

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It seemed similar enough to German I wasn't too scared off by it. After Majoring in German, I found I could pretty much read Dutch really slowly while occasionally having no idea what a noun was.

[–]SamsLames 0 points1 point ago

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Normally I would agree with you, but watch the gif again. One pair of feet surround the other pair, instead of facing them. In your picture, the feet are facing each other while slightly outspread. There's also motion by the feet, leading me to believe that they are either shuffling, or fucking.

[–]gavwando 2 points3 points ago

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...then why do one pair of legs move out and in slightly? lol

[–]iaacp 1 point2 points ago

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That's because it is.

[–]helllooodpr88 0 points1 point ago

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Don't you mean snogging

[–]Jinxy_Minx 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, but 'snogging' isn't the first thing that pops into my American head. haha.

[–]branqon 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, what's so weird about two bloody wankers snogging in the loo?

[–]jezmck -1 points0 points ago

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It would be weird to call a girl wanker.

[–]branqon 2 points3 points ago

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you don't know that one of them is a girl

[–]nickateen 292 points293 points ago

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Emma fucking Watson.

[–]mandyvigilante 206 points207 points ago

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Lucky Watson!

[–]nickateen 40 points41 points ago

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I see what you did there.

[–]mandyvigilante 78 points79 points ago

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It was elementary.

[–]zelmerszoetrop 120 points121 points ago

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Much like Emma Watson when this movie came out.

[–]BZenMojo 40 points41 points ago

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I can't watch a Harry Potter movie older than Order of the Phoenix because it confuses my erection.

And I can't watch Order of the Phoenix because it's two hours of people pointing wands at a blank wall and talking gibberish.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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I just tell myself that I was the same age as her when the movie came out, so it's alright.

[–]HerbertMcSherbert 7 points8 points ago

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Like my friend and Natalie Portman in Leon. People still give him strange looks when he says he found her hot in that.

[–]cold_fire149 6 points7 points ago

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Your "friend".

[–]graveybrains 7 points8 points ago

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His "penis."

[–]zelmerszoetrop 2 points3 points ago

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Hey man, I was 8 when the Professional came out - I don't think I saw it until I was like 10 or 11 but I feel completely justified having a crush on Natalie Portman back then.

[–]Huggle_Shark 40 points41 points ago

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Careful now: we don't want r/wtf removed to protect the greater integrity of reddit.

[–]SirSandGoblin 1 point2 points ago

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/r/jailbait wasn't removed to protect the integrity of reddit, it was removed because it was being used as a child pornography ring.

[–]Drewshua 5 points6 points ago

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I think we'll be fine as long as people don't repeatedly ask for nude pix of her when she was under 18. The issue with /r/jailbait was not that it was pictures of scantilly clad young teen women, it was that it WAS turning into a cp sharing ring. (I don't know if that rumor I heard was true or not.)

[–]MissFahrenheit 1 point2 points ago

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It was confirmed that CP was traded by PM.

[–]CuilRunnings 5 points6 points ago

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It was suggested. The OP on that thread turned out to be a repost from a porn site, and the additional picture he linked was from a man on /r/gonewild. It was taken down due to reddit hyperventilating over itself.

[–]MissFahrenheit 2 points3 points ago

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I stand corrected. I read in the original thread that it had been confirmed, but upon re-examination, it appears that the mod (I_RAPE_PEOPLE) had been speculating, and stated that it most likely had been traded by PM. My bad!

[–]Jataka 0 points1 point ago

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Well, if people asked for these things, would they even exist?

[–]nickateen 4 points5 points ago

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There you go again!

[–]foxpatronus 0 points1 point ago

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no shit sherlock

[–]nickateen 0 points1 point ago

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There you go...

[–]Partheus 39 points40 points ago

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Emma fucking Luna

Aaaawwwww yeaaaaaaah

[–]Tronus 5 points6 points ago

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My cock just pulled a Wingardium Leviosa!

[–]Apropos_Of_Nothing 0 points1 point ago

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[Jimmy Carr joking about Emma Watson][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1RgKskY9W4&feature=related]

[–]Dtkay 2 points3 points ago

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i wish.

[–]nickateen 1 point2 points ago

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We all do.

[–]english888 1 point2 points ago

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Well researched, Sherlock!

[–]nickateen 0 points1 point ago

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It was pretty damn easy, Watson.

[–]kamiikoneko 0 points1 point ago

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looks like a boy

[–]nickateen 0 points1 point ago

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Ok, the guys are having themselves a circle jerk.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Elementary my dear.

[–]nickateen 0 points1 point ago

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Why so many Sherlock comments? STOP IT! haha

[–]xeonrage 0 points1 point ago

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r/emmawatson

...just sayin'

[–]ImageBot 383 points384 points ago

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Relevant information can also be found in the comments here:

This is an automated message. The goal is to link within Reddit to the wealth of information contained in other areas. [FAQ] [Did I make a mistake?]

[–]dannykaya 108 points109 points ago

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Yeah, OP, you got called out on a repost by a robot. By "relevant information," Sir ImageBot means that this is a repost of something from four months ago.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ZeekySantos 32 points33 points ago

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And in completely different subreddits at that!

[–]foundati 5 points6 points ago

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I like you imagebot. I do not like the reddit policy of "locking" old comment threads to prevent further comments and discussion.

[–]livevil999 10 points11 points ago

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Way to go little buddy!

[–]Hypersapien 40 points41 points ago

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They're snogging.

It really would have been funny if both pairs of feet were pointed towards the wall.

[–]FuckingJerk 11 points12 points ago

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They're fucking. Look closely. The outside pair of feet both move out at the same time which isn't possible if both feet are on the ground.

[–]enrag3dj3w 12 points13 points ago

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pivot on the heels.

[–]enrag3dj3w 25 points26 points ago

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also, if the feet arent on the ground, would they appear?

[–]ndchristie 1 point2 points ago

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presumably not, or you'd see floating graphics rather than individual steps.

[–]iaacp 0 points1 point ago

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So because the feet move they're fucking? How do you fuck in that position standing up? Very difficult unless the guy is short. They're clearly making out.

[–]Meowkit 0 points1 point ago

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I don't stand inbetween someones legs when I'm kissing them.

I am however in between their legs when I'm goin down.

[–]iaacp 0 points1 point ago

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Really? With your feet right in between theirs? Please provide an MS paint drawing of how this is done.

[–]Meowkit 0 points1 point ago

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[–]iaacp 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, I commend that! But in my experience, this approach doesn't work too well. However, I guess they would be youngin's anyways... inexperienced and whatnot. You get points for drawing!

[–]feanturi 0 points1 point ago

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In a squat or something? No knee involvement? That must get uncomfortable.

[–]Anticitizen_One 31 points32 points ago

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Looks like someone found the Chamber of Secrets..

[–]FredL2 20 points21 points ago

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Imma let my basilisk Slytherin for a bit.

[–]NOT_VERY_PUNNY 2 points3 points ago

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Then I'm going to poop on you

[–]riddlemetom 86 points87 points ago

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BLOWJOBS IN THE DUNGEON!

Thought you ought to know...

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

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That would be a really awkward position to give or receive a blowjob.

[–]cwstjnobbs 10 points11 points ago

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Unless it was Flitwick giving the head.

[–]zackks 10 points11 points ago

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Aaaaand I'm done.

[–]charlie145 21 points22 points ago

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There is no such thing as an awkward position to receive, even if you are on fire and standing next to a swimming pool you stay there until she has finished!

[–]Jataka 0 points1 point ago

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This would happen if they made blowjobs a part of the Sims.

[–]youwantausername 0 points1 point ago

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Until he has finished?

[–]Dxtuned 6 points7 points ago

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whatever floats your boat or in this case, ruffles your broomstick.

[–]bloed 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, considering it shows both pairs of footprints, wouldn't they both have to be standing?

[–]StrangerSkies 4 points5 points ago

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One of them is a house elf, they're short enough to stand...

[–]Kryz167 2 points3 points ago

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Winky hitting the butterbeer again, I suppose?

The elf gets a few in her and then gets a few in her, if you know what I mean. Nudge-nudge. Wink-wink. Say no more.

[–]thisisntadam 2 points3 points ago

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Nudge-nudge. Winky-Winky.

[–]allonymous 2 points3 points ago

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Those must not be the actual foot prints of the people. otherwise they would not all be the same size.

[–]ThrustVectoring 2 points3 points ago

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A proper squatting position puts the mouth at approximately the correct level while leaving naught but feet upon the ground.

[–]AmberLynn90 0 points1 point ago

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If the lady lays at the end of a bed or something her feet could still be on the ground.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Or, squatting underneath the other person, leaning backwards. That, still, would be really awkward. Very uncomfortable position to try to maintain while sucking a cock.

[–]HerbertMcSherbert 1 point2 points ago

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You have something against loving dwarves?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Even that would still be an awkward position for a dwarf BJ. They'd have to stand under your balls and lean backwards, clutching desperately to the shaft to make sure they didn't fall over.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Even that would still be an awkward position for a dwarf BJ. They'd have to stand under your balls and lean backwards, clutching desperately to the shaft to make sure they didn't fall over.

[–]TeedleJay 1 point2 points ago

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Mmm... Dungeobs...

[–]FredL2 0 points1 point ago

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Slytherin, fuck yeah!

[–]LSDemon 0 points1 point ago

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SILENCE!!!

[–]HerbertMcSherbert 0 points1 point ago

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You have something against loving dwarves?

[–]wynyx 0 points1 point ago

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No, that would have a pair of knee-prints.

[–]iaacp 0 points1 point ago

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Uh,, except the footing makes that impossible.

[–]Biased_Dumbledore 27 points28 points ago

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1000 points to Gryffindor!

[–]ntc2e 16 points17 points ago

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[–]Hyro0o0 30 points31 points ago

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No one said the kiss was on the mouth.

[–]ntc2e 22 points23 points ago

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she was practicing using another's wand.

[–]xROBB0 17 points18 points ago

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'Swish and flick'

[–]CookieMan0 12 points13 points ago

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Eleven and a half inches, springy

[–]BeefPieSoup 10 points11 points ago

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I believe they call that an Easter egg.

[–]spot35 9 points10 points ago

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A fertilized one

[–]Dwayne_J_Murderden 12 points13 points ago

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Wizards do it with their shoes on

[–]FredL2 9 points10 points ago

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And their wands out.

[–]dafragsta 3 points4 points ago

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as well as their robe and wizard's hat.

[–]despaxes 9 points10 points ago

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It's obviously a centaur standing on his tiptoes.

[–]Aviator 2 points3 points ago

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Except centaurs have hooves instead of toes.

[–]centurijon 1 point2 points ago

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And he'd have to break his legs to get them to bend like that.

[–]cactus911 0 points1 point ago

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It's a centaur with broken legs then! ಠ_ಠ

[–]Knotwood 7 points8 points ago

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"Harry Potter and the Knocking Boots"

[–]reacher 4 points5 points ago

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Engorgio!

[–]Kozbot 2 points3 points ago

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those cheeky bastards

[–]TaiserSoze 2 points3 points ago

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This is how Harry was conceived

[–]ajnabee4u 2 points3 points ago

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Its only natural to show teenage curiosity.

[–]KoDiak99 2 points3 points ago

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He was exploring her Chamber of Secrets, if you know what I mean.

[–]xizorkatarn 4 points5 points ago

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Scabbers in Ron's pocket?

[–]ThePancakeMan 1 point2 points ago

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No, Harry was tracking Peter Pettigrew, who 'became' scabbers, when he escaped Azkaban. (feel free to correct anything wrong)

[–]piratespit 8 points9 points ago

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This is true during the movie, but this shot is from the end credits. Therefore it could be Scabbers in Ron's pocket, but I think it may have been the design team having a laugh.

I think it's Professor Flitwick noming on Professor McGonagall's bush.

[–]TexasWithADollarsign 11 points12 points ago

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"Swish and flick, Mr. Flitwick."

[–]FredL2 6 points7 points ago

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"WHARRGARBL!"

[–]jonny5803 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I could un-read the ending there. It deserves an upvote though...

[–]zap-actionsdower 1 point2 points ago

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Peter Pettigrew was never in Azkaban, and Harry never noticed him on the Marauder's Map as it was confiscated by Professor Lupin (who was the one to notice it).

[–]thisisntadam 0 points1 point ago

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IIRC, at least from the movie, Harry did see Peter on the map, which led Harry to think the map was broken for showing a dead person's footprints. Then Lupin realized the significance of the footprints, and took the map.

[–]zap-actionsdower 1 point2 points ago

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I think you're thinking of Goblet of Fire, Harry saw Barty Crouch in Professor Snape's office on the Marauder's Map, not realizing that it was actually Barty Crouch Jr disguised as Mad-Eye Moody. He showed Fake Moody what he found, and it was him who took the map from Harry when he realized that it could give him up. Lupin took the map from Harry in the third book after he used it to sneak out of the school to Hogsmeade, but didn't notice Pettigrew's name on the map until the end of the book.

...And now I need to go re-evaluate my life.

[–]thisisntadam 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, I may have gotten them mixed up. (I saw all the movies over the last couple years and am just now reading them. I'm on OotP.)

The only thing nagging in my brain still is I thought I remember a scene where Harry says something to Lupin regarding the map like "Fine, you can take it. It's broken anyway. It showed a person who couldn't be on the map because he's dead."

I think perhaps the difference is that I am remembering a scene from the movie, and you are remembering the book better than I am, and the two aren't quite exactly the same. I think in the movie they must have used the map to explain how Lupin knew that Peter was alive and at Hogwarts, because they wanted to Eliminate Hermione having Crookshanks, and in the book Crookshanks was Sirius's main way of tracking Peter at Hogwarts.

But yeah, it's either book and movie differences, or I am mixed up.

[–]zap-actionsdower 1 point2 points ago

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Actually I think you're right, I vaguely remember hearing that in the movie and immediately facepalming myself hard.

[–]thisisntadam 0 points1 point ago

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Hah no worries. Like I said, I think you are remembering the books better than I am, which, all things considered, is probably a better thing to remember anyway.

[–]matlick 1 point2 points ago

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I guess they really do get 'busy' at Hogwarts...

[–]SergeantSlapNuts 1 point2 points ago

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It's when Harry was born. He dropped out with shoes on and had abnormally large feet. Why else would he be locked under the stairs? Freak!

[–]chiefmonkey 1 point2 points ago

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waves "wand"

Seximum Oralus!

[–]proddy 1 point2 points ago

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Took me a lot longer than I care to admit to see it, even with the fucking arrow =\

[–]fancy-chips 1 point2 points ago

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They're banging. what's the big deal?

[–]WordsNotToLiveBy 1 point2 points ago

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Bow Chicka Wow Wow

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

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Dobby passing under Hagrid?

[–]RaymondLawrence 1 point2 points ago

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Hate to nitpick, but does two teenagers going at it really warrant a "WTF?" response?

[–]glamdr1ng 1 point2 points ago

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Mischief managed.

[–]Bayrovich 2 points3 points ago

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That's why Prisoner of Azkaban is by far the best HP movie (though I haven't seen the last one - pt.2 yet). The attention to detail is simply amazing (of course, it's Cuaron), every scene, every shot has this extra detail doing nothing besides making the HP universe seem more magical and compelling, whereas the other directors just fast forwarded the plot with lot's of brown and green CGI in between.

[–]Honztastic 3 points4 points ago

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Interesting take. Prisoner of Azkaban was possibly my least favorite HP movie.

[–]HornyVervet 6 points7 points ago

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I think it's the least faithful to the book but the best film.

[–]Cyanr 1 point2 points ago

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I love that. I've already read the books, so why would I want to see the exact thing I've already read?

[–]Se7en_Sinner 2 points3 points ago

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Somebody's hiding their basilisk in somebody else's chamber of secrets.

[–]foxpatronus 0 points1 point ago

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maybe that was another whorecrux?

[–]frequencyfreak -1 points0 points ago

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It seems to be a representation of two feet that are lined up in a position similar to when a male and female have missionary sex while standing.

Does sex offend your delicate sensibilities? Maybe you're 12 and curious about what it is? Perhaps you're simply the type that can't help but giggle uncontrollably whenever they hear a word like 'tit-mouse' or 'blue footed booby'.

[–]FeatherNET 2 points3 points ago

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Teeheehee <3

[–]big-o-notation 2 points3 points ago

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LOL HE SAID BOOBIES

[–]flukshun 2 points3 points ago

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it's not a matter of being offended...it's the unexpectedness of 2 people fucking in a harry potter movie that makes it WTF

[–]frequencyfreak 1 point2 points ago

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The Marauder's Map is the ultimate 'Big Brother' technology. I would be shocked if it didn't catch people being people.

[–]PrinceofIce 0 points1 point ago

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I agree with this, however the parts with the map and the moving footsteps creeped me out in the movies.

[–]goonerredandwhite 0 points1 point ago

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dare i say it? Blow job?

[–]katsugi 0 points1 point ago

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...too intense to even bother taking their shoes off! outstanding!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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At first I thought it was someone T-bagging a very tiny person..

[–]mcreeves 0 points1 point ago

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Just want to make sure I get it:

Are the footprints supposed to look like coitus?

[–]FrostByt 0 points1 point ago

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Was it two gentlemen embracing?

[–]TubsTheCat 0 points1 point ago

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That is... blatant

[–]afireinside7710 0 points1 point ago

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and someone was walking away from them. looks like someone is earning some extra galleons....

[–]slowhippo120 0 points1 point ago

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Well I guess we can assume Ron gave Hermoine some loving to make her less stressed all the time... No wonder she was relaxed after this part in the movie ha ha.

[–]stellarfury 0 points1 point ago

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BONICUS TOTALUS

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I guess the real question is why are they both wearing loafers?

[–]PeterMus 0 points1 point ago

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I noticed this the first time I saw the movie.

[–]the_dayman 0 points1 point ago

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Surprised no one said this yet, it's actually from National Treasure.

[–]ojolejano 0 points1 point ago

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I see nothing wrong here

[–]supdawg224 0 points1 point ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]treku 0 points1 point ago

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aweSOME!

[–]agranderscale 0 points1 point ago

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I haven't seen a single Harry Potter film, and yet I've seen this gif 90 fucking times

[–]athennna -1 points0 points ago

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This thread again?

[–]maip23 -1 points0 points ago*

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I saw this pic a few months ago and watched a marathon of HP films with my gf and unfortunately it doesn't appear in the movie. :( Would have been a hilarious easter egg though.

EDIT: I meant to say the scene appears in the movie, but not those two foot prints.

[–]kaleidingscope 4 points5 points ago

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Its during the credits of the Third Movie.

[–]shays -1 points0 points ago

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I watched the credits for this and it doesn't actually happen, sorry.

notaltotoftimeonmyhands.jpg