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all 165 comments

[–]r00x 488 points489 points ago

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Is that a fucking seal on that shirt?

He killed a seal with that bike?

[–]SkaveRat 109 points110 points ago

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well, fuck. Now the warranty is void.

[–]Deeterific 11 points12 points ago

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The extended one covers seals and kangaroos.

[–]acaraballo21 17 points18 points ago

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Maybe it's a metaphor and he killed a Navy Seal?

[–]saywee123 7 points8 points ago

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Is the devil into metaphors?

[–]bokonon909 26 points27 points ago

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No. The devil is into details.

[–]Badmojoe 2 points3 points ago

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Nice try, Skyler White.

[–]acaraballo21 6 points7 points ago

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I don't know what he's into now, although he used to be into sarcasm until his remark about being more powerful than god was taken too seriously.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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No, the warranty is still valid. He didn't break the seal, he killed it.

[–]r00x -1 points0 points ago

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That's what I think, too. This seems like exactly the sort of thing a warranty would cover. Maybe an extended warranty.

[–]dabontv 170 points171 points ago

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Loose seal. Watch out for loose seal.

[–]PreExRedditor 82 points83 points ago

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I don't care about Lucille. she lies

[–]NolanRoss 14 points15 points ago

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What a cunt. Good riddance.

[–]csh_blue_eyes 18 points19 points ago

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Get rid of the seaward.

[–]post_mecca 9 points10 points ago

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I'll leave when I'm good and ready.

[–]dghughes 2 points3 points ago

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She picked a fine time to leave you.

[–]skookin 2 points3 points ago

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What with four hundred children and rocks in the fields...

[–]lucilletwo 1 point2 points ago

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I do not!

[–]Xeeker 0 points1 point ago

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i think he was talking about lucille one.

[–]TheLostSanity 0 points1 point ago

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And gets vertigo.

[–]Pornfest 1 point2 points ago

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Wet Seal

edit: only girls may get this

[–]cdtoad 0 points1 point ago

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Ib get it the store. What i dont get is the store.

[–]IggySorcha -1 points0 points ago

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Wrong, it was a wet seal.

[–]jamangold 26 points27 points ago

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Not to mention a horse, cow, sheep and a... monkey.

[–]swuboo 59 points60 points ago

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Little Timmy's trip to the zoo was eventful.

[–]Badmojoe 0 points1 point ago

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They were all sacrificed to the dark one. In exchange he gets a new t-shirt design.

[–]rachelbythebay 22 points23 points ago

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"Looks like you blew a seal"

"Oh goodness no, it's just ice cream!"

[–]Lampmonster1 7 points8 points ago

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That's actually a sport in Canada if I'm not mistaken.

[–]Badmojoe 0 points1 point ago

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Canadians are killing shit with bikes!? Now I have a good reason besides politics to move out of the states!

[–]kittenkat4u 0 points1 point ago

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ya except we aim big...moose, bear etc...on occassion its smaller ones like beavers and shit...lol.

[–]Grachiaire 1 point2 points ago

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Canadians, man. Killing f*cking bears with their bikes.

[–]kittenkat4u 1 point2 points ago

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it's all about where you aim for....hit the wrong spot(especially on a moose) and youre toast but hit it just right you have meat for months....lol.

[–]emperornibble 19 points20 points ago

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[–]saywee123 11 points12 points ago

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[–]emperornibble -1 points0 points ago

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That just made my day. UPVOTE

[–]creativepun 10 points11 points ago

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the bike has spike tires and flamethrower add ons

[–]_oMeGa_ 2 points3 points ago

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It's a sweet bike.

[–]TacticalSanta 4 points5 points ago

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Kick Ass!!

[–]maz-o 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like just a sea lion to me.

[–]ant_madness 1 point2 points ago

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Tear one of the spokes out of the wheel and you can kill anything that holds still long enough.

[–]finallymadeanaccount 1 point2 points ago

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Of course he did! It's a Schwinn!

'For the ride of your life ... '

[–]rbhindepmo 1 point2 points ago

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maybe he killed Seal the singer with his bike. It would explain why he hasn't been around for awhile

[–]The_FactSphere 1 point2 points ago

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And a cow.

[–]yxing 0 points1 point ago

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He clubbed it with the bike all Hulk-like and shit.

[–]HumanoidCarbonUnit 0 points1 point ago

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I can't tell for sure but it looks like he killed a fucking puma with his bike. Maybe it is a house cat but it sure looks like a big cat.

[–]valkyrieone 0 points1 point ago

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mY thoughts exactly!

[–]keylogthis -2 points-1 points ago

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It was a baby. All the animals were babies. He's a baby killer.

[–]robotevil 6 points7 points ago

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ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ -nooooooo

[–]I_Jump2conclusions 2 points3 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]whatsadigg 189 points190 points ago

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Every time I have unprotected sex, a baby appears nine months later! I think the devil does it.

[–]DFGdanger 62 points63 points ago

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So if you have unprotected sex with the same girl every night for a week, a baby appears each day of the week 9 months from then? Sounds like the work of the Stork to me.

[–]aarontrout 60 points61 points ago

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I googled "satanic Stork" and found an appropriate image.

[–]seamonkee 10 points11 points ago

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r/childfree (and prolly twox) would love that :)

[–]ForgettableUsername 17 points18 points ago

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I thought that was how you got twins, triplets, &c.

[–]corporeal-entity 14 points15 points ago

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Interestingly, animals like cats can mate with multiple partners and produce genetic offspring that represents all of them.

[–]DGolden 11 points12 points ago

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Kittens with different fathers in the one litter you mean? Humans can do that too (well, with human children rather than kittens, of course)

[–]throwawaycanadian 17 points18 points ago*

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I really tried to find the picture of the woman pregnant with cats... But just found way to much fucked up shit on google, so I gave up.

Edit Found it

[–]DGolden 5 points6 points ago

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There is the story of Mary Toft, though that was rabbits (mostly - bits of cats were reportedly involved too according to the wikipedia page linked), and of course she wasn't really pregnant with rabbits, just sticking bits of rabbits where they shouldn't be as a hoax.

[–]throwawaycanadian 4 points5 points ago

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Oh, no. This was like. A funny picture I saw on reddit a little while back. A funny picture of cats. Totally random on this site, right?

edit Found it

[–]bokonon909 0 points1 point ago

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Damn. You had me going with the kittens.

[–]OfficerMudkip -2 points-1 points ago

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Too bad it's never happened.

[–]euyyn 0 points1 point ago

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I can mate with multiple partners and have genetic offspring that represents all of them.

[–]kaminix 9 points10 points ago

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Every time? That's some prime sperm you've got there!

[–]mijamala1 2 points3 points ago

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You can't explain that!

[–]Rvish 49 points50 points ago

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Damnit, now I have to scour all the old Seanbaby articles to find which one this is from, I know I've seen it before.

[–]FabulousLastWords 14 points15 points ago

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This couldn't possibly be by anyone else. Seanbaby is a god.

[–]Heimdall1972 13 points14 points ago*

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This one isn't Seanbaby's. He's used the ad the image is from, but in a different fashion: Man Comics: Terrifying Safety Lessons for Kids

[–]CptSquirrel 6 points7 points ago

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So THAT'S the origin of Popsicle Pete.

[–]CorkyKribler 2 points3 points ago

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Popsicle Pete is a GD Internet God.

"None of you are safe!"

[–]Rvish 0 points1 point ago

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See, I knew I saw it somewhere. Thanks for doing the footwork, have a vertically inclined pointer of orange hue.

[–]el_pinata 11 points12 points ago

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They say he invented internet funny. I think I agree.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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It reminded me of the work of a guy called Steve Aylett, although his creations are often far more surreal (sample dialogue: "I've never liked you, in form or spirit. You talk about octopi ceaselessly and that tar you tried to make was trash").

So, you know, it could have been someone else...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Himmelreich 0 points1 point ago

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no

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Himmelreich 0 points1 point ago

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both

[–]othersomethings 0 points1 point ago*

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No one makes me laugh and cry like he does.

[–]avianbc 25 points26 points ago

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I've used this pic for years as my avatar on forums. People always PM me asking where it came from and I have no idea. Though this one is higher quality than my old one, so thanks for updating my avatar.

[–]pantsbrigade 6 points7 points ago

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Rvish is right, this could very well be Seanbaby.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Definitely Seanbaby, the original was an advertisement for an animal print shirt. Don't remember the article.

[–]Rvish 2 points3 points ago

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Nope, Heimdall1972 found the panel I was thinking of, and it wasn't the same. Don't care, any excuse to re-read me some Seanbaby.

[–]distractthepaladin 15 points16 points ago

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This thread would be more awesome without the bitching about using Comic Sans . . . in a comic.

[–]mindaika 6 points7 points ago

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Besides "Comic sans Comic Sans" just sounds silly.

[–]klapaucius 4 points5 points ago

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That's like complaining that people don't want mustard gas with their mustard.

[–]SCombinator 1 point2 points ago

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Comic sans is not meant to be used in print.

[–]Minimumtyp 13 points14 points ago

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Comic Sans. Fuck the haters.

[–]ElwoodDowd 17 points18 points ago

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A few days ago I had to help someone at work change their default MS Word normal.dot template so that all new documents used "Comic Sans" by default.

Working in IT eats your soul.

[–]Molozonide 7 points8 points ago

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That evil bastard.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Even normal people do evil things just because they were told to, don't blame yourself - see the Milgram experiment, where test subjects gave what they assumed to be electric shocks to an actor because the experimenter told them to.

Of course, it's a poor analogy as electric shocks are nowhere near as bad as Comic Sans.

[–]Xeeker 2 points3 points ago

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... great. now i have to google "Milgram experiment" because somebody did not include a link. does that ring a bell mail2345? DOES IT?!

[–]NotActualIrony 6 points7 points ago

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Well this is a comic. I wonder if that some how makes this kosher.

Inb4 comic sans never kosher Inb4 you can't inb4

[–]EnolaGay 3 points4 points ago

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Is this the work of Seanbaby?

[–]svenhoek86 2 points3 points ago

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Who else? This has to be his, no one else is that good.

[–]nick2k 2 points3 points ago

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i want that shirt. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!

[–]joyfullysad 16 points17 points ago

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how did he kill a seal with his bike?

[–]ForgettableUsername 49 points50 points ago

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While they are graceful swimmers, seals are somewhat awkward on land, and barely capable of riding bicycles at all, which makes them easy prey for sadistic school-children, which are their only land-based predator.

[–]mybreathyourlung 10 points11 points ago

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He hit it, hard. Obviously.

[–]tortuganaught 11 points12 points ago

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i assume he uses the bike as a sort of bat to bludgeon the animals to death.

[–]dannylandulf 1 point2 points ago*

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Good question. I tried lupus on one and it just put a scar on his face.

[–]PistolOfShame 8 points9 points ago

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Tide comes in, tide comes out. You can't explain that!

[–]SnapeApproves 2 points3 points ago

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Well you see what happens is, Magic

[–]nrfx 1 point2 points ago

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Pretty sure its aliens.

[–]Condawg 1 point2 points ago

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I THINK THE DEVIL DOES IT.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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the devil is a magic alien that rides in on the tide

[–]PistolOfShame 0 points1 point ago

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So what you're saying is... cow samurai exist?

[–]Gimpster 2 points3 points ago

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And magnets, how do they work?

[–]Se7en_Sinner 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking miracles.

[–]Fingel 1 point2 points ago

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I want one! Just tell where to mail my soul.

[–]taranaki 1 point2 points ago

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Sounds vaguely like an episode of Power Rangers i remember. Like this big frog monster guy kept eating Power Rangers and then like a picture of them were on his stomach.....yeah, good times

[–]Ipvpsand 1 point2 points ago

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Pretty sure this is from Seanbaby's Cracked work, much like this.

[–]Onassis 1 point2 points ago

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Now I want one of those shirts too!!

[–]Smartest_one_hear 1 point2 points ago

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Is anyone else concerned because there is a young lady yelling, 'Kick ass!!'

[–]WAAAAAAAAAAAT 1 point2 points ago

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That is probably the toughest biker I have ever seen.

[–]el_pinata 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't this a Seanbaby?

[–]I_have_BPD_sorry 1 point2 points ago

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I accidentally hit a kitty with the front tire of my motorcycle (he leapt at it like he was going to attack it). I turned around and he was flopping in the street... worst feeling ever.

I think he lived, I turned around and came back and saw no sign of him.

[–]almeras 1 point2 points ago

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This should be its own shirt.

[–]MasterxAce 1 point2 points ago

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Just remember that shirt was made in china...

[–]G_Julius_Caesar 1 point2 points ago

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I don't get it?

[–]Arynn -1 points0 points ago

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Me either. Anyone care to explain this?

[–]drmarcj 48 points49 points ago

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A cherubic child is admitting to murdering many animals, and attributing supernatural events (pictures of animals appearing on his shirt) to the devil. His innocent-looking friends are suitably impressed. The amusement comes from the juxtaposition of horrible behaviour against the gaiety and youthfulness of the children depicted, and of course an artwork style that exudes 1950s innocence.

[–]Arynn 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you :)

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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see: kill marks or kill markings

[–]WendyLRogers2 0 points1 point ago

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The Illustrated Man, or perhaps the TV series the short-lived Brimstone.

[–]pizzadelivaryguy 0 points1 point ago

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Ghost Rider in the making?

[–]skeptical 0 points1 point ago

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If you like that, you'd like this short: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYAixjN9BQg Rabbit by Run Wrake.

[–]imanerd000 0 points1 point ago

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"kick ass"... fucking sadists!
edit: there's also a cross between a dog, an ant-eater and a sheep on his shirt. wtf?

[–]funkytaco 0 points1 point ago

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This is the only good use for Comic Sans.

[–]avatarr 0 points1 point ago

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I'd have about a million grasshoppers, some beetles, some butterflies, a few snakes, and a bird on my shirt. Yes, I managed to run over a bird (in flight) while biking. It swooped in front of me while I was going about 25mph. I thought for sure it would "pull up" or swoop out of the way, but nope - Fwack! Just about caused me to wreck, the crazy thing.

[–]inlieuofshoe 0 points1 point ago

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Where do lesbians ride bikes where they can run over dogs and seals?

[–]TemptingSponge 0 points1 point ago

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How the hell do you hit a seal with your bike?

[–]number6 2 points3 points ago

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You throw it. Either one, you throw it at the other one. Bam.

[–]jeltimab 0 points1 point ago

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The seal... i dont...

[–]KingOfMasques 1 point2 points ago

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Nonpolitical transcendental arithemadental coolam bindang bapalooka nimbauw.

[–]swedishdelight 0 points1 point ago

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nevermind.

[–]number6 0 points1 point ago

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What? It really is pretty damn kick ass.

[–]emgeejay 0 points1 point ago

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Can we call a moratorium on things being posted to r/WTF that are obvious jokes?

[–]i_like_little_boys 0 points1 point ago

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here...here precious

[–]4pp13J4CK 0 points1 point ago

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How the hell do you kill a house with a bike? He'd have to dismount, lift the bike bike, then beat the horse with it. Even then, he'd have to tear out since spikes and repeatedly stab it. The face. Then...

I could go on and on...

[–]Xeeker 5 points6 points ago

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no actually i'd first smash the windows, then maybe break the doors somehow, punch some holes in the walls, ... you know. slowly tear the thing apart. of course, that would be hard if there were still people living inside.

also, you don't necessarily need a bike bike to beat a horse. and who says every house includes a horse? frankly, your logic is beyond my comprehension

[–]4pp13J4CK 0 points1 point ago

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Lmfao.. Sometimes my phone hides words and sometimes I don't see it when it spells out the wrong words... Have some comment karma

[–]Seraphael 0 points1 point ago

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I'm drunk enough that this makes sense.

[–]Aethelstan 0 points1 point ago

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WTF?! Why is 'everytime' a single word?!!

[–]Illwish 0 points1 point ago

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That's a sea lion guys (unless Americans call both seals and sea lions 'seals). Much more mobile on land, so possibly more ridiculous.

[–]mus0u 0 points1 point ago

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None of you are safe!

[–]lizbethblues 0 points1 point ago

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Who doesn't kill seals when they ride their bikes?

[–]kalmah 0 points1 point ago

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The Devil created comic sans.

[–]HenryTM 0 points1 point ago

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Probably the ONLY time Comic Sans has ever been justifiably used.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Tidus4eva 4 points5 points ago

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Hey hey hey, if you want to sink stereotypes into this, at least blame it on the Westboro Baptist Churches logic, it's more believable then

[–]Zallarion 3 points4 points ago

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They're also christian, they just take some parts more seriously.

[–]UnderTruth -1 points0 points ago

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They take some parts less seriously.

[–]Zallarion 1 point2 points ago*

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Some parts more and some parts less. They still believe in the giant boat + flood thing though. So to me they're equally batshit insane.

[–]MrBoog -4 points-3 points ago

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[–]mariamus 5 points6 points ago

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Well, you'd think comic sans was appropriate for a comic...

[–]ExplainsTheLinkAbove 0 points1 point ago

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It's the Imminent Ned meme with the text, "The font snobs are coming."

[–]ExtraNoise -3 points-2 points ago*

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Would be more awesome without the use of Comic Sans. The font wasn't developed until 1995.

Edit: Downvotes? I wasn't even complaining about Comic Sans. I was just saying that it didn't match the age of the comic. :(

[–]akrams1 -2 points-1 points ago

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did diddy do it?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Comic Sans... And since when do they say "Kick Ass" in comics?