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all 172 comments

[–]ShittingBricks 208 points209 points ago

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Wow...That's a lot of oregano

[–]UDNTNOME 117 points118 points ago

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Hes been cooking pasta for months...

[–]awesomedan24 32 points33 points ago

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He only eats hat shaped pasta

[–]armannd 11 points12 points ago

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Hasta.

[–]couchiexperience 13 points14 points ago

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La vista?

[–]Rixxer 5 points6 points ago

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baby!

[–]MrM00se 0 points1 point ago

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Hasta Mañana?

[–]Boojamon 7 points8 points ago

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Cooking? I thought you baked pasta.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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fried...

wait...oh my god.

[–]StevyJ 2 points3 points ago

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[–]JMaboard -1 points0 points ago

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More like, he's eaten months supply of pasta in an hour.

[–]RichJMoney 30 points31 points ago

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Pretty sure the collective internets agreed that he's a legit guy and we weren't going to make fun of him.

[–]IZ3820 39 points40 points ago

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And that's another month until Ep3 comes out. Thanks a lot, asshole.

[–]Screenaged -5 points-4 points ago

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That was clever! I wish I could have come up with that joke. You should be proud that you were the first person to connect those two ideas into an amusing quip

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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As Dave Letterman recently said, "When you can't call a fat guy fat, the terrorists have won!"

[–]Fusselmaster 12 points13 points ago

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If you mean GREEN PAPRIKA, yes sir!

[–]erodut 6 points7 points ago

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One of my favorite moments in the whole series.

[–]Lurking_Grue 5 points6 points ago

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[–]craneomotor 14 points15 points ago

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Episode 3 will include an update to the beloved Gravity Gun, turning it into the Zero-Point Smoke Manipulator - also known as "the Gravity Bong."

[–]caltheon 0 points1 point ago

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Made me think, wouldn't it be awesome if the Gravity Gun could control liquids. From Dust in Half Life.

[–]ggalitz 20 points21 points ago

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Photoshopped picture?

ANOTHER MONTH

[–]pifarm 1 point2 points ago

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Yea but this was made like 3 years ago so it doesn't really count

[–]Zumbull 69 points70 points ago

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post this on /r/trees , you'll get much more appreciation.

[–]ComicSands 27 points28 points ago

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People that still feel special for smoking weed will upvote anything.

[–]GrilliamG 94 points95 points ago

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Damn, Admiral Buzz Killington reporting for duty

[–]xiphia 8 points9 points ago

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Damn, he's really risen through the ranks.

[–]ToTheMax32 1 point2 points ago

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*resin.

[–]ComicSands -1 points0 points ago

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I used to enjoy r/trees, but it turned into everything that is bad about reddit and started spreading to the front page. Now reposts are practically encouraged, and the top comments are related to memes or "upvoted for _____ lol".

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points ago

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Aww, don't make fun of r/trees, they are just so earnest over there. It's like calling a puppy ugly, it's not even going to catch on that you're teasing it.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points ago*

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...no. That's not why people are so trigger happy with the upvotes. The idea is when you're high you're a very composed, complaisant person. Even if people aren't high whilst browsing the subreddit, they like to keep the feeling going, so they upvote. It's just an attempt to make the subreddit a nice place to be. Go over there and be a dick. You'll get downvoted to oblivion. Be a dick in /r/gaming however and there's a good chance you'll get lots of upvotes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Yes, exactly, that's my feeling.

[–]masterofstuff124 6 points7 points ago

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Drugs make everything better. just that simple.

[–]d7b 0 points1 point ago

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Not our problem some frail minds can't handle the psychedelics our brains are geared to receive to make shit awesome.

[–]masterofstuff124 0 points1 point ago

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But I want every one to try psychedelics, it would chill us the fuck out.

[–]ComicSands 0 points1 point ago

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Get back to me in ten years.

[–]masterofstuff124 0 points1 point ago

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I am well aware of addiction and have my shit under control. I dont willy nilly say this like some Noob as I have been peruzing the psychonaughtic seas for many years now. And in response to my response; when the world weighs a ton, drugs allow me to fly.

[–]gjerdemj11 8 points9 points ago

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so will people who still feel special for playing video games

[–]pifarm 7 points8 points ago

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Its just like r/atheism, r/apple, r/politics, and r/circlejerk

[–]oheysup 1 point2 points ago

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Ohh bro you smoke weed? Me too! That's so crazy. Wanna hang out?

[–]adhsflaskj 1 point2 points ago*

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/trees is an army of 15 year olds that just started smoking. Or at least, that is what it seems like based on what gets upvoted. The quality of posts... damn! Let's just say they are giving /circlejerk a run for its money.

[–]ComicSands 0 points1 point ago

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At least circle jerk can be clever sometimes.

[–]exfirehead 18 points19 points ago

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Thing is... he's such a bloody nice guy noone would bemoan him this amount of 'erb. YOU GO AHEAD DUDE- HAVE FUN!!

[–]KifKif 10 points11 points ago

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Anyone from Seattle is allowed to smoke weed because it rains 364 days of the year there.

[–]Neebat 13 points14 points ago

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And anyone from Texas. Because it doesn't.

[–]RichJMoney 0 points1 point ago

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And anyone from Minnesota because it's cold for 8 months and humid for 4.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]PorcupineTheory 2 points3 points ago

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The difference between convective and stratiform precipitation should be accounted for.

[–]gjerdemj11 1 point2 points ago

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that is an extra 50 days my friend, thats an extra month and a half of cloudy days. And its pretty fair to say that people are not in as cheery of a mood on cloudy days than on a sunny day. So thats an extra month and a half of people being bummed out. I'm not saying everyone prefers when its sunny outside, just the majority.

P.S. I'm assuming your from atlanta, good game of football last night ;)

[–]YawnSpawner 1 point2 points ago

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Cloudy days are the best kind of days. It's a little bit cooler and the damn sun isn't making me squint all the time. I should note that I'm from Florida, it may be relevant.

[–]gjerdemj11 0 points1 point ago

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yeah i'm from Wisconsin, and i'm satisfied with our amount of clouds. I hate the sun just beaming down on me, making my car all s00per hot and shit. But every once in a while who doesn't like to go out and enjoy the sun, so i'm glad Wisconsin is cloudy maybe 65% of the time (by no means is that a scientific fact, meerly speculation on my part)

[–]flaarg 0 points1 point ago

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I guess you have never been in Georgia during the summer when it isn't cloudy and its 100+ degrees and 80% humidity.

[–]gjerdemj11 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not saying everyone prefers when its sunny outside, just the majority.

you are right, i have not

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]gjerdemj11 1 point2 points ago

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True! I wasn't saying that Seattle is the cloudiest city in the country or anything crazy like that (which based on what your saying ill assume is not true lol) i just saying that comparing 150 days to 200 days out of the year is quite the big gap, and shouldn't just be blown off as "thats practically the same thing!"

(and yes, this picture relates to everything)

[–]tairygreene 0 points1 point ago

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the main reason that you are wrong, is that in seattle in the winter the sun rises at 8am and sets at 4pm

[–]drmoo66 -1 points0 points ago

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Canada here. Keep on BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWING

[–]tairygreene 0 points1 point ago

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im responding to the guy talking about atlanta. we all already know canada sucks.

[–]drmoo66 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like whining to me.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]tairygreene 0 points1 point ago

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its not statistically the same at all though, based on the stats you posted Seattle has rain on 55% of days, while atlanta has rain on 41% of days.

how is that the same? its almost 2 months more of rainy days

[–]current_form 0 points1 point ago

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This has been a depressing fucking year for Washingtonians, I'll tell ya'. I could use some weed, and I don't even really care for it.

[–]zxlk21e 24 points25 points ago

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[–]malicart[!] 104 points105 points ago

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Duh...

[–]caramonfire 5 points6 points ago

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Obvious as it was, I kinda wish it were true.

[–]malicart[!] 0 points1 point ago

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Holy fuck, I made a stupid flippant comment and got over 100 upvotes.

Also: I wish it was true.

[–]nerdpox 36 points37 points ago

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No, really?

[–]Iratan 11 points12 points ago

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Whoa whoa whoa, using tineye for something that isn't porn? That's abusing the program.

[–]Physics101 21 points22 points ago

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Stop the presses.

[–]Eminence120 2 points3 points ago

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You're the guy who likes to run around telling everyone wrestling is fake aren't you.

[–]NeoSniper 4 points5 points ago

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While it may be obvious. You have done a good service anyway.

[–]BillV3 1 point2 points ago

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Pull the other one

[–]Yewbert -2 points-1 points ago

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Obviously shopped, but that is an amazing tool, thanks!

[–]armandg 1 point2 points ago

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This explains the free DLC for Portal 2.

[–]test_tickles 1 point2 points ago

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i know that couch!

[–]DAVE_ATTEL 1 point2 points ago

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EPISODE III CAME OUT YEARS AGO, or should I say long, long ago.

[–]rrearleii 1 point2 points ago

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because of photoshop? come on, people, do you really think that GN found a pile of blurry-edged weed?

[–]shutaro 0 points1 point ago

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I hear blurry-edged weed is the best kind of weed.

[–]Twisted_Fate 1 point2 points ago

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But it also blurs your vision.

[–]spiny_dogfish 3 points4 points ago

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brb, investing in Papa John's

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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This isn't weed, its shredded money

[–]4rq 4 points5 points ago

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Huge wait for episode 3. Oh it's only 4 hours long.

[–]thedude8591 0 points1 point ago

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This what I'm afraid of.

[–]4rq 0 points1 point ago

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This is why I find the demand for episode 3 so funny. To me it seems like episode 1 and 2 were DLC. Hell, Duke Nukem Forever took 13 years and was only 20 hours long Ep. 3 has take 4 years and will probably be short. Please Gabe, prove me wrong. Please prove that Ep. 3 will not fit into the DNF ratio of content to time.

I fully realize that a 2 hour Ep. 3 is still better then a 40 hour DNF.

[–]thedude8591 0 points1 point ago

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We must make sacrifices to the Gaben gods.

[–]ColonicIrritation 1 point2 points ago*

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Gabe Newell's net worth is estimated to be $400 million.

Now, let's base the street price of Marijuana in Washington, where Valve HQ is located.

The largest city in Washington is Seattle, where the average price for an ounce of high quality Cannabis would cost roughly $300.

With 400 million dollars, Gabe Newell could purchase over 1.3 million ounces of Marijuana! that's 83,000lbs, 37,799Kgs or 37.8 metric tons of Weed.

[–]shutaro 0 points1 point ago

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At that rate, how is he not dead? o.o;

[–]theantirobot 1 point2 points ago

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He'd have to smoke it all in one sitting...

[–]smiles7272 1 point2 points ago

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That is one ugly couch.

[–]byondthewall 1 point2 points ago

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Ep. 3 of what?

[–]zotquix 1 point2 points ago

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Nuclear Weak Force: The Game

In this game you play a physicist who teaches classes to students, most of whom will never amount to much.

[–]MrGhostGrey 2 points3 points ago

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Half-ounce epitoke tree

[–]lolwaaaaay 1 point2 points ago

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GabeWorshiper1: Hey guys don't make fun of Gabe's weight it'll push Ep. 3 back even further. Makes fun of Gabe's weight anyway. 779 points

GabeWorshiper2: Oh no! Thanks a lot! Now Gabe will punish us by delaying Ep. 3 even more lol! 630 points

GabeWorshiper3: Insert super corny flattering comment about Gabe. There that should fix it guyz lol!1 670 points

GabeWorshiper4: Yeah but insert fat joke here. 900 points

GabeWorshiper5: Insert another fat joke here. 1034 points

GabeWorshiper6: Ups now it's been delayed again so much! damn you two!!!1 ha ha 1280 points

GabeWorshiper7: lol us gamers huh? us gamers

[–]IRCHOE 0 points1 point ago

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What if star wars is just a high-magination of some dude who's tweaking out after watching some star trek?

[–]cantCme 0 points1 point ago

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We all know he isn't going to smoke it. He will be baking a lot of cakes and then eat them all by himself.

[–]chobita11 0 points1 point ago

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What a crack up.

[–]gunt34r 0 points1 point ago

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where the fuck did you get this photo?! i want in.

[–]dabombnl 0 points1 point ago

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Whew... thank god it wasn't another fat joke.

[–]shoegazer666 0 points1 point ago

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English, motherfucker.

[–]shakajumbo 0 points1 point ago

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HO-Lee-SHIT If I had access to that much green.. you lil bastards would still be sitting around playing Pong for all I'd care. I guess we're lucky Gabe is a better professional than me.

[–]aepac 0 points1 point ago

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OMG How many pizzas did this guy ordered???

[–]holyerthanthou 0 points1 point ago

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this explains a lot about his games actually.

[–]gr3yfoxhound 0 points1 point ago

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this is why aperture science did such insane experiments.

[–]Anhedonique 0 points1 point ago

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This image was enhanced using Adobe® Photoshop®

[–]floppycat 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed pretty hard, I'm sorry oh great one!

[–]LovecraftWhiteKnite 0 points1 point ago

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"Worth the wait."

[–]popout 0 points1 point ago

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thats part of the creative process to make the game

[–]FriedMattato 0 points1 point ago

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Well, THAT explains a lot.

[–]jdchmiel 0 points1 point ago

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THATS MY COUCH!!!

[–]Informationator 0 points1 point ago

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Even knowing this is fake, I couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

[–]Sexy_Nerdy_Flanders[!] 0 points1 point ago

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Now we know where the money we spent on our hats are going to.

[–]4rq 0 points1 point ago

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Srsly, how long does it take to make this game. They already told us the plot at the end of episode 2. I'm beginning to think they just don't want to make it.

[–]spoatnik 0 points1 point ago

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Expecting a fat joke about Glorious Leader.

Quite happily disappointed.

[–]removekebab -1 points0 points ago

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So much asspain in comments.

[–]Trodmac 0 points1 point ago

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"I'm the shit, don't tell anyone. Teehee."

[–]AVCHD -1 points0 points ago

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Gabe Newell is awesome!

[–]steakmane -1 points0 points ago

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Must be a slow day on r/gaming

[–]sudin -1 points0 points ago

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"Sshhh, ok shoot but don't you show this picture to anyone!"

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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I was going to make Episode 3 , then i got high .

[–]IHaveThePower -2 points-1 points ago

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Did he overdoze?

[–]weee123 1 point2 points ago

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Cant overdose from weed.

[–]xiphia 0 points1 point ago

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While I don't come with scientific evidence of any sort, I'm pretty sure if you chainsmoked pure weed every waking moment, it would fuck you up. You can overdose on anything, surely.

[–]d7b 0 points1 point ago

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the smoking would make you nauseous. maybe death through asphyxiation, not from THC.

if used orally I am guessing it would be about a gram per kg of body mass (LD50) of pure THC. In other words, impossible unless you had it in extra strength pill form or something which doesn't exist.

as you said, anything is toxic in the right quantity. even oxygen/water/reddit

[–]xiphia 0 points1 point ago

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Famous ecstasy death in the UK, the girl died not from the active agent but from drinking so much water that her organs became saturated and failed simultaneously. Not sure what point I'm trying to make beyond that anything can kill you in excess.

[–]IHaveThePower 0 points1 point ago

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That one was supposed to be sarcasm.

If you could I'd be dead a long time ago.

[–]THEMACGOD -2 points-1 points ago

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Is that all pot????