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all 139 comments

[–]nightfire1 168 points169 points ago

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He has a mustache on his chest... I will never be this manly.

[–][deleted] 72 points73 points ago*

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Chestache!

Edit: Thanks for the upvotes. Be excellent to each other.

[–]loldan 9 points10 points ago

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I should have known I wasn't the only clever one.

[–]Le_Plant 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't that just a hear attack?

[–]emanking 0 points1 point ago

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Ayyyooooooo!

[–]meter1060 0 points1 point ago

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He must keep it looking so good with all of that bacon grease...

[–]Cromiell 3 points4 points ago

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If he evolves, he gets a Chest Beard. +200 Defense.

[–]lurkhard 7 points8 points ago

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Sploosh.

[–]joek440 1 point2 points ago

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That is probably the only place I could grow a mustache.

[–]dddddan -2 points-1 points ago

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Looks like an upvote on his chest to me.

[–]inner-peace 0 points1 point ago

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Torso: should be think and impenetrable.

[–]dvance91 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, the ol' Pyramid of Greatness. I shudder to remember a time when I didn't have a clear guideline by which to live my life.

[–]mattrva 92 points93 points ago

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“On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”

[–]toastercookie[S] 102 points103 points ago

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"OK, everyone: shut up! And look at me! Welcome to "Visions of Nature." This room has several paintings in it. Some are big, some are small. People did them and they're here now. I believe that after this is over, they'll be hung in government buildings. Why the government is involved in an art show is beyond me. I also think it's pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they could just go outside and stand in it. Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. End of speech. "

[–]a_starfish 11 points12 points ago

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By far my favorite character in the show.

Actually, maybe in any show. Ron Swanson vs. Abed? I don't know who wins.

[–]wankerbot 4 points5 points ago

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The mustache wins.

[–]AgnosticAndroid 2 points3 points ago

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The mustache always wins.

[–]Vitalstatistix 5 points6 points ago

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It's a toss up between him and Tom Haverford for me. Aziz is painfully funny. Tommy Fresh!

[–]bayofbelfalas 12 points13 points ago

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jean-ralphio also always gets a laugh.

[–]Vitalstatistix 6 points7 points ago

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I love his pitch to Donna when he's like "bounce bounce bounce". Fell in love with his character there.

[–]bayofbelfalas 3 points4 points ago

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last week's episode's Entertainment 720 bits had me laughing.

[–]Vertigo666 8 points9 points ago

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Wait, you married three times.

...You're right. I have another effigy to burn.

[–]velocicopter 46 points47 points ago

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"This is a picture of a gentlemen's agreement. I built him a table in exchange for 30 feet of copper wire and a half pig."

[–]TA8601 24 points25 points ago

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I can masturbate to this.

Hell, I can't NOT masturbate to this.

[–]WoodsMD 2 points3 points ago

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that's pretty much exactly what I came here to post. "fuck it. I'd fap to that"

[–]Stumblin_McBumblin 9 points10 points ago

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Can anyone make out the text on his right arm? I can read "Under my" as the first two words, "Bacon" on the second line of text, and "Swanson" at the end.

[–]ColHunterGathers 28 points29 points ago

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If i had to guess, i think it's

"Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons."

[–]NewScotlandBlues 6 points7 points ago

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assuming they heed the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness, of course

[–]chewtinfoil 0 points1 point ago

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From Sam Spratt's site "Tattoo of the text from Ron’s Speech to the boy’s basketball team.." ColHunterGathers appears to be on track.

[–]sterling_mallory 19 points20 points ago

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[–]terex232 10 points11 points ago

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[–]kwassa1 2 points3 points ago

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An astute observation.

[–]terex232 0 points1 point ago*

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thanks! That's how i live my life, and how most posts make front page...Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, my opinion, man.

[–]eiraly 3 points4 points ago

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Upvote for your name alone.

[–]gstatty 17 points18 points ago

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"Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait… wait... I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?"

[–]Flanagax 9 points10 points ago

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You, r/alternativeart,now!

[–]QQasaurus 6 points7 points ago

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I'm excited to tattoo this on my back.

[–]nolez 0 points1 point ago

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Hi TWill.

[–]QQasaurus 1 point2 points ago

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Oh snap.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Bear attack!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I'm gay now, thanks.

[–]Newshoe 12 points13 points ago

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Tammy 1: "I was there when you took your first breath and I will be there when you take your last"

[–]namfibian 3 points4 points ago

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Definition of a real man.

[–]zuluthrone 2 points3 points ago

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this is far too glorious

[–]state08 4 points5 points ago

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Why can't I stop staring at this picture?

[–]mybreathyourlung 6 points7 points ago

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I don't know, but I feel a little awkward doing it while at work.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Because you are witnessing what you truly wish to be.

[–]Immynimmy 3 points4 points ago

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BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA!

[–]kwassa1 0 points1 point ago

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Boola Boola Boola!

[–]DarnJester99 2 points3 points ago

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Ron FUCKING Swanson!

[–]nolez 2 points3 points ago

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Oh toastercookie, you karma whore you :D

[–]AKsith 2 points3 points ago

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The only thing missing is a tattoo of his mom. The other Tammy in his life.

[–]ColHunterGathers 4 points5 points ago

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Maybe his whole back is dedicated to that.

[–]BridgetteBane 0 points1 point ago

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I read that in his voice!

[–]Boxing_Clever 2 points3 points ago

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I've made this the background for all of my electronic devices, I will also be printing one for my desk. Your friend, is a hero.

[–]RatFang 2 points3 points ago

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Does this remind anyone else of an illustration of Mario that was posted a while back...

[–]HonorAmongSteves 0 points1 point ago

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Link?

[–]RatFang 0 points1 point ago

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Sorry, can't find it.... was hoping that someone else would know what I was talking about... nope...

[–]meh-aidez -1 points0 points ago

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NO THATS DAT NIGGA FROM ZELDA NIGGS

[–]Bigbenxxxx37 2 points3 points ago

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http://www.samspratt.com/

Seriously, this guy is an amazing artist. I started following him when he started doing artwork for Gizmodo, and his skills have improved dramatically even since then.

[–]spinning_jenny13 0 points1 point ago

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That's awesome! Thanks for the link :)

[–]sqazm 2 points3 points ago

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Ron Swanson to Sam Spratt: "Wait...I'm worried what you just heard was 'give me a lot of chestache.' What I said was, 'give me all the chestache you have."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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This is uncomfortably homo erotic.

[–]Sejehest 3 points4 points ago

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His fucking chest has a moustache

[–]Jungleradio 3 points4 points ago

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You might also want to post this over at r/pandr

[–]DocAwk 2 points3 points ago

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POSTER VERSION, NOW. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

[–]toastercookie[S] 11 points12 points ago

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[–]saireuh 1 point2 points ago

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I think I'm in love.

[–]whyUmadtho 1 point2 points ago

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Tammy 1.

[–]Ronald_Swanson 1 point2 points ago

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I remember this, this is exactly when I tell that hippie with the camera to get the hell out of my cabin.

[–]hrmmexi 1 point2 points ago

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Ron fucking Swanson.

[–]jarpaulson 1 point2 points ago

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Where's the beef? THERE'S the beef

[–]Clutch_McGroin 1 point2 points ago

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I was planning on a Baldur's Gate play through in the next few weeks, this will be my character's portrait!

[–]dont_yell_at_me 1 point2 points ago

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This is hands down front page worthy....

[–]abcdefCookieMonster 1 point2 points ago

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So many lady boners right now.

[–]I_hart_Sqwerls 1 point2 points ago

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FUCKING amazing. Ron Swanson is a badass, and this picture does him justice.

Also, Sam Spratt: The only other man I know who holds his pen like I do, and does godly things with it.

[–]crackshot91[!] 0 points1 point ago

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Wait... you write like that?? How in god's name...?

[–]DannyPaja 1 point2 points ago

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What about his cornrows and half shaved mustache

[–]gct 1 point2 points ago

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Imagine my surprise when I got my latest issue of fine woodworking only to find him on the cover. Turns out he used his woodworking skills to keep himself going as an actor.

[–]i_am_beercules 1 point2 points ago

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Have all of my upvotes.

[–]samspratt 1 point2 points ago

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You're a very kind hive-mind, reddit. I'm incredibly flattered (some of) you like my illustration. My apologies on the lack of bacon-representation.

[–]i_justwanna_knowww 0 points1 point ago

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I find it incredibly sad that no one replied to your comment on this thread, which thousands of people saw! You are an incredible artist Sam. I have spent the last hour looking at every piece of work I could track down. Amazing. Stay cool Mr Spratt! (I love the Walter White illustration the most)

[–]killthebadger 1 point2 points ago

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Ron Swanson sounds EXACTLY like Nicolas Cage.

[–]Grazfather 0 points1 point ago

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So he didn't get a tattoo of his third wife, whom we have not been introduced to yet.

[–]ColHunterGathers 8 points9 points ago

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He only has the 2 ex-wives, but he Married TammyTwo twice.

[–]Grazfather 0 points1 point ago

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Hm. I remember an episode where leslie says he has three, and he goes, "Oh wait... I do have three". Maybe he was referring to tammy two.

[–]99TA 1 point2 points ago

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His mother is the original Tammy.

[–]ColHunterGathers 1 point2 points ago

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I just watched that episode a few days ago. It was Andy and April's wedding, and he was saying how he gets to burn something after each failed marriage. Im pretty sure it was that and not ex wives.

[–]Grazfather 0 points1 point ago

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An effigy, that's right. He was saying he got to burn a third.

[–]GnarlyNerd 0 points1 point ago

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God, if only this were wallpaper size. I'd load this glorious bastard onto every PC in the office.

[–]RonSwanson39 0 points1 point ago

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I approve

[–]AwHellNaw 0 points1 point ago

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Now hand him some breakfast food.

[–]grindertt 0 points1 point ago

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That's honestly a little terrifying...

[–]scouser916 0 points1 point ago

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Please tell me this is for sale somewhere as a poster...I need it to go on the wall next to my poster of Neil Patrick Harris riding a unicorn

[–]toastercookie[S] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]scouser916 1 point2 points ago

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Awesome!

Too rich for my blood, though :(

[–]SnakeoilSales 0 points1 point ago

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I'm strangely attracted to him now. Damn you, Reddit and Mr. Spratt!

[–]fernguts 0 points1 point ago

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Awesome! But the treasure-trail (or the highway-to-heaven, if you prefer) should have been a mustache too.

[–]erikthesloth 0 points1 point ago

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Give him all the bacon and eggs you have.

[–]RukaKurenai 0 points1 point ago

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I have the weirdest boner right now!

[–]Foley1 0 points1 point ago

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I want a pic of me like that :(

[–]Spacedoubt 0 points1 point ago

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Ron Swanson > Final Fights Haggar

[–]cmatt010 0 points1 point ago

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Best part of this is obviously the chest mustache.

[–]hansblitz 0 points1 point ago

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I have a confused boner...

[–]richertai 0 points1 point ago

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I just came

[–]WhiteGazebo 0 points1 point ago

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Can't look away...

[–]CorneliusWalnut 0 points1 point ago

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He's the saxton hale of tv.

[–]BridgetteBane 0 points1 point ago

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I have the weirdest turned-on feeling right now...

[–]cupcakewizard 0 points1 point ago

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DESKTOP VERSION, NOW

[–]tails57 0 points1 point ago

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Accurate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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toastercookie? On my frontpage?!

[–]missfett 0 points1 point ago

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OH GOOD GOD YES

[–]severedfinger 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks, you just turned me gay.

[–]mrwoolery 0 points1 point ago

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I'm swimming in meat right now, figuratively, visually, and literally.

[–]ajsatx 0 points1 point ago

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You are literally a gold digger!

[–]NATE_BDA_628 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Hands 0 points1 point ago

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"You had me at meat tornado."

[–]zinco96 0 points1 point ago

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Saxton Hale + Mike Haggar = this guy.

[–]SJJ1960 0 points1 point ago

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I love that show :)

[–]Jucoy 0 points1 point ago

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He kind of reminds me of.... SAXTON HAAAAAAAAALE!

[–]senseimohr 0 points1 point ago

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Oh no..... it moved! 0_o

[–]t-wilson93 0 points1 point ago

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I bet he can down some beers

[–]crackrocknbach 0 points1 point ago

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this guy is my idol

[–]The_Comma_Splicer 0 points1 point ago

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Holy crap! He looks like Drunk Steve from Deadwood.

[–]CimmerianX 0 points1 point ago

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This guy.... This is the Guy.

[–]Cheddarwurst 0 points1 point ago

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That is the best chest hair I have ever seen.

[–]flax41 0 points1 point ago

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I can't upvote this enough

[–]Dreckerr 0 points1 point ago

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...Mike Haggar?

[–]HomunculusGluttony 0 points1 point ago

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i literally just spent all day watching this show on netflix, then i come to reddit to this, awesome

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This is basically what I look like, is ANYONE at all into this? no?

[–]ohhstuffnfluff -1 points0 points ago

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This is awesome, but his hair is parted the wrong way! :( THIS IS BOTHERING ME SO MUCH.

[–]bandersnatched -1 points0 points ago

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Omg I knew this guy from SCAD! He's an incredible artist but a total douche.

[–]Drgrant 0 points1 point ago

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I saw that he went to SCAD; what year was this?

[–]theizzydor -1 points0 points ago

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this is fucking epic

[–]_Peepshow_ -2 points-1 points ago

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No homo