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top 200 commentsshow all 289

[–]mikhel 195 points196 points ago

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Only in QWOP can you do a backflip easier than a 100m sprint.

[–]do_not_follow 37 points38 points ago

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You're supposed to sprint? I thought the point was to do back flips. And to think, I actually thought I was good at that game.

[–][deleted] 44 points45 points ago

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[–]alexunderwater 54 points55 points ago

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I saw the hurdle at 50 meters and shit bricks.

[–]DarKnightofCydonia 63 points64 points ago

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Just keep dragging it along with your back leg across it as you inch towards the finish line.

[–]rallion 63 points64 points ago

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Just like in real life.

[–]jose_con_queso 6 points7 points ago

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That was beautiful.

[–]KatyScratchPerry 1 point2 points ago

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even he didn't make the hurdle, is it possible? also i find it interesting that i'm genuinely impressed by a video of someone running.

[–]Yeezy-Taught-Me 3 points4 points ago

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Wait, there's a jump at the end of that game? wat

[–]dr_heiter 0 points1 point ago

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Who knew?!

[–]SlapTheBacon 0 points1 point ago

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Indeed.

[–]Hibbitish 0 points1 point ago

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What about a trampoline?

[–]Se7en_Sinner 642 points643 points ago*

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It looks like his legs aren't...

puts on sunglasses

QWOPerating

[–]yawetag12 152 points153 points ago

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[–]down_vote_magnet 96 points97 points ago

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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That doesn't even make sense! She was stuck in an alternate universe by the time the Master came back.

[–]the_circle_game 23 points24 points ago*

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[–]D3PyroGS 0 points1 point ago

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Care to explain?

[–]fr023nske7ch 4 points5 points ago

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Did you ever go to middle school?! Basically, if somebody did that hand gesture below their waist and tricked you into looking at it, they'd get to punch you a couple times on the shoulder.

[–]D3PyroGS 3 points4 points ago

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Nope, homeschooled...

[–]SixFtTwelve -1 points0 points ago

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What country is this preformed in? Here in the US we have nothing like that but it sounds pretty cool!

[–]mazer2002 1 point2 points ago

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What state did you live in? Here in Colorado everyone knows about the punching game.

[–]SlaunchaMan 2 points3 points ago

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Here in Michigan too. But if you can stick your finger through the hole before the person breaks it, you punch them.

[–]mazer2002 0 points1 point ago

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Exactly, but you have to do more than... finger the hole... you've got to break it. If you don't and they happen to grasp your finger before you can get out then they can punch you until you free your finger.

[–]fr023nske7ch 0 points1 point ago

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I live in the US too! I guess it's not as popular as I thought...

[–]Dr_Jackson -4 points-3 points ago

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So much win.

[–]familyturtle -1 points0 points ago

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I'm absolutely certain this novelty account will never grow tiresome.

[–]deputy1389 6 points7 points ago

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[–]donjuantriumphs 37 points38 points ago

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That is actually one of the smartest puns I have come across on Reddit. <3

[–]Mugros 81 points82 points ago

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And because it is reddit, we all know it is a repost and the work of someone else.

[–]koviko 62 points63 points ago

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Yup. This pun is made every time.

EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

[–]Phallic 2 points3 points ago

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Part of the reddit population likes to see the same shit over and over again.

Seeing a joke repeated means that they can feel part of an "in crowd" that "gets it", regardless of the effect the repetition has on the actual humour content of the joke.

That's why the same shit constantly gets to the front page. People care more about being "in" than actually being stimulated by original humour.

[–]donjuantriumphs -1 points0 points ago

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:( what?! Next you're going to tell me Santa isn't real.

[–]RestoreFear 4 points5 points ago

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Santa isn't real.

[–]Teabaginz 0 points1 point ago

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Anything you've ever heard is a rehashed idea.

[–]PleaseDontTouchThat 17 points18 points ago

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...and it's made on every single QWOP related post ever.

[–]punctuation_closer 0 points1 point ago

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)

[–]wittyrandomusername 5 points6 points ago

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That's like being the tallest midget.

[–]ERhyne 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Eso 0 points1 point ago

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Yep, this is a good pun, but I was about to link to that one if you didn't.

[–]random_story 0 points1 point ago

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yes, if only it were actually a pun........ wait, is it?

[–]down_vote_magnet 2 points3 points ago*

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This child literally has the least-physically coordinated legs I've ever seen. And I once saw a kid in a wheelchair at McDonald's.

[–]BlazeOrangeDeer 1 point2 points ago

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Being in a wheelchair doesn't have much to do with coordination, does it?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]deliciouscakeforall 3 points4 points ago

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YEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

[–]ImAFuckingDinosaur 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, you beat me to it.

[–]WezVC -2 points-1 points ago

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How did you think of that one!?

You original little scamp! You're gonna go far kid.

[–]mfanous007 86 points87 points ago

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Looks exactly like my attempt!

[–]mfanous007 62 points63 points ago

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also upvote everything not related to Reddit Civil International War...

[–]SirSandGoblin 5 points6 points ago

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what the hell have i missed?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]GalacticNexus 19 points20 points ago

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Redbreast to Crawfish, Redbreast to Crawfish

Your cover is blown, repeat, your cover is blown

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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You've got red on you.

[–]a_scanner_darkly 8 points9 points ago*

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Walks up to girls in a college bar

''Can i get, any of you cunts a drink?''

EDIT - Seems the Nick Frost quote was lost on people.

[–]ZeekySantos 13 points14 points ago

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Pretend he's Canadian and bam, no one hates him any more.

[–]givequicheachance 20 points21 points ago

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Or notices him at all.

[–]ZeekySantos 0 points1 point ago

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If you're trying to get a screw, you don't need the attention of everyone in the bar.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SaritaM 20 points21 points ago

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As someone who lives in a very touristy place (Florida), I can tell you: we're not the only international assholes. I think the French have us beat, the Spanish don't tip, Argentines are snobs.

The Scottish and the Japanese must just live awesome lives, because they always seem so happy to me.

(Of course these are generalizations and entire cultures can't be pigeon-holed. Except the Scot/Japanese thing. Seriously, I've never seen an unhappy Scotsman. Probably all the action he's getting.)

[–]IAmtheHullabaloo 2 points3 points ago

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I'll venture to guess they're happy because they are Scots in not-Scotland for a change.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]reflibman 4 points5 points ago

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American here - I have, and the people ARE great, despite whatever troubles they may be personally enduring.

[–]SaritaM 0 points1 point ago

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No, but I would happily brave the cold, the rain, the misery, even the (shudder) blood pudding to be surrounded by arguably the world's coolest accent. Well, for a week at least.

And only if I'm not going to have to actually eat the pudding.

[–]FishCake9T4 7 points8 points ago

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99% of Brits cant tell the difference between Canadian and American. You all sound the same.

[–]Aerthis 2 points3 points ago

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Except when saying "out" or "about".

[–]GiantSquidd 1 point2 points ago

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Canadians say eh? while Americans say HAH?

[–]emericuh 1 point2 points ago

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And 99.9% of Americans can't tell the difference between, say, a southern accent and a scouse or geordie accent. If you sit down and explain it to them, they get it, but it's not natural.

Actually, to the American mind, there are only two british accents. Cockney and posh, or more specifically, Dick Van Dyke chimney sweep and Hugh Grant.

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 0 points1 point ago

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Is there actually a difference between the american and canadian accent? I definitely can't tell.

[–]upupandawayfa 0 points1 point ago

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The problem with your question is that there are several accents on both sides.

Americans have many accents from Southern, to New Yorkian(?), and the ever popular, media friendly, western accent (this is probably going to be the most common accent in most professional scenes just because it's the superior accent for communication.)

Canada also has a few accents. Western/Central, maritime, blah blah. Very few people actual say "about" with an accent, in BC it's pretty much western accent all the way, same with Ontario and up to around the coastal provinces.

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 0 points1 point ago

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you would have to be north american to tell one from another. My first language is Spanish and they all sound the same to me. Once I saw this guy in youtube explaining the 20 different accents in the UK, and yet they all sound exactly the same to me.

[–]zanhoshi -2 points-1 points ago

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Many Americans have an accent the rest of us can't stand. It originated in California and it sounds like someone who got a bad tongue piercing whining. Canadians to me sound like a cross between that and native American accents. English muthafucka, do we speak it? Not so much anymore...

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago*

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Try traveling outside of Europe. Europeans are so incredibly rude to Asians that it is unbelievable, especially the French. The worst are the English and Australians traveling Southeast and East Asia. Australians in Seoul are the most obnoxious drunks ever.

Most outrageous thing I heard was when a 40 something Englishman said to a Thai women, "I don't speak your fucking monkey language!"

I don't live in a tourist area of the US, but I'd be willing to bet most tourists don't act like that here. I'd go so far as to bet that tourists, while in the US, respect the customs and methods of the citizens. A favor that largely goes unpaid in their home countries.

And you'd lose that bet. There are obnoxious tourist everywhere.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ilostmyoldaccount 1 point2 points ago

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The French repay that though. They are outright poisonous when it comes to Americans. They make an art of hating them, especially in Paris. Not too fair either. I can't really say anything negative about Americans here in Germany but I do know Germans are told/taught to observe local American customs, same goes for Brits.

[–]a_scanner_darkly -1 points0 points ago

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There are obnoxious tourist everywhere.

Very true, but they are only a small percentage. I'm from the UK and I've traveled a lot and i now live in Thailand. Personally i wouldn't use such broad sweeping statements as ''The worst are the English and Australians traveling Southeast and East Asia'' while i have met cocks from England and Australia in SouthEast Asia, I've also met cocks from all over the world here. On the flip side the number of people I've met from England and Australia who are genuinely nice people FAR FAR FAR outweigh the number of cocks.

[–]23percent 0 points1 point ago

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I think if you travel anywhere, you'll notice people from your own country acting like jerks. If you don't then... well, maybe stop complaining about that meal...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This is stupid. Americans deserve to pay more for shit because some Americans are jerks? Way to stereotype.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]KatyScratchPerry 0 points1 point ago

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Americans just tend to be really loud whether we're being assholes or not, doesn't mean we're all assholes or that there aren't a bunch of assholes in your country too.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]KatyScratchPerry -1 points0 points ago

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was directing my comment at people reading this and not directly at you. and as for your second point, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]GiantSquidd 0 points1 point ago

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Canadians will... It just might be tough to tell.

[–]SinisterKid 4 points5 points ago

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Actually the angst comes from the thought of having to sleep with British women.

[–]Xburger 2 points3 points ago

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In the UK, all an American has to do to get sex is go to Amsterdam.

[–]NotReasky 1 point2 points ago

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Is what!? What do i have to do!?

[–]emericuh 2 points3 points ago*

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Why would anyone want to have sex with a British girl?

[–]x20mike07x 15 points16 points ago

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Because she has a vagina. Same reason as any girl...

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 0 points1 point ago

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yep, that's pretty much it.

[–]Orbixx 3 points4 points ago

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Believe it or not, the diversity of the characteristics of girls in a country with a significant population is quite vast. There is likely several thousand British girls that you would have sex with, without doubt.

[–]emericuh 1 point2 points ago

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Shame they removed your sarcasm detection gene.

[–]Orbixx -1 points0 points ago

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Yeah, because text has verbal inflexions. /s

[–]redlinezo6 4 points5 points ago

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Emma Watson. Nuff said...

[–]apester 5 points6 points ago

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Emma was so much hotter before she became a 12 year old boy

[–]redlinezo6 1 point2 points ago

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For me she could be straight bald. (See Natalie Portman ala V for Vendetta)

A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman. Doesnt matter what she spreads on her face, how she cuts her hair, what clothes she wears. True beauty is always beautiful.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]poobly 1 point2 points ago

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You got the order wrong... I think

[–]mavriksfan11 1 point2 points ago

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Because crooked teeth are kind of kinky :)

[–]iamjakt 1 point2 points ago

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I find this ironic considering how many amercans have dental plans.

[–]a_scanner_darkly 0 points1 point ago

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That's not ironic.

[–]MegaBattleJesus -1 points0 points ago*

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The problem with Americans visiting the UK is, even if we feign a British accent, our straight, white teeth are a dead giveaway. It's a shame really; I studied that characteristic underbite with painstaking detail, but just couldn't warp my teeth into looking like broken glass, so I was easily spotted as an impostor.

[–]Gusfoo 15 points16 points ago

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The problem with Americans visiting the UK is, even if we feign a British accent,

Trust me; you can't do the accent. Many have tried, all were found wanting.

[–]MegaBattleJesus 3 points4 points ago*

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Funny you should say that, because while you're so concerned with the specific affectation of whichever of the thousands of dialects you chaps seem to have, you completely disregard the fact that you've abandoned your own rhotic past (http://dialectblog.com/2011/06/13/americans-talking-britis), and we, in fact, speak more appropriate Old English than most of you. Cheers.

Edit: Fixed link formatting. Errors attributable to American educational system.

[–]scragar 2 points3 points ago

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Do links the other way around.

(title)[URI]

[–]MegaBattleJesus 1 point2 points ago

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URI

TIL.

[–]TurdNugg -2 points-1 points ago

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Doesn't change the fact Americans do shit British accents.

[–]MegaBattleJesus 1 point2 points ago

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And your John Wayne impressions are equally impressive.

:)

[–]mavriksfan11 1 point2 points ago

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Or that we can't warp our teeth to appropriate ghastliness to blend in.

[–]PenorMcLong 0 points1 point ago

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lose some weight?

[–]HooctAwnFonix 2 points3 points ago

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This comment effectively made this thread entirely about the International Reddit War.

[–]emocol 2 points3 points ago

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TIL there are 2-year-olds on Reddit.

[–]Captain_LargePoop 1 point2 points ago

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The key is to inch along on your knees

[–]capnjack78 1 point2 points ago

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In my head I imagined the child saying "SONOVABITCH!"

[–]Corpsman223 -1 points0 points ago

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Mine to. Except mine didn't last nearly that long.

[–]Kib1 50 points51 points ago

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Video clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnkeR-LhDBY I love when he starts to run.

[–]Kruse 11 points12 points ago

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I like how the dog looks at the father like, "wtf is wrong with your kid?"

[–]SANAFABICH 8 points9 points ago

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Oh God, the sound makes it really sad

[–]hobojoe789 0 points1 point ago

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I must be a terrible person because that is what I laugh the hardest at

[–]puadxe 2 points3 points ago

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I love how many of these "my kid is so retarded" videos there are.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago*

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Does the kid have some sort of brain disorder?

[–]mavatark 24 points25 points ago

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this is a great metaphor for me trying to pick up girls

[–]AspectOf 2 points3 points ago

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You spend all of your time focusing on how to kick them squarely but in the end it doesn't work out?

[–]mavatark 0 points1 point ago

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well not really. after i strike out at the bars i end up going home drunk and trying to play football

[–]JimmyCrackCrack 23 points24 points ago

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Even after trying to find "what is qwop" on the page and searching on google I still don't know what that is. I think I was able to gather something about it being a game that is very difficult to control but I don't know this for sure and can't figure out what the letters are initialising. What is QWOP?

[–]T_effect 11 points12 points ago

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This is QWOP. It's a incredibly difficult flash game that uses the Q, W, O, and P keys to control a runner.

[–]kindall 1 point2 points ago

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That does sound incredibly difficult, since I use a Dvorak keyboard...

[–]dhnguyen 9 points10 points ago

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It doesn't matter what keyboard you have the damn game is impossible.

[–]talontario 0 points1 point ago

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how do you... oh never mind.

[–]jberryman 12 points13 points ago

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You suck at google

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]theworstnoveltyacct 1 point2 points ago

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QWOP

FTFY

[–]fernguts 8 points9 points ago

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Border Collie is not impressed.

[–]jondrethegiant 5 points6 points ago

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Probably thinking, "and Im the one who has to wear a leash in public?? Bullshit!"

[–]gosuprobe 10 points11 points ago

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Typical stupid child.

[–]wikipedia-brown 0 points1 point ago

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Went full retard.

[–]wolfio 0 points1 point ago

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you deserve more upvotes

[–]psymon 21 points22 points ago

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Looks like Quade Cooper today.

[–]dr_mike_rithjin 5 points6 points ago

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except this kid actually seemed to have a game plan.

[–]tomllm 2 points3 points ago

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Cooper did better than poor old Slade.

[–]voidtype 1 point2 points ago

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as terrible as his game was, his awesome touch finder at the start is what got us the try.

[–]kueyen 7 points8 points ago

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Showing real courage you ran : -2 metres.

[–]flawlesslylogical 8 points9 points ago

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Yeah, this pretty much sums up my athletic ability.

[–]pixieshit 4 points5 points ago

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METAPHOR FOR MY LIFE

[–]PyroBoy 3 points4 points ago

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I actually successfully ran the 100m run in QWOP. Even if I cure AIDS, Cancer, give all the homeless homes, and make mankind immortal, the 100m run on QWOP would STILL be my biggest achievement ever.

[–]GonzoVeritas 3 points4 points ago

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The condensed story of my life in Gif format.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Future professional soccer player.

[–]_marc_ 6 points7 points ago

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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I remember having a similar problem when I was younger, maybe around 2 or 3, but I figured it out pretty quickly. This kid on the other hand. >_>

[–]jose_con_queso 2 points3 points ago

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I had this problem when I decided I was too old to use the t-ball stand and wanted to instead throw the ball up and hit it. I hit my head, I threw the bat, I think I may have even clipped the dog once.

[–]monkhughes 16 points17 points ago

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[–]Dustintico 6 points7 points ago

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what

[–]reddmau5 2 points3 points ago

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the correct response

[–]mi_nombre_es_ricardo 0 points1 point ago

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lolwut

[–]bjhath 0 points1 point ago

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[–]BarcodeNinja 2 points3 points ago

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It's like when I hit on women: build up, build up, hesitate, hesitate, worry, fluster, GO!

fuck

[–]derphoenix 2 points3 points ago

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Legs? How do they work?

[–]simbunch 2 points3 points ago

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You can almost hear the dad's disappointment.

[–]aliengoods1 2 points3 points ago

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Now that's a future Minnesota Viking.

[–]ACrowLeft06 2 points3 points ago

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Kid's wasted.

[–]SoCo_cpp 4 points5 points ago

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oldest repost ever....was reposted on america's funniest videos before the internet was invented.

[–]bravetarget 3 points4 points ago

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Babies are like little crack addicts.

[–]theilluminati1 1 point2 points ago

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Watching this was a good way to start my day.

[–]random_story 1 point2 points ago

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google searches for qwop

finds out it's a sweet flash game

clicks on link

goddamnit ipad

[–]NinjaWithSpoons 1 point2 points ago

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I could never get farther than this

[–]Eurospective 1 point2 points ago

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For some odd reason that makes me very angry and I hope he hurt himself.

[–]Sherlock--Holmes 1 point2 points ago

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This kid's going to make a great Samba dancer.

[–]sherbertjagerbombs 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Duckysaurus 1 point2 points ago

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This kid is Charlie Brown, I'm sure of it.

[–]Caulfield_Holden 1 point2 points ago

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This reminds me of a home video when I was about that age. I'm just walking along, hand on a table to balance myself. I pull off a piece of paper from the table, it lands in front of me, and I immediately slip on it and eat shit. Would be a great gif.

[–]mommies 1 point2 points ago

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This is me trying to ask a girl out on a date.

[–]TheMackdockery 1 point2 points ago

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I hate watching replays from the Red River Shootout.

[–]coolhand83 1 point2 points ago

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Every time I see this I can't help but think 'that kid is fucking stupid!'

[–]flyingnomad 1 point2 points ago

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This felt like England's kicking ability during the World Cup this year during our first few games.

[–]imonster01 0 points1 point ago

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If upvotes were a car, you'd be over 9000 !

[–]yipperson 0 points1 point ago

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[–]mrvicious 1 point2 points ago

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think i saw this on Amaricas funniest home videos in 2003 :S

n1....

[–]_Dimension 1 point2 points ago

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we are doomed to repeat the past forever. I look forward to the great recurrence of allyourbase in 2045... if I live till then...

[–]jeepbraah 1 point2 points ago

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you have no chance, make your time.

[–]9babydill 0 points1 point ago

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Everyday I'm shufflin' relevant

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Balls are imba

[–]elitexero 0 points1 point ago

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I think someone chews on the windowsill that had lead based paint. Some co-ordination issues going on there.

[–]thetacticalpanda 0 points1 point ago

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Stop, the QWOP, can't stop the QWOP, you can't stop, the QWOP, can't stop the QWOP you can't stop

[–]Peaches666 0 points1 point ago

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Fun fact. Bennett Foddy creator of QWOP was one of the founding members of Cut Copy and is now a PhD in Philosophy and studies human behavior relating to addiction at Oxford.

He's also a super cool guy in person.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Can somebody please play this .gif on repeat while the audio from the "Have you ever had a dream..." kid is playing in the background?

EDIT: I just tried it, and it syncs up pretty wonderfully if you let the football kid play 2 times for every time the dream kid speaks.

[–]GarlicShells 0 points1 point ago

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You don't deserve downvotes, bro. Have a well deserved upvote

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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This post beautifully shows us the state of reddit. Much like Hollywood, the same shit gets recycled again and again with a slight change in hopes no one will notice.

[–]secretagentcock -2 points-1 points ago

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HAAHA dumb kid.

[–]Purplescience -2 points-1 points ago

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Hahaha That is hilarious