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1474
1475

How I felt as the designated driver tonight. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by dizmog

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[–]shelteredsun 318 points319 points ago

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Getting a group of drunk people to your car is like herding cats.

[–][deleted] 102 points103 points ago

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Getting them out while the car remains free of any kind of fluids is a miracle.

[–]Atheistlest 60 points61 points ago

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Best call me jesus then, I just finished my DD shift, it's 5 in the fucking morning. Car is free of fluids.

[–]Fujiwara_Bunta 104 points105 points ago

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Check the trunk.

[–]Trodmac 13 points14 points ago

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And someone pissed in the gas tank...

[–]MardukSlayerOfTiamat 19 points20 points ago

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I shat in the glovebox, you might wanna look into that.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Certain things are better left unlooked into.

[–]Pollo_Bueno 0 points1 point ago

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkES0sdgoVU

[–][deleted] 73 points74 points ago

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Ok guys time to pay your tabs...come on, let's close out...here, let me add up the amount with your tip...no we can't order anymore, come on...

[–]shelteredsun 91 points92 points ago

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It's ok, I've got your coat... and your bag, yes your phone is in there... no you don't need to find Ben to say goodbye, he left an hour ago... no, you do not 'absolutely need' McDonald's right now, come on, get in the car...

[–]xpinchx 51 points52 points ago

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If there's any perk to being DD, it's taking advantage of your drunk friends to buy you breakfast.

[–]Fujiwara_Bunta 46 points47 points ago

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"You hungry man? Cause I know I am."

"No not rea-..."

"Alright, I'll get you some tacos or something."

[–]jbradl 8 points9 points ago

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I could go for some fucking FRENCH TOAST.

[–]zavoid 16 points17 points ago

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They absolutely need a wawa shorti though!

[–]The_Baconing 6 points7 points ago

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I think wawa is an east coast thing

[–]zavoid 6 points7 points ago

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Northeast mostly. Pa/nj for sure

[–]Phraenk 4 points5 points ago

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I call water wawa, what the hell do you guys mean?

[–]chknstrp 3 points4 points ago

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In case you are serious, http://www.wawa.com/WawaWeb/

It's a chain of 24 hour gas station convenience stores that sell soups, wraps sandwiches etc.

[–]Phraenk 1 point2 points ago

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I was serious. This is what we have where I live in that regard.

[–]chknstrp 0 points1 point ago

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Awesome name for a store. Here its either wawa or [sheetz](www.sheetz.com)

[–]mithhunter55 0 points1 point ago

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Wawa, hungy, hundy. Water, hungry, hundred dollar bill. I don't use these actively. Came up with them on day when I was trolling my brother.

[–]The_Baconing 0 points1 point ago

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dont forget maryland but maryland also has royal farms

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 4 points5 points ago

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No but seriously I think that man absolutely needs McDonald's right now.

[–]sickicarus 21 points22 points ago

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Not really, but then I'm a bastard DD. "This trains leaving in 3 minutes, with or without you!"

Only had to leave a couple of them behind one time - now when I say "when!" its a motherfucking race to the car.

[–]AsciiAQuestion 6 points7 points ago

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Might have to try this.

[–]Kratzyyy 17 points18 points ago

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Worth it. I once drove to a club to take my friends home (I just finished work) and they all just threw 20's at me when I dropped them off. Made like £60 that night for driving about 15 miles.

[–]sardinepretzel 2 points3 points ago

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Who else could go for some flapjacks right about now?

Too early for flapjacks?

[–]krislol22 0 points1 point ago

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Bing!

[–]I-Adapt 2 points3 points ago

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I wish I could make this the highest rated comment of all time.

[–]Tyashi 1 point2 points ago

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drunk cats...

[–]moustacherides5cents 35 points36 points ago

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hey, if you were really the dd, thanks. i don't remember the ride, but clearly, i needed it.

[–]thehuntofdear 10 points11 points ago

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everyone needs a moustache ride.

[–]moustacherides5cents 2 points3 points ago

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it's true. i take them, personally, but giving is also a nice alternative.

[–]Black_Acid_Devil 26 points27 points ago

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Why didn't more people lay on the bed??

[–]summerteeth 50 points51 points ago

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They thought it would look totally gay.

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 7 points8 points ago

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But I am sure many men will be happy to be gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

[–]double-o-awesome 2 points3 points ago

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because drunk

[–]PullMyHair 153 points154 points ago

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Hot damn that man is beautiful.

[–]everyone_is_a_robot 36 points37 points ago

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I'm 100% hetero, would still blow him.

[–]ahdookin 25 points26 points ago

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I agree 100% Even with out the suit.

[–]thehuntofdear 7 points8 points ago

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Stalking again, ahdookin? ಠ_ಠ

[–]some88d00d 9 points10 points ago

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HE JUST LIKES NAKED BEAUTIFUL MEN LEAVE HIM ALONE

[–]johnbrady93 2 points3 points ago

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ESPECIALLY without the suit

[–]morphintime 2 points3 points ago

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Nice little anecdote about someones friend 'starfucking' him a while back http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jwlwm/ama_request_a_noncelebrity_who_has_dated_a/c2fqgwr

Highlight of the thread in my opinion.

[–]dexaler 5 points6 points ago*

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What movie is this? Is there a novelty account that tells the title and link to imdb on every picture in bold?

EDIT: Thanks guys!

[–]Loocid 12 points13 points ago

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Inception.

[–]cualcrees 16 points17 points ago

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INCEPTION

[–]spank_the_monkey 11 points12 points ago

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Don't spoil the movie for him, man.

[–]Dupshflayh 0 points1 point ago

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No worries, he'd have to go deeper to spoil it.

[–]TheMadMule 25 points26 points ago

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I don't mean to offend, but who hasn't seen Inception by now?

[–]dexaler 5 points6 points ago

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I've seen it, but I don't remember this scene. The main story I know... other things I forget.

[–]CYRlX 0 points1 point ago

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Me. I haven't seen the entire thing yet. Twice I fell asleep (not because it was boring, just tired as shit) and the other time I became "distracted".

[–]TheMadMule 0 points1 point ago

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"distracted" is code for "I had a person of great interest next to me during the time," so that's forgivable.

[–]JaydeG7 0 points1 point ago

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It's Inception.

[–]TimelessParadox 1 point2 points ago

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I'm straight and I agree with this

[–]bacon_vodka 34 points35 points ago

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Upvote for being DD

[–]L-L-Lame-J 16 points17 points ago

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DD are heroes

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]BrownianGala 45 points46 points ago

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WE NEED TO DRINK...DEEPER?

[–]jeepbraah 12 points13 points ago

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Don't worry, if we die we'll just wake up!

[–]drunkenAmoeba 7 points8 points ago

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Oh I wish that's how drinking worked.

[–]dizmog[S] 3 points4 points ago

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The "kick" I gave everyone was Whataburger. It kinda sorta worked.

[–]nrfx 2 points3 points ago

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It looks like you got away with it this time, GogorThe3rd.

I've got my eye on you though.

[–]double-o-awesome 1 point2 points ago

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i'll just leave this here for you

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]double-o-awesome 0 points1 point ago

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no worries mate!

[–]biggmclargehuge 12 points13 points ago

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did you tie them all up and float them down the hallway to your car too?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Deleted Scene: Joseph Gordon-Levitt drew dicks on everyone's faces while he was waiting in the elevator.

[–]jstarlee 2 points3 points ago

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Probably felt similar.

[–]TimeKillerSP 10 points11 points ago

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coolest motherfucker in the movie?

[–]Paxjax 2 points3 points ago

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Indeed.

[–]mypetridish 1 point2 points ago

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i thought Eames was cooler. he pulled all jokes on this DD dude

[–]sarcastic_bastard 11 points12 points ago

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It's not hardcore untill the designated driver runs the risk of failing the alcohol test due to all the alcohol fumes in the car, lad.

[–]chromeo 1 point2 points ago

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Scouser?

[–]StevenDickson 10 points11 points ago

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How I feel as the designated driver.

[–]Scary_The_Clown 26 points27 points ago

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You had Ellen Page in a pencil skirt?!???!

[–]karmic_retribution 0 points1 point ago

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Those legs, I... I don't understand the effect they're having on me.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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When I saw that scene in the previews it became my life mission to see that movie and find out just what was going on in that room.

[–]Rym_ 0 points1 point ago

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What movie is it

[–]thatguyinconverse 7 points8 points ago

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You do not speak such words on reddit, you risk being lynched by angry Nolan fans. That's Inception.

[–]Rym_ 1 point2 points ago

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d'oh. I see now!

[–]cheesy_ninja45 8 points9 points ago

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But you know you didn't look this good.

[–]DangerChips 12 points13 points ago

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This is exactly how I felt tonight. Hurrah for sobriety...

[–]haiku_robot 19 points20 points ago

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This is exactly 
how I felt tonight. Hurrah 
for sobriety...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago*

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Writing a reply

In the form of a haiku

come back you robot

[–]tonberry 1 point2 points ago

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Flowing through Reddit

Markdown is tough

Enlightenment is here.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you for the help

I can add blank comment lines

thanks to your link bro

[–]Favres_Penis 11 points12 points ago

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Here's a picture of how you and all the people you drove will feel this morning. http://i.imgur.com/LXtFT.jpg

[–]AMISHassassin 11 points12 points ago

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This is Angels in the Outfield right?

[–]summerteeth 10 points11 points ago

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Close it's Fritz The Cat, I always get those two confused as well.

[–]kloober 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit Fritz the Cat! Haven't thought about that in years.

[–]thtsernmslrdytkn 4 points5 points ago

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Oh man that is perfect. Something about that made me laugh harder than usual. Please, take an upvote.

[–]quartzar_the_king 3 points4 points ago

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I've never really realized that there is a bed in that room, yet only one person is using it, and he's hanging off the end. The rest of them actually chose to sit/lay in extremely awkward positions.

[–]tjc95 2 points3 points ago

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and then you pull out you sharpy

[–]xnorthernx 2 points3 points ago

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The trick is you need to be splitting gas money with the people you are herding around. Then stop every 5 minutes for gas and no one is the wiser.

[–]DeltaBurnt 2 points3 points ago

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You don't think it would be more appropriate/funny to get a screenshot of the level up where the guys is actually driving passed out people?

[–]double-o-awesome 2 points3 points ago

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that pic reminds me a video some students at my school made last year entitled "INEBRIATION"

[–]padreick 7 points8 points ago

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If this guy was a level above everyone else, and they said the jump points were when the van hit the wall and when it hit the water, why doesn't he wake up when it hits the wall? Kinda ruined the whole movie for me.

[–]SpectralMornings 20 points21 points ago

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Actually, I think they need to have synchronized kicks on each level to wake up because of the sedative. The reason Arthur didn't wake up is beacause there was no kick at his level (which was supposed to be triggered using the explosives under the room in the pic).

[–]brokenblinker 3 points4 points ago

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Bingo!

[–]dizmog[S] 2 points3 points ago

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The explosives under the room in this picture are the kick to pull everyone out of level 3 (the snow fortress). The Van kick was for the people in level 2 (the hotel).

The only reason the kicks had to be timed perfectly is because when the level 1 kick goes off, it removes gravity in level 2 and then there's no kick to bring them back from level 3. This doesn't apply to Arthur, who isn't asleep in level 2.

Paderick is kind of right unless you think about it from a duration standpoint. The first kick was too early to wake ANYONE up from the special sedative. He kicked that early because he was being chased & should have waited. By the time the 2nd kick happens though, enough time has passed where the subjects aren't as sedated.

[–]dizmog[S] 13 points14 points ago

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The only only explanation that makes sense to me is that the driver of the van "kicked" too early because he was being chased. Because of the special, stronger sedative he designed, an early kick wasn't enough to wake him up.

I think there's a line of dialogue where they mention something about this. Not sure though.

[–]Roaning 20 points21 points ago

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They said that if you don't wake up with the first kick (the wall) then you'll wake up with the second.

[–]dizmog[S] 1 point2 points ago

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I think they said "if you miss" the first kick, there will be a second. It had to do with timing all the kicks so they matched up. Timing them like that would be the only way to pull them out of level 3 when they had no gravity in level 2 from the kick in level 1.

[–]cncromeo 17 points18 points ago

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What I never understood was that they lost gravity in Arthur's level because Yussef was in freefall, and yet the loss of gravity doesn't transfer to the snow level for some reason...

[–]Paxjax 5 points6 points ago

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They kept most of their gravity because the loss of gravity doesn't reach that far?

[–]PeterIanStaker 2 points3 points ago

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Well, think of any other dream you've had. Outside stimulus can affect your dream, but it doesn't necessarily have to. There aren't any hard rules about that.

[–]brokenblinker 2 points3 points ago

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Movie about traveling in dreams and implanting ideas in people's brain. This is what you got hung up on?

[–]cncromeo -1 points0 points ago

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Haha I know, but I mean in the context of following the rules established in the movie's reality...Which I guess were also very vague.

[–]pudumtish 1 point2 points ago

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This one is bugging me ever since. Especially since other oddities did transfer.

[–]ultra-nihilist 0 points1 point ago

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The physical world doesn't effect dreamers as much in the inner layers.

[–]dizmog[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Kicks only transfer to 1 level because of the special sedative he used to get to 3 levels. That's why they had to synchronize all the kicks to wake up.

If not for this "rule", the single Van kick would have woken everyone up right away and a big chunk of the movie would never have happened.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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I know nobody wants to believe this, but it was a summer blockbuster action movie. It was not made to be airtight.

[–]UFO64 1 point2 points ago

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NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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haha

this comes from the only guy in a group of 3 who was very impressed on the first viewing, while the other 2 told me it was transparent as hell...by viewing 3, i completely agreed and facepalm when i see the movie getting way more analysis than it deserves. AWESOME concept, totally entertaining, but not deep....summer blockbuster. You want something worthy of analysis, watch Memento. If you want to analyze something to impress me and get in my pants, talk to me about Following.

[–]Lasercatz711 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for taking a night off to keep your buddies safe!

[–]ms_marlowe 1 point2 points ago

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did you look as good as joseph gordon-levitt doing it...? cause you can be my dd anytime.

[–]KingLiberal 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, you guys get really dressed up for bar hopping. Classy. Have an upvote.

[–]AstralVoid 1 point2 points ago

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Wow. I just realised DD means designated driver, not drunk driver. I was thinking Reddit was full of idiots.

[–]rezinball 1 point2 points ago

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Good Job Buddy!!!

[–]SnoobY 1 point2 points ago

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Ive seen this movie a week ago and it didn't make ANY sense...

[–]cloakingdevice 2 points3 points ago

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Pay more attention next time you watch it then

[–]Darksing 1 point2 points ago

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Ellen Page has some damn nice legs

[–]kalle11 1 point2 points ago

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This is unreal, I have never seen this movie so i decided to watch it now. I watched this scene like 5 minutes ago.

[–]constructioncranes 0 points1 point ago

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You'd think more of them would use the bed...

[–]beezerblanks 0 points1 point ago

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Can't wait. I'm gonna be DD for my brothers birthday this week. Should be a rowdy time.

[–]sambio 0 points1 point ago

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Thats how I felt as a not partying father tonight.

[–]dinasaur 0 points1 point ago

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Well thanks for being a designated driver fine sir.

[–]Paxman94 0 points1 point ago

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And then the car started rotating...

[–]SirRonaldofBurgundy 0 points1 point ago

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How do I drop you without gravity?

[–]jelaras 0 points1 point ago

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Proud of you

[–]UFO64 0 points1 point ago

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Wait, didn't this end with him fighting in a SPINNING room? And asleep in a van?

[–]shakajumbo 0 points1 point ago

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Now raise a Sunday morning beer! salute

[–]SweetGunnySteve 0 points1 point ago

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I was the same way driving idiots to the Zombie Pub Crawl....

[–]trigzo 0 points1 point ago

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Why did everyone except one in this scene decided to sleep everywhere else but the actual bed? there is plenty of space.

[–]buttonboodilly 0 points1 point ago

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but you look fucking hot....jus sayin

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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How do I clean up your vomit without gravity?

[–]LucrativeLlama 0 points1 point ago

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Were you at the Minneapolis Zombie Pub Crawl too then? Dear Lord. The streets looked like this.

[–]pharmbandit 0 points1 point ago

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time to lay next to ariatne

[–]Hammerhead3229 0 points1 point ago

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I burst out into genuine laughter. I've been here before (not fun, but it's got that badass feeling)

[–]mypetridish 0 points1 point ago

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You made me rewatch the entire movie tonight... (it's 2:30am where i am now)

i blame that juno girl's legs.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted for immediate relevance.

[–]HoochCow 0 points1 point ago

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I had the exact same experience, except everyone was covered in vomit but me.

[–]Barrizle 0 points1 point ago

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The same thing happened to me last night.

[–]plighter 0 points1 point ago

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Does anyone genuinely enjoy being DD?

I sure do! I love the way people act when they're drunk. (But I hate the way people act when they're deliriously drunk!)

[–]dominicanlou 0 points1 point ago

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a little specificity, Eames.

[–]AllHailWestTexas 0 points1 point ago

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Yeahhhhh homecoming.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Michael Scott: We're gonna take your clothes off.

[–]josephgordonreddit 0 points1 point ago

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Relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsZ1SagUPb4

[–]ipainton 0 points1 point ago

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Haha. as a fraternity pledge this is how I feel weekly. Although, last night was awesome/terrible. Some brothers ran to the adjacent construction site and drove all of the huge land clearing equipment until one almost flipped a 300' long scraping rig. Also, some brothers got some sticky fingers and returned with a sword. Had to share this with someone. Hope you enjoyed.

[–]gocougs11 0 points1 point ago

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Know how to never have to be DD again? Get fucking hammered. Yeah, tell everyone you're going to drive them home, then get fucking shitfaced and make them pay for cabs. Blame it on having poor self control. Good friends won't make that big of a deal about it, but you'll never be asked to DD again.

[–]gigitrix 1 point2 points ago

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How incredibly uncivilised.

[–]ray13eezy 0 points1 point ago

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You are the worst kind of person. I love the Cougs, but fuck you.

[–]Sec9Rax 0 points1 point ago

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whats a designated driver o0

[–]celesteyay 2 points3 points ago

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on the off chance that you're serious: the person who is supposed to stay sober throughout the night and then drive everyone else home.

NOT to be confused with the DDD (designated drunk driver)

[–]trollytrollerson -1 points0 points ago

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How I felt being the last one with dope left.

[–]Finstyle -2 points-1 points ago

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Oh i see what you did there :D

[–]rad00n -1 points0 points ago

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you mean you felt like someone designated to drive home people who usually drive bus-drivers home?

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