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all 142 comments

[–][deleted] 124 points125 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]TuckedNip 26 points27 points ago

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happened in columbus ohio too!

[–]nesatt 3 points4 points ago

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Really? So there's got to be some evidence, right?

[–]thedefiant 4 points5 points ago

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feces, good sir, feces. The poop analysis (fecaltology report) will come to prove that suspect A was in possession of evidence B upon further review actions taken by suspect A were caused by a previous inflammation the morning before.

[–]theuserman 7 points8 points ago

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[–]mrsquare 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, probably this video from the front of the cop car.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]PFCDoofles 1 point2 points ago

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they can however use the video to get him on interfering with a police investigation, since he clearly ate evidence. Obviously that's not going to get him as much jailtime as armed robbery, but it's something.

[–]zoidberg1339 4 points5 points ago

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Smart motherfucka'.

[–]poeq 10 points11 points ago

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well that cop was beyond stupid for dropping it in front of his face like that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I've seen em do that. That cop's never seen a criminal eat evidence and I'm willing to bet he never took the same risk again.

[–]hiphophippopotamus 22 points23 points ago

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There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.

[–]Jamy18 0 points1 point ago

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[–]rainmanj9 72 points73 points ago

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Should have done this when they found my LSD....

[–]s3rris 92 points93 points ago

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No officer I'm...

(O - O)

No no no... not the giraffe. Please, anything but the giraffe!

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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False, LSD takes 20-40 minutes to kick in.

/Dwight

[–]TheKeiron 0 points1 point ago

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/Dwight Buzz Killington

FTFY

[–]s3rris 0 points1 point ago

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You win this time, science...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago*

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Also, it's a psychedelic, not a dis-associative or a deliriant so you do not hallucinate or lose world sense.

EDIT: To clarify, by world sense I literally mean you know you are still on this planet. Ayahuasca (DMT) removes you from reality entirely. Ketamine can as well. By hallucinations I mean objects that are not already there. "Seeing things" may be a better way to put it as the visual effects of LSD are much more apparent than the dictionary definition of one formed by heat :P

[–]Soup_Bitch 20 points21 points ago

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no you should not have. have you ever seen slc punk?

[–]cheechw 4 points5 points ago

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Forget that, have you seen Up In Smoke?

[–]Vicious_Seraph 8 points9 points ago

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Forget that have you seen Super Troopers?

[–]BlackestNight21 7 points8 points ago

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Littering aaaand...

[–]skizmcniz 1 point2 points ago

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SMOKIN THE REEFER

[–]adi000 1 point2 points ago

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Now to teach you boys a lesson, me and officer Rabbit are going to stand here while you boys smoke the whole bag.

[–]rolyat99 5 points6 points ago

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That movie is one of the things that makes me proud to live in SLC

[–]thepancakebreakfast 0 points1 point ago

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i mean thats really all you got besides John Stockton. with lake effect and mormons you gotta focus on the good things i guess.

[–]Maxmessi 0 points1 point ago

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Lake effect is amazing.

[–]Jack0Napier 2 points3 points ago

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The lake effect makes the entire valley smell like someone died and crawled into a heating unit for three weeks, added a little skunk death and mixed in a bit of rotten eggs for good measure. ಠ_ಠ Are you sure the lake effect is amazing?

[–]Maxmessi 0 points1 point ago

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Hmm.... To me lake effect only made the snow powder. Hmm.

[–]skizmcniz 0 points1 point ago

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Today I learned SLC stands for Salt Lake City, thanks to the John Stockton and mormon reference. I guess I've been way too high every time I watch it to ever notice.

[–]Wondering_Wandering 0 points1 point ago

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Yes he should have. Have you ever been on LSD?

[–]Soup_Bitch -4 points-3 points ago

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Well, I guess it depends how much he had... I choose not to answer your question ;) It can be mentally harmful for an individual to come into contact with or consume mass amounts of LSD. Most LSD the average user can find isn't manufactured to the highest degree. This isn't an issue when you're talking about a dose or two, even up to around 25. However, if one should consume a sheet, say, of imperfect LSD, there is what is known as "never coming back." That being said, if one takes a thumbprint (crystal contact) of even the purest stuff, the rest of their life will still be... tingly. Don't mess around with mass amounts of it.

[–]stillnotking 7 points8 points ago

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there is what is known as "never coming back."

No, there isn't. LSD is fully metabolized within 12-24 hours and is gone. It doesn't have any permanent effect, except in the (very, very small) percentage of users who experience HPPD, Hallucinogen Persisting Perceptual Disorder, which is basically the persistence of visual tracers or blurring effects. HPPD has no known relationship to dose consumed.

That being said, if one takes a thumbprint (crystal contact) of even the purest stuff, the rest of their life will still be... tingly.

Again, not true.

[–]EmperorXenu 1 point2 points ago

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I would love for someone to say what they think these mysterious psychoactive by products of LSD production are when they assert that they exist. Nobody ever does. Probably because they don't exist.

[–]Wondering_Wandering 0 points1 point ago

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Better than a class 3 felony.

[–]Soup_Bitch 0 points1 point ago

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That's arguable. I see what you're saying, though. I guess both options depend on his plan for the future.

[–]iriegypsy 0 points1 point ago*

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The only real danger is respiratory failure. Oh check this too.

[–]lobbmaster 1 point2 points ago

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What seems to be the officer, problem?

[–]MemoryPalaceJanitor 1 point2 points ago

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To quote my favorite Reddit comment ever:

PERCIVAL, DON'T YOU SEE?! MY HANDS ARE MADE OF THE FIFTIES!

[–]djetaine 11 points12 points ago

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wonder what was on that paper

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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It was a note he used to rob a bank. I saw the longer version a loooong time ago.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]TheAtomicPlayboy 39 points40 points ago

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Kurt Cobain.

[–]Norweigianish 9 points10 points ago

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I think you mean John Coltrane.

[–]cancelyourcreditcard 7 points8 points ago

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I saw both of those guys on Soul Train

[–]rogue780 6 points7 points ago

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They don't hold a candle to Major Payne

[–]geekwalrus 8 points9 points ago

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And much better than Lil Wayne

[–]cancelyourcreditcard 5 points6 points ago

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The rain in Spain stays mainly in the Plain

[–]geekwalrus 4 points5 points ago

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That's a crying shame

[–]mmPete 3 points4 points ago

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I bet it's illegal in Maine

[–]foreverchamone -2 points-1 points ago

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Who got the blame?

[–]fracai 9 points10 points ago

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Aha, he must have built up a resistance to iocane.

[–]collapsible_chopstix 6 points7 points ago

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I'd stake my life on it.

[–]WildKittyv1 5 points6 points ago

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Inconceivable!

[–]vxc 4 points5 points ago

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I don't think they put coke on blotter papers...

[–]GargamelCuntSnarf 1 point2 points ago

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I don't think reddit knows about blotter.

[–]Always_Upvotes_Cats 7 points8 points ago

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You are correct. I have no clue

[–]skinker 5 points6 points ago

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Does anybody have a link to the video?

[–]dmgdpmedic 7 points8 points ago

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Impressive.

[–]Andrilena 21 points22 points ago

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Tastes like chicken.

[–]Chaser007 193 points194 points ago

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[–]nomlah 30 points31 points ago

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I feel I should inform you that upon seeing this gif I started laughing so long and hard things went black.... I just woke back up.... 5 minute have passed.

[–]unholymackerel 31 points32 points ago

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most people don't go back

[–]Andrilena 2 points3 points ago

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What's the matter, Sanderz? Chicken??

[–]ErroneousEric 1 point2 points ago

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Prepare ship for ludicrous speed!

[–]heyheythrowitaway 6 points7 points ago

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[–]flowerscandrink 0 points1 point ago

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Best thing I saw on the internet today. Grats.

[–]Vicious_Seraph 0 points1 point ago

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You sir, are doing it right. Bravo.

[–]super1701 0 points1 point ago

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i congratz you sir for the laughter that woke everyone in the house up.

[–]302toker 0 points1 point ago

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In the words of the last great Colonel Sanders, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."

[–]Secrete_Persona 2 points3 points ago

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Evidence, what evidence?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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he has a lot of paper in his pocket 0_0

[–]midor 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know why but I ate a receipt when it was near my mouth and I was confused as why I would do this. Then I saw this gif again...

[–]joelwna 1 point2 points ago

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Its martin Lawrence.

[–]jguess06 4 points5 points ago

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That would have been way cooler if he would have eaten his recently purchased dime bag.

[–]Al-a-Gorey 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck you, I'm eating this poptart.

[–]Rocco427 4 points5 points ago

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I hardly ever eat poptarts, way less than once a month. And yet I was eating a poptart as soon as I read this comment. Also I don't think I've ever seen a comment about eating poptarts before. WTF.

[–]hiphophippopotamus 2 points3 points ago

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Don't worry, it's just a glitch in the matrix.

[–]Snazzytime 1 point2 points ago

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This is the funniest shit I've seen all day.

[–]MrRabbit 0 points1 point ago

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For everyone who is impressed by his cleverness: he didn't realize that cop cars have dash cams.

[–]Battlesheep 12 points13 points ago

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so? its not like they will be able to tell what's on the paper

[–]MrRabbit 10 points11 points ago

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Robbed a bank. Security cameras. Eye witness testimony from the teller that was robbed with the note.

They know exactly what was on the paper. Now they can tack on obstruction of justice and destroying evidence.

[–]Linktank 2 points3 points ago

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Still hilariously awesome.

[–]MrRabbit 6 points7 points ago

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On this, we agree.

[–]sikyon 9 points10 points ago

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They'll never get that to stick because they can't prove it was evidence... without evidence.

[–]WildKittyv1 21 points22 points ago

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"Sir, if it wasn't evidence you were consuming as clearly shown by our officers' dashboard camera, what was it?"

"Well, you see, Your Honor, my doctor suggested I start including more fiber in my diet and I am a man of opportunity."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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But you can't actually prove what that white object we see on the dashcam is. Because he ate it. Rules of evidence are pretty strict.

[–]WildKittyv1 3 points4 points ago

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It was a joke, buddy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Yes, I'm just continuing the thread. Some people seem to think it would be admissible.

[–]bearick 1 point2 points ago

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Only if you would think it would be admissible for me to do as well...

[–]BlackestNight21 -1 points0 points ago

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"I'd like a lawyer please."

"I invoke my 5th amendment rights"

[–]MrRabbit 9 points10 points ago

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I'm not sure the courts accept "too meta" as a defense plea...

But maybe...

[–]Always_Upvotes_Cats 1 point2 points ago

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Ah. Ouch

[–]Black_Apalachi 0 points1 point ago

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That evidence is gone.

[–]MrRabbit -1 points0 points ago

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[–]Black_Apalachi -1 points0 points ago

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I've seen way more fucked up loopholes than this. Common sense would let me assume that him eating that shit would make no difference, but my experience of how fucked up the legal system can be means I wouldn't be surprised at all if that evidence was disregarded.

[–]MrRabbit 1 point2 points ago

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It wasn't. He's in jail now. And there is no loophole that gets one out of being caught on camera destroying evidence. None.

[–]Black_Apalachi -1 points0 points ago

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Who's to say that was the only shred of evidence? I thought there was CCTV and eye witness testimony as well?

[–]MrRabbit -1 points0 points ago

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I really don't know what point you're even trying to make, but it seems to be something about how you think it was a good idea for him to destroy evidence, and that it was unlikely to be added to his list of crimes despite the obvious evidence that he committed the act of destruction.

And if that's true, then you are not very smart, and this is a waste of my time. If it's not, then you take way too long to get to your point, and this is a waste of my time. Both of those options (and they are the only two) have one common denominator. Let's see if you can figure it out. You've got plenty of time.

[–]riotingchimps 0 points1 point ago

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damn, he just went for it

[–]malice_moose 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why, but this made me extremely happy.

[–]Rickolas 0 points1 point ago

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ahh this gif cuts out the best bit. namely the smug 'i am so fucking sly' look that appears on his faced when he's finished with the noms.

[–]fishbutt314 0 points1 point ago

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I thought this was going to be the one where the cop pulls a piece of fried chicken out of his pocket.

[–]dizzyfingerz3525 0 points1 point ago

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These schnozzberries taste like schnozzberries!

[–]Kertelen 0 points1 point ago

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Free meal!

[–]makemapseveryday 0 points1 point ago

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all-time favorite gif.

[–]Kiwi357 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]Prel -1 points0 points ago

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[–]GaijinFoot -1 points0 points ago

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First time I've seen it. If you don't enjoy seeing things more than once, skip over it.

[–]Kiwi357 1 point2 points ago

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There is a difference between a re-post and a lack of originality for Karma.

[–]GaijinFoot -1 points0 points ago

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karma means nothing. Let them do it, downvote it if you want. I've never seen it and I enjoyed it. Your post is the most worthless thing on reddit.

[–]Kiwi357 1 point2 points ago

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[–]GaijinFoot -1 points0 points ago

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What do you want me to say? If it were reset to 0 I would feel the same. I've never gone out of my way to get karma. Most submitted posts I make are original that I just want to share.

The point is, we use this site. You might have seen the picture or story a good few times. It's better that you ignore it because most people haven't seen it. If most people had, it wouldn't have been upvoted.

[–]Kiwi357 0 points1 point ago

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Most submitted posts I make are original that I just want to share

That's the point I'm trying to make, originality should make the front page, not a re-post.

Here you go, for latter enthusiasts: http://www.reddit.com/r/repost

[–]GaijinFoot -1 points0 points ago

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How about you start a /r/theresarepostonreddit and leave everyone else alone. You are the minority, judging by the voting, so don't ask everyone to change for you.

[–]Kiwi357 0 points1 point ago

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/r/theresarepostonreddit

/r/therearepostsonreddit [FTFY]

It's obvious that you're the only bothered by my idea. You are the 1%, sir.

[–]GaijinFoot -1 points0 points ago

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No-one's even reading this any more.

Also, redditqutte says to not complain about reposts.

[–]zanhoshi -1 points0 points ago

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OMG I knew he was gonna go for it but I expected some kind of awkward, crumbly mess. The ensuing perfect om nom nom made me laugh out loud.

[–]SarlCagan418 0 points1 point ago

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is that levar burton??

[–]chalkdongler -4 points-3 points ago

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This is on the front page an average of once a month.

[–]anthonymckay 8 points9 points ago

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Yet in my 3 years, I've never seen this once.

[–]GaijinFoot 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen comments similar to yours about 3 times in this single thread. And unlike reposts, they're never funny.

[–]NonPermissive -4 points-3 points ago

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You know it's bad when the repost was on national news.

[–]JustPostTheVideo -1 points0 points ago

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Just post the video.

[–]wBeeze -2 points-1 points ago

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That was awesome!!